• Published 18th Jan 2015
  • 3,515 Views, 29 Comments

One Cold Winter's Day - scuba12



After a freak blizzard blankets Ponyville with snow, Rainbow Dash and her team are called on to help restore things back to normal.

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Red-hoofed

The profound levels of snow turned the normally bustling town into a white wasteland. Miss Cherilee had decided to close the school for the day, and most of the business ponies decided to call it a snow day as well. It seemed that everypony would rather spend time indoors by the fire than brave the frozen tundra. Everypony, except for Rainbow Dash, who had been forced to work on her day off. While most of the population was indoors, she scoured the town, searching for her next-in-command, Cloudchaser. Cloudchaser was not your typical pony, as she would rather be outdoors than stuck inside on a day like this. At least that was what Rainbow Dash hoped.

Rainbow's stark suspicions turned out fruitful, as she roamed the many back alleys of Ponyville and spotted the lilac-colored mare talking with her sister, Flitter. The two were always together, after all. Rainbow Dash quickly leaped into the air, and with a powerful flap of her wings, hurriedly closed the distance between her and the other two mares.

"Hey, Cloudchaser!" Rainbow called out as she approached the two.

Cloudchaser paused her conversation with her sister to turn and see who was calling her name.

"Oh, hey Rainbow! What's up?"

"We've got to clear some of these clouds out to let some sunshine through ASAP," Rainbow said in a clamorous tone. "If we don't, who knows what we'll wake up to tomorrow morning! I need you to gather the rest of the team and meet me over at Town Hall in 15 minutes."

"No problem. I'll see ya' there," Cloudchaser said as she and her sister took off and headed to round up the rest of the team.

"Some day off," Rainbow said to herself as she, too, took to the skies.

As the town's fillies began to tire of the indoor prisons that kept them from a day of fun, Twilight began to observe several ponies trying to dig their way out of their homes. Noticing their near futile attempts, she resolved to go and help the townsponies. In the past, the residents of Ponyville swore not to use magic to clean up winter, but this appeared to be the one exception to the oath.

Little by little, ponies from all across town could be seen jumping and playing in the winter wonderland. It seemed that all the little fillies in town had joined together for a snowball fight near Town Hall, as forts and ammunition began to take form amongst the various groups. One of the groups happened to catch Twilight's eye, as blurs of white, orange, and yellow could be seen behind one of the walls that had formed. She had always admired those three young fillies for their endearing and passionate determination, even in the face of adversity. She could imagine the chant now: Cutie Mark Crusaders Snowball Fighters! Yay!

"Hey, Twilight! Over here!"

Twilight turned to find her overly-animated pink friend jumping up and down while motioning for her to join her and their friends. Twilight quickly directed herself towards her friends and cantered over to join them.

As she approached her friends, she noted the presence of all of her best friends; all except for Rainbow Dash, who could be seen above flying from cloud to cloud. "Hiya girls!" Twilight beamed.

"We're making a super fantabulous snow pony!" Pinkie Pie quickly blurted out. "Wanna join?"

Twilight cocked her head slightly to the right. "A...what now?" Twilight asked, adorning a very confused look on her face.

"A snow pony, silly! Y'know, a pony made of snow?"

Twilight appeared equally as confused as the first time that Pinkie Pie had said it.

Applejack was the first to speak up. "Haven't y'all made a snow pony before? Ah mean, it's pretty common round this time of year. Surely y'all made 'em as a filly..."

Twilight shook her head in response. "No, I haven't. Not much 'fun in the snow' happens in Canterlot. Besides, I was always too busy studying spells. Can you show me?"

"Duh! It's really easy! It's like eating apple pie! Yummy, yummy apple pie..." Pinkie Pie trailed off in thought, drool pouring out of her mouth at the thought of a warm, fresh-baked treat.

Twilight simply rolled her eyes at the unpleasant, yet rather amusing, sight before her. As she did so, a cyan streak in the sky caught her eye, and she watched as Rainbow Dash rushed across the sky, busting most, if not all, of the dark, dreary clouds that obstructed the sun's vibrant rays. She had always been very envious of that remarkable mare, particularly for her dexterous flying skills, her radiant confidence, and her aesthetic elegance. She remembered back to her very first encounter with the daring pegasus, watching in awe as her own skepticism was wiped away in no more than ten seconds. It was then that her admiration for Rainbow Dash began, and her admiration had only grown with time.

In fact, lately Twilight had noticed that whenever Rainbow Dash was around, her mind seemed to go blank. No worries, no stress. Nothing but...her.

While Twilight's admiration had gone unnoticed by most ponies, her distraction was obvious to others. Others, including Rarity. While her friends began gathering snow for the snow pony, she noticed that somepony was missing. Turning her head to look behind her, she noticed the lavender alicorn sitting on her haunches staring at the sky.

What could she possibly be looking at? Rarity thought to herself, her eyes tracing Twilight's gaze upward. As she scanned the skies, she half-expected some amazing anomaly, but her eyes could only spot one thing in the massive gray sky: a cyan blur followed by a rainbow trail. Rarity, with a look of slight confusion adorning her face, turned to look once again at Twilight, whose gaze was still averted upwards.

"Twilight, darling, are you alright?" Rarity questioned with a concerned tone.

At the sound of her name, Twilight quickly snapped out of the trance that she was in. "What- huh? Sorry. Did you say something?"

Rarity walked closer to Twilight and sat beside her. "I asked if you were alright, dear. You seem rather...distracted. Is something wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Twilight responded.

"Twilight, please, you were staring at the sky for several minutes before I said anything."

Twilight took a swift glance around her. She spotted her other friends several yards away and noted that the body of the snow pony had already been constructed, making her realize just how long she had been incoherent. "I- I was, uh, making sure that Rainbow had everything under control. I- If she clears too many clouds, then too much sunlight will get through and winter will be wrapped up ea " Twilight blurted out before being cut off by a white hoof meeting her muzzle.

"If that were true, darling, then you wouldn't have that obvious blush on your cheeks."

Twilight dropped her head and looked directly at the ground, pondering what she was going to say next.

Rarity, noticing the embarrassed look upon Twilight's face, spoke up first. "Why Twilight, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Love is a completely natural feeling."

"L-Love? Who said anything about love?" Twilight frantically responded.

"Your face, dear. Your words may deceive, but your eyes most definitely do not. I, for one, think it is absolutely marvelous that you have a little crush on our dear friend Rainbow Dash."

"B-But love isn't real! I-It's nothing more than hormones and pheromones that cause the brain to be attracted to anoth " Twilight was once again cut off by Rarity's hoof.

"Twilight," Rarity said with a sigh and a downward glance, keeping her hoof in place over Twilight's mouth, "You are the most intelligent pony that I know. And that's wonderful, it truly is. But love is not a thing of science or math. Love is a matter of the heart. And the longer you try to explain it through means of logic, the longer you will be unable to truly understand it."

As Rarity finished speaking, she lowered the hoof that was thrown over Twilight's mouth. The two sat quietly for several minutes, until they noticed that Rainbow Dash was flying toward them. Rarity stood up and began walking toward the rest of the group, who had already finished the snow pony.

"Rarity!" Twilight called after her.

Rarity turned back to look at Twilight, who was already walking towards her. "Hm?"

"Thanks."

"Of course, dear," Rarity said with a smile and a wink, as the two went off to join the rest of their friends.

As they approached their friends and the recently completed snow pony, they noticed that Rainbow Dash had joined them and was talking to Fluttershy.

Rainbow Dash saw Twilight and Rarity heading towards her, and called out to them. "Oh, hey guys! We were just talking about heading over to Sugarcube Corner for some hot chocolate. Wanna come?"

"Oh that sounds absolutely delightful. Let's go!" Rarity responded.

As the six began to direct themselves towards Sugarcube Corner, Twilight began slipping into the profound, voluminous depths of her own mind once more, the words that Rarity spoke repeating themselves in her head over and over again. Am I really in love with Rainbow? Twilight thought to herself. Love had always been a confusing word to her. She had done extensive research on the subject, but her studies had always resulted in inconclusive results. Up until this point, she was vaguely convinced that love was just a coping mechanism.

However, once Rarity spoke that one word, the one word that could change a pony's life forever, things started to make sense to Twilight. All the times her heart would race when Rainbow Dash got close to her. All the pent up nerves that would drive her insane. All the dreams that she had. All the times she caught herself staring at Rainbow Dash's perfect form as the cyan pegasus walked ahead of her this being one of those times. What am I doing? Why can't I get her out of my head?! Twilight violently shook her head trying to snap herself out of the reverie that she had unknowingly slipped into once more.

Before too long, the six had arrived at Sugarcube Corner, their favorite place to go on a chilly day like this. As they entered into the small, yet somehow rather large bakery, the overwhelming aroma of freshly-baked muffins and warm hot chocolate struck each of them. Each of them grabbed their own cup of the steaming, delicious, chocolatey goodness; then they took small, periodic sips, and a symphony of yum's was heard.

Twilight's mind, however, was not focused on the hot chocolate, for she, once again, began to slip into her own secluded world, the loud conversations and bubbling laughter coming from her friends slowly fading away to nothing more than hushed undertones. What do I do? Do I tell her? What if she thinks I'm weird? What if...

Twilight's train of thought was disrupted by the sound of her name, and the sudden realization that everypony was looking directly at her. The problem, however, was the fact that, in her trance, she had been staring wide-eyed at the object of her desire: Rainbow Dash.

"H-huh? Did you say something?" Twilight blurted out.

"You alright there sugarcube? Y'seem a little..." Applejack trailed off, trying to think of a fitting word.

"...Distracted?" Rarity offered.

Applejack turned to look at Rarity, and offered a nod of approval. "Exactly."

"Yeah, uh, everything is just fine. Nothing wrong here," Twilight said with an unconvincing smile.

"Y'sure? You've been staring off at nuthin' all day long. What's the matter?" Applejack said.

"It's nothing, really. Just...princess stuff. That's all," Twilight responded, happy that she didn't represent the element of honesty.

"If you say so..." Applejack trailed off, then starting once again with the previous conversation.

Rainbow Dash, however, was not as convinced as the others. She knew Twilight. She knew that when Twilight zoned out this many times in one day, there was something significant going through the egghead's brain. What's going on with her? Rainbow wondered to herself.

Rainbow decided to do a little bit more prying than Applejack. She slowly started in the direction where Twilight stood. Making sure to keep her voice down, she whispered, "Hey, Twi, can I talk to you for a sec?"

At that moment, that very moment, Twilight felt like a piano had just fallen from the sky above and crushed her. She felt the immense nervous pressure quickly overtake her entire body. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This cannot be happening! Twilight repeated to herself. She felt her limbs become numb, and pretended to give out under her weight. She felt her heart begin to race uncontrollably, causing her mind to go blank. The only words that she could mutter were, "Y-y-yeah. O-of c-course."

The two headed to the opposite side of the room from where the rest of their friends were.

As soon as they were sure that nopony could hear them, Rainbow Dash spoke up. "Why have you been staring at me all day?"

What?!?! She noticed?! Twilight thought to herself, her limbs threatening to betray her at any moment. "W-what do you mean, Rainbow?"

"Come on, Twi. You're the one who showed me how I learn. You know that I notice everything when I'm flying. That's how I noticed that you watched me almost the entire time I was clearing out those clouds."

Twilight's face instantly turned a bright shade of crimson at the realization. She averted her eyes, directing them towards anything that wasn't Rainbow Dash. "Oh," was all that Twilight could mutter.

Rainbow placed her right forehoof under Twilight's chin, and lifted her head to match her eye level. "What's going on, Twi? Talk to me." She said with a rather concerned tone in her voice.

As soon as Twilight's eyes met Rainbow Dash's, a war sprung out in her mind. She battled between running away, or facing her desires. Love is not a matter of science or math. The words ran through her mind like a tornado, clearing away all her extraneous thoughts. ...the longer you will be unable to understand it.

Those words struck her harder than anything she had felt before. For just one split second, she had no thoughts, no worries. The only thing that she could see was the object of her desire standing directly in front of her, eyes locked on hers.

And then, it happened.

Twilight sprang forward and pressed her lips against Rainbow's. Twilight could feel how dry and cracked Rainbow's lips were, no doubt caused by flying at high speeds in the cold winter air. She could smell the condensation that remained on Rainbow's cyan coat from busting clouds. Then, just as quickly as it began, it was over. Rainbow pulled away from the kiss, and adorned a very confused face.

"What was that all about?" Rainbow questioned.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry Rainbow! I-it's just, w-when...I-I like..." Twilight sported a look equivalent to a deer in headlights. "I'm really sorry!" Twilight turned to run out the door, tears blurring her vision. Before she could reach the door, however, a rainbow blur appeared in front of her.

Before Twilight had a chance to say anything, her mouth was forced shut by another pair of lips. Those same lips that she had kissed just seconds ago. The same dewy smell, the same dry, cracked lips. Twilight was the first to pull away this time, a dumbfounded look upon her face.

Rainbow noticed the look upon Twilight's face, and let out a giggle. "I like you too, egghead."

Author's Note:

First of all, big thanks go out to all of you wonderful people - the readers!!! I only recently discovered how much I enjoy writing, so this is all still fairly unexplored territory for me.

Please, most writers appreciate constructive criticism. If you notice something that could be better, be sure to let me know in the comments section. I can only grow as a writer if I know what to improve! :pinkiehappy:

Comments ( 24 )

yay time to read :twilightsmile:

Great job with the story i personly loved it :heart: :twilightsheepish: and d'aww i loved the ending :twilightsmile:

The second chapter is so cute and sweet. Especially the ending. My smile widened as I read it. Beautiful.

L

Bit to fast. But interesting

I'm really liking the story so far. The pacing seems decent and so far everyone seems to be in character. However, I WOULD recommend that you change the status of your story to 'ongoing' instead of 'completed'. It gives new readers the wrong message. Unless, of course, this story IS completed. Which would be a shame. I want to see more. :(

5581555 I was going to leave the story there, but if enough people want more, I might consider it. I'm working on another story right now, so it would be a while.

Thanks for the comment by the way! :twilightsmile:

No breaks on the TwiDash train!
:rainbowkiss::heart::twilightsmile:

:heart: Liked and faved!

5583261

This train stops for no one!!! Except Twilight and Rainbow, of course. :pinkiehappy:

5584650

Thanks :twilightsmile: I'm glad you liked it!!!

Awwwwww, this is soooo sweeeeeet! I love the idea that Twilight falls in love with Dash. Sequel pleaseeeeeeeee:rainbowkiss:

"B-But love isn't real! I-It's nothing more than hormones and pheromones that cause the brain to be attracted to anoth " Twilight was once again cut off by Rarity's hoof.

I absolutely hate this line, Twilight was foalsat be Cadance, the alicorn of love, her sister in law is the alicorn of love, Twilight has seen Cadance use the magic of love, you can not have her saying love isn't real because it makes her seem like an idiot, you don't have to change I just think this is something twilight wouldn't say in ever, it just make's her sound stupid.

Now you could say that Twilight doesn't understand love because it doesn't make any sense, that there's no logic to it, and the have Rarity, tell her that when it comes to love, logic doesn't make sense

Another thing that seems off is how short it is, as it currently is it feels incomplete, with barely anything for an ending, it just seems to end so abruptly, it's not bad but it could be a lot better, keep practicing and you will continue to get better at writing.

5604284 I will keep that in mind with my next story, thank you for the suggestion :twilightsmile:
I also noticed you managed to slip your "catch phrase" or whatever you choose to call it in there :rainbowlaugh:

The Cadance part of that is completely true. It was something that I hadn't considered, and it is an interesting point for sure. I might have to give that some thought. Thanks for that!

5604923 actually the quote from my bio I put there after making that comment, I liked how it sounded.

5604933 Hahaha well I like it :pinkiehappy:

Uh, why is this rated teen? There's nothing in here that would require anything more than the lowest rating.

5623647 In all honesty, I wasn't quite sure what to rate it, so I rated it based off of some similar TwiDash fics that I found, and the majority of them were rated teen :twilightsheepish:

Cute!!!

One small issue

As soon as Twilight's eyes met Rainbow Dash's, a war sprung out in her mind. She battled between running away, or facing her desires. Love is not a matter of science or math. The words ran through her mind like a tornado, clearing away all her extraneous thoughts. ...the longer you will be unable to understand it.

This seemed wrong somehow. "Love is not a matter of science or math ...the longer you will be unable to understand it"?

Did you mean "Love is not a matter of science or math ...the longer you treat it as such, the longer you will be unable to understand it"?

5654060 Thanks :) It just hit 100 likes so I'm rather happy :)

As far as that goes, what you are thinking is exactly correct. When Rarity first told Twilight that, what you mentioned was basically what she said. However, at the point in the story that you are referring to, Twilight is just remembering the line, hence why it isn't a complete thought there. I could have completed the entire line there, but what I was going for was focusing on that particular part of the line. It was more of a creative decision there more than anything.

I appreciate the comment! Keep being awesome!!!! :twilightsmile:

5654729

I knew it seemed familiar lol.

I don't know why I didn't place that line from earlier.

Gratz on the 100 likes though! That's quite the achievement. (I'm lucky to get 1 like for every 10 views myself lol)

Hmm... I would say the pacing was a bit off, as the beginning had no hints whatsoever at the romance (at least, none that were eye-catching enough for me to see), and then it all came in as a rush. Due to being a short story, you probably can't really expound the backstory much, but perhaps Twilight's experience with this "love" could be described in more details (surely, as a very studious scientist, she could have started obsessed with this abnormality in her feelings).

Along with the whole pacing issue, I think the romance scene was way too short. It came and went, and was kind of just, "Woah! That just happened!" It doesn't leave enough time for the reader to feel the scene all the way through. Perhaps some may find it enough to have just a half-minute scene like that, but... I think more would have been better, in this case.

If you were to write a longer story, you would also need to include a lot of tension — the parts were Twilight was struggling with this part of herself, struggling with this one fact that could completely change her life around. She would have thought through a lot of this, and as time went on, her thoughts would evolve. Would she perhaps come to accept this? Would she start to hatch plans to catch Rainbow's attention? Would she become hopeless? Would she just be confused? There are a lot of ways to develop her character (and have that character come into contact with others, further changing her), and some of them can have people gripping the edges of their seats in anticipation. But that's all for a bit longer stories, as it all has to build up. On the other hand, the build-up can be very much worth it. :raritywink:

Otherwise, it was a pretty nice story. :twilightsmile: TwiDash is awesome, rock on!

Not sure what to make of this.

On on hand, the grammar and sentence structure and such was done well, there were no major glaring errors in that department to speak of.

However, when it comes to the story itself, it felt kinda rushed. For one thing, there seems to be a lack of continuity here with Twilight's feelings for Rainbow. One would assume such a thing would be foreshadowed or hinted at earlier on, but there was zero sign of this during Twilight's first encounter with Dash. I understand that her mind might have been on a different thought, given the snowfall, but to show no hints of Twilight's feelings for Dash here makes me think that she basically got this idea of a crush for Dash only hours before kissing her. This in general applied to the romance aspect itself, which seemed to come out of left field. The whole first chapter gives nothing to make the reader think they are reading a romance story, let alone a Twidash story.

That being said, there's nothing wrong with a fluffy romance story, even a short one like this. But even with those type of stories, the main direction is usually the romance, with some kind of plot device as an afterthought, or aiding in the romance itself.

My other qualm comes with the snowstorm idea. For something the entire story was written around, we never did get an ending or resolve to this, which doesn't sit well with me as a reader. In this case, I almost think that there was no reason for the snowstorm if there wasn't going to be a logical conclusion for it. What I would have done is maybe add a little more about how the snow started to melt, or something else of the sort. Abandoning the main story just made it seem insignificant, which I assume you weren't trying to do, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt there.

For a first story though this was very solid work overall. Don't take anything I said too hard though, they were just some astute observations I took. The things I mentioned with become easier to see with practice.

Good luck! :twilightsmile:

DJRD

"B-But love isn't real! I-It's nothing more than hormones and pheromones that cause the brain to be attracted to anoth " Twilight was once again cut off by Rarity's hoof.

"Twilight," Rarity said with a sigh and a downward glance, keeping her hoof in place over Twilight's mouth, "You are the most intelligent pony that I know. And that's wonderful, it truly is. But love is not a thing of science or math. Love is a matter of the heart. And the longer you try to explain it through means of logic, the longer you will be unable to truly understand it."

Ugh, Twilight. That is the most terrible excuse bad science has ever produced.

"Love", like happiness, anger, pity, and sadness, is an emotion. Emotions are, quite simply, the interactions of chemicals and electrical signals in the body (not solely the brain). Ergo, they exist--the reactions happen, which causes the changes in our thoughts that become the mental aspect of emotion.
"Love", like friendship, family, and government, is a social construct. It is a way of assigning rules and values to other beings and our interactions with them that allow us to function as a society. They do not physically exist--they are "only" words. If you say that the government isn't real, though, I believe you will have a long, uncomfortable conversation with Princess Celestia in the future. If you say that friendship isn't real, I... well, there's something seriously wrong.

The fact that something is not a physical object does not mean that it is not real.

"B-But love isn't real! I-It's nothing more than hormones and pheromones that cause the brain to be attracted to anoth " Twilight was once again cut off by Rarity's hoof.

Yes! Thank you!

"Twilight," Rarity said with a sigh and a downward glance, keeping her hoof in place over Twilight's mouth, "You are the most intelligent pony that I know. And that's wonderful, it truly is. But love is not a thing of science or math. Love is a matter of the heart. And the longer you try to explain it through means of logic, the longer you will be unable to truly understand it."

Celestia damn it, Rarity! Stop ruining the moment!

Take this derp!:derpytongue2:

Oh! And a like as well as a fav!

Sweet but I think the two chapters could've been made into one.

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