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Chapter 24,783 words

Chapter 2

Jacob sat on the bed in the hotel room he and Rebecca shared and looked over a bunch of papers. One had all the signatures they had collected while another had some very rough projections and even more had more details that Jacob didn’t really understand. There were some noises from the bathroom to his right and Rebecca walked out.

“Good morning,” she said with a yawn.

“Morning, did you sleep well?” Jacob asked.

“Mhmm, but most of the ice melted during the night.” Jacob could see small beads of condensation on Rebecca’s skin as he got up and looked into the bathroom. Rebecca, like any half decent bottle of soda, preferred to sleep in a nice cold place. Unfortunately they lacked a large enough refrigerator so they had to improvise with a bathtub and a whole bunch of ice.

“Well don’t worry about it, we’ll get some more ice later,” Jacob said and drained the tub of the cold water. “I’m going to take a quick shower. There’s some coke in the fridge if you want one.”

“Ok,” Rebecca replied just as the door closed. She took one of the bottles out of the fridge and sat on the bed to look at the papers. After a few seconds of staring at the paper and casually sipping her drink, Rebecca came across the revelation that she had no idea what the papers meant. With that bit of worry out of her head she focused on the drink. When Jacob was done with the shower he joined Rebecca on the bed and continued to scan them.

“So what do all these mean?” Rebecca asked pointing to the papers.

“Well, these are all the signatures we got over the past few days as well as some rough projections to how well Coca-Cola will sell, at least for here,” Jacob explained.

“Here?”

“Yeah, as I heard it, we can’t really get an accurate market deal with just one city. We have to go all around to different cities to see what would sell well.”

“You mean we get to stay here longer? That’s great!” Rebecca said and hugged Jacob, who smiled lightly and patted her on the back. After a second she pulled away and asked, “So where are we going next?”

“You tell me,” Jacob said and placed a piece of paper with a bunch of city names in front of her. “Like I said, this is your gig. I’m just here to keep you focused and the like.”

“Oh, well ok,” Rebecca said with a hint of nervousness and picked up the paper, “So… where are the cities?”

“I think they gave us a map, and even if they didn’t maps aren’t hard to find. If I remember correctly the closest cities are Fillydelphia,” Jacob shuddered at the name, “and Ponyville, which I’ve been told is the worst place to go to right now since it’s been crowded for that past month or so.”

“Ponyville sounds like a nice place,” Rebecca said.

“Weren’t you listening? I said-“

“That settles it, we’re going to Ponyville!” Rebecca said with a dramatic flair. Jacob could only sigh into his hooves.

“Come on slow poke, I’m gonna go flat by the time we get there,” Rebecca said in a half joking manner.

“Hold your horses, I’m not used to pulling wagons,” Jacob said and motioned to the wagon he was pulling, filled with all kinds of soda and soda based accessories, “And why am I the only one pulling this thing?”

“Because I’m not strong enough,” Rebecca said and lowered onto the ground with a sad, wide eyed look, “My poor little glass body just can’t handle the strain.”

“You have no problem with what you are, but you’re able to exploit it whenever you want. I wish I could figure that kind of thing out.” Jacob shook his legs out a little before continuing down the road, Rebecca bouncing happily in front of him. He made an effort to practice flapping his wings since he had to figure out how to do that eventually. Rebecca had to stop after a few minute to cough up some foam and when she was done with that she pointed behind them.

“Hey, there’s somepony coming up to us!” she said. Jacob unhitched himself to see who it was and was taken aback a little at the dark blue cart.

“Hey!” Jacob called out and the unicorn pulling the cart stopped once she was next to them. “You’re… Emma, right? We met a couple days back?”

“Oh yeah, you were the one with the Coke pony,” Emma replied.

“Excuse me, my name’s Rebecca,” Rebecca said annoyed.

“That’s nice dear,” Emma said. Jacob caught sight of Caleb poking his head out from the cart to look at them. “So, you’re on your way to Ponyville too?”

“Yep, her idea,” Jacob said jerking his head to Rebecca, “It’s going to suck once we get there.”

“Well we might get lucky, there’s only one way to find out. If Rebecca needs to she can stay in our refrigerator.”

“I’ll be fine,” Rebecca said and moved to the back of Jacob’s cart, “but thanks for the offer.” Emma gave a short laugh as Rebecca climbed onto the cart, which pulled forward a few seconds later.

It was still a ways to Ponyville.

“So, what all do you have?” Jacob asked Emma.

“Why?” Emma replied.

“I’m just curious.” Jacob looked back at Rebecca who was happily downing a bottle of soda.

“Eh, the standard fare: regular, diet, cherry, even some old stuff like Crystal Pepsi and-”

“No way, you have Crystal Pepsi back there?!”

“Well, yeah.”

“How much for a bottle?”

“You traitor!” Rebecca called from the back.

“It’s t-three bits per bottle,” Caleb said.

“Cool, I always wanted to try some.” The conversation died between them and they continued walking down the road. Rebecca and Caleb regularly looked at each other curiously.”

“So, y-your name’s R-Rebecca, right?” Caleb asked.

“Yes, it is. Why do you ask?” Rebecca replied. Caleb jerked and sank down into the cart.

“I was j-just curious.”

“Is he always this shy?” Jacob asked.

“Not really, he’s really talkative when he wants to be,” Emma said and laughed, “You should have seen him last night. He went on a tangent for half an hour on how certain flavors of Pepsi would be better if things were done differently.”

“It wasn’t a tangent,” Caleb whispered. That was the last piece of conversation until Ponyville came into sight. And what a sight it was.

“See Rebecca, this is why I didn’t want to go here,” Jacob said and motioned to the near one thousand tents set up in the field surrounding Ponyville. Both of the soda ponies were entranced at the sight, letting out quiet ‘wows.’

“There’s so many of them,” Rebecca said, “but why are they around this town in particular?”

“I only have a base knowledge of the show, but I do know that this town is usually where the show takes place,” Jacob answered.

“It’s more or less the biggest place that fans of the show can go,” Emma said and swept a hoof over the landscape, “and boy do they come.”

“Don’t they have j-jobs?” Caleb asked.

“This is probably just vacation for them and really I’m not one to judge,” Jacob said and started pulling the cart again with Emma following slightly behind.

“So where are we staying Uncle Jacob?” Rebecca asked once they parted ways with Emma and Caleb.

“Before we worry about that, we have to find a good place to set up and we might have to check in with the mayor of this town,” Jacob said and flew up a couple of feet to look over the crowd in front of him, “Oh man, this place is crowded. I can only imagine how the residents feel about this.”

“Mhmm… so where are we staying?”

“*sigh* some hotel somewhere. Hey, can you be a dear and go look for a good place to set all this up?”

“Ok, I’ll go do that,” Rebecca said and hopped off of the cart. She made it a good way through the crowd until she found herself in some kind of market. “This looks like a good place, but I wonder if there are any empty spaces?” While wondering this Rebecca got distracted by some kind of commotion at a nearby stand.

“Now hold on fellas, yer gonna have to wait in line so I can get to all of ya,” the vendor said. Somehow that quelled the crowd around the stand into a near silence.

“Now that’s a true salespony, I can only hope to reach her level of skill someday,” Rebecca whispered and could have sworn she felt tears starting to form. She shook her head a little and continued to search for a spot. While doing so Rebecca felt the piercing stares of ponies around her and could only give a nervous smile in response. Of course, there was one set of eyes that really stuck with her.

“Um, hi Rebecca.” Rebecca recognized the voice and looked back at Caleb.

“Hi… what are you doing here?” Rebecca asked as Caleb walked up to her.

“Oh, I’m looking for a spot to put our stand tomorrow. And you?”

“More or less the same thing.” The silence between the two became overbearing as Rebecca stared at Caleb who had his eyes cast down to the ground. “Well, good luck with that. I still have work to do.”

“MAYBEWECANLOOKFORASPOTTOGETER!” Caleb suddenly burst out, stopping Rebecca in her tracks.

“W-what?”

“Well, you know, if you want to,” Caleb said and scratched the ground. Rebecca stared at him for a moment before sighing and looking back in front of her.

“Whatever, but no stealing the spot I choose ok?” Rebecca said.

“That’s fine,” Caleb answered and trotted to catch up to Rebecca.

‘Ugh, that took too long. At least the mayor was understanding of what we’re doing.’

Jacob quietly sighed at the thought, but he was glad that it wasn’t nearly as exhausting as he thought it would be. After pushing through untold numbers of ponies, he finally made it to the hotel. He unhitched himself from the cart and walked inside the hotel. The lobby wasn’t as crowded as he thought so he could get a room with little hassle. He picked up the key, once again thankful for figuring out how to use hooves, just as Rebecca came hopping in.

“Hi Uncle Jacob!” she said and continued trotting happily around Jacob.

“Hi Rebecca, you seem happy.”

“Of course I am! I found a perfect spot for us, but there’s one problem.”

“Tell me about it when we get to the room, I’m beat.” Jacob led the way up the stairs and down one of the hallways. Once they got to their rooms Jacob flopped onto one of the beds. “Ugh, bronies, they’re like locusts. They just pop up out of nowhere.”

“Since Equestria actually exists, do you think they could start a political party or religion?” Rebecca asked.

“Oh god no, please don’t give them ideas,” Jacob said pulling a pillow over his head.

“I was just speculating. Do you have a problem with bronies?”

“No not really, I just don’t like crowds. And there are just hundreds of them out there; it took me an hour to walk down a street.”

“I think they’re charming in their own strange way.” Rebecca opened the bathroom door and looked around it, “We’re going to need ice for me later.”

“We’ll worry about that later. So what is that problem with that spot?”

“Well…”

“Pepsi is right across from us.”

And indeed they were. Though a weird (not to mention ironically humorous) twist of fate, Rebecca had secured a spot across the street from Caleb. At the moment both teams were setting up for the day.

“Well at least I won’t have to walk far to get some Crystal Pepsi,” Jacob said.

“You traitor,” Rebecca whispered.

“How does that make me a traitor? I’m allowed to like different sodas.”

“I just don’t get it. What is your favorite soda anyway?”

“I don’t really have an overall favorite, but I guess I like different flavors of soda.”

“That’s what I just asked.”

“No no, I meant like how Coke has different flavors. I like certain flavors over others, like how I really liked it when Coke Vanilla was out.”

“Well we have some right here.” Rebecca sat down and Jacob followed.

“I just meant it as an example.”

“So, why do you want Crystal Pepsi so much?” Rebecca asked setting out samples.

“It’s kind of a novelty thing. Crystal Pepsi was only on the market for about a year, so whatever bottles you can find on the internet go for ridiculously high prices. The fact that I can get my…” Jacob looked down at his hooves for a second, “…hooves on some of that is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“I just don’t get it.”

“Oh just drink your Coke and leave me and my drink choices alone.” With that the conversation came to a brief end and at the right time too since the crowd had just started picking up. Once that started, the day turned into a busy hassle full of explanations, selling, and taste tests all around. Every time they looked over they could see that Caleb and Emma were in much the same predicament.

“Thank you for your business,” Rebecca said. The pony nodded and walked away with his newly acquired six pack of Coke and Rebecca turned to Jacob. “So, how are we doing?”

“At this rate, we will run out of stock in… ten minutes,” Jacob answered.

“What, really?” Rebecca sank into her seat with a sad sigh, “Which means we won’t be able to work for the rest of the day. That sucks.”

“Yeah, god forbid that we run out of work due to lack of stock.”

“Exactly!” Any further moping was stopped when a large cheer resounded though the crowd.

“Argh, my ears!” Jacob yelled and held his hooves over his ears, “What is going on?” Rebecca jumped on top of the table, sparing a glance to see Caleb did the same, and looked out above the crowd. The crowd was dividing as something came closer.

“Somepony’s coming this way. Do you… oh my,” Rebecca said and jumped back into her seat and patted down her mane. “Do you think it’s the princess’? How does my mane look? Is my soda fizzing?”

“Your soda’s always fizzing and your mane’s fine, but I don’t think it’s them. From what I heard, they’re taller than the average pony so I could probably see them from here. Its somepony else.” Jacob blinked a couple of times at what he said. “I just said ‘somepony’. I’m getting too used to this.”

“Well if it’s not the princess’, who is it?” That question was answered once the crowd parted fully to reveal six mares. “No way!”

“Is that them?!” Caleb yelled.

“Who?” Jacob asked. The six mares stopped in the between the tables and looked around at the crowd. One of the two pegasi in the group really seemed to be enjoying the attention, performing small aerial tricks for the crowd. The purple unicorn scrapped a hoof against the ground.

“Um, hi everypony,” she said. A second passed before the crowd sheered loudly.

“For god’s sake, don’t aggravate them!” Jacob yelled holding his ears as his wings flared up.

“I’m sorry, I’m still new to this!” the unicorn yelled over the crowd, which seemed to keep going until…

“Everypony shut up!” the pegasus yelled, which caused the crowd to immediately stop. “Thank you,” she said and landed next to the unicorn, “So what’s going on here?” Jacob lifted an ear and sighed in relief, not noticing Rebecca taking out a glass Coca-Cola bottle and opening it.

“Well, we’re doing market tests for Coca-Cola, a soft drink from Earth,” Jacob explained to the mares as Rebecca finished the glass and let out a satisfied sigh. “So uh, would you like to-“

Right then, for reasons unknown, Rebecca chose this moment to smash the bottle over Jacob’s head, who fell back clutching his head with a yelp of pain.

“Don’t mind him, he’s my assistant and he gets a little talky,” Rebecca said to the group of surprised mares, “Anyway, would you like to try Coca-Cola?”

“OBJECTION!” Everypony turned to the Pepsi table, where Caleb was dramatically pointing a hoof at Rebecca. “How do you know they would like to try that?”

“Well they walked over to us… it was natural to assume they would.”

“I’ll have to point out that our tables are at least 15 feet apart, they’re right in the middle of us, and they asked a general question. Your handler just answered first.”

Jacob stood up rubbing his head as Rebecca continued. “All valid points, but there’s nothing stopping them from coming over to us. And your attempt at logical subterfuge is very-“ Jacob stopped Rebecca by turning her head to him and flicking her nose.

“And what in the hell was that for?” he asked.

“H-huh?” Rebecca asked holding her snout.

“Why did you break a bottle over my head?” Everypony, Caleb especially, was thrown off by this sudden derail.

“Um… heat of the moment?” Rebecca answered with her most innocent smile, though Jacob was having none of it and flicked her on the nose again.

“I could have gotten seriously hurt. If you do that again, I won’t make you those brownies I told you about.”

“What?!” Rebecca shouted and grabbed Jacob’s shoulders. “I’m sorry, it was a rash act and I shouldn’t have done that, just please don’t take away those brownies!”

“Brownies?” the white unicorn in the group asked.

“Yeah, I found a recipe for Coca-Cola brownies on the interblag, and she of course freaked out once she found out,” Jacob explained and looked at her flatly as she hugged him, “although after this little stunt, I don’t know about those brownies.”

“I’m so-o-orry, I didn’t mean it,” Rebecca cried.

“You can make brownies from soda?” Caleb asked and looked at Emma with an excited look.

“If you’re good, we’ll see,” Emma answered and Caleb cheered.

“See, they’re making brownies!” Rebecca said.

“I don’t know…” Jacob said.

“Please!” Rebecca said and it actually seemed like she was crying. More out of curiosity than anything, Jacob touched one of the tears and licked it.

“You even cry Coke?” Jacob asked, “That’s… actually not as surprising as it should be.”

“Plea-a-ase.”

“Well… if you’re a good girl and don’t break any more bottles over my head, I might change my mind.”

“I won’t do it again! I promise!”

“Like I said, we’ll see. Now weren’t you doing something?”

“Oh, that’s right!” Rebecca immediately shot into serious mode and stared at Caleb, “What were we talking about again?”

“We were debating over whether they should try your product or ours,” Caleb answered.

“Oh, right.” Rebecca slammed a hoof on the table and gave a powerful stare at Caleb. “So…where was I?”

“Your attempt at logical subterfuge was…”

“Oh, thank you.” Rebecca slammed the table again and said, “Your attempt at logical subterfuge is incredibly laughable!”

“Oh really? And how do you suppose your logic is better?”

“Oh I can,” Rebecca said pulling out a chart stand out of nowhere, “in this thirty seven point chart as to why Coca-Cola is better than Pepsi.”

“Well that’s a coincidence, because I have a thirty eight point chart stating the opposite,” Caleb said also pulling out a chart from nowhere.

“Oh, you’re good. I’m sure this will be a battle for the ages.” Jacob took this time to step away from the table unnoticed, Emma doing the same at her table, and quietly walked to the group in the middle.

“I am so totally lost right now, and I think I like it,” the pink mare said.

“Ah have ta agree, what exactly is going on here?” the orange pony in the group asked.

“Psst, you want my opinion?” Jacob said once he got to the group. “They look like they could go on for hours, so why don’t you buy a bottle from both tables?”

“Huh?” the blue pegasus asked.

“I have to agree,” Emma said, “That’s really the best outcome to this situation.”

“What?” the purple unicorn asked.

“That way, you can decide what soda you like better when you want and we won’t get torn apart by fan ponies because you chose one soda over another. It’s a win-win for everyone,” Jacob said.

“We really have no idea what you’re talking about,” the white unicorn said.

“A customer!” Everypony looked at the tables and saw a yellow pegasus at the Coke table and the pink mare at the Pepsi table.

“I’ll take six of the regular please,” they both said.

“Great, that’ll be twelve bits,” Rebecca and Caleb said to their respective customers.

“Jeez, I didn’t realize how similar they are,” Jacob commented.

“Out of curiosity, does she do what Caleb always does and put soda in everything she eats?” Emma asked.

“Oh yeah, she can hardly go a day without doing that.”

“I um, got some soda for us, if that’s alright,” the yellow pegasus said to the group.

“Weird, so did I,” the pink mare said, “that was good thinking. Let’s go try it!” The pink mare showed a lack of concern for physics by grabbing the whole group of mares and taking off through the crowd.

“Thanks for your business,” Caleb and Rebecca called to the group of mares before shooting a look at each other.

“Who were they anyway?” Jacob asked.

“Those were the main characters of the show. I guess you can say they’re pretty big celebrities for Earth tourists,” Emma explained.

“Wait, celebrities? Oh crap.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re celebrities, and they just bought something from us.” Jacob looked around at the crowd, “And what are your thoughts on how many fans of that show are here right now?” The implications hit Emma just then and her eyes widened in shock.

“Oh crap.”

“Ah, what a great day of working,” Rebecca said and stretched a little. A glance at the quivering wreck of a pony on the bed dragged that mood down a little.

“’Locusts’ doesn’t even begin to describe them. They were everywhere, staring at me, touching me with their hooves,” Jacob muttered to himself and shivered, “There was just so many.”

“Aw, don’t worry Uncle Jacob, you’ll get over it,” Rebecca said patting Jacob’s side.

“This job’s going to make me agoraphobic. Please, no more celebrity customers.” The knock on the hotel door drew Rebecca’s attention. She quickly peeked out of the door and saw Caleb.

“What are you doing here?” Rebecca asked.

“Oh, I-I heard that your handler isn’t doing t-to well,” Caleb said, “I just wanted to see how h-he was doing.”

“He’s doing fine, the crowds just got to him a little,” Rebecca said and flinched just a little at one of Jacob’s fairly loud screams. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Well… we’re staying here.”

“What?”

“We’re um… just down the hall too,” Caleb said pointing down the hall.

‘Are you serious?! Why exactly is it you’re staying here? Is this some kind of spying attempt?’ Rebecca thought.

“So um, your handler said he wanted some Crystal Pepsi so I-“ Rebecca found herself knocked out of the way very suddenly.

“Did someone say Crystal Pepsi?!” Jacob said excitedly.

“Um, y-yes?” Caleb said nervously.

“You got over that quickly,” Rebecca commented and stood up carefully checking her body for any cracks.

“Oh, I’ll go back to the bed when I finish with this negotiation, but right now this is important. How much do you have?” Caleb took a couple of steps back when Jacob’s wings subconsciously flared.

“Oh um, we have-“

“I know we went over this, but why are you making such a big deal about this again?” Rebecca asked.

“I’m glad you asked!” Caleb said excitedly, “You see, back in the 1980’s-“

“I don’t want a full history,” Rebecca said, “Just give me the cliff notes.”

With a sigh, Caleb said, “Fine. As I was saying, in the 1980’s Pepsi and Coca-Cola were still going head to head in the soda market. It was around then that Pepsi released Crystal Pepsi. It was unfortunately discontinued a year later.”

“They tried to bring it back several times from what I heard, but it’s only in recent years that it started getting some kind of cult following,” Jacob added. “Whenever bottles of Crystal Pepsi show up on Ebay they usually go for at least a hundred dollars.”

“For a bottle of thirty year old soda?” Rebecca asked.

“Mhmm, and with the new market in Equestria, Pepsi decided to make it for a limited time to see if it’ll sell well here. And by sales figures alone it does look like that’s the case. We only have maybe a dozen bottles left and that’s only because I saved them.”

“I’ll take ALL OF THEM!” Jacob yelled.

“H-huh? A-are you sure?” Caleb asked and Jacob nodded. “O-ok, let me go get them,” he said slowly backing up to his room. Once he disappeared into the room Rebecca grabbed Jacob’s shoulders.

“What are you doing?! Do you have the brain worms?” she asked.

“I was buying soda and I didn’t know you’ve seen that show,” Jacob answered.

“You’re buying soda from Pepsi! How do you know they didn’t poison it?”

“You’re asking if they poisoned a bunch of random soda bottles on the off chance that I wanted to get some? You need to calm down a little Rebecca, they’re not James Bond villains.”

“You don’t know that!” The door to Caleb’s room opened and he walked out carrying a bag in his mouth. He set it in front of Jacob and scratched at the ground a little.

“Well, here you are. T-that’ll be-“

“I’ll get your money in a second, first I gotta hide these. You two just chat while I’m doing that,” Jacob interrupted, picked up the bag, and closed the door.

“Wha- hey!” Rebecca said and tried to open the door. When that didn’t work she sighed and looked at Caleb.

“This was a busy day today, wasn’t it?” he said quietly.

“Yeah, we sold a lot of soda today. We’re probably going to have to wait for more before we can sell again. I assume that’s the same for you?” Rebecca asked.

“Oh, y-yes. Um… does that mean you’re… free tomorrow?”

“Huh?”

“N-nothing, forget I asked.” Any further awkward conversation was stopped when Jacob opened the door with a tiny bag in his mouth.

“Here you go,” he said and gave the bag to Caleb, “And Rebecca here is free tomorrow.”

“What?!”

“You need to spend time with someone other than me. I worry about you sometimes.”

“But why him?” Rebecca asked.

“Why not?”

“He’s made out of Pepsi!”

“You’re made out of Coke, which means your both soda. Really, I see no problem here.”

“But… why?”

“Eh,” Jacob shrugged. Rebecca opened and closed her mouth, searching desperately for something, and groaned in frustration when she couldn’t think of anything.

“Argh, I can’t argue with that! I’m taking a cold bath.” Rebecca pushed past Jacob and closed the bathroom door.

“For the record, you were trying to ask her out right?” Jacob asked Caleb.

“I- I wouldn’t call it that,” Caleb answered.

“Ah don’t worry, mum’s the word and all that. Good night.” Jacob closed the door.

“G-good night.”

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