L'amore è femmina (Out of Love)

by Ospero

Vida minha

Ponyville General Hospital, 4th November, 9.30 a.m.

The blackness slowly faded.

Gilda saw that she was lying in a hospital bed. Every muscle in her body throbbed with a dull ache, and she realized she had no idea what had happened after she'd blacked out at Rainbow Dash's door.

Just my luck. I manage that entire night flight easily and then break down right at the most important time.

She became aware of a soft snoring somewhere close by. She tried to turn her head, only to have a wave of fresh pain shoot up the right side of her neck, causing her to gasp involuntarily.

The snoring stopped abruptly, replaced by confused mutterings. “Just five more minutes, mum...“

Even this quietly, the voice was unmistakeable. Gilda tried to turn her head again, more slowly this time. Her eyes met those of the mare who seemed to have fallen asleep on the chair next to her bed. Purple eyes, as the griffon had expected.

“Hey, G.“ Gilda had never heard Rainbow Dash speak this softly, as if scared to wake somepony.

“Hey,“ the griffon croaked in reply, only now realizing how parched her throat was. She reached for the water bottle on the nightstand and drained it in one gulp.

“How are you feeling?“

The innocent question hung in the air for a moment as Gilda tried to find an honest answer. “I'll live. What happened, anyway?“

“You woke me at five in the morning, and when I went out, you had collapsed.“ Rainbow Dash seemed to think for a moment. “You apologized to me for what you did last time, then you fell unconscious again.“

Oh Great Lords of Virtue, forgive me, Gilda thought. She had actually committed one of the Three Deadly Sins?

Rainbow Dash looked at her in alarm, obviously realizing the effect her last sentence had had on Gilda. “What's wrong, G?“

“I...“ Gilda hesitated. “Do you remember what I told you about the three Boldfeather laws?“

“Sure. Don't fear, don't hesitate, and don't ...“ The pegasus' eyes widened as she realized what Gilda was trying to say. “And don't regret.“

Gilda hung her head. “What have you made me, RD? What have I become, living among you grass-eaters for so long?“ She had wanted it to sound angry, but it came out sad.

“You are who you are, Gilda.“ The use of her full name made the griffon raise her head again. Rainbow Dash was smiling. “So what if we've rubbed off on you a little? I could say the same, you know. I live by that Boldfeather creed.“

Gilda hissed. “So you think you make a better griffon than me, is that it?“

“Oh, for Celestia's sake, why does it always go like this between us?“ Rainbow Dash threw a hoof in the air in a gesture of exasperation. “Why do you have to twist everything I say or do?“

“I didn't...“ Gilda broke off as she suddenly remembered why she had come to Ponyville in the first place. She was glad that she was already flushed with anger, for the blood now rising to her face had nothing to do with rage.

The pegasus looked at her for a moment, then her brow knitted in confusion. “What's really going on here, G? Why are you here?“

Gilda felt a sudden surge of fight-or-flight instinct well up inside her. No, you don't, so-called Boldfeather. You need to do this. She swallowed and looked Rainbow Dash directly in the eyes. “I came her because I had unfinished business in this town. Stuff that's been dragging me down for seven years now.“

As the griffon tried to lose herself in the purple depths, as she'd done so often back at the camp, she suddenly seemed to hit a wall. The spark wasn't there anymore. Gilda had known that, or at least sensed it, but now that she was face-to-face with the former object of her affection, it felt like she'd lost something very important. Tears came to her eyes, and Rainbow Dash reached out for her with a forehoof.

“Whatever it is, Gilda, we can solve this. Together. Like old times.“

“No, RD. That's precisely why I've come here.“ Gilda turned her head away, unable to hold back the tears. “I finally want to live my own life, escape your shadow.“

“My shadow? What the hay do you mean?“ Rainbow Dash sounded confused, almost hurt.

Gilda mustered up her courage and looked at the pegasus. “You've hung over my life since we met, RD, like a cloud that wouldn't go away. I used to think I could make it work somehow, even though I'm a griffon and you're a pegasus. Then, after I first came here and insulted your friends, the cloud became an anchor, dragging on me.“ Rainbow Dash's eyes widened, but the griffon carried on. “I used to imagine what this moment would be like. It had to be cool, not sappy, obviously, but I never found the courage to tell you. And now it's too late.“

The pegasus stared at Gilda as if seeing her for the first time. “Do you … did you …?“

“Yes.“ Gilda closed her eyes, wishing as far away from here as possible, yet still continuing. “I loved you, Rainbow Dash. The Lords forgive me, I fell for you the very second I saw you. It was awkward and impossible, so I hid it the only way I could, by being even more of a braggart and a fool.“ The griffon managed to force her eyes open just a tiny bit, wishing she hadn't done so the instant she saw Dash's face. Tears were streaming down the pegasus' cheeks.

“Then why do you say it's too late?“ Rainbow Dash whispered.

“Don't try to confuse me, nag,“ Gilda spat, instinctively putting her facade back up. “I know you never loved me, and I just now realized that I'm over you as well. I like you, and you look fantastic, but the spark has gone out.“

Rainbow Dash stretched out a hoof and touched Gilda lightly on the cheek. “Why do you say that like it's a good thing?“

That question pierced all the defenses the griffon had built up over the years, going straight for her heart. The next thing she knew, she was weeping uncontrollably, turned away from the pegasus who was the source of all her pain.

That is not true, and you know it. She might have started it, but the pain is all yours, the little voice in the back of her head said.

And then she felt the soft embrace of pegasus legs, exactly as she'd dreamt it a thousand times. She felt wetness on her back, realizing that Rainbow Dash was still crying, and she heard a whisper. “It could have been so awesome.“

The regret that tinged the voice hit Gilda like a wall. That sounded almost like a farewell. Could it be she once felt the same for me as I did for her? But even if that was true, their chance had passed.

“Yes.“ Gilda turned to face the pegasus. “But it wasn't meant to be.“

Slowly, almost unwillingly, Rainbow Dash released the hug. “Maybe not. But we can be friends again.“

The griffon felt a weight lift off her chest, and that strange fire that had started burning after she'd met the alicorn returned in full force. “Perhaps we can, now that I have a chance to be myself around you,“ she said, smiling.

Rainbow Dash grinned. “I look forward to getting to know the real Gilda.“

A knock on the door interrupted them. “RD? Are you in there?“ A very soft voice, almost inaudible and naggingly familiar to Gilda. She saw Rainbow Dash blanch, though she had no idea why.

“Yes, she is. Come in,“ the griffon called.

The door opened a crack, and a pair of teal eyes peered into the room. “Um … hello, Gilda.“

Oh dear Lords, not her of all ponies. Gilda remembered her outburst against this particular pegasus only too well, and she wasn't proud of it.

The yellow mare – Fluttershy, Gilda dimly recalled – made her way into the room tentatively, avoiding the griffon's gaze. “Dash? I just talked to the doctors. Scootaloo will be released this afternoon. That head injury looked far worse than it really was.“

“Yeah, they tend to do that.“ Gilda didn't know why she spoke, but she felt a need to do so. “Head injuries bleed heavily, even if they're superficial.“

The two pegasi gave her surprised looks, and Fluttershy eventually found the courage to ask the question on their minds. “I don't mean to sound rude, but how do you know something like that?“

“Over the last seven years, I had to work whatever jobs came my way,“ Gilda explained, smiling faintly. “That included a five-month stint as an assistant nurse over in Hope's Peak, some three years ago.“ The smile faded as the memories came flooding back – that had not been a pleasant time.

“You? A nurse?“ Rainbow Dash looked equal parts astonished and amused. “I can't imagine you doing something like that.“

“Neither could I before I actually tried.“ Gilda closed her eyes. “It was hard. Compared to what you have here in Equestria, griffon medicine is primitive. I saw things that I'd rather forget.“

“Don't say that.“ Gilda opened her eyes and looked at Fluttershy, who was wearing a strange expression, halfway between a smile and a sad frown. “Everything that happens to you is a part of you.“

“Easy to say for you, but you weren't there. I saw griffons die, Fluttershy, griffons who could have been saved easily with the tools and magic you have at your disposal.“ Gilda felt her heart pounding, the old familiar anger rising again. “We used to be one of the great civilisations, but that was ages ago. The Great Loss robbed us of our birthright, and...“ She abruptly broke off as she remembered the words of that strange alicorn.

Return to Ponyville, Gilda. There, and only there, will you be able to claim your birthright.

“G? What's wrong?“ Rainbow Dash's voice sounded faint, as if coming from a great distance.

Gilda made to answer, but she was interrupted by another knock. “RD? Fluttershy?“

“Come in, Scootaloo,“ Dash called out absent-mindedly, not turning away from Gilda.

The door opened, and yet another pegasus mare entered. She looked significantly younger than the others, in her late teens at most. Gilda's eyes wandered over the orange coat, the reddish-purple mane, and the ugly-looking bandage around the left side of her head, eventually meeting the gaze of the light purple eyes.

Something happened. Gilda had no idea what it was, but she felt every bone in her body reverberate with a sudden surge of power as she locked gazes with Scootaloo. The whole world took on a reddish-orange hue for a split second, then a flash of light made the griffon squeeze her eyes shut.

“What in the hay was that?“ she heard Rainbow Dash ask in shock.

“That … looked familiar,“ Scootaloo said hesitantly, as if not quite believing what she was seeing.

Gilda opened her eyes and saw the three pegasi staring at her in wonder. “Hey, what is this, Circus Gilda? I'm not a fairground attraction for pegasus mares, you know?“ She tried to make it sound intimidating, but she could hear the trembling in her voice.

Fluttershy raised a hoof and pointed at Gilda's neck, obviously lost for words.

The griffon looked down and recoiled in surprise. Some kind of metallic-looking necklace had formed around her throat, shimmering in all colours of the rainbow. Right in the centre, directly above her heart, a yellow gemstone was embedded in the metal, carved to resemble an open eagle claw.

Scootaloo stepped near the bed and looked at Gilda. “You are one of the Four That Are Hidden.“

Again, memories of her encounter with the alicorn came back to the griffon. “I think so. But how do you know about that?“

“I had a vision. A grey alicorn with dragon wings and griffon paws spoke to me about the Four That Are Hidden, and told me I had to find them.“ The pegasus grinned. “One down, three to go.“

“Hold on a moment.“ Now that Gilda was seeing her up close, Scootaloo seemed familiar. “Aren't you that athlete pony? The one who won the Fillydelphia Stakes two months ago?“

“The one and only!“ Scootaloo exclaimed, proudly turning her rump so that her cutie mark, a streaking comet with a star-shaped head, came into view. “You've heard of me?“

Gilda put on an exaggerated frown. “How could I not? You were all over the papers for weeks, I thought they'd never find anything else to report ever again.“

Rainbow Dash tousled Scootaloo's mane, carefully avoiding the bandage. “She may not be the fastest flier in Equestria, but she can outrun earth ponies.“ The pride in her voice was palpable.

“So you're Scootaloo.“ Gilda stretched out a foreleg. “I'm Gilda.“

Scootaloo's eyes widened. “The Gilda? The one Rainbow Dash wouldn't shut up about?“

Gilda turned her eyes on Dash, who had her head lowered and was staring at the ground. “You wouldn't shut up about me? What's that all about, then?“

“You...“ Rainbow Dash seemed to struggle to find the right words. “You ran out on our friendship, Gilda. I'm the Element of Loyalty, and what you did hurt. Quite a lot, in fact. When Scootaloo finally managed her first flight and came to me for flying lessons, we got into talking quite a lot. She's like a sister to me, and so we eventually shared some of our deepest secrets.“ She grinned. “I won't talk about hers, but one of mine was how much it hurt to lose you like this, after you had insulted and alienated my friends.“ The grin faded, replaced by confusion and sadness. “What I still don't get, even after seven years, is why you did it.“

“I...“ For a moment, Gilda hesitated, not sure whether she wanted to talk about this in front of two strangers. To the Barrens with that. I wanted to get this resolved, time to get it over with. “I hadn't just come to Ponyville to see a friend. I wanted to tell you something – you can guess what that was, we just talked about it before they arrived.“

Rainbow Dash blanched again. “You had come to tell me...?“

“Yeah. And after it was over, when I was on my way home, I suddenly realized what I'd done.“ Gilda felt tears well up again. “The Lords be damned, I'm sorry.“ She turned to Fluttershy. “I'm sorry for yelling at you like that. I'm sorry for what I did to that pink earth pony. I was jealous, and I didn't have any other way of dealing with it. I thought you'd taken RD away from me.“

Gilda took a deep breath, forcing the tears back. She felt like she was being drained of something toxic – it was painful, but she knew she'd feel better afterwards. “After I came home, I cried for hours. I'd never before felt so lost. I had committed all three Deadly Sins in one go – I had lashed out at others because I doubted my feelings, I regretted what I'd done, and I feared going back to Ponyville.“ She hung her head in shame, realizing that tears were falling from her eyes, yet not caring in the slightest. “It took me seven years to finally come to terms with what I did. All I can say is, I wish I could undo it.“

She felt the embrace of hooves once again, and when she looked up, she saw that Fluttershy was hugging her. “I forgive you. What you did was wrong, but you did it out of love.“

Scootaloo's face suddenly lit up in understanding, and she turned to Rainbow Dash. “She was …?“

“Yeah.“ Dash was fighting hard to hold back tears. “And Celestia forgive me, I'm not sure whether I didn't feel the same for her.“

“Water under the bridge, RD.“ Gilda tried her best to sound light-hearted, though she knew this issue was far from really resolved. “Friends?“

“Friends,“ Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy replied in unison.

Scootaloo coughed. “Um, guys, now that the mushy stuff is out of the way, perhaps we can deal with that?“ She pointed to Gilda's necklace. “A new element has just shown up here.“ She looked around, frowning. “What is it with this hospital? That's, what, the third element to manifest here in six years?“

Comments

[Ospero]

And here is chapter 2. I was intentionally holding back on this one, because it's all I have for the moment except for a tiny fragment of the next chapter, but dang it, perhaps I can get myself to writing again once this is out in the open.

This chapter is named for the Portuguese entry to 2012's ESC, "Vida minha" (Life of Mine) by Filipa Sousa. Lyrics here. The song failed to make it to the final, finishing 13th in semi 2 with 39 points. Which, to be fair, is more than I thought it would get, seeing as how I find it kind of boring.

So, starting to put the pieces in place. Oh, and my apologies to the GildaDash fans out there. I am a horrible person.

[godf0006]

754256 i know whaat you mean, i keep a piece of my third chapter and a fragment of my next
anyhoof great chapter
static.fjcdn.com/comments/+_e0be756f6952708f6c8a3177f87a9292.jpg

[Ospero]

758404 Just to avoid disappointed expectations of any kind right away (particularly after seeing your story oeuvre): Yes, I do have a headcanon for those two where the more -ahem- intimate details of their relationship are concerned, but seeing as how I could get into really hot water with the authorities round here if I actually wrote about it and they found out (unless I aged them up to a point where that's not an issue anymore, and that's not the case in this story), I'd really rather not do that. Plus, while I may not know too much about my strengths as an author, I am very much aware that clop/intimacy is one of my weaknesses - I like reading it (as one look at my favourite stories will tell you), but it's really not a subject I'd feel comfortable writing. Enjoy the kissing, fans of physical intimacy, it's all you'll get out of this story. Sorry. Also, I feel it would distract from the story, because it's mainly an adventure story, with a few tablespoonfuls of romance mixed in.

On the other hand, if anyone is actually willing to write something like that, or anything else that they feel was left out of "Love Will Set You Free" or the prologue for this story, feel free. My first story on this site was an epilogue to someone else's story after all, so I'm in no position to tell you to leave my story alone. Just keep me informed about it, because I would want to read it.

[Ahhhhhhhhh]

t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRugKLh2jhyyasmLsiZcvSajysVkXhhIUQQh4VNL9m-mtOY50aO-g

"Everyone wants to buck me"

Sorry,I cant let it pass

[Ospero]

814415 Favourite it. Simple as that. You can always unfave it again if it hits a snag and/or takes a turn you dislike.

[LloydZelos]

“You? A nurse?“ Rainbow Dash looked equal parts astonished and amused. “I can't imagine you doing something like that.“

Don't worry, Dash. I'm thinking exactly the same way

Oh, come on, Gilda. Of course you can regret doing bad things, for goodness sake. It's, kinda, part of growing up? Also, I can't see you weeping. OOC, I say.

One more, three to go. Researching in this hospital, we need some more.i43.tinypic.com/214xo8w.png

[Frankie]

If I remember correctly:
Spike is Resolve, Apple Bloom is Confidence, Scootaloo is Determination and I think Sweetie Belle is Unity? I'm not sure.
In any case, it will be interesting to find out Gilda's element as well as who the other holders are.

[G S tol Kriaal]

Good question, Scootaloo.
966437 You got the first two right, but Scootaloo is Bravery and Sweetie is Trust

[KenjiYoi]

Huh, second time reading this and I just realized the origin of the Three Deadly Sins. Never Fear, Never Regret, Never Doubt. What 3 Avatars of Darkness did the Elements of Virtue give their lives to defeat? Fear, Regret, and Doubt. Interesting little thought that even all these years later, the outcome of that battle can still be felt.

[Pegasister_Animations]

1058457 hold up Scootaloo is confidence

[Nightmare Loopy]

5692231

No... Ab is confidence,
Spike is resolve,
Scoots is Bravery,
and Sweetie is trust.