If there was a picture in the dictionary for the definition of "confidence", it would be a picture of DJ Pon-3, strutting down the street. Her voluminous blue hair flowed in the breeze, her little jacket stretched tight over her chest, and music blared in her ears. Her face bore a confident smirk, and nothing could slow her down.
Not even the angry stallion headed for her.
“You stole Octavia from me!” he roared, swinging angrily at Vinyl with a fist.
Grabbing her headphone cord with both hands, Vinyl stretched it out and caught his fist. Rotating her wrists, she pulled the cord tight and twisted, forcing his arm behind his back, lifting it in an armbar, and pinning him in place.
“As if!” she retorted. “She's not your property. Besides, she came to me. I didn't steal your marefriend.”
Shoving him away, she continued walking and walking and then she was on stage, listening to the cheering and screaming of a crowd that had to have been standing room only.
Now, a good DJ knows the importance of momentum. If a slow song comes right after a fast song, the jarring change in rhythm tends to drive dancers off the floor and back to the bars, and that's the opposite of what a DJ wants.
So it was somewhat of a surprise when Vinyl stopped the music with a harsh scratch. Everyone in the room looked over at her, some glaring angrily, but Vinyl pulled out the microphone and took control.
“Hey, hey, take a chill pill, guys. I've got something important to say.” She extended a hand and pulled up a gray earth pony up on stage. She seemed overdressed for the occasion, wearing a black silk vest and a pink bow tie over a long sleeve shirt and black pants.
“This is Octavia, and she's very special to me. Very, very special.” Her hand snaked around Octavia and slid into her back pocket, showing the audience just how 'special' she really was.
“Octavia here has agreed to become my marefriend.” She pumped a fist into the air. “What do you think? Is she awesome or what?”
Cheers answered her. Octavia smiled, and apparently determined to show just how awesome she was, as she leaned over and kissed Vinyl on the lips.
Vinyl was surprised, but quickly recovered and began kissing her back. Octavia's hands began tracing over Vinyl's body, brushing against everywhere she was sensitive. Vinyl whimpered in pleasure, which was only heightened when Octavia's tongue brushed against her lips. Nothing could ruin this moment.
Not even the arrival of the same guy as earlier, even as this time he was spitting mad.
“Octavia, get down here!” he screamed.
Octavia took a step back, separating herself from Vinyl. Vinyl felt crushed... until she realized that Octavia was only backing up to have enough room to unbutton her vest. Three buttons later, her vest lay discarded on the floor and she started on her shirt, starting at the bottom and working her way up. Vinyl couldn't help but lick her lips as she watched Octavia prepare to bare her body, exposing herself for the sole purpose of Vinyl's pleas-
“Gah! Vinyl!”
Vinyl's eyes snapped open. She was no longer on stage, making out with the mare of her dreams on stage in front of her psychotic coltfriend, but instead was laying on her bed, wearing nothing more than her hair tie and the pencil she always kept behind her ear. She quickly became aware of just how exposed she was... and just how wet her right hand was.
“H- hey, Lyra,” she said, quickly curling into a ball to try and preserve what little modesty she had left. “You're home early, aren't you?”
“Nah, you just lost track of time,” Lyra said, lighting her hand and magically flicking a towel from the floor towards Vinyl, who caught it gratefully. “Would it kill you to lock the door?”
“Would it kill you to knock?” Vinyl retorted as she covered herself.
“It's my house too,” Lyra returned fire. “Besides, I thought you were done for the day after your hour long shower this morning.”
Vinyl blushed furiously and instinctively pulled the towel tighter around her body, as if to shield herself. “It was twenty minutes, and I didn't do it in the shower!”
“Suuure you didn't,” Lyra chuckled as she sat on her bed. “I mean, Octavia is pretty fine, so it wouldn't surprise me one bit.”
Vinyl wanted to deny that she had been fantasizing about Octavia, but it was pointless as Lyra already knew about her crush. This wasn't exactly the first time they'd ended up in this situation, after all.
Lyra pulled her knees up under her chin in the classic girl-talk pose. “So, what's your excuse for not asking her out this time?”
“Same excuse as always,” Vinyl sighed. “She's taken already, and even if she wasn't I don't know if she's bi. Besides, I'm not sure how I'd even start that conversation.”
“Yeah,” Lyra agreed. “That's a bit awkward.” She put on her best Vinyl impression. “Hey, Octi. I'm a big fan of your work, listen to it all the time. I'm also a fan of your boobs, and I mast-” She stopped and ducked the pencil Vinyl threw at her.
Vinyl huffed and folded her arms. “Not funny,” she grumbled. She paused, and then added quietly, “Besides, I like her hips, too.”
Lyra moved over to Vinyl's bed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “You can do it, Vinyl. You can ask her out. There's no knowing...” Lyra prompted.
Vinyl glared and defiantly kept her mouth shut and her lips firmly pressed together.
Lyra leaned in and nudged Vinyl's head with the side of her head. “There's no knowing...” she repeated.
“If you don't try,” Vinyl answered reluctantly.
“And just because there's a goalie...” Lyra continued.
“Doesn't mean I can't score. I know, I know; you've said that before.” Vinyl glared. “You've been really pushy recently.”
Lyra looked somewhat abashed. “Yeah, well... I care about you, and I want you to be happy. And Bon Bon has been so good to me...”
“You've had one kiss,” Vinyl pointed out flatly. “And it took you months to get that far.”
“But it was a good kiss,” Lyra insisted.
Vinyl rolled her eyes. “You were in the middle of the store and it was a brief peck on the cheek. I know. I was there.”
“We have a connection!” Lyra insisted. “I'm telling you, it's only a matter of time before we're exclusive.”
Vinyl smirked. “Fine... So why did you come back into the bedroom, anyway?”
“I was looking for you. I got takeout and figured you might want some.”
“Chinese?” Vinyl sat up and asked excitedly.
Lyra flicked her hand and lifted some chopsticks from her back pocket in her sea-foam green magic. “Is there any other kind?”
Vinyl snatched them out of the air and cheered loudly. She sprinted out the door.
“You might want to put pants on!” Lyra called. “Just throwing that out there!”
Tag says "Human", but terms like "stallion" and "marefriend" are used in-story.
Gespy is confuzzled.
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and he is not alone
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Those are there because although it is humanized characters, they're not straight human () and there is magic and wings and such.
And it's totally not because those terms make the story look like it fits better in the pony universe even though it's basically a story of OCs.
My first initial reaction was: PLEASE NO! I was super worried that you were doing a prologue for the story about their relationship, shattering the feeling of risk in the story, but that wasn't the case. That is great! I love feelings like that.
My next thing was a bit of a nerve racking thing that isn't well explained:
The people (humans as the tag describes) are referred to as ponies, colts, mares, stallions (that's odd), and they have their magic (not as odd), and they are... I really don't know how to chalk this up. My main problem with this, and this is only my first chapter, is that many people are visual readers, and as a vivid visual reader myself (if you ask me to recall a story, it will replay as a movie instead of text or bland events recalled as I think about the words, they look like something from an animation to me, and if it does that right, it's a pretty good story on that level), I can't seem to grasp what the people look like in this world. Are they anthros? Because I'm envisioning them looking a lot like SS Sonic's pony anthros, but it seems wonky because the use magic with their hands, and most anthros have horns. I checked the story you gained inspiration from, and couldn't seem to grasp where this connection and idea came from. My best guess and connection is with a semi-popular story (I forgot the name) where all the ponies are humans, but unicorns can use magic in their hands, and pegasus have their wings, but they have normal human colour and aside from magic and flight, are completely human.
I really like your story, and I will continue to read it although it stresses me to have to make a ton of in head changes so that the story doesn't blow my brain for a loop. I think the main problem is you don't establish physical characteristics when you mention them. I had to change my vision on them at least three times, which is a bit jarring and hurts immersion when I have to keep going back to change my thoughts every time you add another physical trait.
I want to remind you that I love this story so far, don't get me wrong, I just think a bit more of a description of your world as far as looks and how it works would be nice. Please continue, I would like to see this completed, I love Tavi/Scratch, just add a description of what these characters look like, what they do, and how you can tell their pony race apart.
Love ya, keep up the good work
This is very interesting so far. I can't wait to read more.
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For the sake of my sanity I'm imagining this world fits somewhere in between Equestria and the Human World from Equestria Girls in the MLP multiverse. So everyone basically looks like how the Equestria Girls characters look after "ponying up." Hence the wings but no horns and hand magic. Also pony ears, pony ears are a must for the image in my head. I'm not sure if this is what the writer intended but it's how I'm looking at it. I know what it's like to need a mental image so hopefully this will help you enjoy the story. I know it pulled me out of the story enough that I had to scroll down to the comments to see if it was explained. Your comment convinced me to keep reading but I figured I'd say this while the thought was fresh in my head.
Are you using the kilala97 humans !?
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Not exactly; but something similar.
Those looked really cute, though.