• Member Since 10th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

HapHazred


It's called garbage can, not garbage can't.

T

Octavia and Vinyl are both, to their surprise, flying to Trottingham on the same flight. At first, this seems like a happy coincidence, but things turn sour when the engineer on board, Cogs, is killed.

With everypony on board panicking and accusing Vinyl, Octavia helps her prove her innocence and save the rest of the passengers by unveiling the real killer.

Navigating suspects such as an unhinged weather pony, two inventor brothers, and an art dealer from Prance, both ponies have their work cut out for them.

Rated teen for m-m-murder.
Spoilers may be in the comments!

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 35 )

Finally something good in the new stories box... I think this could be Flim or Flam... Or maybe a weather pony.

Well, I haven't seen that coming...

5434298
5434314
I hoped it would be surprising (but hopefully not stupid). My golden mystery story is the story that you can read and actually guess the ending, but can't because it's too smart. So far, only a few authors have done that for me: Agatha Christie and Raymond Chandler are the two I could cite off the top of my head, and I've a long way to go before I can compare to those giants.
Still, I hoped you liked it.

Vinyl nodded. "I agree: whoever heard of a murder on a train?"

Oh Vinyl. so naive.

All in all, this was a good story. Liked and faved.

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5435041 Cheers! FimFiction needs moar Poirot.

I LOVED this. I love crime stories with ponies. Write moar!

Octavia used her little gray cells

5436419 I considered putting that in somewhere, but there is such a thing as too shameless a reference.

:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

The Blue Train

:scootangel:

This story brings up an interesting point about Flim & Flam:

Assuming that they did not con the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy from its true adventure, they are competent engineers. If they would just stop with the scams:

Supplemental
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Medicine

They could make a decent living as engineers.

As for the mystery, I believe that I need more information. 1 problem one has with these murder-mysteries in Equestria is the possibility that the murderer might have flown onto the airship, committed the deed, and flown away. The murderer may very well be none of the suspects.

I shall now look for more clues in the next chapter.

Everypony seems to have forgotten about Captain GasBag. It is probably nothing, but it might be everything.

I was right about paying attention to Captain GasBag.

5436742 Congrats, then! Although I'm only a little disappointed you suspected the captain from chapter two...

As for Flim and Flam, I kind of liked them. Fake medicine was low, but the super cider squeezy was a magnificent example of automated manufacture. Not to mention, they were flashy and showy. They were never evil or even bad that first time, and more than once I was rooting for them. They lost that sympathy when they began promising things of their medicine that it couldn't achieve, however.

Whilst most of my courses at uni revolve around the science of engineering, last year we had a very small module on engineering ethics, and the most important quality that an engineer should have is being trustworthy. After the first time they appeared, they had just driven the quality of their product into the ground, but later they betrayed one of the fundamental philosophies of 'honest engineering', and lost loads of sympathy from me.

In any case, I hope it was still an enjoyable read, even if you did suspect the villain correctly.

5437097

At Chapter # 1, I suspected everypony. At Chapter # 2, I focused on Captain GasBag because Miss Octavia Melody forgot to interview him. That is an unforgivable oversight.

The Cider-Squeezy is an amazing magically powered machine Flim & Flam waste their time hurting other ponies (conning ponies injures them financially) when they can make inventions like the Squeezy. A good movie touching upon the ethics of engineering is Real Genius.

5437748

That is an unforgivable oversight

In that case, I think a small change is in order.

the super speedy cider squeezy was a tool used to make cider, and whatever effect it had on the Apple family was acceptable from an ethical point of view. (although their quality control dipped considerably a bit later)

Pretending that applejuice was medicine is actually a crime. I was legitimately disappointed they were't tried and convicted. Not only does it damage sick ponies thinking they're being healed, but as you said it injures them financially.

5437763

>> Walabio

That is an unforgivable oversight

In that case, I think a small change is in order.

You did not make the mistake, Miss Octavia Melody did. Frankly, real police make far worse mistakes.

the super speedy cider squeezy was a tool used to make cider, and whatever effect it had on the Apple family was acceptable from an ethical point of view. (although their quality control dipped considerably a bit later)

The cut they offered the Apples was too small. If they want farmers to use their invention, and thus pay royalties, they need to make their device more profitable than hoof-pressing cider. Granny Smith going all Marty McFly and betting the farm was very stupid of her. Gambling is dumb.

Pretending that applejuice was medicine is actually a crime. I was legitimately disappointed they were't tried and convicted. Not only does it damage sick ponies thinking they're being healed, but as you said it injures them financially.

I have seen far worse in the SCAM-Section of the Pharmacy:

Supplemental
Complementary
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Medicine

I would like to see everypony associated with SCAM arrested and SCAM pulled off of the shelves.

5437915 All good points. Ethics is a tough thing to define anyway, outside the obvious blacks and whites of it. Hurting people, though? Best avoided.

Well, when Octavia spoke of the possibility of the captain murdering the engineer, and with the bartender dismissing it so quickly, I thought Gasbag and Stronghold were the mane culprits. I guess I was half right? Anyways, great story! I just got done reading DN:E and this fits into my favorite category, 'Mystery and Murder'.
Like and favorite for you sir :moustache:.

5441751 Jeez, I just can't stop having people suspect Gasbag apparently! :rainbowlaugh:

Does nobody trust the staff these days? What is the world coming to?

Anyway, glad you liked it.

One question though: what is DN:E? It sounds like something I want to party with.

DN:E is Death Note: Equestria, based off of a very popular anime series called Death Note. It changes up the characters and some small parts of the story, but it roughly the same. Oh, about everyone suspecting the staff, blame it on Clue, the movie. "It was the BUTLER!" :derpytongue2:

5441956 Did somepony mention death note?:raritystarry:

I'm actually guilty of a little Death Note plagiarism myself. Love the anime. When I write my own mystery stories, I often play L's theme just to make me feel smarter.

I'm going to see if I can find this DN:E you speak of.

You probably won't find it right away. ( I just looked it up, wasn't there. :facehoof:) BUT it's made by a guy named Nonagon. Takes place before season 3 events. (No Princess Twilight) I've already finished reading it, so I'm taking a break from my unhealthy overdose of Fallout: Equestria and looking at other peoples creations. I was thinking of making one myself, but school and stuffs. :twilightsheepish:

I find that the real crime here is not the murder, nor the hijacking, nor even the theft of the Piecasso... but the insanely small number next to this story's green thumb... :trixieshiftright:

Well done, Good Sir or Madam, :twilightsmile:
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5460293 :rainbowlaugh:

It was such a complex crime not even the great Octavia could puzzle it out.

Thanks for reading and commenting! Love the pirate, too.


Oooooooooh, it's heating up now! :3 I can't for the life of me figure out who the murderer might be but I hope Sly makes it out of this story alive. Edit: Just finished this murder mystery and HapHazred you have outdone yourself once again. A great story, I was really glad that sly made it out alive.

Exellent read!

You get a like!

And have a thumbs up too!

How about a moustace, while we're at it!:moustache:

And a heart, for LoZ purposes!:heart:

But seriously, this was an exellent story. There need to be more like this.

Oh, and here, have a Scootaloo.:scootangel:

I suspect the baker. I have not forgotten the MMM.

Nice mystery-adventure... and now I want see Octavia and Vinyl in the mystery of the Blue Train! :raritywink:

9725978 Cheers man, I'll have to check that out when I have a minute free! : )

Hope you enjoyed it; it's been a while since I've revisited my murder-mystery phase.

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