Explosions. Sword fighting. Magic. Spaceships. Angels of the Goddess. Mushrooms. A Pink Puffball who eats everything in his path. Cuteness. Plumbers. Invasion. Barrel Rolls. Taking down armies single handed and living to tell the tale.
A day in the life for Mario, Link, Samus, Kirby, Fox and Pit, a team of fighters known in their joint universe as The Protagonists, all with their fair share of dealing with A LOT of bad guys. But a raid on a Space Pirate base reveals that their rivals - the Final Bosses- have decided that rather than start by conquering their own universes, protected by the Protagonists, they'd rather crush a different, unsuspecting world via trans-dimensional technology.
Unfortunately for them, The Protagonists foil their scheme, only for an explosion to blast everyone to the Final Bosses target destination: Equestria, a cheerful world of ponies where the need for protection seems to be absent. Unfortunately, it seems that the residents are not as harmless as they look.
For several weeks, weird things have been happening in Equestria. Well, weirder than usual. Odd creatures have been emerging from the Everfree Forest, seemingly watching the town of Ponyville. When the strange creatures attack, Celestia sends Equestria's military to Ponyville to help protect the citizens.
The Element Bearers are assisting the citizens of Equestria in defending their homes from invasion. However, the monsters begin attacking on all fronts, and nothing is looking good for the ponies of Equestria.
Luckily, there are some individuals nearby who are plenty experienced in dealing with bad guys. They call themselves the Protagonists.
Everything is about to go wrong, Mares and Gentle colts.
This story contains spoilers for different games in the Mario, Legend of Zelda, Kirby, Star Fox, Kid Icarus and Metroid franchises, as well as for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Events also take place after the Season 5 premiere, so no canon after the opener will be included (although information revealed in those events are fair game).
Edited by the awesome XSomeGuyX
Canon-Checked by BeneathTheShade
Progress Report-
666 views?! The mark of the devil 
50 likes!
5 dislikes!
Rated 7.8/10 on IGN!
1000 Vizzles 
You have attracted my attention. Show me more and you might recive my fav...
Hooray, Yay!
...
This should be entertaining... or something...
But in all seriousness, I'm looking forward to more.
I'm surprised this isn't more popular, it's such a great story! The grammar, pacing, spacing, and details are all very well done! I can't wait to read more!
I demand you update this soon.
5562775 I hope so. I like Smash Bros. logic.
For the uninitiated, that means "anything goes, as long as the resulting fight is cool". And oh yes is there coolness potential here.
I have begun writing the official first chapter, however school and blargh is taking up a lot of time. It will take a little time.
Also, maybe not as much "Smash Logic," but you are in store for explosive amounts of Nintendo awesome.
5563490 Yes! Everything yes!
You have my full attention my friend if I could give you more likes i would but for now, have a 'stache
Ps. Is it going to be Link model from Hyrule Warriors and Sammus from Other M?
Pss. Is Kirby going to eat Pinkie at some point? (please say yes!)
Psss. Are the Silent ones gonna talk?
Pssss. Thats all :D keep it up!!
I am okay with this, but i hope Spike doesn´t start to be the grown up of the group and decide when anyone can do what they want. I mean not that he starts to stop everyone, as long as they do something he thinks could be bad, if you know what i mean. I think Twilight has to say more.
I know i say to much already, but i am just affraid, what could happen with big Spike here. I don´t want Rainbow or Applejack being affraid of him or just stop everytime he does something like this.
Long story short, i think what i want to say is, i hope Spike don´t get to much controle of the group. He is maybe bigger now, but i don´t think he should suddenly get to much authority, even if he is really together with Rarity.
5563884 Oh. Okay. Um, that's awesome too. Excuse my brain derp.
You sir, have caught my attention
5563849 It's not a matter of authority; Spike was simply breaking up an argument. Twilight would have done the same if she had gotten there first.
THIS IS AS AWESOME AS CHOCOLATE MILK .~PinkiePie
THIS IS AS AWESOME AS CHOCOLATE MILK ~ Pinkie Pie.
5563935 The fighting will (hopefully) be really cool, but I also want my story to have some real substance and not just be "Fight scene, boring filler, fight scene"
Hmm, somewhat vague. But that's to be expected, considering that the story has only just begun, thus making it rather unwise to reveal too many details right away. I'll keep an eye on this for now.
I was very afraid to read this story and find a rushed work from a 10 year old. However, this is not the case.
The narration, the pacing, the grammar; everything is extremely competent. This is a good work of fanfiction.
If I had to point out something I'd find jarring, would be the formating: while there are clearly a separation between paragraphs, there's nothing else to indicate such. You should probably add a line between each paragraph, including dialogues, in order to facilitate the reading of the chapter. I've noticed that there are "double spaces" between words, and while it isn't really an issue, it can be fixed too.
As for the story itself, the setting that this chapter explained is kinda ambiguous for those who didn't read the story description, with no glances as to what these creatures look like or a description of them. I usually prefer stories to start when things begin to happen, but here, the narration starting afterwards, is effective, because it helps the plot move forward quickier than with 5-6 paragraphs of build-up and then the ensuing action.
However, I didn't like how in the end of the chapter Twilight was all like "Genre Savy". It enters in conflict with the situation at hand, where nopony has any idea of what is happening. Twilight hoping for "A group of heroes" to appear is oddly especific, and very unlikely to cross her thoughts, since she's on the dark about everything; how can she deduce that these invaders already have an enemy that are going to come and stop them from invading Equestria?
It feels as if you are explicitly telling the readers what is going to happen. That is a no-no of story-telling. Readers should be intrigued, they should be able to make the questions so that they can learn the answers after, not the other way around. You are taking away the surprise from the story, and in a painful way at that.
If you want a more concrete proof, there's the last line:
You are explicitly telling the readers that the villains have just arrived Equestria and that they're going to appear on the next chapter.
I'm sorry for this rant, but I liked the rest of the chapter and want to see more of this story; I'd strongly suggest to give a look at this issue, since this story has a lot of potential; You did everything else right so far, so this shouldn't be a problem.
Peace.
HSXI
5614578 Thank you for the wonderful feedback. I'll probably go on an editing spree at some point. And thank you for the compliment on the overall storytelling. Frankly, you should have seen it before the editor took a pass. It was mostly small things, but they probably would have driven you bonkers :P
Honestly, the funniest thing about the featured in list is that every single group it's featured in was featured by someone else :P
Nice re-edit. There's still the issue about Twilight being genre-savy, but I can ignore it if we assume that she came to the conclusion that this creatures come from another dimension because they are nothing like what Equestria has ever seen before. But I find no way to justificate why she belives that "heroes" will come to help them.
5914925 It ain't heroes, it's just someone who knows something, anything about the monsters. Not to deal with them, but just to learn about them.
pearlsofprofundity.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/very-interesting-1.jpg
s2.quickmeme.com/img/7f/7fa6b0be9d5614e6e8aa57089f47c718ec462a462188bb1b058a1456cfd02d12.jpg
pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/521368072242737153/7S5yWeRN.jpeg
vicsmovieden.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/bigstock_online_update_11303201.jpg
Are you going to continue this story?
Keep Pit away from the flight controls!!
This looks like it might be good, but I'm concerned about the characterization. Celestia and Luna's dialogue in the previous chapter seemed forced and kind of iffy. Kirby's scene was also odd, he doesn't get upset easily and rarely takes his bad feelings out on someone or something else.
Dreamland creatures potentially being involved in the villain team-up is also strange. King DeDeDe is greedy and self-centered, but not actually evil and never works with people who have genuinely bad intentions. Plus, Mario implied that this takes place after Super Smash Bros. Brawl and I don't think the others would invite him back after his reveal as a double agent. And I'll bet that Bowser still wants to get him back for that pimp slap.
Unless it's some other villain leading Dreamland's monsters and DeDeDe is a red herring, I'm not sure I can read this. Characterization is important in fanfiction but it seems like it may be a bit shaky here.
6111666
Thanks for the feedback.
This is my first fic, and writing with established characters (especially Celestia and Luna, who I haven't really watched enough of to get a good grasp of their characters) is very difficult.
As for Dedede... I got nothing.
(Or do I???????)
6112296 Established character's dialogue generally is one of the harder parts of fanfiction, especially since people naturally think of what they would say instead of what the character would say. One piece of advice I have is to watch what characters avoid doing as much as what they have a tendency to do. In addition to mannerisms and habits, most characters will have words and actions that they try to avoid using, and may prefer approaching subjects/specific people in a certain manner.
I can't tell you how many fics I've lost interest in because someone dignified like Princess Celestia started using slang or talking in a way that was inappropriately personal for someone in their position. Stuff like that is kind of what I'm worried about.
I'm going to keep reading for now. They aren't too OOC so far, and I suspect that if DeDeDe is with the villains, he has some sort of reason for it. He's shockingly clever for such a simple guy.
6112296 SO YOU FIIIIINALLY POSTED A CHAPTER.
You know I thought at first it was the Chaos kin was controlling Link and the ring was the same one he trapped Pit in.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that they invited Kirby. He's not a hero! He's an omnicidial maniac who eats everything and everyone in his path! Hell, they would've been better off inviting King Dedede. I mean, this fic is in the same continuity as Brawl, and considering those amulets Dedede had when Tabuu showed up, he's... technically the hero of that game.
"That reminds me." Mario said. "Where's Sonic?"
"We didn't call him," Samus said. "He's got his own problems."
"I don't know all the details," Palutena added, "but from the reports I've seen, he... boomed."
To be justifyingly fair to Kirby's offesnce, that rock threw off his
groovecute. So it had it coming.6136524 That's a different continuity.
6136524
...
quickmeme.com/img/12/12710061ec1b8ec6b7fa09807a2b4f6c7c208950ddab1952d95037fcb0c754fc.jpg
My thoughts on the scene from KI: Uprising.
Great story I hope we get to the good part soon!
I am immensely impressed with how well written the story is. Everything is so engaging and plentiful descriptive at best.
Keep it up man.
All the comments make me so happy
Thanks to everyone who has taken time out of their (possibly) busy lives to read my story
Just found this fic, hoping for some Sub-Space Emmisary magnitude of awesome.
That doesn't sound like Space Pirates to me. From my understanding, Metroid's Space Pirates care very little for individual losses and casualties, and are willing to overlook just about any losses as long as the larger goal is accomplished. That's underscored by the fact that many of their troops are prisoners and slaves (see Prime 3) and their attack fleets have included kamikaze-style boarding pods (see Prime 3 again). In fact, considering that Samus Aran has been a consistent thorn in their side for years and wrecked many of their operations, I'd imagine the Space Pirates are willing to kill her at any cost.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
6229389 Wut?
6230458NO MORE FINISHED CHAPTERS!!! IT'S PAINFUL!!!
6231343 I'm so sorry, I feel your pain
Luckily, because I won't be writing in two chapter increments, the third chapter will be written much faster.
Potato
6233114 Thank you!
A fave, as promised, now.... DONT DISSAPOINT ME...
6243955 DON'T WORRY, I WONT
I can't Wait for the 3rd chapter!
It's like every time I start tracking a story, it suddenly stops updating. Or mabey I'm just impatient... NAW!
6782087 Naw, I'm just lazy. I hope to remedy that soon.
In the same way that Half-Life 3 will be out soon.
this is the down right best fanfic EVER!