Fun times in the Everfree

Author's Note:

It's silly, and to absolutely no purpose. So laugh a bit. Enjoy

Muscles stretched from long millenia silent and sleeping. Bones popped and cracked as they moved into place, the huge body lifting itself from the dirt in the Everfree.

Awake! I Awake at last!

A roar went out above the treetops, the black horror caterwauling to the world that darkness had come. Bringing to the world despair, atrocities such as hadn’t been seen in countless centuries! Sacrifices of blood and pain, screaming shadows lit the things mind as it remembered past glories, of the night that fell and never left.

The long sleep was over, it was time to bring back the rule of the night, the fists of iron that took a world and benighted it, brought pain and suffering that never....

What was that?

The abomination blinked at a small buttery yellow figure that appeared to be flapping wings and flying in front of it’s eyes.

“Now now, I know you’re probably grumpy but that’s no reason to scare the animals now is it?”

BLASPHEMY! This insignificant being dare to talk to one such as I! I shall crush it, make a paste out of it’s bones and keep it in a vial alive and conscious for all of screaming eternity! Another roar tore out of the huge lungs, bellowing to space and time that it would not be denied it’s rightful place as ruler of this world! It swung claws the size of steel beams, wiping this pestilential thing from it’s sight as it took a step forward, intent on bringing suffering to all who dwelt here!

A tapping was felt on it’s head as it looked up, it was that thing again!

“Now I know you’re probably angry, but that’s no reason not to be polite. Why don’t you watch where you’re going okay? It wouldn’t be nice to step on anypony.”

It bellowed it’s hatred and lust for blood again, roaring through the forest and surrounding countryside as never felt before. It would eat this insignificant thing and chew it’s bones to powder! It drooled, silvery globs of spittle splattering on the forest floor as it thought of tasty flesh, bones crunched between teeth, the screams of prey eaten whole! Oh yes, ‘twill be once again the savory delights of the enslaved. Those brought only to serve ME! Dying at my whim and pleasure!

Taking another heavy step forward it was stopped again, what IS this thing? It waved a giant clawed hand, batting as one would an insect, waving it away, for it had better things to do now that it was awake!

“Now you be nice Mr Grumpy Pants, no reason to stomp on things!”

For eons it had slept, awaiting the day of awakening, to once again behold a world that was its alone. To bring untold madness in it’s wake, striking down all who’d oppose, making of them slaves and sacrifices! I SHALL NOT BE STOPPED! It reached out to grab this pitiful thing, this whispery bit of nothing. It would throw this thing into the sea it could sense away, the waters crashing onto the shores. The agony as the thing was smashed into the waters would be delightful...What?

Something by it’s feet was a bright color, yelling up at himself as it reached for the yellow annoyance.

“Hey there new pony! You’re new right? Newnewnew! We’re going to have to have a party! You’ll love it here, it’s a great place and you can make all kinds of new friends!”

Lifting a clawed foot, stomping down in rage to wipe the colored thing off the face of the world, smearing the foot side to side to make sure it was crushed and GONE!

“WOW that was cool! I bet you’re great at making wine! Those big feet can crush grapes all day I bet! Wouldn’t that be neat! Course that’s alot of grapes, I mean as big as that foot is we’d need a whole TON of grapes!”

The thing was on it’s shoulder, how did it....what.. The monster lifted the foot, seeing no colored smear on the bottom, turning a ponderous head to look at this colored...thing..that dare address it so casually, letting a roar out which blew the colored things’ hair straight back for a moment, eyes widening as it ‘Eeped’ and jumped around with glee.

“That was SO cool! Doitagain! Doitagain!”

The boundless anger triumphed as it raised arms to the sky, heavily muscled it towered over the tree tops and let loose a sound that toppled trees, blew things back from where it stood. It clawed and swiped at these gnat like things, waving them away as it took quake-causing steps toward a town in the distance. It would crush these things, make them pay for their insolence and impropriety!

Their suffering would be legend among those that languished in the fires of eternity! It’s eyes flinched as it saw another of those gnat like things in front of it, multi-colored, flapping it’s wings as well!

“What the hay Fluttershy? This isn’t even cool, it can’t fly, definitely not as awesome as I am!”

“Now it’s probably just grumpy cause it’s hungry Rainbow Dash. Maybe if I give it some food it’ll calm down.”

Once again the golden thing was in front of it, offering...were those NUTS? Grasses? How DARE it! Paltry items to give to one who was a GOD!

“Maybe if we go get some cake it’ll like that better!” The little thing on it’s shoulder was yelling at it’s compatriots.

A blast of fury came from the charnel house of a mouth, bellowing displeasure at these annoyances which ceased it from moving forward. Huge hands swiped and batted at these bothersome nothings which would not go away! Slamming palms down on the ground, missing the laughing thing which avoided it’s hammering hands. It’s mouth shrieking doom and anger at these..these...things!

Fury erupted, swinging for all it was worth to get away from these vexing things! The ground rippled with it’s might, the power and majesty of the dark flowing through to wipe these..these..chattels from the world!

Blasting forest for miles, unleashing hideous energies of pain and torture, bringing mighty powers to the fore. Black magical savagery whipped and brought into play the forces at it’s command!

All for naught.

The multi-colored thing was still in the air. The laughing gnat was asking it to do the “Magical sparkly things again!” The other was patting it’s head!

Pivoting on it’s feet, pounding a trail through the forest as it walked heavily to the sea it felt in the distance. Barraging the countryside with a voice that spoke of the damned and the doomed!

“Hey wait! Don’t you want to be our friend!”

Swiping whole acres out of the ground, plunging it’s feet deep into loamy soil, ripping and tearing the ground as it made it’s way to the waters.

It would rest, it would wait, and then the world it came to would suffer, but not this one. No.

This place is insane, Cthulhu thought.

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