The Snowball Fight

by zaponator

Ave Imperator, morituri te salutant

"So this is the last lieutenant, huh?" Apple Bloom asked as they trotted through the icy woods towards their destination.

"Yeah," Scootaloo responded quietly. "Let's take this one carefully, alright? We're so close to the end now."

"Don't worry about it. We've got this. Ain't nothin' they can throw at us we can't handle."

Scootaloo sighed. "I've just got a really bad feeling about this…"

---

"Where're the guards?" Apple Bloom whispered to the other Crusader as the two of them crouched in the treeline.

The fortress was up ahead, but they hadn't seen a single other pony nearby. The fortress itself was gigantic, and circular in shape. The walls were completely barren of windows, but the large gates remained open and unguarded.

"I dunno," Scootaloo responded carefully, "but I smell a trap."

Apple Bloom nodded. "What d'you suppose we do about it?"

Scootaloo paused momentarily. "Spring it?"

"Alright."

Both of them rose to their hooves and began trotting towards the castle entrance. Nopony challenged their approach, and even the entire forest remained completely silent save for the crunching of the Crusaders' hooves on the snow.

They paused outside the yawning gate and turned to face each other.

"No beatin' around the bush this time," Apple Bloom said simply.

"Right," Scootaloo agreed. "Let's just run in there, out whoever owns this place, and move on." She smirked. "Then we take out Diamond Tiara."

Apple Bloom paused, her eyes half-lidded. "Is there any chance that this is actually going to go that smoothly?"

"Not even slightly."

"Cool. Ready?"

"Always."

They leapt through the archway with snowballs in hoof. To nopony's surprise, a heavy gate of thick ice rolled down behind them with a loud clang. The Crusaders didn't even flinch, instead taking the time to examine the arena they found themselves in.

Arena was definitely the right word for it. The space was wide, flat, and circular. It was surrounded on all sides by high walls and empty bleachers. There was no ceiling, leaving the area open to the cloudy sky above. Several more, smaller gates let to the interior of the castle, but all of them were currently closed. At first it seemed as if nopony else was there, until the Crusaders spotted a lone figure standing on a raised platform in the middle of the bleachers.

They were an earth pony filly with a blue coat and an even darker blue mane. They had bright purple eyes, and a roguish manestyle.

"Hello, old friends. So sorry it had to come to this, but The Conglomerate's offer was simply too good to refuse."

The Crusaders blinked in mutual confusion.

"Uh…" Scootaloo raised a hoof. "Do we know you?"

The blue pony twitched. "It's me, Archer!"

Apple Bloom squinted. "Who?"

"I'm in your class!"

"Are you sure?"

Archer pointed at Apple Bloom, glaring. "I sit next to you sometimes! We've spoken!"

"Not… ringin' any bells. How 'bout you, Scoots?"

"I dunno." Scootaloo tapped her chin in thought. "She looks awfully familiar…"

Archer grinned in satisfaction. "Aha! I knew you'd remember! All those times we've talked, or hung out during recess, or at my birthday party last June—"

"Wait!" Scootaloo cut her off. "I know why you look familiar! You stole my manestyle!"

"…what?" Archer tilted her head to the side.

"Yeah! That's totally my style! What the hay?!"

"It's a common style!"

"Is not!"

Apple Bloom looked between the two arguing ponies carefully. Sure enough, their manes matched to a T. It was almost uncanny how identical they looked in that way. Really, if she just imagined Scootaloo dipped in blue paint…

Apple Bloom shuddered. Yeah, that was weird. She decided it would be best to end this and move on sooner rather than later.

While the two other fillies kept arguing, Apple Bloom scooped up a ball of snow. She took aim at the ranting form of Archer up in the bleachers, and then let fly.

"Whoa, jeeze!" Archer ducked low, narrowly avoiding the snowy projectile.

The room fell into silence. Two sets of eyes stared at Apple Bloom while she smiled sheepishly.

"Uh… sorry, but can we get to the fightin' part. I wanna get a move on."

Archer took a moment to recompose herself, then cleared her throat. "Ahem, yes, you're right. I suppose we should get things going."

"Right!" Scootaloo shook her forehoof threateningly. "Come on down here so we can pummel you!"

"As tempting as that offer is," Archer deadpanned. "Allow me to present my counter-offer." She gestured widely around them. "Look around, you two. See where you are?"

The Crusaders did so. They tensed as they noticed movement in the darkness behind the many gates surrounding them. There wasn't much in the way of cover in the wide room, merely a couple of tall pillars in the center of the room. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo inched towards those pillars slowly, suddenly desperate for any sort of protection they could get.

"That's right." Archer chuckled maniacally. "Welcome… to the arena!" She smirked down at her two captives and offered a mocking wink. "Good luck! Have fun!"

Then the gates opened. The Crusaders barely had time to spring into motion as the air was filled with flying snowballs. Ponies poured out into the arena in droves, flinging snowballs left and right with wild abandon. The Crusaders couldn't tell if they were all Conglomerites, or if they had all been captured too and forced to fight for Archer's amusement.

It made no difference. These ponies stood between them and their target, and that meant one thing. They had to be taken out.

Scootaloo slid on her knees towards a group of colts, dodging underneath several projectiles. She forward-flipped and landed in the middle of the group, then offered up a wild smirk.

"Let's dance!"

She kicked off and spun rapidly on one foreleg. Her hind legs swung out and knocked every one of the colts off their hooves. When Scootaloo's spin came to a skidding stop, she was surrounded by a circle of writhing and groaning bodies. She made quick work of them with the available snow and then sprung towards the next group.

Apple Bloom jumped over a leg sweep and supermare punched her opponent directly in the forehead. They collapsed, down for the count, but Apple Bloom was already spinning to block an incoming roundhouse. She caught the attacking filly's leg in her forehooves and smirked as the filly gulped nervously. Apple Bloom planted her hind hooves and swung the shrieking filly around her like a club. Three goons who'd been trying to get the drop on the Crusader were knocked aside like bowling pins and ended up sprawled in a pony pile on the floor. Apple Bloom released the filly and sent her skidding and sobbing across the ice to impact with the far wall.

"That's how you dosey-doe!" Apple Bloom stood there, beaming proudly.

A snowball skimmed the top of her ear.

"Whoa, nelly!" She quickly jumped back into the fight.

Scootaloo, meanwhile, was momentarily ducking for cover behind one of the snow pillars in the middle of the arena. Countless snowballs impacted on the other side while Scootaloo fashioned several of her own. Eventually, the barrage died down, but Scootaloo knew they weren't completely out of snowballs. She desperately wracked her brain for any way out of there… and then she looked up. Scootaloo smirked.

The large group of goons on the other side of the pillar was waiting patiently. They fidgeted, each grasping desperately to their snowballs and watching the pillar with wide eyes. Any moment now, she would pop out and they would finish her off. They just had to wait. They waited, and waited, and waited. At least a full minute passed, and the henchponies were starting to get antsy. Unfortunately for them, things were just about to get exciting.

"Merry Hearth's Warming!" The cheerful shout drew the shocked attention of the group of henchponies. They slowly turned their gazes upwards to see Scootaloo standing on top of the snow pillar, one snowball in each hoof.

Scootaloo jumped from the top of the pillar and straight towards the petrified goons. Her long brown cloak billowed behind her as she tossed two snowballs from mid-air. Two henchponies went down with snow-covered faces, and then Scootaloo landed among them.

"And a happy new year!"

She snatched two snowballs out of their hooves before the colts could blink, and immediately uppercutted one with his own snowball. She then turned and flung the other point-blank into the face of another henchcolt while at the same time spinning into a reverse roundhouse that caught yet another goon in the jaw. Scootaloo didn't stop there. She flowed with uncanny grace between the flailing colts and fillies, kicking and punching and striking them with snowballs. One filly managed to take a swing, but Scootaloo caught the blow and used the momentum to fling the hapless filly over her shoulder and into the face of another goon. As those two went down in a groaning heap, Scootaloo was already flinging two snowballs into the backs of colts who'd tried to flee the scene. The two colts went down face first and skidded to a stop, and Scootaloo pumped a hoof in celebration.

Apple Bloom was dealing with the last couple of remaining fighters. She parried one blow, but before she could retaliate the other pony moved in and pressed her back further. She was on the defensive, blocking and dodging and waiting for an opening that didn't seem to be coming any time soon.

"Augh!" Apple Bloom yelped as her hoof slipped on a patch of ice. She fell back onto her haunches and tried to scoot away from the approaching pair of goons.

Her foes smirked evilly and took step after agonizingly slow step towards her. They had her now. There was no way she could win from this position. She was out for sure.

Paff!

The henchpony on the left suddenly toppled forward, the back of his head decorated by a large splash of white snow.

"What the hay?!" The other henchpony turned to face Scootaloo, who was standing a little ways behind them. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that, filly!"

Scootaloo only smiled. While the henchpony was distracted staring at her, he completely failed to notice Apple Bloom rising up behind him with a snowball in each hoof.

"Dude," Scootaloo said slowly. "You need to chill out."

Wham!

Apple Bloom brought one hoof down on each side of his head. The colt cried out and collapsed to the floor with his entire head hidden by a shell of snow.

"Booyah!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "That was totally awesome! Why couldn't all the forts be like this?"

Apple Bloom shook her head and exhaled heavily. "I don't know 'bout you, but I'm pretty dang tired after all that. Don't think I could'a handled four arenas."

"Pffft!" Scootaloo waved a hoof. "Not with that attitude! Now c'mon, let's go pummel that blue pony!"

"The name is Archer!" A furious voice from up in the bleachers froze the two Crusaders in place.

"Oh yeah," Scootaloo muttered. "Forgot she was right up there."

"Seriously!" Archer cried wildly. "We've known each other for years! Scootaloo, I worked with you on that big science project last week! We spent the whole week together!"

Scootaloo shrugged. "I think I would remember something like that. I'm known for my perfect memory."

"You forgot Sweetie Belle's birthday two weeks ago…" Apple Bloom mumbled.

"Who?"

"Enough!" Archer screamed. "I was going to give you the honour of facing me in personal combat, but now I don't think you deserve that."

"Oh come on!" Scootaloo spread her forehooves wide. "Are you not entertained?"

Archer's eye twitched. "I'll be a whole lot more entertained when the both of you are out!" She turned and rang a large bell hanging behind her.

At the signal, every gate in the arena opened up and let loose a flood of balaclava-wearing colts and fillies. There was no chaos or disorganization this time. These ponies were all Conglomerites, and they were all clearly working together against the two Crusaders.

Apple Bloom's ears folded. "Oh…"

"Fine!" Archer held up a hoof, causing all of the henchponies to halt where they were. "You want fair? I'll give you one more chance. All you have to do is answer one little question, and I'll let you fight me." She paused for dramatic effect. "What is my friggin' name?"

"Crap!" Apple Bloom hissed. "I tuned out most of her monologuing, but I'm pretty sure she mentioned it at least once. Did you catch it?"

Scootaloo shook her head. "Nah, I don't think I've ever seen this filly before in my life."

"You were at my birthday party!"

The Crusaders ignored the exasperated shout and continued their hushed conference. "What if we just guess?" Scootaloo said with a raised eyebrow.

Apple Bloom rubbed her forehead. "The chances of that working are one in a million at best."

Scootaloo grinned. "So you're saying there's a chance!"

"What? No!"

But Apple Bloom's protests fell on deaf ears. Scootaloo stepped back and looked up to the fuming blue pony in the bleachers. "We have your answer!"

"Really?" Archer smiled genuinely. "Oh, what a relief."

"Your name…" Scootaloo paused, tapping her chin. Finally, after several seconds of thought, she closed her eyes and smilingly declared, "is Skippy!"

Archer simply stared. "You know what? Just out 'em. I'm going back inside." With a dismissive wave of her hoof, Archer turned and trotted through a door to the interior of the castle.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo tensed. They quickly moved to stand back to back, slowly rotating to keep an eye on as much of the massive horde as possible.

"What the hay, Apple Bloom!" Scootaloo hissed. "You said that would work!"

"I didn't even slightly say that! You have really selective hearing, ya know that?"

"It's alright, I forgive you. Let's just focus on getting out of here without getting out, 'kay?"

"Whatever," Apple Bloom grumbled.

"That's the spirit!"

One henchpony got brave and lunged towards Scootaloo. The pegasus filly shouted, "Heads up!" and jumped straight up to avoid her attacker. Apple Bloom didn't even turn around, and blindly bucked with her rear hooves. She felt them connect with something and heard a startled yelp as the henchpony was sent careening across the ice, back into the crowd.

Scootaloo landed with a grin. "That was really cool, but we can't keep this up all day. We gotta get out of here."

"Yeah?" Apple Bloom asked mockingly. "And just how d'ya propose we go about that?"

The Crusaders paused their conversation to duck a pair of thrown snowballs. The snowballs sailed over their heads and ended up striking two Conglomerites instead. The rest of the goons suddenly looked a little more nervous about throwing projectiles.

As they continued rotating in place, Scootaloo harshy whispered, "Through the gate, duh!"

"Huh!?" Apple Bloom blinked and glanced up. Sure enough, every gate that had opened to admit the horde of henchponies was still open. There was an ocean of enemies between them and every exit, but it was better than nothing.

"Well look at that," Apple Bloom muttered. "Not sure how I missed that."

Scootaloo breathed deeply. "We're gonna have to make a break for it. Just… just don't stop for nothing, okay? As long as one of us makes it to the door, we can finish this thing."

"Uh… alright," Apple Bloom mumbled. "What're you plannin', Scootaloo?"

Scootaloo smirked. "Something awesome! Now RUN!"

The both moved at once towards the same door. Scootaloo scooped up a pair of snowballs and flung them into the crowd ahead of them. Two henchponies were struck, and more still dove aside to dodge. The attack created a small opening for the Crusaders to sprint through.

For the first few moments, it really seemed like they were going to make it. They dodged between the horde and juked around flying snowballs in their mad dash for the gate. Then Apple Bloom noticed the crowd building up on either side of them. They couldn't outrun it. The horde was closing in around them like a noose, and it would be pulled tight well before they reached the gate.

"Scoots! We're not gonna make it!"

Scootaloo glanced around frantically, the hood of her cloak flapping behind her mane. "You're right!" she shouted back. "We're not!"

Apple Bloom's mouth dropped open in shock as Scootaloo suddenly veered off to the left.

"What're you doin'!?"

"I told you!" Scootaloo whooped. "Something awesome!"

The young pegasus reached the surrounding crowd and dove in hooves-first. At least three goons collapsed before her, and she didn't stop there. She flipped and rolled and kicked wildly, a veritable living tornado of destruction let loose into the middle of the crowd.

Suddenly, the henchponies that had been trying to surround Apple Bloom decided they had a much bigger threat to deal with. Almost all of them broke off to cluster around the whirling ball of orange fur, leaving Apple Bloom with little standing between her and the gate.

Apple Bloom dodged a snowball thrown by one of only two remaining defenders, then scooped up one of her own and fed it to the goon without slowing down. The last goon turned and tried to flee through the gate, but Apple Bloom leaned down and scooped up another hoofful of snow before leaping into the air and smashing it directly against the back of the henchpony's head. The henchpony slid across the icy floor and crumpled against the wall next to the gate at the exact same moment that Apple Bloom rushed though the archway.

She skidded to a stop in the dim interior, pausing to catch her breath in deep, heaving gasps. As she struggled to stay on her hooves, she turned around to see if she could catch any sign of Scootaloo. The arena was a mess of flailing hooves and flying snowballs. The sounds of fighting echoed into the dark hall Apple Bloom found herself in, but neither hide nor tail of her friend could be seen through the madness outside.

"C'mon, Scoots. C'mon, Scoots…" Apple Bloom whispered desperately.

Finally, an orange and brown shape burst from the crowd, just barely scraping past a multitude of grasping hooves. Scootaloo landed in a roll and quickly broke into a sprint towards the gate. She paused to spin around and chuck one last snowball into the crowd, successfully tripping up a henchpony in the front and causing a train-wreck of tripping ponies to pile up behind her.

"Yes!" Apple Bloom cheered, pumping a hoof.

Scootaloo grinned like a madmare as she dashed the final few meters towards the door. The crowd of ponies behind her were still pulling themselves back together. The Crusaders had plenty of time to make themselves scarce before the horde came after them. Apple Bloom's grin almost perfectly mirrored her feathered friend's.

Until the gate closed.

"Waugh!" Scootaloo skidded to a halt mere inches before mashing her face into the unyielding bars of ice.

"Scoots!" Apple Bloom shouted, immediately lunging forward to pull fruitlessly on the gate. "C'mon! Help me! We gotta lift this thing!"

Scootaloo kept silent. She sat down on her haunches and slowly held a hoof up to the heavy gate. Each bar was as thick around as her foreleg. The pegasus released a long sigh and turned her gaze down to the floor.

"Why aren't you helping!?" Apple Bloom half-sobbed.

Scootaloo raised her head to meet Apple Bloom's pleading gaze. The orange filly's eyes shone with an inner fire. "Apple Bloom, you need to go."

"Wh-what?!"

"Get out of here and finish this. Go out Snippy or whatever her name is, then go out Diamond Tiara, then get the prize!" She frowned and banged a hoof on the ice bars. "Finish this! Don't make what Sweetie and I did be for nothing!"

"I don't wanna leave you…"

Scootaloo chuckled mirthlessly. "I don't really want you to leave me either, but The Conglomerization needs to be stopped."

"The Conglomerate."

"Whatever."

Apple Bloom stumbled backwards from the gate on shaking hooves. "O-Okay. I'll… I'll finish what y'all started."

Scootaloo's frown morphed into a calm smile. "Good." She sighed. "I guess that makes this worth it." She reached a hoof through the bars and held it out towards Apple Bloom. "One last time?"

Apple Bloom sniffled, but held her hoof over Scootaloo's. "Not the same with just two."

Scootaloo snorted. "Yeah? Well good luck doing it by yourself."

Apple Bloom choked back a sob and turned to go.

"Hey," Scootaloo called out. "I'll see you again."

"Yeah," Apple Bloom nodded. "Someday."

"No, like, tomorrow. At school."

"Oh yeah…"

Then Apple Bloom trotted away into the dark halls. Scootaloo watched her friend go, let out one last sigh, then steeled herself and turned around slowly. The henchponies were finally thundering towards her from across the arena, and she set her hooves in a wide stance to meet them. The horde rumbled to a stop just a few meters away, and waited.

In the brief pause that followed, Scootaloo started speaking. "Looks like this is it, eh?" She shifted her weight on her hooves, scanning the dense crowd through narrowed eyelids. "Last dance of the night, boys."

Fwoosh!

Scootaloo threw off her heavy brown cloak with a flourish, revealing more than a dozen pre-formed snowballs stored in bandoliers across her chest. Faster than a blink, two of those snowballs were in her hooves.

"Let's tango."

---

By the time the sounds of combat echoed through the empty halls, Apple Bloom had left the arena gate well behind her. She still winced at every muffled thud or scream, but did her best to just ignore the sounds and focus on her current task. Fortunately, the castle seemed to be entirely empty. It seemed that every goon under Archer's command was out in that arena.

The lack of windows made the hallways dim. A few torches burned here or there, casting a long, spindly shadow behind Apple Bloom as she trotted along in silence. She followed the hall until finding a side door that led to an upwards staircase. The last place they had seen Archer was in the upper bleachers, so Apple Bloom followed the staircase up.

On the second floor, she followed the hallway around the whole castle. A few doors led into the bleachers above the arena, but she knew Archer wouldn't be there anymore. Besides, the arena had fallen completely silent by that point, and Apple Bloom didn't dare look upon the scene it surely contained.

At long last, Apple Bloom found a door on the other side of the hall. This door would lead to the exterior of the massive fortress. Apple Bloom carefully formed a fresh snowball, and then stepped through the door.

Archer was waiting for her, but not in the way Apple Bloom had expected. Archer was unarmed, and wasn't even facing Apple Bloom. The door had led out to an open balcony, and Archer was standing on her hind hooves with her forelegs propped against the railing. The blue pony continued gazing out over the land, but a twitch of her ears made it clear she'd realized Apple Bloom's presence.

"It's over," Apple Bloom stated with finality.

"Et tu, Apple Bloom?" Archer muttered sadly as she finally turned around. She dropped back to all fours and gazed forlornly into Apple Bloom's eyes.

"Don't try and pull that on me!" Apple Bloom snarled. "Y'all chose The Conglomerate over your own freedom! Y'all outed one of my best friends!"

"I did what I had to do, Apple Bloom." Archer shook her head sadly. "If you had any sense, you'd have done the same. You joined up with a ragtag band of rebels that were already halfway down the path to defeat. You jumped headfirst onto a sinking ship, while I simply chose the higher ground."

Apple Bloom shook her head. "It ain't business! I joined my friends because that's what friends do! We stick by each other's sides, even if it ain't the winning side."

Archer squinted curiously at Apple Bloom for several moments before answering. "I… suppose I can see where you're coming from. Maybe I was wrong after all." She sighed. "You won't find it easy to get to Diamond Tiara, even with all of us out of the way."

"Few things worth doing are ever easy."

"If you want a tip, go in fighting. It's the last thing Diamond expects. She doesn't like to operate with sheer violence, not personally. She'll be expecting some sort of subterfuge. Kicking in her front door might just earn you the element of surprise."

Apple Bloom hesitated, but eventually responded, "Thanks, I guess…" She took a step towards Archer, causing the other pony to back up until she was pressed against the railing. "You know I still gotta take you out. For Scootaloo."

Archer nodded slowly. "Understandable."

"For what it's worth," Apple Bloom smirked. "We who are about to win salute you."

Whap!

The snowball struck Archer square in the chest, and the force propelled her back over the railing. She didn't cry out, and tumbled silently through the air before landing on the snow below with a muffled whump.

"Oh, jeeze!" Apple Bloom scrambled over to the railing and shouted down, "Y'alright!?"

"Yeah, I'm good!" came the weak reply. "I'm just gonna… lay here for a while. See you at school tomorrow though."

"Alright! See ya later!" Apple Bloom turned and trotted back towards the fortress exit.

Comments

[Csquared08]

Zap, you are insane.

Also, final fight is gonna be Scoots vs Apple Bloom.

[Starburst Gleam]

Omg ok. Now I'm praying Scoots makes it out OK

[Alchemystudent]

Hmmm, if I know my plots right, Scootaloo has a chance o popping in a the last second to save Applenbloom

[TheCatlover192]

Why did you have to make Scootaloo such a moron?

[Orange Pudding]

5981791 Because she's been hanging around Rainbow Dash too much. Ohhh!

This story constantly has those moments where you believe the stakes are much higher than they actually are, then beautiful little moments like that chapter ending happen, and you realize it's just an over-sized kid's snowball fight. I love it.

[Godiswithus3]

*Sigh* one CMC left to win, one Conglomerate leader left to defeat.

[omegasnowfall]

that was...

interesting.