Gong Yi Tem Ponies

by TrombonePlayingPony

The Crow Caws on Nightmare Night

I adjusted my wide brimmed hat, making sure the mask over my eyes wasn’t disturbed as I did so. The shirt I wore was a low V-neck, string bringing the two sides together. I gave a quick tug on my boots and gloves to make sure they were secure before pulling out the Sword of the Storms from the scroll underneath my cloak.

“Alright Twilight, you sure you can do this?”

Twilight rolled her eyes with a smile. She was wearing some sort of cliche wizard costume with a blue pointed hat and cloak, along with a beard. “Of course Allan. This is just a simple illusion spell. All I need to do is…” she stuck out her tongue in concentration before taping her glowing horn against the sword. In a flash of light the sword turned into a silver rapier. I grinned as I strapped it to my belt, the new sword tying my Zorro costume together nicely.

Luckily for me there was a version of Zorro in this Equestria so my costume would not go to waste. It was kind of funny how many things transfered over from earth. There’s a pony rip off of Indiana Jones, Disney Princesses, Star Wars, not to mention how the calendar has the same days, months, and holidays. I can’t be the only one who finds that odd, right?

“Come on Allan!” Twilight called from the door. “We should get moving. There’s no way I’m letting you keep Princess Luna waiting!”

I rolled my eyes as Dojo lied down on the brim of my hat before following her out. All of Ponyville was in full holiday swing. Ponies walked around in costumes, playing games like bobbing for apples and spider toss while the fillies, colts, and Pinkie Pie went door to door collecting sweets.

Against the night sky, I noticed a black cloud slinking about, taking up a spot right above before letting out a deafening crash. Pinkie and the foals quickly bolted at the sound while I just looked up at the laughing prankster pegasus. Rainbow was wearing what looked like a Wonderbolts outfit turned black, though I’m not really sure what that was supposed to be.

“Rainbow Dash, that wasn’t very nice.” Twilight scolded.

“Oh cheer up old timer. This is the best time of the year for pranks!” I glanced at Spike to seem him choking on candy while I could feel Dojo clutching my hat.

“Look what you did to Spike and Dojo!” Twilight shot back.

“Eh, it’s all in good fun.” She looked off to the side before jumping up. “Oh! Oh! There’s another one!” She pushed the cloud elsewhere, the sound of thunder and screams being an obvious indication of what was happening. I just rolled my eyes and looked around, finding Applejack over by the apple bobbing stations no less.

“Hola Applejack.” I tilted my hat at her as I approached the scarecrow pony. “Who would have guessed you’d be where the apples are.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Ya, ya. Well somepony’s got to refill these things.” She took a glance at Twilight before muttering to me. “Any idea what Twi is?”

“No idea señorita.” Twilight grumbled some more as applause caught our attention nearby. Mayor Mare was making some kind of announcement

“Thank you everypony, and welcome to the Nightmare Night festival! Now all the little ponies who have been out collecting sweets should follow our friend Zecora to hear the legend of Nightmare Moon.” She tried making a spooky voice to scare anypony but all she got was laughter from the crowd thanks to her clown costume.

Zecora however was perfect for the spooky role, the zebra’s costume being covered in spiders and black. I had never actually seen Zecora before, though apparently she had been mistaken for some evil enchantress. Ironic that she plays the part so well.

“Follow me and very soon, you’ll hear the tale of Nightmare Moon.” She walked toward the Everfree Forest, the foals following right behind. Twilight, Spike, and Pinkie went with them while I just watched the parade of costumed ponies go off.

“You ain’t going with them Allan?” Applejack nudged me with a hoof.

“Nah. I think I had enough Nightmare Moon when she tried to take over Equestria. Besides, Dojo here would probably wet my hat.”

I felt Dojo’s shivering stop for a second as his head popped down in front of mine. “Hey! I ain’t no scaredy dragon! I just have an… allergy! Ya, that’s it.” I rolled my eyes as he returned to his spot, Applejack doing the same as I.

“Well if ya ain’t going to follow the little ones, care to try bobbing for apples?”

“Sure. Sounds like fun. It’ll at least past the time until Luna gets here.” I pulled off my sword and stuck it into the ground before placing my hat on it. Took me a moment to get situated over the barrel but once I was, I dove in. Try as I might though, I could not get a single apple. Eventually I had to come up for air, gasping as I did.

“Alright, this game is a lot harder than it looks.” Applejack just chuckled as I notice Rarity walk over, her hair in a massive bun along with bats in various places. Guess she’s a vampire?

“Hello Allan. I must, that costume looks perfect on you! I’m so glad it came out the way it did.”

I stood up and grabbed my hat and sword as I spoke. “Well you are the one who made it. Of course it came out great.” Before she could respond though the sky began to darken as clouds quickly moved in. The silhouette of a flying carriage pulled by ponies with what looked like bat wings appeared in the sky before the cloaked pony riding in said carriage jumped out. She landed softly, throwing her hood back to reveal an alicorn with midnight blue fur and a mane that moved on its own similar to Celestia’s.

Wait, is that Luna? For a moment, the alicorn seemed to be all business as she looked over the cowering ponies before she spotted me and smiled. “Allan! We are filled with joy to see you enjoying the festivities!” Her voice sounded like it had gone through three megaphones before being blasted right in my ears.

Woah, it is Luna! And maldita sea is she loud!! “Hola princesa. You’ve certainly changed in the past few months.”

She walked over to me as I noticed the ponies were starting to pick themselves up from where they were ‘hiding’. “The same could be said about you. It seems Master Gongniu has had quite the effect on your health. We approve.”

I gave my ears a moment to recover before arching an eyebrow. “We?”

She gave me a strange look. “Yes, we. Is it not customary to use the royal we anymore? We must be honest, modern customs have been… difficult to acquire.”

Ah, right. Spending a thousand years on the moon might make you a bit out of place. “Don’t worry about it Luna. Just turn down your voice, would ya?”

Luna opened her mouth before covering it with a hoof and clearing her throat. “Apologies.” She said in a normal tone of voice. “We- I mean, I have not had much time amongst normal ponies since my return. Much of it has been spent dealing with the nobility. Many were not happy to see another princess be placed so quickly.”

“Ya, but that’s politics. Even in my world it was worse than dancing through a minefield in clown shoes.” Luna giggled, the simple act seeming to boost the scared ponies’ confidence.

---

Meanwhile, in a far away world in a far away Universe

A being sat in her throne, flanked by five thrones, two on her left, three on right, with one last being standing behind her and to her left.

“I’m telling you, Your Highness, I’m supposed to go on the right!”

“But then it’s not symmetrical!”

“Symmetricality can go pluck itself! We’re talking high society propriety right here!”

The queen pouted, steadfastly ignoring the snickers of her friends behind her and the increasing frustration of her butler/bodyguard.

Her bodyguard adjusted his tie and vest once again, trying not to feel too exasperated. He had, after all, just gotten out of the hospital two weeks prior.

‘Goddamn, even with magic, my arm hurts so damn bad right now’

“Anyway, Highness-” “How many times have I told you not to tell me that!?” “-...thirty seven, including this time. Very well, Miss Twilight, what about that scrap of parchment you have there? We all know it’s magical, but I’m afraid that the message on it may simply be a trap.”

Said message went as such, “I am the Xiaolin Dragon of Light. If you fight for peace, then I am an amigo of yours. Evil better beware though, ‘cause as long as I'm around I refuse to let the world fall to darkness."

Queen Twilight wanted to find some way of bringing the ‘Dragon’ into the world, her butler, Crow, thought it was a terrible idea, but would defer to his queen no matter what she did.

“How do you suppose we even summon this ‘Dragon’ anyway? There’s no instructions on it.”

The lavender monarch flipped the scrap over in her hands, eyeing it for any obvious instructions.

“No idea, Crow, but maybe we just… call him? her? forward? Can’t be too difficult, I imagine.”

Crow hid his face behind an immaculately pressed sleeve, “This will only end badly, I’m sure. And I’m still recovering from my injuries to boot.”

“Oh get over it Crow, me and the girls have it covered. I am Queen of Equestria for a good reason, you know.”

“You were elected into office after some nobles took notice of your raising the sun and moon two and a half months ago.”

“Hush,” standing and raising the scrap of parchment, Queen Twilight Sparkle announced with all of the ceremony and pomp she was capable of, “Xiaolin Dragon of Light! I, Queen Twilight Sparkle, summon you forth to this world! Heed my summons and come forth!”

A moment passed with nothing happening. Rainbow Dash coughed in the background before Rarity slapped the propriety back into her.

* * *

Luna and I, after getting over the initial awkwardness of everyone thinking she was the evil bringer of night, started heading around and playing games. We did apple bobbing (which neither of us were good at), spider toss, and I even got to do the Zorro ‘Z’ slash in a poster when Luna asked what my costume was. Overall it was a good-

“Xiaolin Dragon of Light! I, Queen Twilight Sparkle, summon you forth to this world! Heed my summons and come forth!”

I turned, expecting to see Twilight behind me only to see no one. Well that’s weird. I could have sworn I heard Twilight call herself a queen.

“Is something the matter Allan?” Luna asked, my stopping in the middle of the road having piqued her interest.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t think- hey, what the?!” Suddenly the Golden Tiger Claws were strapped to my hand and had a mind of their own, pulling me this way and that before slashing a portal and pulling me inside.

“Allan!” I heard Luna call behind me, looking back to see her jump in just as the tear closed behind her. All of us, Dojo included, after a time in the kooky light effects tunnel, were dropped onto a floor made of… Wait, is this crystal?

“Uh, you might wanna get up for this.” Dojo nudged me through the hat.

---

Crow started as a human and a decidedly not anthropomorphized pony dropped out of nowhere from a tear in reality. As they impacted the shining crystal floors of the palace -‘Goddamn this place is so gaudy’- Crow noticed the golden weapon attached to the human’s hand and the rapier at his belt and immediately shifted into ‘battle mode’, teleporting behind the human and pinning him to the ground with a foot to the spine and a knife at the throat, ready to spill blood at a moment’s notice.

“I see you’ve brought weapons into my liege’s castle. A most unorthodox manner of entry as well. So, have anything to say before I take out the garbage?”

“Uh, let’s see… I have about four señor. Sword of the Storms!” Suddenly the rapier on his belt faded away to reveal a sword made of the same golden metal as the claws he wore. The wind picked up around Crow, throwing him off as the man in black handsprung onto his feet and drew the blade.

Crow himself exploded into a mass of feathers, reappearing in his mission clothing and landing on his feet.

“So it’s a sword fight you want, eh? Then bring it!”

With more explosions of feathers, two pitch black katanas appeared in Crow’s hands, one with a serrated blade, one with a barbed tip.

The man tossed his hat aside, the creature wrapped around it yelling as it landed on top of the pony’s head. He took up a stance with the sword in one hand, holding it like the rapier it no longer was. “Come at me.”

“As you wish.”

Crow charged at the intruder, swinging both his katanas in hopes of scoring a quick disarming and an easy victory. As both of his swords failed to impact the golden scimitar, Crow, surprised beyond belief, unbalanced himself for a split second as he attempted to change his strike into a disabling slash with the flat of both blades. With him thrown off as he was though, Allan brought his foot and empty palm forward, tripping and tossing him over his head.

Allen did a quick spin of the sword in his hands before turning to Crow with a smirk. “Gotta keep those instincts a bit sharper than that to beat me hombre. Now how about you calm down before-”

“Fire.”

With one simple, deadpan word, Crow brought Allan to a pause before the the hispanic man had to frantically backpedal to avoid the twenty knives burying themselves into the ground at his feet.

“You were saying?”

“Alright, that was kind of neat.” Allan shrugged, the sword disappearing into a scroll on his back. “It won’t work a second time though.”

“Wanna bet?” Crow leapt into the air, throwing both his katanas, which dissolved into clouds of feathers that launched themselves and embedded into a huge tunic of armor that appeared around Allan.

“Two Ton Tunic.” He smirked as the tunic shrank into a regular shirt as a bulbous object formed in his hand. He pointed it at Crow before uttering “Juju Fly Trap!” A cloud of flies shot out of the open mouth, swarming Crow within seconds.

“Son of a bitch!” Crow cried, slamming back into the ground covered in flies. He rolled around in a futile attempt to dislodge the disgusting insects before finally giving up and disappearing with rush of feathers. Once he was gone, Allan took up a fighting stance, his hands in front of him as he scanned the room around him.

“Come on hombre. I gotta get back to Nightmare Night. I don’t have time to deal with you.”

Crow fluttered in right behind an oblivious Allan, waiting but a moment before tapping on the man’s shoulder and whispering, “Right behind you,” flurrying away immediately afterwards. Allan swiped where he once was before grumbling.

“Oh come on!” He threw his arms to his sides. “I already told you I don’t have time for this mierda!”

“Fine. SIDE KICK!” And Crow did exactly as he said, side kicking Allen into a wall in a slight spray of blood.

Strangely enough, Allan was still more or less unharmed, grunting as he hit the crystal. He noticed some of the blood spray that was on him before glancing at Crow. “Wait, this isn’t mine. Are you fighting me while you’re hurt? You loco?!”

Crow merely stood up straight, a faint trickle of blood dripping from his pant leg onto the ground.

“I’m charged with the personal safety of Queen Twilight Sparkle, and you just popped in out of nowhere with weapons. What am I supposed to do?”

“I dunno, maybe learn to not attack people on sight? I ain’t about to threaten anyone without a good reason, and that reason usually has something to do with the world being in danger or something.” As he spoke, the Wu he had on him disappeared into his scroll and he crossed his arms.

“Hmph. I suppose you have a point. Milady?” Twilight shifted her gaze from Crow’s leg, “Yes, Crow?”

“If you need me, I’ll be in the infirmary re-stitching my leg and abdominal wounds. Please keep safe while I return momentarily.” And Crow fluttered away, the only traces of him being the droplets of blood on the ground and the scattered feathers all over the place.

“Well at least that’s over.” He glanced at Twilight and the others who watched with varying degrees of interest. “I’m just gonna check on my friends.” He didn’t wait for a response before heading over.

* * *

After the crazy guy was gone, I headed over and kneeled down next to Luna and Dojo. “Hey, you two alright?”

Dojo shook his head vigorously. “Golden Tiger Claws. Wish I never had to experience those particular Wu again. Also, what was with feather brain?”

“Dunno. Apparently I threatened his queen who looks an awful lot like Twilight if she had hands and other human parts I won’t go into detail about.”

Luna moaned before getting up, looking kind of green. “Where… where are we? And why are there ponies on two legs? And how did we get in a crystal castle? There hasn’t been a building like this since we lost the crystal empire to Sombra a thousand years ago.”

“That’s because you’re in Queen Sparkle’s personal Friendship Castle, uh… Princess... Luna,” Rainbow spoke up from her throne, having shifted into a slouch as soon as Crow disappeared. I turned around, looking over the strange half human versions of my friends.

“So… anyone want to explain que demonios is going on? Cause suddenly finding myself in a crystal castle with weird looking versions of ponies I know and being attacked ain’t exactly my ideal way to spend Nightmare Night.”

Applejack spoke up this time, “Beats us, last thing t’ happen ‘fore y’all came here was Twi’ fussin’ around with some scrap a’ paper or somethin’. Made a pretty speech n’ y’all popped straight outta nowhere!”

Twilight said nothing, only blushing and hiding her face behind one of her immaculately manicured hands.

“Scrap of…” I facepalmed. “My totem. Right. I didn’t think it would spread that quickly. Probably didn’t help that I dropped in here dressed as Zorro when you were expecting a Dragon of Light.” I glanced around at the group of… I guessed they would be called anthros? Never really was into that kind of thing but hey, I don’t judge. “Did you call me here for a reason? You know, other than the usual Twilight reasoning of ‘I must discover everything’?”

“Well, Mr….?” Twilight started her sentence, but paused when she realized she didn’t know her guest’s name.

“Allan Rhodes, but Allan is just fine. I feel like an old man when people use my last name.”

Twilight continued, “Well, Mr. Rhodes, that… that actually was my reasoning this time. I saw your… Totem? appear out of nowhere and then I decided that I just had to learn about it.” She finished her sentence with a hesitant grin, a blush still present on her face.

I sighed. “Of course. Seems no matter what world you go to, Twilight is still Twilight. Still, I have no idea how I even got here so we might be stuck.”

Luna got up, the Zorro hat still on her head. Which, by the way, made her even more adorable… dios mio, what has caballo world done to me? “Perhaps this Twilight could be of assistance? That is, if you still insist that ‘Twilight is still Twilight’.”

I shrugged. “Worth a shot.” I turned back to Twilight. “So, you wanna help me figure out how to cross dimensions?”

“Of course! Helping friends is always something worth doing!” The Queen brightened up, losing her blush and nearly jumping out of her seat.

“Settle down, my liege. You’ve only known this person for less than five minutes. I’d hesitate to call him a friend already.” Crow shattered the moment by descending from the rafters and landing behind and to the right of Twilight, back in his butler uniform.

“In other news, the doctors managed to heal the worst of my wounds… again.”

“I see they didn’t fix the feather brain though.” Dojo muttered as Luna held back a snicker.

“I heard that little man! You wanna go!?” Apparently Crow had managed to hit his head on the way back, that, or he was hopped up on the massive dose of painkillers that he’d taken to dull the pain of magical healing and stitches.

I waved a hand. “Ignore Dojo. He doesn’t know when to keep his tongue in his mouth.”

Crow grumbled a little, taking up his position behind Twilight again, “Fine. But motormouth or not, next insult to come out of his mouth gets him thrown into the Roost.” One could practically hear the capital ‘R’.

“Um… okay?” I shrugged. “Anyway, I’m guessing you’re the hombre who suddenly ended up in a world not his own, right?”

“Yes, yes I am. How did you know?”

“It’s a more common story than you would probably guess. Apparently we’re called Displaced, and there are piles of us across the multiverse who got thrown into caballo and…” I glanced at the anthro ponies. “Sorta caballo worlds.”

“Ah, could you repeat that? My spanish lineage kinda died like…. eight generations ago. I’m afraid I don’t know what caballo means, though I can take a guess.” Crow shrugged, polishing his glasses with the handkerchief in his vest.

“It means horse. Like how the ponies in my world look like this,” I pointed to Luna “while the ones in your world look like that.” I waved my hand over the rest.

“Ah. Well that makes perfect sense. So, now that my adventurous spirit has been stoked, how, may I ask, would I find my way to these worlds? Would I need some sort of object like that scrap of paper of yours?” Crow adjusted his glasses once more.

“That would be a token, and you don’t actually need one. That’s just if you feel like putting yourself out there as a sort of helper for other Displaced. As for travelling between worlds…” I pulled out the Golden Tiger Claws. “These things somehow got me here when you called. Still not sure how though. I was actually hoping your Twilight could figure out how to send us back.”

“Highness? Thoughts?”

“Well, judging from the facts presented… It seems as though these… ‘Tokens’ form a contract between the user and the summoned being, so maybe terminating the contract would be enough to send you back… but, um, if you don’t mind…. could you stay a bit longer? I have a lot of questions I’d like answered.” Twilight blushed again, poking her fingers together.

I shrugged. “Sure. Figure I might as well warn Crow like Kat and Ben did for me. There aren’t exactly a lot of good Displaced out there.”

“Well then, let’s begin!” One thing constant about Twilight Sparkles nearly everywhere: Research is in their blood, and any amount of undiscovered information would be milked for all it was worth.

---

Twilight Sparkle’s Little Shop of Ho- I mean Twilight Sparkle’s laboratory

“Let’s start with something simple: Names?”

“Uh… our names?” Allan questioned, just looking around at the crazy tech in the lab as Luna and Dojo did.

“Yes, names. We might as well start off with something simple to start off the documentation.” Twilight had somehow acquired a near manic gleam in her eyes between the time they had left the throne room and descended into the lab.

“I’d not question the Queen; the last time someone interfered with one of her experiments, well, they’re still picking splinters out of Blueblood’s ass.”

Allan threw his eyes open in shock, muttering, “And I thought my Twilight was research loco. Well, I’m Allan Rhodes, Xiaolin Dragon of Light.”

“Princess Luna of the Night.” Luna bowed slightly.

“Dojo Kanojo Cho. Fifteen hundred year old dragon.” The snake-like dragon had wrapped himself around Allen’s shoulder, his costume having been abandoned back in the throne room for a set of monk robes he wore underneath.

“ C.. h… o… There. Now, on to more difficult questions. Hmmm, what’s your Equestria like? What year is it there? I’m assuming Princess Celestia is still in power since Luna is here, what happened to Nightmare Moon? Is there anything unique about your Equestria? What’s the most dangerous thing in Equestria right now, as in, villains, mad scientists, criminals?...” The questions went on and on, flung at a rapidfire pace more suited to a machine gun than a list of questions.

“Uh… que dices senorita?”

Crow decided then to save their poor souls, “So, how ‘bout them Displaced?”

“Right… Well, let me see what I can remember. Right off the bat I can tell you Kat and Ben are fine. Ben can be kind of rude but he’s still a cool hombre. They also mentioned a few other good ones. One was called Auric, and his token is a gold coin. Another is Gilgamesh, who apparently just shows up wherever he wants.”

“I see… So, what about Tokens? How does one make these? And what are they limited to?”

“They can be anything really. How they are made varies by the person though. I couldn’t really imitate Kat’s whole ‘mental message’ thing so I did what I could with my abilities. If you want one, maybe you can use a feather or something. I’m sure Twilight could figure something out for you.”

“Hmm, I think I’ll give it a go…” Crow concentrated, forming a sleek, black throwing knife out of feathers, charging it with as much mana as he dared, “My liege? Do I have your permission to do this?”

“Stop referring to me like that! And yes, go ahead Crow.”

“I am Crow Murder, the Queen’s Assassin. If you are in need of aid, call my name and throw my blade, and watch the blood fly.” With that, Crow flung his knife forward at nothing in particular. As it traveled across the room, it burst into a swirling mass of rainbow colored feathers and ozone, disappearing from one reality and appearing in nearly all others.

“Well that was flashier than what I did. I just gave mine to Kat and it sort of spread.” Allan shook his head. “Anyway, now for bad guys. The main ones they warned me about were Makuta Teridax, The Triad of Madness, and someone named Don. Also, a lot of Displaced may help you only because they want favors in return so be careful with who shows up.”

“Hmph, to be expected, I suppose. C’est la vie, though. So, I’m still a little banged up and tired, would you like to adjourn to the lounge for some refreshments? I could use a drink myself.”

“Just a sec.” Allan summoned the golden claws again before holding them out to Twilight. “Mind looking over these and figuring out how to send us back? I’d let my own Twilight do it if I wasn’t so worried she’d replicate them.”

“Of course! I’m always happy to study magical artifacts! … Ah… would it be alright if I studied another one? I’d like to compare the differences in the magical signatures of the two…”

Allan thought about it for a moment before holding his hand above his head. A dragon kite appeared in his hand. “Here. This is called the Longi Kite. It basically gives someone the abilities of a pegasus from what I’ve found.”

Twilight nearly squealed, snatching the kite away from Allan before disappearing into the depths of her lab, both Shen Gong Wu with her. As she vanished, a growl came from Luna, the alicorn looking down at her stomach with a blush.

“There was only sweets to eat back in our world, and they were meant for foals.” Allan chuckled before turning to Crow.

“Ya, some food would be nice now.”

“Alright then, we’ll leave Twilight down here for now; she’ll be fine. So, follow me.” Crow led the misplaced group upstairs into the foyer, stopping here and there to show off a bit of the castle.

“And here we have the library; it’s still being stocked, but it is filling up rather quickly. It currently boasts a collection of 1,632 books, ranging from simple children’s novels to advanced spell books. We can revisit here later if you like; it’s one of the best sources of entertainment in the castle… other than the TV room in the lounge, but that’s mostly Spike’s.”

“You guys have TV? Cabrones con suerte.”

“We have a lot of the technology present in early twenty first century Earth, though the automobile industry is…. lacking… in sports cars and motorcycles. Mostly cargo trucks and the occasional luxury car, really. I could go into detail, but that would take entirely too long. Suffice to say, the internet is also a thing here too. Oh, what fortuitous timing, a data terminal!” Crow paused in front of a large, clear sheet of crystal embedded in the wall at an angle, “This is basically a tablet computer on Earth, except magical in nature; you can use it to browse the internet in any way you like… though be warned, some things are quite different. Educational information is much easier to find, for one.”

“That doesn’t sound like any Internet I know of.” Allan chuckled as Luna marveled at the device, eyes glittering.

“Welcome to Equestria, Allan, we have much straighter priorities than earth ever did. Anyway, the data terminals can be found in most hallways, or if you plan on staying the night, there’s a private one in each room… just don’t try to remove them.” Luna looked slightly disappointed before following after the group.

After a few minutes more of walking, the strange entourage came to a closed door, one with delectable smells wafting under its surface.

“And here we are, the kitchens. Follow me, this will take but a moment.” Pushing the door open and shuffling inside, Crow waved to each of the various ponies within the massive kitchen.

“Golden Harvest, lovely to see you again, how’s Derpy? Apple Turnover! I haven’t seen you in weeks! How’s the cold? All better, I hope. Pumpkin Cake! What are you doing in here!? Pinkie! Take your godchild, will you!? Ah Sweet Roll! I’m gonna need to borrow some of your delectable rolls, you don’t mind, do you? French Roast, lovely as ever I see! A pot of coffee, sil vous plaît. Thank you~....”

On and on it went, Crow greeting each member of the staff in sequence, occasionally taking a spare plate of food or two, until his arms were laden down with trays of refreshments and drinks. He pushed his way through one last door on the opposite end of the kitchen, one that led to a massive room, furnished with only the best furniture, and dominated with a massive entertainment system directly to the right of a large bookcase.

“And here we are, the lounge/common room. It’s basically the hub of traffic on this level, every hallway leads to it at some point. Well? Sit, sit, help yourselves!”

The group sat down and started eating, Dojo shoveling down food rather pig-like while the others ate with some actual manners. Luna took a seat up against Allen, him not seeming to mind it either way.

“So, I recognize the little green one… Xiaolin Showdown, yes?” Crow asked, between immaculate bites of sweet roll and dainty sips of coffee.

“Yep.” Allan swallowed what he had been chewing. “Don’t really remember the show is the problem. Been kind of winging it.”

“You should have seen the first showdown he was in. It was quite comical.” Luna giggled as Allan grumbled a bit with a blush.

“I imagine it was quite comical. So, down to business. You’ve given my queen two artifacts of great, though not quite unknown, power to study. Now, me being me, I’m allowed to authorize simple trades. So, what would you have me give you in return for such a gift?” Crow leaned back and steepled his fingers, looking for all the world like a daywalking vampire in a butler suit and glasses.

Allan scratched the back of his head in confusion. “Trade? Nah, the first one was because she needs to figure out how to get us back. And the other is because I don’t see much harm in it. You don’t need to give me anything.”

Luna nudged him in the leg. “Perhaps you should ask for one of those devices we passed. I would very much like to see what they are capable of.” Allen seemed to think about it for a moment before glancing at Crow as if to say “well?”.

Crow considered the notion, “Well… one data terminal out of millions isn’t exactly going to be much of a problem…. I’ll need to get it enchanted so it lasts as long as possible… and I’ll need to fill it with useful files or somehow connect it to the Internet across dimensions…. but it’s doable. Very well, you shall have one data terminal for services rendered to the state of Equestria.” He seemed inordinately proud of himself.

Allan rose an eyebrow at this behavior. “O… kay than. If it helps, I’ve got a limitless source of electricity so you shouldn’t need to worry about powering it. And honestly, just fill it with games, movies, and stuff. That’s probably one of the few things I miss of human worlds.”

Crow sat back and thought, “Well, I don’t know if you’ll be able to enjoy such entertainment due to it not being from earth… but… aha!” He was unable to keep the smile off of his face as he leapt into the air and vanished before returning with a data terminal in a strange metal case and his visor.

“Whatcha got there?”

Crow grinned a crazy grin, “This is my visor, from earth! It’s not just any visor, though, it’s got everything you asked for and more!” He fiddled with both, receiving an affirmative beep from his visor and a slight glow from the tablet.

“So, wait, that visor had everything from your Earth? I ain’t no computer wiz, but I’m pretty sure that thing shouldn’t have that big of a hard drive.” Luna was just completely fascinated, both by the conversation and the devices.

Crow waved him off, “Nothing of the sort. It just combined some of the best technology on the planet to create a six thousand terabyte storage system with multiple backup drives. The visor functions as a really, really amazing smart phone, though lately the phone part has been abandoned for the walkie-talkie function. What I meant is that it has hundreds of movies, games, songs, tv shows, and even martial arts forms stored within it. Thankfully, the magic of Equestria allows the rune matrices on the data terminal to store almost as much as my visor, so I should be able to facilitate a good data transfer and fill this empty terminal with enough data to last you for years. If you’d like, I can include some of the local flavor too, though don’t expect a lot of it.”

Allan shrugged. “I’m sure whatever you put on there will be fine. After all, it’s more for Luna’s curiosity than my own entertainment. I spend a lot of free time training and hanging out with ponies.”

“I see, well I’ll be sure to include the best of earth entertainment… as I see it, at least. Hmm… Gonna need this… and this…. and this…. not that… hell no… nope… nope… yes… no…” Crow trailed off, his fingers working furiously as he transferred frankly ludicrous amounts of data onto the data terminal. The work continued on for the next fifteen minutes, Crow stopping occasionally to nibble at a pastry or take a sip of coffee.

Finally, Crow finished with a triumphant “Done!” and disconnected both devices, the visor vanishing in a burst of feathers, the terminal powering down as Crow etched something into its case.

“Huh. Here I thought that much info would take longer.”

“Psh, some of the best tech on one planet, and some of the best magic on another, and you think data transfers would be slow? Nah, man, this is easy. I was just sorting through folders and data collections. Well, we got the best of earth entertainment, from movies to literature, history to video games. Enjoy, Princess.” Crow handed over the etched tablet, motioning for the both of them to try it out.

Luna poked it with a hoof hesitantly while Allan just rolled his eyes and picked it up. He tapped it a few times before looking up. “Seems easy enough. Like a computer back home. Though what is this?” He turned the tablet over to look at whatever Crow had carved into it.

Crow traced it with a finger, one part of the etching glowing a faint, comforting blue. “This is a rune matrix, it ties the terminal to your magical signatures, so that no one else can use it without your express approval.” He moved on to another section, glowing a faint green, “This one is a protection matrix, which renders the terminal nearly indestructible and anchors it so that it can’t be stolen.” Another section, this one red, “This one is an ambient mana collector, which allows it to run off of the ambient mana, so long as it needs the power, at least.” One final section, this one yellow. “And this last one is an alternate power source that produces power from whatever it can, from wind energy to solar power. It also functions like a backup, preventing unrecoverable data corruption.”

The runic matrix looked like nothing but a highly intricate circle, but as it lit up, Allan saw the truth: Crow had carved the matrices to look exactly like the Google Chrome symbol. He rose an eyebrow at Crow.

The assassin shrugged, “It seemed like a funny idea at the time. Besides, the matrix naturally looks like that. The only other matrix that offers even remotely the same effects looks like the Windows logo. Well, another one looks like the Apple logo… but… well…” Crow trailed off and shrugged again.

“I won’t ask.” Allan stuck the tablet under his arm. “So, should we check on Twi and see if she’s done?”

Crow straightened up once more, disappearing from his butler outfit and reappearing in a simple set of t-shirt and cargo pants. “Alright, let’s go. The Queen should be done by now anyway.” He led the group from the room, leaving behind several empty platters of food for the castle staff to clean up. Dojo was slung over Allen’s shoulder in a food coma as Luna followed close behind, though she glanced at the tablet every once in awhile.

* * *

Once we made it back to Twi’s lab, she looked like… well, like she had been working nonstop for hours on end. In other words, like Twilight usually looks like. She was looking over something on a table with her back turned to us. Crow went all formal as we entered but I wasn’t really into the whole ‘queen’ thing so I just asked, “What up señorita?”

Twilight rocketed straight up, spinning around with enough force to completely ruin her already messy hairdo. “Oh, hi Mr. Rhodes! Well, I’ve completed preliminary investigations of the claws, and have discovered that one need only supercharge the claws with mana in order to cross the interdimensional barrier keeping our Universe from yours. Though, I have also found that one must first terminate the contract keeping you here. I believe that terminating the contract will allow your so-called Token to activate the claws and send you home. The readings for both seemed to indicate a connection, though exactly what it was I can’t be sure. I also took the liberty of duplicating the magic of the “Shen Gong Wu” without some of the more extraneous parts- the wager part of them was quite difficult to work around- and I made some copies of them. I hope that I haven’t overstepped my bounds.” She motioned towards a black, clawed glove and a strange harness looking object.

My eye twitched a bit as Twilight continued unimpeded. “Of course, I didn’t have anything like the original forms just lying around, so I had to input the magic ‘web’ into this gauntlet and this harness, though both should have the same effects as before. Are you alright? Your eye is twitching.”

“... Ben, I blame you for this. You convinced me Twilights wouldn’t cause problems…” I muttered to myself before facepalming. “And what do you mean ‘wager part’? That’s a magical contract built into them. Not even the most powerful magic users in my world could put a scratch in understanding it, let alone break it.”

Twilight blinked twice in surprise, eyes wide, “Really? How odd. It was quite simple to excise, though I suppose that was just due to me actually copying and holding the magical matrix in front of me…. Magitech is very useful. I suppose that a lack of incredibly advanced technology may have been the reason. The equipment in here allowed me to view the magic inside the gauntlet down to a very fundamental level, which let me extract and untangle the unnecessary bits.” She seemed very proud of her accomplishment.

I was about to snap, what with now having to deal with two more Wu, but then I realized something. They would be in this world, a world that Wuya has no idea exists. This might not be so bad. Still can’t let Twilight copy Wu, but I guess other worlds are safe enough. “Alright, I guess you can keep those. Normally I’d be kind of pissed but considering the amount of power it takes to cross worlds, you guys should be safe.”

“Oh that’s wonderful! Thank you, Mr. Rhodes. You’ve done a great service to Equestria today.” Twilight bowed and handed back the Wu. The kite turned into light, entering my scroll as I strapped on the claws.

“Well, if everything’s all done, mind if we hit the road? Dojo ate a bit too much.”

Twilight nodded, “Alright then, I hope this works. Ahem, Xiaolin Dragon of Light! I hereby declare our contract complete! You may return from whence you came!”

I looked at the claws and… nothing happened. “Uh… you sure that’s what-” Just as before, the claws began to go haywire, tugging me around the room before tearing a hole in reality.

“Luna, come- woah!” And then I was pulled in, Luna jumping in after me.

* * *

We were all thrown on our faces, the familiar taste of grass filling my mouth. You’d think I was cursed or something. Once I picked myself up, I looked to see us sitting on a hill overlooking Ponyville. It looked like Nightmare Night was all wrapped up and almost every pony had hit the hay.

“Well… I suppose one can grow used to such a method of travel.” Luna groaned as she picked herself up. She noticed the town just as I had and seemed saddened. “We… we missed our celebration of the night.”

Mierda, I’m stupid! I completely forgot this was Luna’s holiday. I placed a hand on her back. “Sorry you got dragged along on my crazy business.” She didn’t seem much happier despite the apology and it was killing me to see her like that. Of course, than I remembered what I had under my arm.

“You know, if you aren’t doing anything the rest of the night, I’ve got an idea of how I can make it up to you.” She looked at me, a hint of confusion in her sad look before it quickly changed to curiosity as I pulled the tablet out. I quickly found just what I was looking for: Portal 2. The perfect game for a one thousand year old princess. I slid two pieces off the back of the tablet, the small squares holding an assortment of buttons. I held the controller out to Luna, which she took in her magical grasp and began fiddling with like a curious cat.

“Just what is this strange device? And how does it interact with this metal tablet?”

“It’s not called a metal tablet Luna.” I chuckled. “It’s just called a tablet because it’s flat.” Luna blushed before looking away with a huff. I just laughed some more before starting the game.

And that’s how I spent my first Nightmare Night. Sitting on a hill, lying against a pony princess of the night and a snoring komodo dragon playing Portal 2 on a tablet from another dimension.

Dios mio, my life has gone loco in the past few months. I yawned and glanced at Luna to see she had fallen asleep snuggled against me. And why is it that she’s so maldita sea cute? I shrugged it off, lying into her side as she mumbled a bit in her sleep, curling up around me like a cat. Well if the two sisters were having a soft hair contest, Luna definitely… I yawned again … wins. In moments I fell asleep, the glow of the tablet and the light from the stars and moon above being the only illumination we had.

Author's Note:

And another crossover, this time with my buddy Jsyrin's story A Murder of Crows. Give his stuff a look why dontcha?

Comments

[TrombonePlayingPony]

5585305 Well ya, I remember that. I'm saying that in a later episode I could have sworn it was shown being used like a normal sword. The Xiaolin Wiki that I've been double checking doesn't say anything about it though so I guess I just made it up.

[Serefin]

Oh, I got that tingling feeling in the back of my neck as I read this. That's either a very good sign or a very bad sign.

[EternalIllusion]

Personally I would not have any information regarding displaced objects of power, but that's just me.