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Vinyl and Octavia's Christmas

It's the best time of the year hearts warming eve with there two little ones Viola and Melanie.

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Comments ( 3 )

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The Guardian and Friends

The Guardian and Friends #1 · Dec 23rd, 2014 · · ·

Vinyl and Octavia's Christmas

It's the best time of the year hearts warming eve

Make up your damn mind!

Neko Majin C

Neko Majin C #2 · Dec 23rd, 2014 · · ·

It's the best time of the 1A.)year 2.)hearts warming eve with 3.)there two little 1B.)ones Viola and Melanie.

1AB.) Missing commas.
2.) "Hearths."
3.) "Their."

Neko Majin C

Neko Majin C #3 · Dec 23rd, 2014 · · ·

This REALLY needs an editor to go through it with a fine toothed comb. The premise is a good one, but the execution is lacking. There is not a single line that does not have at least one mistake. This story could be so much better if you found someone to fix it up for you. I suggest going to the Looking For Editors Group. They have a lot of people who are very helpful.