Chapter 8: You Can't Please Everypony
Chapter 8: You Can’t Please Everypony
(Celestia)
***
Far from Ponyville, in the caldera of a volcane, a colony of dragons stirred. A lone member stood a few meters above the rest, perched atop a rock outcropping. The others eyed the teenage dragon curiously, before he blew a plume of fire into the sky and roared for evryone's attention.
“First they kick Firewing in the nose and out of his cave. Then their pet dragon shows up and eats some of Sharptail’s treasure!" The dragon dug his claws into the solid rock at his feet, before continuing. "Now the Princess patronizes us with piles of letters addressed to somepony named Twilight Sparkle!” He spat the name with disgust and incinerated a large handful of scrolls wadded up in his grip.
Most of the dragons turned and sauntered away. Every few years there was always some young drake trying to reignite a war with ponies. This was nothing new to them, but that didn't stop a number of dragons from sticking around to watch this upstart's inevitable failure.
“What's your point Ripjaw?” asked another dragon. This one sat in a crater of lava below the preverbal soapstone box Ripjaw was shouting from.
“My point is, we can’t just sit here and let them mock us. I say we find this Twilight and make an example of her. You know, to show ponies they should never mess with the likes of us.”
An orange dragon with a scar on his belly scratched the rocky surface of the caldera, causing all to wince. “And how do you suppose we do this without getting our tails handed to us by Celestia? We would have to be in and out before she shows up.”
Many dragons nodded and grumbled their agreement. No group of dragons stood a chance against that White Demoness. Dragon fire was hot, but nothing was hotter than the fury of the sun itself. Ripjaw it seemed, would not be swayed so easily.
“Then that’s what we'll do! We'll be in and out before you can say crispy pony. Now who’s with me?” Ripjaw said, raising a fist.
A small group of dragons formed before him. Most were relatively young, but two older dragons raised their heads in interest.
The meager support invigorated Ripjaw's words as he continued. "Isn't it time we remind the ponies that it's us who allow them to live their cushy little rainbow lives?! Isn't it time we remind Celestia that she can't keep us behind the boarder forever? Isn't it time we make one of her "little ponies" pay for disrespecting us dragons?!"
Firewing, fifth eldest of the Brimstone clan and third eldest in the Dragon Lands, laid back in his spot in the caldera. The elder dragon watched as his brethren took flight. A small snort of sooty flame, the only sign of his growing unease.
***
An earth pony and a white unicorn sat at a small table outside the fancier of the two coffee shops in Ponyville. The sign in front of the building read “Star-Bucks.” A frilly table umbrella shaded the pair as they spoke. A stetson hat hung on the back of a white wire chair behind its blond-maned owner. The unicorn held her coffee in her magical grasp, taking an occasional sip while her company looked at her cup indignantly.
“Landsakes, Rarity. So that’s what happened when me and the rest of the girls were too busy for your Fall Fashion Showcase.” Applejack didn’t notice the distracted look on the fashionista’s face as she stirred a generous amount of sugar into her cup of coffee. “I never took you for the type to cause such a ruckus. Hey Rares?"
Rarity remained silent, staring at nothing in particular.
“You there sugarcube?” Applejack waved a hoof in front of Rarity’s blue eyes.
“Oh... Not a ruckus! It was more of a mild disturbance. All I had meant to do was make him trip into the punch bowl, but things got... out of hoof.” The white unicorn took a sip of straight black coffee from her mug and smiled innocently.
“I’ll say. Out of hoof almost don’t cut the situation justice, especially when so many guards had ta get involved.” Applejack had a determined look on her mug as she tried vigorously to dissolve the mass of sugar crystals that now made up a large portion of her cup. “You were lucky Shining Armor came to bail you out.”
Again, it took a moment for Rarity to respond. “I should have never given that Prince Blueblood a second chance,” Rarity sighed. “Can you believe he only said he liked my gowns to get closer to some other mare? Sure she was probably more monetarily situated than I, but he could at least be honest about it.”
“Blue Blood is just too blind to see that yer more than a match fer him,” Applejack said.
Rarity looked as though she was gazing past the farm pony, twirling a hoof around her ear. Should I tell AJ? No, I have to be absolutely certain. I will have to confront Twilight first as well, Rarity thought.
“...Stallions. What can I say? They’ll even put money before a hot piece of flank!” Applejack said loudly enough for the ponies at surrounding tables to give her perturbed looks.
The unicorn did a spit take with her coffee. “Applejack! Don’t be so crude! It’s unladylike,” She gave an apologetic glance to the annoyed patrons.
“So you are payin’ attention. I’m startin’ to think ya didn’t just invite me here for a little break from what we just witnessed at the library. Tell ya what. I’ll start bein’ more ladylike when you start bein’ less of a drama queen and tell me what’s really on your mind,” Applejack said.
Rarity opened her mouth for a retort, but stopped at the sight of Applejack's determined look of deviousness. Rather than tempt further embarrassment by the orange one, she thought of a different tactic.
“So if what you say about stallions is right, you think I am a ‘hot piece of flank?’” Rarity proclaimed at a perfectly obnoxious volume.
Applejack started kneading her braided mane. “I uh... what ah mean to say is...”
Rarity broke in to spare Applejack's pride. “Enough about me, what about you?”
“What do ya mean what about me?”
“Do you have any interesting stories to share of recent events? Maybe about somepony?” Rarity raised an eyebrow. “I heard Twilight did some apple bucking with you at the farm. I never took her for the most physical of ponies, let alone one to get involved in showponyship. How did you get her to do it?”
“You know I’m not one for gossip Rarity, but I can tell ya that I met a royal guard this morning. He must have been one of the princess's personal guard, based on his armor and such. Unfortunately he was here to investigate the bunny stampede that wiped out the Carrots’ carrot plots. Of course the first stop would be ta ask the neighbors. At least he was a handsome fella.”
“So you like the strong, noble type, huh. Seeing as you are here and not being carted off to Canterlot, I take it they didn’t figure out how you did it?” Rarity raised an eyebrow once again.
“Now Rarity, you know I would never do anything like that. Besides, I don’t know how I could make all those critters listen ta me. This whole situation has actually made it a bit harder for us Apples, keepin’ up with demand for veggies and such. You know I cannot tell a lie; not a convincing one anyway,” Applejack preached, placing a hoof over her heart.
“You know I was just teasing, dear. I’m still curious about Twilight though? Maybe she had something to do with it. What was she like when you worked with her the other day?”
Applejack just scowled at the white mare. “I don’t gossip, Rarity. Besides, I can’t see her going that far.”
“Don’t think of it as gossip. More like re-telling a story. If you just tell me exactly what happened, you couldn’t possibly be doing any harm.”
Applejack reached a hoof to adjust her braided mane. “I guess so. It would make more sense if I started from the beginning though. I’m still a little curious about some things myself.”
Applejack began with the Carrot’s remarks after receiving help from the other Elements, following her refusal to accept help. She ended her story with how she had to carry the pooped-out purple pony back to the public library.
“How clever of you, hitting her sweet spot for The Princesses I see.”
“I feel kinda bad about it. Especially when she got all bent out of shape.”
“I wouldn’t worry too much. I’m sure she got over it.” Rarity stood up and slipped on her saddlebags. “Well thank you for your time again Applejack. I always enjoy our little chats, but I must get some work done before I meet our little bookworm for my magic lesson.” Rarity got up and started towards the boutique before she was stopped by a question.
“This wouldn't have anything ta do with Twilight and her robo-twin, would it sugarcube?”
“No. I was just simply curious about the details of that day, dear.”
Rarity turned to leave, but was stopped by a tug from behind. The unicorn stopped dead in her tracks to prevent damage to her fabulous tail.
Rarity was met with a hard look from the farm pony. “Are ya sure you don’t have somethin’ you could tell me?”
Rarity fluttered her lashes. “When would I ever lie to you? Now I must get back to work so I won't be late for Twilight’s lesson. You know how she hates being off schedule.”
“Now Rarity, you may have fooled everypony else about Twilight’s birthday dress and other ‘white lies,’ but don’t think I haven’t noticed.” Applejack put her hat back upon her head. “Now I’ll ask you one last time and be on my way, but if I find you were hidin’ somethin’ later, I’ll be on ya like caramel on an apple.”
If I am right, I don’t know what I'll do myself? “Oh, dear Applejack. I can assure you that I am not hiding anything you should know about.” It technically wasn’t a lie.
***
Celestia stirred as the glare of the afternoon sun crossed her eyelids. Her little assistant lay peacefully next to her, rather than in his basket. Celestia rubbed the sleepiness out of her eyes. She was not startled by her purple hooves, having grown somewhat used to it by now. It was strange not having part of her vision blocked out by a flowing pastel mane. Her horn was much shorter as well.
Nightmare Night seems so close already? I guess the next week or so will be my last chance to set a few things right for you Twilight.
The thought of returning to the castle should have been comforting. She would be going back to her room, her servants, her sister, but something in her didn’t want to go back.
Here, things are simple. Here, I don’t really ‘have to’ do anything. Here I have a chance to ‘hang out’ as they say. Here, nopony has to wear clothes to be proper.
The solar goddess-turned-regular-unicorn looked into the hat box as if it were her usual stack of paperwork. I guess I must. Sometimes it would seem easier to give it all up, but I owe it to my subjects not to. Time passed as she started going through each slip of paper with care.
‘...I thought they were cheating at first, but even after splitting the three fillies apart, they still seem to get all the same answers. They are all getting 100% of the questions right as well. You are the only pony I could think to turn to. Do you think they are cheating and if so, how?
Sincerely
Ms. Cheerilee’
This was the fourth note Celestia had read regarding those three fillies. Is it possible they...no, it is highly unlikely. That little filly could never charge enough magic. Very unlikely in fact...It couldn’t hurt to investigate though.
Celestia fidgeted amongst Twilight’s bed sheets. She was careful not to wake the baby dragon curled up beside her as she settled in once again. A pink cloud of magic dipped back into the hat box of complaints and questions of the Ponyvillians.
It is odd; even being away from the castle, I still find myself tending to the endless needs of my subjects. Celestia sighed as she levitated the next note in front of her.
‘Greetings Twilight
I’m new to town and was wondering if you could show me around?
Greetings from Fuzzy Butt’
Celestia suppressed a chuckle. Though I guess one perk of being the Princess is you don’t get flooded with jokes like that. At least I hope it to be a joke. Okay moving on.
‘Dear Twilight Sparkle
I think Muffins.
Sincerely D.H and Dinky says hi!’
Celestria threw the slip of paper in the large read pile. “Huh? That isn't a question, a complaint, or even a request. Next.”
‘Twilight Sparkle
I KNOW YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT. The royal guard I sent for will figure it out.
Carrot Top’
And next complaint that hopefully isn’t a threat or not a constructive idea.
‘Thanks for your support in my ‘research.’ If you want a place to hang and get out of dodge you should come by our crib. I have a new project you might like. I could use the company. Octy has been acting kinda weird.
Vinyl Scratch-DJ PON3’
The princess made a mental note to check out this new development by her favorite DJ before moving on.
‘Twilight, I’m still angry about how you upset my sister earlier today. You better make it up to her.
Cloudchaser’
“Was that a threat too?” She quickly lowered her voice, as Spike stirred a little. At least it looks like I’m almost done. She picked up the last note, which must have been one of the first in the box.
‘Why won’t you help me with my new trick idea? I’m not going to give up on this. I guess you just don’t want to be cool like me.
R.D’
That pegasus sure is persistent; I’ll give her that. Subtle, no. Celestia reviewed her mental to do list thus far.
Apologize to Lyra and Flitter
Find out what is going on with the CMC
Go check out Vinyl's new project
Give Rarity a magic lesson
Help Rainbow Dash with her new trick
Plus the remaining things from yesterday’s list.
Help Fluttershy with some unruly animals
Help Mayor Mare organize for Nightmare Night...
Oh yeah. I guess it’s about time I find a way to return Twilight and I to our proper bodies.
No wonder Twilight plans her life up to a month. I think I’ll be fine if I just wing it. This has to be far easier than dealing with the council and Equestrian politics, or at least more fun?
“Oh what’s this?” Celestia noticed a small glossy rectangle poking out from beneath Spike’s belly. The side facing up had a bit of hoof writing. She had to carefully jimmie it out from beneath him.
I’m sorry it has come to this, but if you don’t turn in that noise violation paperwork I may not be able to withhold this...bit of information. Celestia's violet eyes bulged at the photo on the other side of the threatening note.
“Oh, hey Twilight. What have you got a picture of there?” Spike said as he yawned.
Celestia quickly zapped the picture away with Twilight’s horn. "Oh nothing really." That cellist has played her last concerto.
Was that the picture Octavia took? I’m so dead. Spike quickly hid his guilty look and changed the subject. "That's nice. I just had the strangest dream. I thought one of your experiments was you, but then there was another you, and the other you was actually Princess Celestia. Well, more like Celestia's mind inside your body."
Spike snuggled up next to his caretaker and set his eyes on her lavender mug. "Isn't that just the craziest?"
"Oh Spike. What a wild imagination you have." She tapped him gently on the nose. "What happened to the real me, or my mind?"
"Well you're never going to believe this, but you had switched places with the princess somehow. I mean really, how could that be believable for a second?" He said, laughing it off.
“Why would that be so hard to believe? A lot of Star Swirl’s spells had much more complicated effects than that.” That pony really knew how to conjure up a mean black hole or quantum singularity. He was also a pretty good date, Celestia reflected.
“It’s not the technical details that get me. It just seems...irresponsible of the Princess to allow something like that to happen, especially if it weren't an accident.”
“Why do you say that? You don’t think Princess Celestia would have everything underhoof?”
Spike twiddled his fingers and looked apprehensive.“It’s not Celestia I would worry about. I mean I have known you a long time Twilight. If the Twilight I know didn’t freak out right away and cause some magical catastrophe...” He stopped worried he would gain the wrath of the librarian and considering the supply of books that could be thrown it seemed like a good idea.
“No, go on. This is all hypotheticals anyhow.” She smiled. So young and able to stand up for yourself. No wonder Twilight regards you with so much respect.
“The Twilight I know may let the stress of running everything eventually cause her to lose her head and she would likely not tell Celestia until it was too late, because she wouldn’t want to let her down. Considering the amount of magical power the princess has...everypony could be in danger.” He cringed, for the thought and in fear of how his maternal figure would react.
“The Celestia I know would not allow something like that to happen. I’m sure Celestia knows Twilight well enough to make her own decisions.” Don’t I? Yes, of course I do. I know my student like the back of my hoof...or her hoof in this case.
“I guess so, and I’m sure if this ever were to happen, Celestia would inform her sister and Shining Armor first. That way they could keep an eye on things.”
“How would you react Spike, ‘If’ this really happened?” She asked.
“Well, I would be a little surprised, but I would suggest Celestia switch back as soon as possible. I’m sure the princess would agree with me.” Spike nodded to himself with assurance.
“What if Celestia thought I could learn some important lessons? Besides, Celestia knows the solar goddess deserves a good break once in awhile. Anyhow, are you sure you could take the news without fainting?” The unicorn winked at the baby dragon before leaving the bed and heading for the door.
How did she know I fainted in the...it wasn’t a dream, then. Spike lifted a hand, as if poised to say something, but the unicorn had already left the library. He started chewing on a claw, quivering his lip.
“But...huh...you?” He never made a complete thought as he ran out after her.
“I guess it’s time to take out two clouds with one kick.” Time to go visit my little musicians, Celestia thought as she made her way next door.
***
Celestia stood outside Vinyl Scratch and Octavia’s shared abode. A purple hoof knocked forcefully upon the wood paneled door. After a few moments of no answer, she noticed two notes on the door.
‘Dear Vinyl and visitors,
If you are reading this I am currently performing with the Canterlot Symphony and will be back tomorrow. Isn’t that so convenient Twilight?
Sincerely, Octavia’
“Well played Octavia.” The unicorn snorted, before reading the second note.
‘Hey everypony! If you need me I’ll be at the edge of east Sweet Apple Acres and the Everfree, working on my latest invention. I would be working on it at home, but as you can see it broke all the windows last time I turned it on.
Hey, if you’re reading this Twilight, I don’t know what Octy is talking about, but you should come by and check out my latest project.
As always, wubba dub dub and see ya kitties. DJ Pon3 out!’
Celestia was about to turn and head for the farm, but instead started to circle the house. A thought crossed her mind. This may be my chance to end this. Most of the windows had been replaced, but not the one Celestia stood in front of. She stood on the spot, pausing to think about what she was about to do.
On one hoof, I am supposed to be a symbol of justice and uphold the law. On the other hoof, I made the law and I’m technically not that symbol of justice at the moment. I would also be sparing my student possible public humiliation and disapproval. Celestia started to climb in, but stepped back down. I mean is the picture even that big a deal? If I get caught, I will blemish the image of my student as a criminal and theft is always wrong. She put her hooves up like a scale weighing her options. Public humiliation of my most faithful student or disregarding my own laws and possibly painting my student as a criminal.
No, I will not let her beat me like this. She was about to hop through the unrepaired window, when she felt a tug at one of the cannons of her back legs.
“What the hay are you doing?”
“Ow!”
Spike’s voice caused Celestia to bump her head in the window frame.
“Oh, it’s just you.” She said as she made her way through the window.
“How long have you two been switched?” Spike asked from outside.
“Shh are you trying to get us caught? Just a few days...” Her whisper was cut off.
“When were you going to tell me, were you planning on telling me, have you heard from Twilight?”
“Not now Spike, I’m busy, unless you want to help, but I can’t teleport you in, in case they have magic security.”
“Nopony in Ponyville has security Celestia. Nopony breaks into each other's houses. They can’t afford it any...ahh!” Spike yelped as he disappeared and reappeared in the musician’s home.
“Shhh.”
“Twilight doesn't warn me when she does that either,” Spike said indignantly.
Celestia spoke like she was on a mission, ignoring Spike’s bout of questions. “I need you to help me find any copies of this photo. I’m sure you know it, because I found it under your belly back at the library.”
Spike looked uncomfortable then nodded, and reluctantly started searching. His head was still buzzing with questions. After a few minutes of searching they hadn’t found much besides lots of music sheets and electronic equipment. The first floor was a complete wreck, with clothes and DJ equipment everywhere. Celestia fiddled with Viny’s turntable for a bit and noticed purple shades looked pretty kickin’ on Twilight. There were various pictures of DJ Pon3 at some raves and dance. Octavia was even with the unicorn in some pictures, although she looked uncomfortable. The kitchen wasn’t much better.
Celestia giggled a little at the stark difference between the first and second floor of the house. Everything was basically spotless. Pictures of famous classical musicians hung perfectly straight in Octavia’s room. All that was on her desk was her latest piece. Celestia couldn’t help but to make a note on the page. It is a beautiful piece, but you could try a flat here. Her thoughts on the composition were interrupted by the baby dragon. He had opened one of the desk drawers.
“You are not going to like this.” He said as she stepped up to the drawer. There was a finely written note sitting in it.
‘I’m a little surprised you actually went this far, Twilight. I wouldn't be a very smart mare if I kept all the copies in the same place now would I?
Octavia.’
“Princess Celestia?”
“Yes, Spike?”
“Don’t you have more important things to worry about? Couldn’t you just put soundproof wards on these walls? That way you don’t have to turn in the paperwork and Octavia gets her peace.”
How astute, little one. I guess I have let my competitive nature get the better of me. Darn you Luna. “You’re right Spike. I thought about wards earlier, but I was too stubborn to make it that easy.”
She was a little rusty on the magic, but the wards went up easily. Not long after, Spike and the purple mare appeared at the front door once more. Before she could make her way towards the farm Spike started with a flood of questions again, sounding more hysterical by the second.
“Is Twilight doing okay, has she raised the sun yet, how much longer are you going to wait, what are you planning...”
The baby dragon was whisked up in pink magic and placed in the grasp of two lavender hooves. The purple unicorn started to shake the baby dragon to calm him down.
“Spike! You need to calm down and be quiet before you blow my cover. Do you understand? Twilight and I have complete control of the situation. You are going to have to trust our judgement.” She spoke only loud enough for him to hear.
She couldn’t tell if he was nodding from the shaking or if he was giving an answer, but she did notice the little episode was catching the eye of many townsfolks. There were a few awkward moments of staring from bystanders, even after she set Spike down.
“Aww no fair. Mr. and Mrs. Cake said I can't shake the twins while talking in third person,” Pinkie Pie said as she leapt out of a nearby rain barrel with a hoof-ful of party supplies. "You should go see Vinyl, it might be important. That or completely unimportant.” She scratched her chin in thought. “See you two in a few days at the big pre Nightmare Night party and then the Nightmare Night party. I just know it will be soo fabulistically awesomerific! I’m just bummed that I wasn’t invited to the big castle party.”
The appearance of Pinkie Pie seemed to have trumped the attention of the librarian shaking her baby assistant and the townsfolk resumed their lives. The party pony bounced away to do whatever it was she always did.
Spike was lifted onto Celestia’s back and they headed for the edge of Sweet Apple Acres. He had his arms crossed and occasionally held back the urge to ask questions. I guess I should go apologize for breaking and entering while I'm at it. Celestia thought.
When the time is right, I will get her to understand the seriousness of the situation. Even the Princess could be wrong...right? Spike held onto the dark mane with the pink and dark purple highlights.
***
Of course they couldn’t get to Vinyl without a hold up. Bon Bon stood in the path through the park to the farms. A solemn looking Lyra stood behind her. Celestia turned her head over her withers to whisper to Spike. “What's the name of the one in front of Lyra again?”
“That’s Bon Bon.”
Oh the one that called Twilight neurotic. “What seems to be the problem, Bon Bon?”
“Besides the fact that the amount of cataclysmic problems in this town has seemed to double since you got here and the fact that you hurt Lyra’s feelings, I don’t know. My candy sales business already has enough problems without malevolent forces and magical mishaps bearing down on me.” Her tone was cold and bitter.
Lyra tapped her friend on the shoulder and gave her a look of ‘you don't have to do this,’ but was ignored.
Celestia returned to the thought of ‘what would Twilight do?’ “I’m sorry you feel that way and Lyra, I’m sorry I blew you off earlier. It was very rude. If you still have that book I would be happy to read it.”
Lyra’s eyes lit up and she bowled past Bon Bon in a rush of excitement. “You would read it? I got it when I was using the original dimensional fishing spell that got me the first human artifacts. The way humans use magic with wooden sticks and travel in metal contraptions is absolutely fascinating. Although, I don’t appreciate how they call non magic users muggles. It seems kind of derogatory. ”
Celestia noticed the book’s title as it was packed in Twilight’s bags by Lyra’s magic. I think I read this one. She thinks it’s real. “It must have taken some advanced magic to procure this? I have been doing a bit of research myself. I didn’t want to tell anypony until I was sure of the findings. I would like somepony’s help with a spell that will surely shed some real light on the world of humans.”
Lyra raised both hooves in the air and squealed, “Yes I would love to! When can we start?”
“I have a lot of business to take care of today, but tonight might be okay. Just bring some bits for supplies and reagents and prepare for an educational endeavour. Lyra why don’t you hang out with Spike for a bit. I’m sure he can fill you in on the basic ingredients for an A.T.A.T spell.” I can’t have him blowing my cover.
Spike glared at Celestia with a look that said this isn’t over.
Celestia slung a hoof over Bon Bon’s shoulder. The cream colored mare gave her a look of ‘you aren't pleasing me that easily.’
“So you’re having some business troubles? Why don’t you take a walk with me?” Celestia ushered her along.
Before long Celestia and Bon Bon were nearing Ponyville’s farmland. “...and so all you really need is a new venue and new customers. Your sales license should still be valid in Canterlot as well.”
“Thank you so much. I never knew you were so versed in business planning. I’ll be sure to have a new shop in the capital in no time, and you were right. I can’t blame you for all the troubles in this town. It is Celestia’s job and Celestia’s principality.”
With that the two shook hooves and Bon Bon headed back to town to catch a train to Canterlot.
That may have not been what Twilight would do, but I’m trying to fix things and Twilight’s way may not be... the most effective...at least in this case.
***
As Celestia approached the edge of the farmland that bordered the Everfree, she spotted the DJ; or rather the rectangular metal contraptions she was tinkering with and a white flank adorned with a music note. She also noticed an extremely long extension cord running towards the Apple property up the hill to where she was working. When Celestia got closer, she noticed Vinyl's mane was a mess and she was slightly sweaty. The DJ was levitating a pair of pliers and a wrench. A few other tools lay at her hooves as she worked. It was now obvious that the rectangular objects were part of some speaker array. Judging from the sound it was no wonder their windows shattered.
Scratch quickly unplugged the system and noticed Twilight’s mane settle from headbanging. “Is something wrong?”
The DJ looked puzzled. “I’m glad you could make it. This baby was supposed to make a visual representation of the music from the speakers and be at least twice as loud, but there must not be enough power.” She dipped her head back into the box of wires and electronics.
Better to get right out with it. “Vinyl I broke into your house not too long ago. I didn’t take anything, but I can’t tell you why I did it.” She winced, waiting for the DJ to explode in anger.
“It's all good. I’m sure it was for a good reason. It’s not like I haven’t done my fair share of shady things. Heck that’s half of showbiz.”
The nonchalant response took Celestia by surprise and she fell to her plot in shock. Here I was worried about breaking one little law in the name of somepony else and one of my subjects just passes it off like it’s no big deal. What...what is going on in Equestria?”
Vinyl burst out laughing. “You should see the look on your face, it’s priceless.”
Celestia conjured a mirror and started laughing herself. This only made Vinyl laugh harder.
The two talked and shared stories for a time. Celestia learned that Vinyl Scratch wasn’t a bad pony, she just got into the wrong place at the wrong time, a lot. Whether it be debt collectors or crazed fans, she just couldn’t catch a break sometimes. She even took the law into her own hooves when she thought Octavia had been kidnapped.
As the white unicorn tinkered she intently listened to stories of Twilight’s adventures and how she and her friends saved Ponyville and even Equestria. I know you are much too modest my student, but you deserve some credit.
The conversation started to slow and Celestia started to take in the surroundings. Sure there was the Canterlot gardens, but that could never compare to natural beauty of the untamed wilds that were the Everfree forest. To other ponies it was a dark foreboding place, but to a goddess one did not have to worry about the dangers as much. The skies were clear and blue, thanks to the weather teams. Across from the woods, the Red Delicious and Golden Delicious apples were just starting to mature on Sweet Apple Acres. Off in the distance, there was a cluster of what looked like large birds. They couldn’t be birds though. What could they possibly be. She racked her mind until a certain letter came to mind.
‘I finally figured out how to send you coded letters, but I may have upset a few random dragons along the way. Keep a lookout in Ponyville for a while. Dragons may not be the only threat.’
Dragons, that’s what they are. Dragons! How am I supposed to stop a group of rogue dragons! The princess frantically looked around for something, anything to help. Even with the help of Twilight’s abilities in magic, there was just no way to stop the approaching onslaught of fiery doom.
***
To Be Continued...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ooh, that preview. Can't wait to see the finished story!
Oh, it's not that hard, once you grab the BASS CANNON!
Mebbe first
Anyways great story bro
I would buy pony merchandise but my Parents would find it
1748979Live free die hard man.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
1749004 I know, but this obsession has already gone to far. I do not need to feed it
1749023
What seems ta be the problem son?
Amusing as always, though you forgot a quotation mark in the part where Pinkie comments about shaking the twins.
Huh. Never seen a value pack. I always end up with the fun packs. Not that I mind. I do so enjoy card collecting. I've got 2 of the main set left of 84... I collect by the box of packs though.
Fun chapter! Celestia seems to be doing well. Except for the dragons about to show up...
1749023 I'd recommend reading back a few chapters if you're confused. Spanner tends to reference other chapters lightly, and some sub-plots have gone on for a while.
1748979
Ha! I watched the "Magic Duel" episode WITH my family. Was a grand old time.
631865 why do you think the fandom is sometimes referred to as the herd. :D
Tsk tsk. That note on the end should really be a blog post instead of included in the story.
I saw this listed in the "recently updated" section and delightedly went to read the updates. Six of them, since the apparently couple of months it's been since I started reading this. After a lot of laughing and countless smiles catching up, I went to give it a thumbs up...but couldn't because I'd already given it one months ago.
This started great and it's still great. Glad to see it's still alive.
I have no idea what Rarity and Applejack were talking about.... that annoys me.
By Tattoo Sheet, they really mean Cutie Mark Sheet?
1749765 That is'n t using magic, those are magical apples. All the stuff they did was very ritualistic an barley magic in that episode.
1749858 This story started before that episode and will end before that episode. Also the mane six bend alll sorts of boundaries.
1749980 Raity went back to Canterlot for a fashion thingy and ran into Blueblood, who shmoozed her by complementing her cloths, because she was popular. Then she figured out he didn't actually car about her or her designs and tried to embarasss him and basically started a giant chain of unexpected issues.
1750043 yes yes they do.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png
And that's how the bass cannon was born
If they aren't all Celestia/Luna/Rainbow Dash Trading Cards.... I don't want to buy them ever.
Ooo Dragons ooo.... i'm so scared, i've got super powerful magic... wtf they gunna do? THEY AIN'T GONNA DO NOTHIN' IMA JUST TOSS 'EM AROUND LIKE RAG DOLLS AND CRUSH THEY BONES, SON! UH, THAT'S HOW A REAL MAGE DO!
rogue dragons? Go fetch the flutterborn!
Finally!
About time another chapter of this came out. As for this chapter, gotta love how even when she's stuck in her students body, Celestia still can't catch a break. As for the actual Twilight, wonder if Spike is correct in his assumption and Something goes horribly wrong.
Keep up the good work! Just hope the next chapter doesn't take another month to come out...
YESYESYESYESYESYES!!!!!!
I BEEN WAITING I BEEN DREAMIN FOR A NEW CHAPTER!!!
2.bp.blogspot.com/-u80iQk03V0A/UKVsdOKiD7I/AAAAAAAAAh0/CTMFjb6zD5U/s1600/Stewart+Cougar.gif
1749444
We've got a deal worked out at my house. I watch dancing with the stars with my mom and sister they watch MLP with me
Iz nice
As for the new story:
Twilight Sparkle watched the device begin to spin again and sighed, "Oh buck this manure!" She turned her magic earthward and focused on dark power. Instantly, black shards of crystal burst from the ground around and under... and through the attacking mare's chest.
Twilight casually trotted to the weakly gurgling mare and whipped out a pair of shades, "Looks like I just to the..." She puts on the shades. "...heart of the problem."
YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
1748921 I'm glad you liked that. I actually wrote it just before releasing this chapter.
I'm guilty.
1748966//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png Wubba dub dub motha %^&*$#!. Vinyl! //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png thee are fillys about.
1749158 Thanks and fixed.
1749308 Yeah, at least I think she's having fun. I cant tell.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
1749379 Thanks, that is exactly what I would have said. I even have it in the story description to make comments to help people understand if they are confused, but they just say I don't get it an I can't help.
1749675 I think I may.
1749694And a portal opened an dFox shot down the Dragons after a barrel role. Celestia went on a date later and stuff ensued.
1749789 There is a Galaxy quest reference in the court scene, a James bond reference in the Doughnut shop and a Harry potter reference and more.
1749807
1749858 Oh, I also forgot it is illegal to attempt to make them, but it was an accident. Also, Celestia is to blame for messing up Twilight's experiment.
1749938 Thanks for sticking around. I have been super busy. Hope you like the new project too.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_cake.png
1750043 So today I made a deluxe duct tape wallet with camo and black duct tape for a white elephant party and stuck Rarity's cutie mark tatoo in one of the pockets. The look on the guy's face was priceless.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
1750137//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl2.png
1750337She may have all the spells, but Twilight's body can still get fatigue.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png
1750637//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy_umad.png I'm not getting into this one.
1752089 I can't promise anything I kinda suck at updating stuff.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_sad.png
1753169 Thanks. Cool RD ninja style.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png
1753361 I didn't know anypony was dis excited out this.//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_cake.png
1753761 Excuse me. I'm way too good for that little purple filly. Where I'm from mages are a joke.
1754358 Yeah, she can get tired from spell usage, it's called a Mana bar ... all she has to do is drink some healthy liquids and it will fill right back up. Or she could rest for an hour. Or she could wear gear that a Mage should be wearing and it will regenerate much faster. Or she could use an Evocation spell to regenerate mana. Unless Twilight/Celestia aren't an Intermediate and Arch-mage, I don't see how they would run out of mana before defeating some teenage dragons.
1754358 Way too good for the filly, eh? *glances down briefly, and when he raises his head he's suddenly in white face make-up with green hair, "Wait'll ya get load-ah me, honey bunches! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"
woo! new update!
i like where this is going...
BASS CANON, VS, DRAGONS!
1754514
I suppose so, but there are also two older dragons and I have always kinda felt that their thick hided wood be pretty good against a lot of attack spells.
1754951I see what you did there
To steal a line from an A Skylit Drive song...
"STAND UP, this is a fucking ovation (stand up! Stand uppp!!!)"
Celestia-damned good writing bro, can't wait to read that other story, and can't wait for more of this one!
That preview gave me a 'what.' moment for a second.
Celly got a rude awakening about her laws and rules, eh? Good update though, keeps me wanting more.
*sees a Spanner update*
)
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
*freaks out more*
*reads le Spanner update*
*takes off shades*
MOTHER OF CELESTIA... (or Twilight Sparkle, as it were
Tell me more, good sir. Your tale is most intriguing.
1756922 Was it a good "what" moment?
1757652 Glad you liked it. I wrote most of it two days ago. I had to do my homework, by going back and reading my own story over.
1757787
A similar 'what.' moment was when CDR and i conceived of the minigun that fired Pinkies as ammo.
I honestly do not know what I want to see more.
Celestia vs Dragons
or
Twilight vs The Big Party
both will be supremely Awesome!
evidently the party thing went completely over Celestia's head. Ponies should know by know ...
Always pay very close attention to what Pinkie says. Not even SHE knows what she knows!
1757787 Hey, it was apparently worth it, because your quality remains top grade.
1761681
Credit still goes to my editors for preventing this from being offensive to the English language.
A Harry Potter reference? Really?
1764256
sometime. Forgive me.
Yeah I'm shameless
1764309 Okay, I'll forgive THIS time. But I'll be keeping my eye on you.
Finally got around to reading this update...
And it was really good!
You missed the periods here.
Should be a question mark.
That right there, is how you effectively throw Pinkie into your story.
Huh, why do they need to summon these?
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRMjxPLL4vPIYOcwWSTf7ytUr_lncAy9foZ4HQYauqXmcE9q-WcQ
Missed some commas.
This is a great chapter though. I like how you made something big out of the letters Twilight failed at sending.
Oh, and the new story sounds crazy cool.
1764318
Rarity, you're doing it again.
I'm glad you like this story.
Thank you thank you thank you
1764872
Thanks for your helpfulness and supportive comment. These are what make my writing better. Also, good job catching the obscure Star Wars reference.
1770982 Yes, yes, you are welcome Rarity. Now if you will excuse me, I have sometime to be.
Good day.
1770982
No problem, I try to be helpful whenever possible.
Also, I wasn't sure that was a Star Wars reference, but I'm glad my reference paranoia was vindicated.
looks like vinyls gonna hafta go all bass cannon on them dragons
1754358 Where did you get all those emoticons?! Half of those aren't even in the basic selection!
"On one hoof, I am supposed to be a symbol of justice and uphold the law. On the other hoof, I made the law and I’m technically not that symbol of justice at the moment."
"She even took the law into her own hooves when she thought Octavia had been kidnapped."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvJiYrRcfQo
1963632
It's nice when someone gets the less obvious references in my stories.
okay, WHAT was the picture Octavia took?
Chapter complete....
and the Bunny ops rule.....
Status: Fried
Thought's on chapter: Starbucks......
Other notes: Celly is in a hoof full of trouble....
Next course of action: just keep dragging on and read
____________________________End of Post____________________________
ass....
oh wait the next chapter is already out...
you are forgiven...
For now....