• Member Since 8th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Friday

thenamless


Your typical Brony that loves chaos and fear. That is trying to please you with his writing.

E

Rainbow Dash and Applejack went to far. I barely survive their last prank. Now the Elements are all begging me to be their friend again.
I only have two friends left. Ditzy Doo and... The Darkness. It promises to never hurt me. It treats me like I'm its best friend.
I can feel myself slowly falling apart.

Chapters (4)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 84 )

So we're supposed to feel sorry for your douchebag protagonist for being so "unfairly" treated by the Mane 6, right?

Sorry. This just seems like a contrived scenario where the ponies are flanderized to make your OC look good.

Not even gonna talk.

5412562
No need to be sorry. Everyone has their own views.
Plus no your not ment to feel sorry for him.

I see some one has found my story enjoyable. That is all I need to continue this story. Even if it's for one person...pony...changeling...thing.

Awesome chapter you are doing a amazing job i can't wait to see the next chapter :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Oo hoo hoo hoo. Good, good. Well, to clear it out, grammar, but that's okay. I really like this. A fanfic where the main character is coming to hate the ponies.

I remember how I got Moonlight like it was yesterday. It wonder into Ponyvillie, barely alive. Looking for Fluttershy for help.

She doesn't live in ponyville.

Instead when she found her. Yes Moonlight is an female. Don't ask how long it took me to find out. Being Flutttershy, she freaked out and claimed it was trying to attack her.

In the first episode she approached a manticore that was already in combat with her friends and could of taken her head of (and was in position to do that) to remove a splinter she didn't even know as there.

The Ponyvillie residents tried to bring harm to it after hearing this. Disgusted at seeing this once I saw the Timberwolf in its condition. I fought everypony to get her back to my house.

Do you mean fought like full on combat or a verbal argument?

Where I gave it a purple gem where it contains magic. So the Timberwolf could heal it self with it. Not once did she ever attack me or act aggressive in any way.

How?

Over time I realise what she saw me as. Her father. How and why? I don't know. My guess was right after one day I woke up screaming in pain for hours.

The link tells them that I am a true friend to their species and will not harm them.

Probably pack not species if these things are like real wolfs.

I will hunt them down.

i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/652/918/68a.jpg

They listen to my warning when the guard was in the hospital the next day.

Their police force must be underfunded.

"Redheart what's wrong!"

"They took my best friend!"

"Fleur?"

"Yes."

"I get her back!"

What?

Cadence because Cadence.

A reason would be great.

Where am I? I'm I dreaming? All I see is darkness. Pitch black all around but I'm standing on it somehow. This must be a dream. I hope Luna is not here.

"We won't hurt you."

"W-what?"

"Come to us."

"W-who are you?"

"A friend who will never hurt you."

"W-what?"

I couldn't see who was speaking. However the voice seemed to a be all around.

Then I felt it. A cool breeze on the back of my neck. Breathing.

"We want you...badly!"

img0.derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/7/5/32640__rainbow+dash_suggestive_derpy+hooves_love+heart_reaction+image_mouth+hold_old+banner_artist-colon-toonbat_and+then+they+all+fucked_and+then+sex+happened.png

Sorry.

The biggest problem is how fucking aggressive he is in this chapter.

5441286
Life...
Also to the "what?" Why can't they be friends?
Yolo

An honest opinion, in no way meant to discourage you from continuing. I suppose the very beginning is the best point that bothered me the most.

Too much telling, not enough showing.

A Timberwolf as a pet? Sure, it's a great idea. Not 100% original, but nothing wrong with it. However, instead of describing how you found her, protected her and finally took her in, it would have more impact if you explain all that over time in multiple chapters. Readers aren't stupid, we know there must be a reason for everything. And we may always demand answers when confronted by questions, but try to resist explaining everything as quickly as possible.

Only give up information that directly links to the present situation. Best advice I can give.

To be fair, this is something I need to work on myself as a writer too.

5441487
Thank you for your opinion and fear not you haven't put me off this story.
I still have much to learn.

Awesome chapters you doing a amazing job I can't wait to see the next chapter:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

5441333

Life...

Also to the "what?" Why can't they be friends?

Yolo

What?

....I've no clue how to process this. I see a lot of issues but I guess the one that stands out, besides the princesses behaviour, is how fast everything is going with each event just blowing in a few paragraphs.
Still an interesting story.

5445429
I give you boys/girls a hint. It's meant to go fast.

I thing i noticed is that the Ponies are being racist and that is what I hate about ponies. It's on the show as well Example They use they word every pony Which is racist. and thats why i like other species

They where racist with the timber wolf to!

Um..... more ! PLEASE I WANT MORE!

Not even a minute in prison and he has the prisoners as his friends.... popular bastard :D

No more...

A new friend

Chapter 3

What doesn't belong!?

MOAR! also make the ponies seem like the bad guys in the end add not necessarily innocent in the future. You are doing a great job of doing it but just make sure you keep up the image. Also I suggest you to make like a pony guilt chapter. (Your choice)

Try to watch out for those occasional spelling errors but otherwise still pretty good man. :pinkiesmile:

Those little B*itchs They are so fucking racist!

This is a very good story you have here, and I can't wait to read more of it. :pinkiehappy:

Its been 3 weeks wright MOAR :flutterrage::twilightangry2::flutterrage:

5672324
Heh...I will get to it.

She saw through the window the fire's victim. A burning body of a Timberwolf

Begin the revolution......VIVE LA LIBERTE!!!

Luna...Luna because of her death hugs.

I would like to try one of those! :rainbowlaugh:

Soooooo...Celestia throws a sentient being in a changeling prison? She didn't even think about the possibility that the human could get harmed, if they absorb too much love or that the changelings could get stronger through this love energy and start a jailbreak?

Kinda funny. Celestia sure isn't the brightest! :rainbowlaugh:

5992004
All these years and she has yet more to learn.

5992333

Yeah, and I just noticed that she is a racist too. I mean, RD and AJ almost killed him and got no punishment, while he gets punished with two months prison for a dog bite and a nightmare? Celestia was probably the biased judge. And he wasn't even in the courtroom! Probably didn't even have a defense attorney... Kind of messed up. Harmony sure looks different.

It is really interesting and I'm already thrilled to read the next chapter. :twilightsmile:

"We are trying to help you! Why Won't you- ARGHH!"

To quote Lelouch Via Britannia,

Forcing your good intentions onto others is no different from an evil act!

Dude, for one, periods aren't the be-all-end-all of punctuation. Commas exist - use them.

6087197
Aaaaannnnnnyyyyy time now.

When is the next chapter uhhhhhhh:rainbowdetermined2:

"This is your cell and you are prisoner 0." He comes right up to my face. "Cause your special." 

Anyone else fanboy/girl-ing about this Doctor Who reference?!?!?!

They did his trial without him.... oh, right. Middle Ages, peasant have no rights. Races without a sizable army to enforce respect are fucked.

5441286 they never really treated him like a friend, invaded his home, made insulting assumptions, wouldn't let go when he ended their friendship, and oh yeah, landed him the the hospital, MULTIPULE TIMES. He's understandably pissed off.

6345720
Do two wrongs make a right?

6346041 if he not wanting to be their friend wrong the only fact he is in prison is because of shining, and after what they have done in the past it may not have been right but they deserve it.
p.s. late at night tell me if I make a grammatical mistake

More please comrade this is a great story

any chance we're getting more of this?

USE DARK MAGIC BRING BACK THE TIMBERWOLF

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!