• Member Since 15th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 19th, 2017

Obselescence


[center]Bye guys[/center]

E
Source

Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the Changeling Hives, feels a disturbance. Something unusual, something evil... something festive. It doesn't take her long to discover that the source of this dread is a pony holiday by the name of "Hearth's Warming Eve," and it takes even less time for her to decide what she has to do now: She must steal it.

Yes. The whole thing.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 100 )

Merry Jinglemas, y'all.

Should I be afraid to read this?

Did you just

5412938 I figured as much.

And merry Jinglemas to you too, Obs. My present to you is having made a Mii Fighter of you in the new Smash Bros.

First impression from the description: Why am I not surprised?

Further impression from reading: ...Still not surprised, but thoroughly entertained. Thanks for writing!

The bits where it rhymed and directly parodied Doctor Seuess were probably my favorite bits.

“It came without weapons! It came without strife! It came without the material goods necessary for their whole way of life!”

Was particularly great/terrible.

Very well done, but one thing bothers me...

... how did that changeling get a papercut with an exoskeleton?

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

5412949

Knowledge is indeed a fearsome weapon.

Happy Holidays and all that stuff.

I died laughing. This was amazing.

It was so touching a moment that Chrysalis felt her heart grow three whole sizes that day. She responded by venting the excess love from her dorsal spiracles, and the cardiomegaly subsided in short order. “Well,” she murmured, “that was pretty close.”

I died right about here.

That was brilliant. I... no words.

Manly Man’s Sure-to-Impress Battleaxe

And what, if I may ask, is a "man"?

5413028

It's an abbreviated corruption of "Minotaur(ly)" which represents incredible testosterone levels and quads that can benchpress a house.

5413035 Ah, yes, how could I forget something so innocuous?

By the by:

It's a an abbreviated corruption of "Minotaur(ly)" which represents incredible testosterone levels and quads that can benchpress a house.

How did you know I always wanted an extra "a"!? :pinkiegasp:

“We’ll take the food, too, and burn it for warmth."

Somewhere in Ponyville, Scootaloo is starving.

Dat coverart makes it look like Chryssi is looking to steal something other than Xmas, :twilightoops:

This made me laugh more than any TF2 video and Bronies React: Rainbow Rocks combined. Just one question. Why?

5413119

Some folks I know in a Skype chat were spitballing ideas, and somehow or another it ended up with me writing this one.

Uh.

Why isn't this featured yet? It needs to be.

I think this is over-rated. But It's still nice? I don't know.

Chrysalis had more than half a brain.

She has three fifths.

The cover art has me to believe this story shall be lewd.

5412962 Gotta be quicker with those dorsal fins. :raritywink:

This was amazing. Chrysalis is best Grinch. :twilightsmile:

5413275
TIS A TRAP! RUN FER YOUR *splorp!* Ick... Goo...

“Because shut up,”

Too funny~!

The Spike name's are hilarious, too. I died on "Spork."

Merry Hearth's Warming Eve Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanza everypony!

Ahah! This is exactly what I was looking for. I'm going to be reviewing this, and another story, later this week in my blog.

Thank you, and have a merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, and a ... erm. good Kwanza, i guess. I don't really know the term for that.

Also a happy Hearth's Warming.

The whole thing was great but it really picked up for those three paragraphs in a row starting with the heart size change, continuing through the true meaning of Hearth's Warming Even, and finishing with how she'd have to settle because she couldn't win every time.

You're a mean one / Chrysalis

the exhaust port at the roof.

Death Star reference? :rainbowlaugh:

“this tree bears obvious defects. You can see from its sickly color that it isn’t competitive with other trees of its sort, and it must be culled from the hive before its offspring can contaminate the gene pool.”

This line sounds just like Commander Strax.

“It came without weapons! It came without strife! It came without the material goods necessary for their whole way of life!”

*Alondro slithers through the cracks in reality, coalescing into a putrescent visage of trollishness and gutterally utters one croaking word* Cherngelerngs...

:trollestia:

5413737 you are a spiny bug!
You're as fluffy as a rock,
you're as hugable as a slug
Chrysalis
You're as kindness is lIke giving Fluttershy...
a great big fur rug!!!

Egomaniac nutjob Chrysalis is best Chrysalis.

This is probably one of the better/more demented Grinch tributes I have ever seen.

Very well done, many laughs were had. And you always write such a fun Chrysalis.

Christmas is coming...

(Wiener! Wiener-wiener! Wiener Wiener!)

:trollestia:

Aw, I think I might prefer this over How the Grinch Stole Christmas... or at least that shitty Jim Carry version

5413944 You're a cold one, Chrysalis.
Like a can of frozen piss!

Sucking love like a mosquito,
Deserving of a shot of RAID,

Chrysali-is!

You have about as much chance of turning over a new leaf as I have... of getting laaaaaaaaid!

...

Heyyyyyyyy! Who wrote my script? :C

No— no words. No words to describe it. Poetry! They should've sent a poet.

Now all we need is a Dr. Seuss styled animation of this story along with a catchy song about how mean Chrysalis is to complete this wonderful holiday.

Best grinch parody ever.

5413028

A miserable pile of secrets!

that was very cute and I got a very good laugh out of it.

A hilarious blend of alien perspective and obtuse egomania. This was truly jingletastic. Thank you for it, Obs.

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