Crazy cat lady extraordinaire.
From the Wasteland Bouquet to a dead city, our dear friends Rose, Lily and Ibis are out and about on an excursion when they literally have their parade rained on. The wasteland is unforgiving, and this eve is no exception. The skies open and the wind howls as the rain falls, sending the trio into an untouched design studio for the night. This is for Cascade Jackal's Hearth Warming Eve event.
Page generated in 0.115 seconds
Total duration
1,071 users online
1,739,733 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well that was interesting. It didn't really feel like a FO:E fic though. It seems as if the characters didn't really know how to survive in a wasteland. Random yelling, drawing attention to themselves, and unnecessary exertion, especially in that scene where they're trying to get out of the rain.
Also, evil rain is apparently evil. Are all the characters just really afraid of the rain or something? Theres not much reason to just bolt like that unless the actual content of the rain is extremely harmful.
Still, it was ok for a beginning. Remember that FO:E fics are probably the hardest to write because of all the criticism, so you gotta make sure you're good at writing, because people are gonna hammer you twice as hard.
I noticed a fair number of mechanical errors. Do you have an editor?
5863230
I'm definitely sub par with writing; I've been a voracious reader all my life, so I figured that writing would come naturally, but this says otherwise. I'm gonna have to restudy Enzo's guide and rework this, hopefully then it will be deserving of an Fo:E story and the Wasteland Bouquet. Thank you again for your opinions!
5863256
Per Reese; no, I do not have an editor, and mechanical errors? I'm a tad confused as to what you mean. Now, Echo, I completely agree with you now that I take a second look. I appreciate your constructive criticism, and I find it almost comical how different it is with your view of the story; I can definitely improve on those, given time and practice. I figured the rain was a good idea, howling winds and driving rain would be enough to get me running for cover, most people don't like getting their fur wet.
5864527
Oh, things like typos, comma placement, that sort of thing. The mechanics of the word and punctuation assembly. It can also be extended to include things like flow.
5864565
Aah, I understand. You'd think elementary mistakes like that wouldn't happen. I'll end up going through it sometime soon when I've got the time, thank you again for pointing this out to me!
"You'd think elementary mistakes like that wouldn't happen."
Hahahahah! Oh no I wouldn't! :D
Trust me, as far as I know, everyone has those little errors slip into the first draft to some degree. And even though each proofreading pass takes some out, a few always seem to sneak through in a long enough bit of text.
"I'll end up going through it sometime soon when I've got the time, thank you again for pointing this out to me!"
You're welcome.
5864624
What you just said means a lot to me; I forget how much of a process writing truly is sometimes.
5864637
Glad I could help. :)
Of course, the finest mechanics in the world aren't much use in fiction without something good to write with them (see my count of zero stories; while I have some good ideas and might one day have enough to start putting together a proper ponyfic, that day has not yet come), but so far you've at least got an intriguing hook and a recommendation from Cascadejackal.
5864781
I find it a bit comical that I can find even the tiniest mistakes in novels and other things *Including Steven King's "Cell". Don't remember what page I found it on, but there was a comma used as a full stop* But I became blind to them when writing myself. Perfect logic.
5864792
Writing and reading are two different things, an author can read his story over 12 times and still miss errors. This is why editors/proofreaders are so important. I could proofread it, if you want. I have some editing experience, but i'm not quite up to level with some of those other editors, so I cant exactly call myself one
5865131
I might call upon you for that, but it won't be for a time, my work is dominating my life at the moment, I'm afraid. Thank you kindly for the offer though, Echo!
5864792
It's more difficult to spot errors if your brain already knows what the text is meant to mean, I think, because it often helpfully skates over things it knows are wrong. I don't have specific evidence to back that up, but it seems a reasonable hypothesis.