An Even Worse Self Insert

by ROBCakeran53

7: I'm Stepping Out with a Memory Tonight

I’m stepping out, with a memory tonight.
To paint the town the way we used to do.
I’ll dine at the old cafe, where we had so much fun.
And order cocktails for two, instead of the usual one.

I followed along with the song lyrics, singing quietly, as I watched the record spin. The lyrics were short, but they held a lot of meaning. It was like, trying to remember a time, and relive it again.

“He hasn’t blinked.”

I looked over to Twilight, sitting on my couch beside me on the middle cushion. What sat in her usual spot, however, had given the mare pause when she came by this night. Currently, Twilight and my cat, Grayson, were in a staring contest with one another. Both sitting still, front legs standing straight, tails wrapped around to their right, and not breaking eye contact.

“He probably blinks when you blink.”

It was hard to see Twilight’s face, but I could catch a glimpse of her trying to slowly blink her eyes, trying to catch the feline blink. Quickly, Twilight blinked, so focused on her expression I wasn’t even paying attention to Grayson as he continued to stare at the mare.

“Did you see him? Did he blink?”

“I dunno.”

Twilight turned her head slightly towards me, but not breaking eye contact with my cat. “What do you mean, you’re staring at him too!”

“Actually, I was staring at you. Your face is making funnier expressions than his.”

Twilight huffed, centering her head once again towards Grayson.

“I still don’t see what the big deal is,” I said, looking back to my record player with a sip of tonic water.

“I’ve been here on five occasions, and not once did I see this cat. Then you tell me you’ve had him for, what?”

“Seven or so months?” I say, unsure of myself. “Besides, what’s the big deal? He’s just a cat.”

“I know, but he’s just sitting there, staring at me…judging me…” Twilight whispered the last bit.

The turntable shut off with a clunk, and I stood to start the song again. Before I sat, I turned around to get a look at the two. With a shrug, I decide to end this game of wits.

I reached down to the floor, grabbing a bottle cap. “Hey, Grayson!” I said, tossing the cap to his front paws.

The cat had no reaction, just continued to stare.

I leaned on the wall, taking off one of my dirty socks. I threw it at the cat, it landing on his back, then slid down to the couch. I could see his resolve breaking. I have one more thing to try, and if that fails I’ll have to bring out the secret weapon.

“Hey, Shit Head.” I reached down for my nearly empty bottle of tonic water, turning it on its side and laying it on the floor, kicking it. It rolled a little, the waves of the liquid making the bottle wobble back and forth.

Grayson’s ear twitched. Huh, he’s really hell bent on starting Twilight down, isn’t he? Very well.

I walk over to the other side of my bedroom, and grabbed the rolled up bag of potato chips, opening it purposely loud to gain his attention. Both cat and pony sets of ears swivel towards me. Huh, I wonder if Twilight likes potato chips?

I walked back over, and stood before the two. Reaching in, I took out two chips, one noticeable bigger than the other.

“You want a treat?” I asked.

“You give your cat potato chips as treats?” Twilight asked back.

“His favorite toys are bottle caps, dirty socks, and bottles with liquid in them. Why are potato chips the weird thing in this situation?” I said, leaning down between the two.

Neither broke eye contact, so I did the only sensible thing a man could do in this situation. I placed the larger potato chip on Twilight’s muzzle, and the smaller one on Grayson’s head. Both parties reacted the way I’d hoped and expected. They finally broke eye contact at the same time to blink and stare at me, like I was a complete idiot.

Which, in all fairness I was, but I digress.

“There, I win,” I said, stepping over to the turntable to start the song again.

Sitting back down on my couch, Grayson lowered his head, the chip falling to the floor, the cat quickly following it to start taking bites out of it. Twilight, feeling satisfied, retook her position on the other end of the couch. With her magic she levitated the chip off her muzzle and took a bite out of it. Chewing it carefully, a happy smile graced her lips as she ate the other half. At their antics, I hadn’t realized I was laughing until Grayson bit one of my toes exposed toes.

“Ow, damn Shit Head!” I lifted my bare foot, rubbing the toe. “I give you a treat, and this is how you repay me?”

“I think that was for laughing at our expense,” Twilight said, having at some point taken the bag of chips from me and was munching on them. She also dropped a couple more smaller ones onto the cushion between us, and Grayson jumped up to sit with us and eat too.

“Oh, how quickly the tables have turned,” I said with a roll of my eyes, taking the last swig of tonic water from the glass. I went to take one of Grayson’s chips, but with a quick smack of a claw, he halted my hand’s advance.

Twilight reached a hoof down to Grayson, petting him. “Good kitty.”

“Hah, when I adopted this cat, the lady told me he was a man’s cat. What a crock of shit…” I licked the small drop of blood off my hand.

“Wait, did he draw blood?” Twilight asked, sounding actually worried.

“Yeah, of course. He’s a cat, he has claws. Claws cut, blood comes from cuts.”

“Do you need a bandage, or peroxide?”

I shrugged, confident the small trickle of blood would stop eventually.

Or, you know, heaven forbid, it could fall and stain the couch. Because, you know, the couch was old, and no one cares about stuff that’s old and worn out? So what if it gets a little stain on it, or a little frayed on the edges. No one really cares...

“Hell if I care…”

“Care about what?”

Shit, I was doing that talking out loud thing again.

Looking around my bedroom, there was so much old.

Forgetting my previous thought, I looked over to my cabinet radio beside my desk. Covered in dust, paperwork, and miscellaneous junk, it was not the normal thing to see in a modern bedroom, let alone an entire house.

“I’ve always wondered…” I began, looking to Twilight a moment, the mare giving me her full attention. “I just, what was it like?”

“What was what like?” she asked.

“My stuff. My collections. Everything that there is in this one room, is almost eighty years worth of history. So I just wonder, what did each thing go through?”

Twilight followed my gaze, seeing the radio. “I’m not sure I follow.”

I struggled to find my words. Thankfully, my record player chose that moment to go silent with its traditional clunk. I stood, repeating the song, and taking a seat. Grayson meowed in protest at my pushing him out of my spot, but I didn’t care. Damn cat needed to learn his place anyway…

“I’ve always wondered…”

“You’ve said that three times already.”

I gave Twilight a stern glare, and for the first time I could remember she closed her lips with the motion of her hoof.

“What did it all go through?” I asked, no one in particular. Twilight continued to look at me with confusion, but still silent. I decided to elaborate further.

“What happened to each piece of history that I own, that brought it to my possession? How many families did it go through, how long did it sit in a garage or basement before I got it? What kind of story could it tell, if they could talk?”

Twilight blinked, then nodded her head, either understanding finally, or trying to humor me.

“Well, I guess there’s no real way to know, is there?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Nope. But still, I wonder. I can’t help but guess, or speculate some sort of story for everything I own.” I turned to the mare, placing my left leg on the cushion half indian style. “You know, I remember where and when I got most everything I own?”

Twilight shook her head.

“It’s true,” I continued, “take the radio over there. I got that… five years ago, in the town of Linden, a lady off of Silver Lake road wanted it to go to a good home. She gave it to me, no charge, no price. Just a promise that I’d be that good home.”

“So, are you worried you haven’t?”

I rose a brow at the purple mare. “I’m… honestly not sure. I mean, I could imagine worse places, but then again, it’s been sitting there for years now. The tuning band is broken and a condenser inside is shot so it only hums loudly, but still... “

“Still what?”

“Just, having it here. In my room, it makes me…”

“Sad?”

I shook my head. “No, actually it makes me happy. Having something vintage like this up here. You know, I never cared much for television, but radio. Oh, I grew up listening to radio all the time. Then even my first real job, all I had was the radio in the car for entertainment.

“Music is a huge part of me, and while I’ve never heard any of my records on actual radio, the idea of a shared musical outlet like it makes me smile. Too many people forget the humble beginnings, instead focused on what music they want and think they need now. M-P three players, I puds, it’s all destroying what radio was, and still is, about.”

“And what is that?” Twilight asked.

I turned back to my now silent record player. “Life.”

Using her magic, she began the song again.

“Life is something you can’t always make work in your favor. You can’t always have it go according to plan. There is always something, or someone, between you and what you want, and you have to fight for it. It’s just like what radio is. You just have to go with the flow. Listen to what everyone else does, and sometimes you’re lucky to get your song request through when you want it, and it goes your way. But for the most part, it’s all up in the air.”

My bedroom was silent for several long moments, Grayson having finally gone into a salt-induced comma between us. I patted his grey fur, making sure to keep clear of his exposed belly, unless I wanted him biting me anymore tonight, which I didn’t.

“You know…” Twilight began, looking at my record player. “Radio is still fairly primitive in Equestria.”

I looked at the mare. “Oh, really?”

She nodded her head.

We sat silently for a few moments, and with the clunk the turntable went silent. I stood, reaching over to start the song again, but stopped. I looked at the purple mare on my couch, her large eyes staring intently at my player, while Grayson enjoyed being slowly pet by her hoof. I looked back to the record player, which in reality, it was more than just that.

It was a record player, 8 track player, and above all else… a radio.

“Eh, what the hell.”

It had been a long time since I’d used this old thing for something else other than my record collection. I grabbed the knob on the front that changed function, and turned it to FM STEREO. For the record, I didn’t know many AM stations, but well, there’s always time to learn.

Author's Note:

Sometimes, I take for granted what radio has done for the world. Without it, we wouldn't have many of the things we love and enjoy. So next time you find yourself bored, with nothing to do, don't go for that remote. Get that radio out, and listen to a station. Any station. Something that moves you, drives you, and makes you sit back and relax.

We have five senses for a reason, after all. Vision is the easy one. Try just hearing the world for a change.

Comments

[pahnazd]

salt-induced comma

Does it divide sweet and spicy sentences?

Either way, the tables did turn quite fast. Twi certainly knows how to get a cat's affection; food!

And indeed, radio is something special... as long as you listen to the good stuff.
Though to be honest, I don't really listen to it if I don't count my car. Then again, I don't even watch the TV - instead, a PC is where I spend my time at.
But this made me want to tune in to a good station, at least for a while.

[Dustchu]

And here we are... hmm...

I like this story man, it's really good! Seems like an odd place to leave off but, eh, I liked it!
Good show, and keep it up Rob!

[RainbowSparkle3]

This story always relaxes me. And makes me laugh like a madman. Pinkie would be proud.

[calm melody]

You know Rob... I feel like mentioning pandora as an argument for more modern devices, while still having that radio like quality. Sure you can like and dislike tracks, but what plays on a given station is a bit up in the air.

[calm melody]

8677854
Aye. I understand that proper shellac discs are gradually becoming rarer too, so you have quite the collection it sounds like. Also i forgot that those weren't LPs. Certainly from before my time, in fact i think 8 tracks were on their way out too. :p

The fiance has a nice collection of LPs, mostly classic rock though. Personally, I'm a bit of a fan of similar to the stuff you've been linking to, allthough i have to admit that they're mostly artists I've not heard of, or at least not directly. Still meaning to get a bobby darin record at some point.

[nemryn]

“Well, I guess there’s no real way to know, is there?” she asked.

C'mon Twilight, don't you know like three different Come-to-Life spells?

[PointBreak]

loved the sentiment you put there for radio, it truly does change your whole experience of music listening when your not in control of the songs that are playing. i would love to listen to radio, it's just that nowadays most stations are just pop songs, edm etc. wish there was a secret radio station which played the classics all day all night. the perfect kind of songs to die to.