Rehearsal
Internet was introduced to Equestria a couple years ago. Viral videos of Ponytonix singing Acapella covers of well known artists such as Sapphire Shores and other quickly circulated around Ponyville. With Ponytonix's growing popularity, there was not much that could stop the discussions about a couple of the band member's sexual orientations or talks about who in the band was the best.
Nopony in Ponytonix thought they were the best. Hi hat was an incredible beat boxer and could mimic almost any good beat with only his voice. Tremolo was the only female in the group, which surprisingly enough couldn't hold her back. Tremolo's incredible lung power left her able to hold a note for almost 3 minutes without breathing. Falsetto had an incredible voice range and could sing higher than most mares.
G sharp was the glue that held the group together, as his thick but smooth middle range voice, as well as his Haytalian accent was incredibly stunning. Synthesizer could mimic pulsing electronic beats and had a bone-chilling deep register that all mares swoon for. Everypony in the group was an Earth Pony, and didn't rely on flying stunts, magic, or instruments to complement their singing.
"Hello my name is Princess Celestia." Said Falsetto, voicing his best Princess Celestia imitation
"And my name is Princess Luna." Replied G Sharp, doing an average at best imitation of Luna. Synthesizer, Tremolo, and Hi hat laughed at G. Sharp's pathetic attempt at imitating Princess Luna. "What. Hell at least I tried."
"Tried... and FAILED." Said Tremolo mockingly. Synthesizer then made a noise that sounded like a jeopardy buzzer.
"So this is our rehearsal?" Falsetto said laughing. They try to make all of their rehearsals and get togethers fun, but they were really supposed to be practicing for their live performance on Saturday. Falsetto waved to the piano in the corner of their reverb room, as if saying hello and then trotted over and started pounding on the keys. "Okay Synthesizer, scales."
"I'm shooting for record lows this time." Synthesizer smiled.
"Really?" Hi hat said, raising an eyebrow. "Your last record was G0. A little lower and their won't be a low enough key to compensate your pitch."
"That's okay. Falsetto is a great pitch reader right?" Synthesizer winked at him.
"And I believe you just finished speaking at a G2." Falsetto said in tune. "And right now I'm humming at a C4." He finished his sentence with a hum on perfect pitch as he put his hoof onto the piano and played the same note. "Alright be ready, I'll go lower starting at that same pitch middle C."
"Ah ah ah ah ah." Synthesizer said, singing in the upper half of his range. He stumbled a little bit on the pitch but it didn't faze him much. The scales went down to C3 and Synthesizer kept intoning the notes. This time his voice had much better stability. After singing a perfect and bone chilling D2 Falsetto asked.
"Keep going?"
"I told you I'm shooting for the record and I'm trying to hold this pitch so pleeeeassse keep going." Synthesizer said all in D2. He sounded almost like a monster at the pitch of which he was speaking. Falsetto kept doing scales and Synthesizer found himself not being able to go any lower after B0. He shrugged and cleared his throat. "Well I'm still one of a kind. I know of no other stallion that can sing that low besides Big Macintosh."
"Big Macintosh is a freak." Said Tremolo smiling.
"My big apple cream pie." Falsetto said, swooning.
"Big Mac is straight." Synthesizer said laughing.
"It's a crush." Falsetto said pouting. "Our sexual orientations do not have to match up." Falsetto cleared his throat and quickly tried to change the subject. "How low can you go Hi Hat?"
"Um." Hi Hat said shyly. "I'm the beat boxer remember?"
"Yeah I know." Falsetto said, walking up to Hit Hat encouraging him. "It doesn't mean your voice doesn't matter to us."
"Well can't you just name off percussion instruments like last time." Hi Hat smirked and pursed his lips, imitating the sound of a snare drum. Falsetto smiled and returned to the keyboard.
"We've done that the last five rehearsals, and you've been perfect right down to the triangle." Falsetto praised. Hi Hat blushed. "We need to try one other instrument." Hi Hat nodded and straightened his posture. "How high can you sing?" Hi Hat wiggled a little bit and stuck his head confidently high in the air, what followed was an ear splitting noise likened to the sound of a train squealing to a stop. "Okay OKAY!" Falsetto yelled.
Hi Hat stopped and smiled. "What pitch was that?" Falsetto rolled his eyes in frustration.
"Your pitch was flying all over the place. Migrating between an A5 and an E6." Falsetto cleared his throat and stuck one of his hooves deep inside his eardrums, as if to patch the hole caused by Hi Hat's voice still echoing in his mind. "But that was in no way natural."
"Scales at C5." Falsetto braced himself for impact. "And use falsetto if you have to, but do it without breaking the windows this time."
"I didn't break any windows." Hi Hat said defensively.
"Oh yeah?" Falsetto said sarcastically. "Feel that breeze? And the glass shards you're stepping in?" Hi Hat looked down to his hoof, which now had several glass shards embedded in it.
Hi Hat carefully picked the glass shards out of his hoof and exhaled. "Am I gonna sing or naw?" He said gaily, pursing his lips.
Falsetto glared at Hi Hat accusingly. "Do that voice again and you better watch what I put in your water." Hi Hat dropped his water cup immediately. "Okay." Falsetto pressed his hoof against the keys, going down from C5.
Hi Hat sang on pitch, but in a lower octave.
"Hi Hat." Falsetto said impatiently. "You're transposing."
"Well." Hi Hat responded. "It's your fault for making me self conscious about my high notes."
"Fine." Falsetto whined. "We'll start at C4 and make our way up." Hi Hat gulped. Falsetto pressed the keys. Hi Hat strained his voice until he felt like he couldn't sing comfortably without falsetto (the voice not the pony) Falsetto exhaled. "You could sing higher in..." Hi Hat shook his head.
"No NO." Hi Hat yelled nervously. "I refuse to be responsible for your hospital stay."
"Using your normal falsetto I feel like you could go higher without racking up any medical bills." Falsetto said encouragingly.
"Do it." G Sharp chanted.
"Show that treble clef who's boss." Synthesizer chirped.
"Sing like a mare." Tremolo sang happily.
"A4. Scales up from here Hi Hat." Falsetto pounded on the corresponding piano key. Hi Hat inhaled. Falsetto played the notes going up the scale. Hi Hat used his raspy falsetto to match pitch.
"There you go rockstar." Tremolo clapped.
"Keep singing." G Sharp chanted. Hi Hat continued up from C5 to Fb5 and took a breath.
"No amount of peer pressure will make me go any higher than that." Hi Hat said.
"Quick! Mare scream in a horror movie!" G Sharp bellowed. Hi Hat screamed like the mare in question either had laryngitis or needed therapy. Tremolo laughed uncontrollably. "Now do the chainsaw slicing into her flesh." Hi Hat simultaneously made slicing and splattering noises, as well as voicing the engine of the chainsaw. All the ponies stood in awe.
"Okay." Falsetto said nervously. "Let's stop before you give me graphic nightmares."
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Why do we need to know their sexualities when there's no romance?
5422381 There might be romance later on, you never know
5422545
Then put the fucking romance tag on there! You can't just change a tag once you're in the story!
5422569 And why would I do that?
There's no romance in the story.
5422638 Can we have less obscure note talk please? Not all of us understand it.
5423141 I'll add a disclaimer.
5423498 Awesome.
5423498 I also suggest just putting the picture in the description and putting some random other coverart. Pony creator cover art doesn't always help gather people. Though this is a little difficult because of the musical terminology it does how that you have a rather nice writing set of skills.
On another note I was studying piano for a long time but i ended up dropping it because it took far too much time and was no longer enjoyable.
On another note since you no longer involve the sexualities because no romance and stuff just mention them subtly inside the fic somewhere where it could fit rather than have them in the description where everyone will read and assume they play a big role on the fic.
5435381 It just sucks to remove the pic cuz I worked hard to get all five of them layered together in photoshop. I guess I could replace the pic.
5435392 If you do want to do something more about them you could request a brand new artwork from "Art for Fanction" group.
5435418 Is it free?
5435426 Well if you request it yes. If you comission it? No.
eeeeeeeeeeeee i love them so much
5422381 Maybe so people get the reference of who these ponies are actually meant to be?
5435824 I really though the name ponytonix would be enough.
5435905 Mhm...
5436444 Most people will get it.
5422569 Um... yes you can. If a tag doesn't fit the story until later on, it can be added later. The site will let you.
5437473 Exactly what I was thinking.
Where's your Alternate Universe tag?
Since the dialogue is part of a larger sentence, it needs to end with a comma and not a period; also, the dialogue tag "said" should not be capitalized, as it isn't part of a new sentence. You forgot the period at the end of the sentence, and you're missing a comma inside the dialogue itself. Here's the revised version:
I see that this continues, so it's clearly a dialogue issue and not just a one-off error. Also, there are other punctuation mistakes besides.
Finally, when a proper name is made up of two words, it should either be hyphenated or have both halves punctuated, or both. In other words:
"Hi hat" =
"Hi Hat", "Hi-hat", or "Hi-Hat" =
5446396 Thanks so much for the constructive criticism! I don't really have an editor, if you're interested in editing my story I'd gladly accept.