• Member Since 22nd Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen 58 minutes ago

Hopeful Soul

I'm just some 27-year old dude from Canada hoping to become a screenplay writer one day. That's all.


This story is a sequel to My Little Pony Equestria Girls 3: Twilight Vs Twilight

Still trying to find her place in the world Sunset Shimmer returns to Equestria in order to right the wrongs she committed there, however she finds it difficult to adjust back to the Pony lifestyle after being gone for so long. Then suddenly a masked villain captures Twilight, forcing Sunset Shimmer to lead the gang in order to save her as well as face her original sin.

Tagline: The Original Sin is Revealed

Covert Art done by marking

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 134 )

:rainbowderp: New story already? Sweet!!!! You sure don't waste any time :rainbowkiss:

Sunset Shimmer is finally going home to find some closure, about time too. But who is the mysterious new villain that is watching from the shadows? Ohhhh the tension....

Comment posted by Masterius deleted Dec 19th, 2014
Comment posted by Hopeful Soul deleted Dec 19th, 2014

I can't wait to see what's going to happen to the girls

By the way the only person I can think to be the hodded figure is demon twilight

ohhh i wonder who was that figure in the hood?

YES!!! NEW STORY!!! :pinkie happy:

Can't wait to see what happens next!!!

Waiting eagerly for chapter 2. Though expect to be waiting a bit with the holiday.

NEW STORY! This pleases me. Ben 10: Omniverse reference with Rarity? I do enjoy your references.

5409997 Thanks, though it still makes me worry...

5410151 That not everyone will be so happy about it... remember why that poor brony Adam took his life?:unsuresweetie::fluttershysad:

5410188 Ah yes :pinkiesad2:
Still, let your successes define you not your failures :pinkiehappy:

Damn, I'm being philosophical today

5410205 I still don't see a reason not to worry...:applecry:

5410324 No. What is the site for if not the author's vision?

5410382 Meaning don't change things you don't want to change. It's your story

5410387 Ok. But still... what if some people get angry...?:unsuresweetie:

5410393 That's life. People get angry over anything. If they didn't we wouldn't have the Hulk :raritywink:
Chin up, you have much potential

My feels. Nice incorporation of a classic song.

I loved the chapter, though there should be some spacing

5439677 Ooh, sorry about that, I've fixed it now

I see some Suite Life on Deck references


“Really? Because I didn’t get that after the hundreds of texts, the emails and the hourly visits.” Twilight remarked, deadpan. “Which, by the way, I did not appreciate the one when I was in the shower.”

I meant for the first chapter

Great chapter. Sunset's off to a good start with the others. Now it's time she make amends with her former mentor.

Good luck Sunset. Looking forward to finding out what that original sin was...and what motivated it

Spike laid his cards out. “Four Aces, ha!” he boasted. “Beat that!”

“Well, ok, like Rainbow Dash would say…” Princess Twilight began before she laid down her own cards. “Read ‘em and weep.”

“No way!” A Royal Flush!?” Spike exclaimed, dismayed. “Come on Twilight, you’re killing me here!”

That hand is impossible to get in a stander deck of cards. Spike has all of the Aces.

“Sorry Spike, fair’s fair.” Princess Twilight shrugged.

No it is not, you just cheated Twilight.

I am hearing the entire thing above in the Cinema Sins voice.

5504916 Perhaps they merged two standard decks together.

5505596 Did have that possibility hanging in the back of my head.

Great chapter. I hope somehow Solar will come around.

Is the dark figure Sunset's super evil genius human counterpart?

Liked being introduced to Sunset's actual family. Keeping curious to her stalker. You might need to take another editing pass at the early part of the chapter though because there seemed to be a few tense mistakes that were a bit jarring.

Paragraph where Sunset goes in to meet Celestia. You used walks into the throne room instead of walked and bows to Celestia rather than bowed. Random switching back and forth between past and present tense.

Login or register to comment