Rejection
I need to help her, such potential must not go to waste. But how? I have never been a good teacher and I surely don't have the time to take care of a filly.
Then it hit Twilight, she realized which teacher Azure needed.
"I know!" Twilight shouted. Azure stopped laughing and stared at her. "I know exactly the teacher for you."
Azure frowned and tilted her head. "Who?"
"Princess Celestia!" claimed Twilight with a huge grin.
Azure wasn't sure if Twilight was joking or not. She did look serious, but there was no way somepony like Celestia would take her as a student. Her school had flat out refused to even acknowledge her existence. She watched Twilight's face and couldn't find any trace of malice in her smile.. "You're serious? There's no way she would take me as student!"
"You're wrong. The princess is very kind and even more intelligent. I know, after all I'm her personal student," Twilight claimed with pride. "I'm sure when she sees what you can do, she won't hesitate."
Azure's eyes widened and sparkled. "You're the student of the princess? Wow! You lived in the castle?"
Twilight laughed. "Of course I did." She turned around and started climbing to her room. "Wait here, I will take a few things for the road."
"What? We are going now?" Azure asked, surprised it was all going so fast.
"Why not? It is still early and if we catch the train, we should be in Canterlot before noon." Twilight explained.
The filly stared at the floor. "Huh... Are you really sure it's a good idea?"
Twilight walked to the young pony and put a hoof on her shoulder. "Trust me. You will see she's great."
"Okay," Azure replied. Twilight smiled and turned once more toward her room. "But why the train?"
Twilight stopped and looked at the filly. "Well, it's the fastest way, and I haven't grown wings yet," she explained with a smile.
"Can't you teleport us there?"
At first Twilight was surprised by the idea, then she started laughing. "Ponyville is over a hundred kilometers from Canterlot. I'm good, but not that good. If I had a spatial beacon in place in Canterlot, I would be able to reach it with ease." She thought about it for a moment. Why hadn't she put one up in the city? After all that time, it would have been logical to have a way to reach the castle in an instant. Besides, she already had one in place in the library.
"Hmm..." Azure let out while staring at the floor.
Twilight frowned. "What's wrong Azure?"
"It's... I..." She only managed to say.
"Come on! Don't be shy!" Twilight cheered her up.
"Do you... Do you think I could try a spell I designed?" Azure asked, feeling very small at that moment. She wanted to run away, afraid of what could happen.
Twilight stood there, surprised by the request. After a moment, she started laughing. "Of course!" She stepped forward and hugged the blushing filly. "Don't be afraid to ask." Twilight closed her eyes to focus and found that the telepathic link was still in place. "Whenever you want."
Azure closed her eyes once more and focused on the magic inside her, sending it toward Twilight's horn. Twilight was wondering what kind of spell it would be. At first she noticed the basic structure of a teleportation spell but soonthe components and elements were placed in a way she had never seen before. After a minute of casting, she was surprised to find a spell far more complex than she thought Azure able to create. After another minute, the spell grew in complexity beyond what Twilight was able to cast on such short notice.
What is this? The magic requirement of that spell is low, I could cast dozen like that. But there is no way I could keep all those components stable!
She opened her eyes and stared at the filly. Just as she did, Azure let the spell off her horn. It exploded outward in a sphere of blue magic and quickly vanished. After a second, as if the library was only a decor, part of it started to be ripped off in the same way if somepony was tearing out wallpapers. Beyond the library a market and dozens of ponies walking around became visible. A few second later, she was standing in the middle of the market district with Azure at her side. She didn't feel dizzy like she used to with long range teleportation. She looked around, it was really Canterlot.
It then hit her.
She is not talented! She is a genius! She sees and thinks about spells like no unicorn would. She could very well create a whole new branch of magic research.
"We are in Canterlot! That's amazing." Twilight said. She started to think about the spell. It would probably take her a month to replicate a spell that complex, but she had no doubt she could do it with enough time. It didn't make sense for her, teleportation was about transferring something instantaneously from one point to another. That spell was like the cupcake conjuration, it wasn't instantaneous at all. "What exactly did you do?"
Azure blushed. "The spell put two places on top of each other, then slowly removed the place we started from, leaving us at our destination. It's like doing a step forward, but without moving."
Unicorns would never think of a spell this way. She takes a completely different approach, one that takes far less magic than I thought possible.
"That was great. You will have to teach me it! But for now, we have a princess to meet,” she said as she turned around toward the white and gold castle that towered above the market. As they walked closer to the gate, she could see some royal guards talking to each other. While getting closer, one of the guards pointed at her, making another turn around.
"Twiley!" Shining Armor said with a huge smile galloping toward her. "I didn't know you were in Canterlot!"
"Good morning Shining!" she replied hugging him. "Well, a few minutes ago, I didn't know I was in Canterlot too."
"What?"
Twilight laughed. "Nevermind that. New teleportation spell, I will explain it to you later."
He smiled back, not really surprised about his little sister trying new unusual spells. "I take you want to see the princess?" For the first time he noticed the small filly follower her sister. "And who would you be?" He asked while stepping beside Twilight. The little filly stepped back and hid herself behind Twilight's purple tail, obviously impressed by the size of the captain of the guards.
"She's why I want to see the princess." She explained, amused by her reaction.
"Go ahead. The morning meetings shouldn't start for ten or fifteen minutes. They are probably getting ready in the throne room. They should be in the throne room getting ready." He explained while tilting his head toward the large golden door.
"They?"
"Yeah, Luna is there too.From what I understand, she's trying to switch her sleeping cycle around. Sleeping at night. Something about always missing the fun." He shrugged.
"Thanks." Twilight replied while walking toward the door.
"Hey! Stop by sometime." He shouted.
She turned around. "Will do! Promise." Reaching the door, she looked at Azure, who was still hiding behind her tail. "Don't be afraid! He's my brother and he is really nice."
"I'm not afraid!"
"Of course not." Twilight replied with a smile.
"The princesses... Are they nice?" She asked with a shaking voice.
"They are great! You will see." Twilight reassured her. She stepped forward and opened the doors. The guards let her pass as they knew her well, after all those years she lived in the castle. She entered the throne room and trotted toward the two princesses that were talking to each other beside their thrones.
Azure looked everywhere, obviously overwhelmed with the display but staying as close to Twilight as she could. Maybe she was not afraid, but she was most definitely impressed. It's not every day you got to meet the rulers of the country.
Luna noticed Twilight first and smiled at the approaching unicorn. "Twilight Sparkle! I'm happy to see you!"
Celestia turned around. "Twilight! Good morning."
"Princesses." Twilight said while bowing down. Azure was hiding herself behind Twilight.
"No need for formality, my faithful student." Celestia said with a huge smile while walking toward the purple unicorn. Luna followed her on her left.
"Well, I guessed a bit of decorum was in order, since I'm kinda here to make an official request." Twilight explained. "I would like you to take another personal student."
Celestia was surprised and didn't try to hide it. "Oh? That is an unusual request. And who would be that special pony?"
Twilight stepped aside, removing Azure's hiding spot. She appeared to shrink, the large size of the princesses didn't really help her. "This is Azure, she is really talented and..."
"Oh Twilight, you know very well I only take unicorns as students," Celestia cut her in the middle of her sentence. "After all, I mostly teach magic and..." The princess didn't finish her sentence and Twilight was staring at her with an angry look she had never seen before.
Azure simply ran off the room crying. "Azure! Wait!" Twilight shouted, but the filly wasn't listening. Once Azure passed the doors, Twilight turned her sight to Celestia. "I can't believe you said that! Azure is one of the most talented..."
"Twilight, she might be able to learn the notion of magic, but it would be a waste as she cannot perform it." Celestia cut her once more with the look of a mother who's explaining natural stuff to a child. To her surprise, Twilight managed to look even angrier.
"Would you have taken me as a student if I hadn't been born a unicorn?" Twilight asked.
"Of course not Twilight, I..." Celestia stopped in mid-sentence, realizing what she just said.
Twilight eyes widened and she instinctively took a few steps back as tears were coming to her eyes. "I... I can't... I can't believe..." She turned around and ran off toward the doors.
"Twilight!" Celestia shouted.
The purple mare stopped in front of the doors and looked back. "I think... I think you have nothing left to teach me Princess," she said with a soft voice, tears flowing from her eyes freely. She crossed the doors, running after Azure.
Celestia was stunned by what had just happened, she simply didn't know how to react. Was she supposed to run after Twilight? She only stated facts of life; earth ponies are strong, pegasi fly and unicorns perform magic. What did she say that could so upset the two ponies? Surely nothing they didn't know already.
She felt as if someone was staring at her, drilling a hole in her skull. She turned her head to the left, only to find Luna staring at her with a look as angry as Twilight. "What? I..." Celestia started to say, but she was interrupted by Luna slapping her face with her right hoof.
She raised her left hoof to her cheek, more surprised than hurt as the princess of the night left the throne room without a look back.
When was the last time Luna slapped me? It was... it was over a thousand years ago, when blinded by my pride I started a war with another country. Am I... Am I blind to something?
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How the hell people manage to write sad stuff? I got to slap myself not to cry while writing.
Manly tears of course... Manly tears.
Bitch!
553955 What?
553960
Celestia... so dogmatic and immediately judges without hearing all the facts
wow Celestia never knew you were so insensitive cant wait for the next chapter
553966 Isn't she always like that? She did the same thing in the wedding and to a lesser extend in the first two episodes of season 1. Doesn't she always know better?
553995
Hence why Luna kicks her ass as number 1 pony
Though I feel bad for Azure now...
GO LUNA
As I Am - Dream Theater
Can't decide if Celestia's in character or not… but if it means Luna gets to be awesome, heck if I care!
interesting story twist
554629 It's actually something that pissed me off in the serie so far. Celestia NEVER listen to Twilight's concerns.
Poor azure.
cant wait to see when celestia eats her words
554154 How in the name of all that's holy are you EVERYWHERE, man?!? D:
555710 because shut the fuck up that's why every damn story i comment on you people go "O LOOK ITS THE DIABOLIC GNOME LETS TELL HIM I HAVE SEEN HIS COMMENTS" its annoying
personally, i doubt Princess Celestia would act like that
Nice job Luna Celestia had it comeing
556453 Because she totally didn't act like that in Cadance's wedding.
I love this series... you didn't make Celestia ooc, i truly hate trollestia... she doesn't exist, maybe a little trollish but nothing else.
1739463
HAHA thanks for lightening the mood
well.....Celestia u done goofed
Sometimes you need to just keep your mouth shut.
Hmm, a bit OOC, but then again, every story has their own slightly different interpretation of how canon characters act.
But here is how I would do it. Somehow I doubt Celestia is going to ignore an Earth Pony whose special talent is magic.
That is something that just doesn't happen. I doubt Celestia would have seen anything the likes of Azure, even with her long, drawn out life. Her appearance would not be taken lightly. Just her very existence could potentially alter the way that ponies know life as they know it.
One's deductive reasoning will tell that there is something veeery special about this little filly.
One who might even become just as great as her predecessors, more so because she is an Earth Pony. If you ask me, that is a special gift that might have been bestowed upon her, or even that she is Celestia's daughter herself. After all, there are so many potential avenues that this story could go from here. I've already taken a peek at your sequel, something to do with the occult, but perhaps you could craft something that could revolve around the young filly, increasing the stakes to dire proportions.
The potential stress and drama that you could induce here is that of an epic. Such as that Azure could be destined to be one of the greatest mages in history, forced to battle against overwhelming loss and heartbreak. Or if you are audacious, perhaps have Azure go through an Ascension to become an alicorn.
If I were Celestia, shock wouldn't even begin to describe how I would feel if my personal student brought in an Earth Pony filly, who at a glance seems to be nothing special. Then I see her cutie mark, and have my own student explain to me that her talent is magic. Remember, there can be multiple variations of a character and how one interprets them. Don't take canon completely to heart, for that might just seal your doom. But I digress. Moving on, I would think there might be some secret prophecy about this, perhaps predicted by somepony like Starswirl the Bearded, who has hidden this information until the time is right. You've worked on Assassin's Creed right? I suggest you pull some notes off the story telling portion of Assassin's Creed 2, and incorporate the into this story.
One potential scenario could have a Nightmare Moon cult kidnap the little filly and force her into a magic coma, confronting Nightmare Moon herself. From there, NM could torment the filly, and it will be up to her to save herself. And even perhaps, saving her rescuers who are captured by the fanatical cult, and are threaten with execution. You could even have her family attack, killing off family members and traumatizing her.
If you keep Luna as her mentor, she will go to Hell and back to rescue her. After all, this bond is deep between the Teacher and Student. Imagine her feelings when she finds out her own student is going through hell on Equestria. Or even Celestia, guilt tripped into feeling like a terrible ruler. Nightmare Moon could be interpreted to be a Mastermind of Negative emotion and manipulation. Perhaps NM here could potentially send Celestia into a spiral of depression, or worse, give her a disease while she is vulnerable from the sorrow and guilt that is within her. First banishing her own sister to the moon, then rejecting a filly who holds more potential than she realizes. What is worse, Celestia will realize that she should have seen past this as the wise ruler of Equestria. It is her job to be the leader of her nation, and I have no doubt her psyche would suffer badly if this were to occur. Just enough to give an opening for an attack from dark magic forces, who could inflict a spell that could potentially take Celestia's own life, via Nightmares, forcing Celestia to relive horrible events, or foretell tales of the death of all that she loves and hold dear. They could break her soul, sap her spirit, and leave her exhausted. This could leave Celestia in a position of anguish and self hate, if she finds that her Nightmare Version of herself does horrible things that would leave Celestia heartbroken. Or that she interprets a vision of a supposed future where her leadership leads to the fall of all Equestria, especially the death of her sister. Even if you don't have Equestria destroyed... Well, I can't imagine what would happen if her own student and sister were killed off, with her being partly responsible for it. That will send Celestia into a shadow withdraw, retreating and lamenting her reasons as to why she is here.
Is she actually doing the nation any good?
Has her actions done worse than good?
Questions, questions, questions.
Yes Celestia you are blind. Just look from a normal earth pony's point of view of the world.
And luna with the b*tch-slap
Dunno.. its neat to see something different (an earth pony with a thing for magic, yes!), but the kid is just too damn good at magic when she got, like, 3 spell cast in her lifetime. Each of them are ridiculously powerfull and complex. Its too far and fast into mary-sue territory for my liking.
553946 ya... it sucks, I'm still writing my own but every time I try doing something sad I can't write it. btw, good job bitch slapping Celestia.
Dear Princess Celestia,
jammiewf.com/assets/thats-racist3.gif
And that scene with Luna bitchslapping Celestia reminds me of this:
awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/Tyrion_slaps_Joffrey.gif
BITCH SLAP!
This had an interesting premise, but I can't continue any longer. Your OC is a Mary Sue, the ponies feel OOC and I keep seeing spelling errors. Sorry, but I'm downvoting.
EDIT: After thinking it over, I feel I have to provide more constructive criticism and reasons for what I think. First, about Azure. From the picture and the description, I get the feeling she's a few years past normal cutie mark age - about as old as the CMC, maybe 10 years old or so. Here's some quotes:
"The problem? The problem is that our society doesn't accept that."
"It's mostly unicorns that live in Canterlot, the place of power. Tell me, you never heard any unicorn say something against a pegasus or an earth pony, based on what kind of pony they are?"
"However, that night was different. I didn't even notice the passage of time, I just ate tome after tome."
Normal 10-year olds don't speak like that, and Twilight doesn't even react to how she sounds like a book. And by just reading about magic, she's able to design a new teleportation spell that's totally superior to all previous ones AND then use it perfectly on her first try? A feat both Twilight and Celestia fails with? She seems to unbelievable a character to me.
Ponies feel a bit stilted and odd throughout, but that's something that goes away with writing experience. The main factor that made me stop reading is when Celestia just blurts out how she would only accept Twilight as a unicorn. Since when does Celestia talk before she thinks? Notice that it's not Celestia being racist I'm opposed to, that is required for the story and can make sense. It would be much more believable that when Twilight asked her question, Celestia would pause to think about how she would say her next words - and that pause would be giving away the same answer, provoking the same response in Twilight, without Celestia becoming more of an idiot than necessary.
As for spelling, this is something everyone does but it still takes you out of the story. The best thing is to get an editor or someone else than you to read through your text. If that's not possible, leave the text alone for a few days before you read it through again yourself. That helps in seeing mistakes you might easily gloss over otherwise.
Racist Clestia... No thanks, on to the next story.
Stupid ponies. They've degraded their magic into a science.
553946 I believe there is a meme for that.
Idiots. This is why we worship gods, not immortals.
soon the
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Tribalist Tia. There are so few fic that play her as an accidental Tribalist.
I keep saying it was obvious to me what (just not when or how) was gonna happen to Twilight, the first time I watched the show, but folks kept saying, "Yeah, right. You already knew because you came late." But there's all these little hints in stuff written before Magical Mystery Cure aired that show I wasn't the only one seeing it.
Ah, yes. I remember this. This is the "oblivious numbskull" version of Sunnybuns. I don't see her too often in stuff written more recently. It's very nostalgic!