My king!
The past
"My king!" A crystal pony runs up to the throne.
"How may I help you?" I reply. The crystal pony stops moving and bows before me. "You know you don't have to bow to me."
The crystal pony rises and smiles at the king. "My king we love you to much to stop." I let out a sigh at this comment. The crystal mare then walks up to the throne and hands the king a letter. The pony then turns around and leaves the throne room. Just before she leaves she says a quick morning to the two guards. One a griffon and one a pegasus. Both wearing wearing an black amour followed by a white logo on their flank. The logo being the flag of the king rule.
Let's see what this letter is. I flip the letter to see to see a logo on the front. Ah it's the logo of my two best friends. Miss Galaxies and Mr-
"Daddy!"
I quickly look up only to see a black blur rush close to me. "Wh-" Was all I manage to say before the impact with the black blur. I quickly feel a pair of hooves warp around me. I look down to see two teal eyes staring at me.
"Morning my little nightmare" I pull out my hands and hug her back. I then lift her into the air. "Your getting more beautiful every day." She pout but then giggles. "Wanna see what our friends sent us with daddy?"
She was now going red and trying to get out of my grip. "I'm not your little girl any more dad!" She was right. My daughter was now her full size.
I set her on my knee and kiss her forehead. "You act childish but you always be my little girl." She nuzzles against my chest and let's out a sigh.
I open the letter and proceed to read.
Dear king Zora
I am writing to you to inform you of the wonderful news. We have finally receive the news that I am pregnant. There are also signs to give us a green star. We have used our magic to see it is a mare. However we used magic to see in the future of our child to see we will have one more. We have decided to name the first one Celestia. While the second will be called Luna. They shall rule over when we our time comes. Celestia will rule day while Luna will rule night.
We also need to ask thou a huge favour. We ask if king Zora will become the guardian of our children. This is because of two reasons. If we must go before our children are ready we will need one to look after this world. Also...we don't have really any family members apart from two. My great etc...cousin and...you. You have been more then a friend to us. You are family to us.
So please take your time. We hope you will accept the title and call us your family as well.
From your dear family member
Galaxies
P.s. We hope you survive the sound.
Sound? What so- my thoughts are stopped as I hear the loudest squeak ever. I focus to the source of the sound. Nightmare Moon was jumping on the steps of the throne with the biggest smile ever. "I'm going to have new friends! Alicorns friends! Oh we are going to be the best of friends!"
She kept of droning on but I was having a hard time listening as my ears were still buzzing. I notice my two guards are having the same effect as they were grabbing their ears.
"Daughter." She kept talking. "Daughter." Hmm...looks like I'm going to have to do it. I reach over and scratch her left ear. Straight away her shouting it reduced to a simple humming.. She pushes her head into my hand as I use the other to put her on my knee again.
I stop scratching her ear and hear a small whine escape her. "I take it your happy." She nods. "But should I take the title?" She nods again. "I dunno..."
She raises a hoof and swings it towards my chest. I notice this and catch her hoof in midair. "Still can't beat your daddy!" I cry, followed by a bop on the nose. "Fine I shall take it."
Suddenly a smoke flies in through the window and towards me. Just before it reaches me it turns into a letter. I catch it and see the same logo from before. Ok? Normally I don't receive letters like this unless it was an...emergency. I look at my daughter to see the fear in her eyes. I hold her tighter to feel her muscles relax. I open the letter and proceed to read.
Dear king Zora
We are sorry to disturb you but we are in need of you. Galaxies is about to give birth to the foal named Celestia. However our king, the father of the foal is not here. As he is currently busy. Something with the universe. Anyhow our Queen ask for you to be here in his place.
Please be come as she begs of you.
From a Royal servant.
"I'm coming with!" I look at my daughter to see a worried look on her eyes.
"No." She was about to talk but I stop her. "I will go however I need you to pick up the crystal heart from my guards. They are at the jewellery store. It should be cleaned by now. If you don't then my Changelings shall starve." She was about to say something again. From the look on her face it read a look of disagreement. "Please." She lets out a sigh and nuzzles my neck. She then runs towards the door.
I quickly start thinking of the place I wanna go and shut my eyes. I hear gasps after a few seconds and I open my eyes. I was out side of Galaxies room. Meh...close enough. I mean... My day dreaming is cut short after hearing a yell on the other side of the door. Followed by hooves. The door shoots open and a hoof reaches out then yank me inside.
Straight away I see Galaxies laying on her bed. A unicorn servant who was still holding me brings me to her side. "Uhh what I'm I here for?"
The unicorn lets go and walks towards the door. Before he leaves he shouts out. "Support. Good thing you have healing!"
Wait support? Plus why would I need my healing ability?
Before I can zone out any more I manage to hear. "Push!"
In that second I feel both my arms being pulled towards Galaxies. Before I can realise what going on...it was too late. My left arm was in her mouth. While she used her right hoof to grab my remaining arm. Then...the pain. She let out a muffle cry. Due to my arm in her muzzle. As she the bit down into it. I felt her teeth almost pierce my skin but I kept it strong. That's when I heard a snap sound. Followed by spikes of pain. I look at my right arm. That is currently being held by Galaxies. Wow... She broke the bones of my right hand. It hurts but it will heal.
"Push! Almost there!" A voice cries. Galaxies biting and grabbing becomes stronger.
"Fuuu..." Don't say it. Your not on earth. Plus most likely they don't want their foal first welcome word to be a bad one.
A sound I never heard before is made and my arms are no longer in use. After a few second my healing kicks in and the teeth marks and broken bones are healed. Like it was never there. I see a smile on her face before she slowly falls asleep. It is over?
I turn towards the voices from before and see a unicorn holding something. He then whack it's. To be followed by the sounds of crying...ah I see. The unicorn slowly makes it way towards me.
"I believe you should look after her until her parents are awake/here." I nod at the unicorn and take the bundle of life. All subjects leave the room while I head towards a chair. Only two were in the room. They were next to a coffee table on the balcony. I sit down and look at the reason I'm here. Looking back up is none other then filly Celestia. I reach down and bop her on the nose. This makes her giggle, to which my heart melts. I remember when my daughter was like this. My little nightmare. I focus back to the world after feeling a tug in my finger. I notice Celestia has grabbed my finger and used it as a teddy bear. As she was now asleep.
It was now getting late. I need to get to my kingdom. I rise from the chair and walk over to Galaxies. I unwrap Celestia from her blanket. She start moving after feeling the temperature change. I bend down and place her on her mothers barrel. Galaxies mother gears start working as she warps her hooves and wings around Celestia. My job here is done. I turn to walk but can't seemed to move. Ok? I turn back to see my finger still has a sleeping Celestia on it. Looks like I will have do it this way then.
I close my eyes and think of my place to teleport. Before I feel myself slip away I hear a faint sentence. The voice of Galaxies. "Thank you."
Month went by since that day. Celestia had a late welcome/birthday. Her father returned on that day. Our daughters became friends fast. Life was perfect.
Now I was laying against a tree. Watching over Nightmare and Celestia playing tag in my Royal gardens. Celestia parents were busy. Now that I'm on that point. They have been very busy lately. Let's not think bad now! How about...ah!
Celestia had been learning quickly. She could almost talk properly. Just long words and some small other reason. She could walk, jog and run well. However not fly...yet. She could barely use her magic but she is learning. Thanks to her teacher my daughter. She teaches her well. Celestia pretty much views her as an older sister.
Overtime more and more foals came to join the two in their game of tag. As my royal gardens is open to all. Apart from one place. Griffons, earth ponies, pegasus, unicorns, crystal ponies, changelings and one baby dragon all joined in. It was a site to see. Species of all kind playing together without a care in the world.
But I have the feeling in my heart. This will not last. Something huge is gonna happen and...we don't have that long left.
The present. (2 years since Celestia birth.)
"Traitor!"
"Wait! What!"
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This is... onteresting. I will not rate it yet, I wish to see more before I do.
5416536
As you wish
Your description abuses so many ellipses that it feels like I need to call the authorities. Seriously, get a grip on 'em. There's NINE ellipses in the space of six small paragraphs. That's way too many.
If you don't mind, here's what I'd suggest doing to the summary:
Three paragraphs that reduce clutter with only one ellipses.
I'd also suggest changing the name of the story. Maybe "The Return of the King" or "Kingship" or s/t. Your choice, you could even leave it as it is. I definitely will say if you leave it as is, you must capitalize it so: "An Old King Returns".
If you want I could go through the story itself and comment or PM you a review.
5417573
Thanks for reading the story and pointing out my mistakes.
Your opinion is noted and I may even take you up on your offer.
5419773 I have to agree with Commisar Rarity. The description could use some work, as there is just so many grammatical mistakes and it feels so clunky that it's just a major turn off for a lot of people. While the idea is really cool, it seems to lack grammar.
5421077
Yeah grammar! Heh...
I will get around to fixing it when I have time and it is not Christmas. Family...
However thank you for showing your opinion and as I said before 'noted!'
5421380 ohh yeah, Merry Christmas! I understand completely; have fun!
5421380 Also, do you mind if I use your cover image in different works of mine as long as I give you credit? It gave me a couple of ideas that I want to try
5423166
Go ahead!
Have fun!
TRAITOR SCUM! img.ifcdn.com/images/91570999449aa0fb318a10554fbe063e6397087cee83ba2752acaf763041e3e1_1.jpg