• Published 20th Dec 2014
  • 19,544 Views, 1,496 Comments

Tears of a Foal - Rocinante



In the winter snow, a lost foal cries.

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 1,496
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[Removed chapter 26] Long Walk Home.

- - - ch 25 - - -

“What’s he dreaming about?” Celestia asked, watching Clover giggle and twitch in has sleep. It was almost enough to make her forget the sterile room with its beeping machines and dripping IV bags.

Almost.

Luna closed her eyes for a moment. “A flying dream.”

Looking to the jar by the bed, Celestia picked it up with her magic to examine the green glowing stuff. “They said this would cure him?”

“No, they said it would give him the tools to fight.”

There was something in her sister’s voice that scared her. “What are you not telling me?”

“His illness has let me into his dreams. I do not feel it is my place to say what I have seen, but I will say he is has been tried, and is weaker for it. He welcomes death.”

Somehow those words managed to relax her. “I have walked many ponies out of that dark place.”

“You have failed too.” Luna’s voice was flat and lifeless

Celestin nodded. “I have failed at many things. Another one today.” Turning up the jar, she let a few drops of the goo land on her hoof. “We could have peace between ponies and changelings today, but now a generation must pay for my poor judgment.”

“Careful with that stuff, it is powerful,” Luna said stepping closer to rub necks. “I need to go speak with the doctor, before that vain on his neck ruptures. Then I must see to the night court.”

“Thank you.” Celestia pulled Luna into a hug before letting her leave for the night.

As the door closed behind Luna, Celestia looked back at the changling spoo on her hoof. Clover had drank several ounces of the stuff according to Luna. She wanted to know just what kind of magic had fortified Clover. Putting her hoof to her lips, Celestia took a lick.

She wanted more, even before the sweeter-than-honey taste fully registered to her. An act of will forced her to set the jar aside, and focus on the magic storming into her body. Everything felt warm. Everything felt right. Her whole body buzzed with comfort.

Forcing herself to stay focused, Celestia studied the sensation. It reminded her of her mother’s embrace. She knew her magic had been bolstered too, though by only a tiny amount. She dared not light her horn, knowing it would drain the wonderful feeling from her faster.

Clover turned and mumbled in his sleep, reaching out blindly towards her.

Sitting in the chair by the bed, Celestia rested her chest and head on the bed with Clover, who eagerly snuggled into her mane. Closing her eyes, she listened to Clover’s breath.

- - -

A warm summer breeze woke Celestia from her nap in the grass. Easing to her hooves she scraped the sleep from her eyes, and looked around. Her mother’s shining smile greeted her from beneath a rowan tree. Trotting over, she rubbed necks with her mother, then paused to rest a hoof on her mother’s belly.

“I bet It’ll be a filly.” she said, smiling up at her mother.

“We’ll find out very soon. I was about to wake you. Go get your father. He’s collecting mushrooms in the forest. You’ll have a brother or sister by night fall.”

Celestia grinned ear to ear before nodding and bolting off down the hill. Across field she ran, over hedge she lept, and through creek she stormed; till the shade of the forest loomed over her. She knew the trails well enough, and she certainly knew her father’s favorite places to sniff out juicy mushrooms. Slowing to a trot, she meandered the forest paths, scanning the dark places for signs of her father.

Somewhere past the split in the trail, flute song reached her ears. Continuing down the path, she swiveled her ears to hear it better. It was a bittersweet tune, and she wondered who could be playing it. When the path split again, she followed the sound: perhaps they had seen Father.

Soon she found herself at the edge of a clearing atop the hill. The summer haze was light today, and the sky bright and blue. In the distance the glimmering ocean stretched on forever.

Stepping into the sun, Celestia smiled as it warmed her back. Looking around, she searched for the musician. She found him by a cooking fire, a young, handsome stallion playing his flute while staring out towards the sea. Beside him, strange things lay strewn about. Stepping closer, she knew them to be tools of war: barding, spear, and ballista.

Strangers were rare enough, but this frightened her. She started to bolt back into the woods, but paused. She may not have her mark yet, but she was no foal.

“Why are you here?” she asked, raising her voice above the flute.

The music stopped, and slowly turned to face her. He had smiling eyes, but his muzzle held a melancholy look. “I am just a soldier going home.”

“You're a soldier?” Celestia asked, memorising his face to tell the others.

He shrugged. “I was, but not by my choosing.”

Celestia relaxed a bit. “You were forced to fight?”

“It was expected of me. Saying no didn’t seem an option.”

“That’s horrible!” Celestia stepped closer to the handsome stallion, suddenly feeling sorry for him.

“It’s over now,” he said, tending to some food roasting over the fire. “Besides, I have a family waiting for me now.” He looked up at her and grinned. “Can’t let my brother get in trouble alone.”

Celestia jolted, reminded of her mother’s task. “I wish you the best of luck getting home, but I must go find my father now.” Waving goodbye, she ran back into the forest. Soft music again echoed behind her, as she searched the familiar coves for her father.

- - -

Gentle petting of her mane pulled Celestia from her dream. The sounds and smells of the hospital reminding her of where she had fallen asleep. The room was dim, and sunrise was many hours away.

“Luna?” she mumbled, expecting that her sister had woken her to get her into a bed.

“You were dreaming,” Clover said.

Sitting up, she found that Clover had managed to braid a lock of her mane from ear to wither. “It was a nice dream, about when I was just a little older than you are now.”

“Did you find your father?”

Celestia laughed, it had been a long time since anypony had caught her talking in her sleep. “I did. He had found a patch of morels where the forest had burned the year before.”

“What happened to him?” Clover’s expression was oddly serious.

Sitting down, Celestia started to undo the braid with her magic, but decided to leave it. “He was killed a few years after Luna was born. She never really got to know him.”

“There are a lot of ponies I never got to really know,” Clover said.

Celestia rested a hoof on Clover. This was the first time he had ever mentioned his life from before. “You can talk to me about them, if you want.”

Clover’s expression went melancholy. “I have forgotten about them. Just remember little bits.”

“Believe it or not, I know how much it hurts to admit that.”

Clover seemed to take some assurance from her words, and lay there staring at the ceiling for a moment. She had thought him asleep, when a low growl came from his stomach.

“I’m really hungry.”

Celestia let herself smile, that wasn’t an idle complaint, that was asking to be fed. “I’ll get you anything you want.”

A smile crept across Clover’s face as he opened his eyes to look up at her. “Can I get some grilled cheese and tomato soup?”

“I’ll make it myself.”

- - - x - - -

“He wants to eat, that’s a good sign,” Dragonfly thought to Ladybug.

I told you Spike was a good big brother.

Dragonfly sighed as he cleaned out his mop. “You younglings are so strange.”

Ladybug picked up Clover’s file and studied the notes for a moment. “Just because we store the love as food, doesn't mean we can’t love back as much as we are loved.”

“What do the notes say?” Slopping the mop onto the floor, Dragonfly continued cleaning. Tomorrow was really going to suck, he had a business convention to host for the baker’s guild.

“His vitals have improved. As long as he eats and rests, he should make a full recovery.”

Dragonfly smiled. “Good. Rumors have to start somewhere.”

Comments ( 59 )

This chapter made me hungry. :rainbowhuh:

6220930 When the humans reach that age do you know what our question will be?

"Why?"

I still want to think that he's a Highlander.

Your story is yet again featured on the home page. 07/19/2015

that vain on his neck

vein

changling spoo

changeling

Recovery!?
Ok.
more please!

clovers recovery could have been easily manipulated by his wish *gets sent back to where he was immortal*
so kind of a blah ending. neat story thou

Another take on this chapter, as I've read this already before (we all did!)
It's always nice to read about the recovery though. And as has been mentioned here before, I'd too love to see the two changelings in the next story :twilightsmile:

6224846
The writer for B5 also wrote for She-Ra. His first use of the food "spoo" was in and episode of She-Ra.

6225315

I love when people use the name fanfiction as an excuse. Like, if the story has obvious plot issues or characterization issues or any other issue like that, don't bother actually making an attempt to defend it or justify the change. Nope, just say it's fanfiction as if that justifies everything. It's about as helpful a reason as that idiotic, "Yeah? Well I'd like to see you do better!"

In fact, I can post completely unhelpful and obnoxious replies as well! "It's called FAN-fiction, meaning that it should stick to canon as much as possible unless there is a good reason provided for the changes, because FANs of the fiction want to relate to it. If you just change stuff with no reason given, why even write FANfiction in the first place?"

Seriously, all of this arguing over an utterly meaningless detail in the story. :facehoof:

Sitting up, she found that Clover had managed to braid a lock of her mane from ear to wither.

How exactly do you braid a mane like Celestia's?

She wanted more, even before the sweeter-than-honey taste fully registered to her. An act of will forced her to set the jar aside, and focus on the magic storming into her body. Everything felt warm. Everything felt right. Her whole body buzzed with comfort.

I'll have what their having.

6269226 I was thinking of that exactly when I wrote that comment!

I liked the fic, but it surprised me that Clover did not have problems with Blue Blood, he manage to appear soon or later in most fics and begin to do his whining

6328443

I had a rather long winded arc that mostly revolved around Blueblood, there was some foreshadowing of that in the early chapters, but it was one of the thing that I had to scrap. Might boil it down to a 2-3 chapter story one day.

6328924 What about another story as side-stories and in there you put the ideas you didn't put and cut?

6328984

A shot-glass style story is a possibility.

6330379

I love how that comment got four thumbs down. :facehoof:

Why do stories feel the need to shove in these needless words out of nowhere? Seriously, they never use terms like that in the show. They say "kids," "children," "foals," "boys," "girls," and other such common words. Why not just use those? Using terms like yearlings just feels pointless because it doesn't add anything.

6330477

:applejackunsure:

I don't think you (or all the people who apparently down voted my comments without bothering to leave a reason) understood the reason I left those comments. Yearling, mustang, and other such words are never, not even once, mentioned in the show. So why does this story seemingly feel the need to keep using them? It's just so jarring to see such a canon-like Equestria only to have these odd social changes pop in from out of nowhere. They don't add anything to the story, they don't make sense considering it's not like this is an AU, and if anything they kind of distract from the rest of the story since every time I see them I can't help but stop and go, "Huh?"

That's the issue I had. I know what all the words mean. I know what mustang means since it was easy to figure out from context. I knew what yearling meant for the same reason. The problem, again, is that there is no reason those words should be used here, because no one ever uses them. I know I'm probably the only one who is like this, but these minor details stand out to me, and the more minor things I notice, the more they tend to pile up.

6338599 This colt wasn't interested in the toy boats. It can't be Gibbs.

6372518

I'll go with that.

I could even see Twilight and her being cousins.

6372574 That would be pretty neat. Maybe a little clichéd, but still, neat.

6343824

What about Jack Reacher?

:p

I really enjoyed this story. It's a quiet story, and I didn't feel like there was a lot of background noise in the plot. It's one of those gems you rarely find on the homepage, and I'm glad I found it. I'd like to see someone make this into a comic or animation.
10/10, great story :derpytongue2:

I have a question for you Rocinante; what drove you to write Tears of a Foal? Please answer me I'd really like to know!

6962660 Okay, wow, really fun question.

How to unpack ToaF...

Well, it was kind of a perfect storm. My grand parents had both recently died, and I was trill sorting that out emotionally. There is a good bit of personal baggage in this story in general. The scene, early on, where Luna sees into Clover's past, is the memory of my mother's death. There's other personal bits, in there too, but that's the most literal one.

I had just started in on another story, you can read what I had started here: A.D.D. Theater 8. But then I stumbled across another story, and made this comment.

So now I'm thinking; can you write a story where you never use the protagonist's POV? That leads me to cooking up a simple HiE story, only I open it with Celestia meeting the protagonist. I write the next few chapters with that mind set, before realizing I have something interesting in my hands. I go back to the drawing board and turn, Louis the massage therapist from LA, into the "Clover" that you know, a coursed soul from a mythical world that looks something like Greece. Something I've never said out loud before, but he was meant to be similar to a siren.

There were a few things I never worked in. Otto and Luna were going to have a proper love affair. Blue blood and Celestia were going to hash out some old wounds. I even developed an arc around one of Luna's daughters from long ago, who had found her own immortality. That colt that was mentioned getting lost in the Everfree was going to have a side story of his own. Merry Hearth's son with the pizza place had a side story too.

I still want to so something with Dragonfly and Ladybug, but I haven't quite found the right inspiration yet.

I think that's petty much it. Hope I didn't spoil the illusion for you.

6964511 Thanks for the reply and answering my question and sorry to hear the passing of your grandparents and your mother.

6964640 You're welcome. Also if you are having trouble trying to get those stories written then I suggest you just work on them one at a time. Work on the one you want t get out the most or the the one that is close to being finished.

Hey this was pretty good. A sequel would be great however... I am not sure what more could be told. All loose ends that could easily be followed were tied up except the changlings. Even then it would be a separate story in the same universe rather than a continuance.

I just had an idea. You should make a mother's Day for this with Clover and Celestia! And today is Mother's Day!

7198134

Kinda wish I'd thought of that. Maybe I'll do a in-universe one-shot for fall.

7198173 Thanks for the reply.

This is a meh story, not bad not amazing just meh. The author defiantly wanted to be done at a certain point so he rushed it with deus ex machina.

Comment posted by Super Soldier deleted Jun 2nd, 2016

7345416

There's a couple places in this story where I mention ideas I intended to expand on, but never did.

Artiodactyla, are two-toed hoofed animals(ungulates). I had this idea that one-toed and two-toed ungulates had a bitter war at one point in the past.

7345841 Thank you. By the way what does the word Artiodactyla mean?

7347680

The name Artiodactyla comes from the Greek ἄρτιος (ártios), "even", and δάκτυλος (dáktylos), "finger/toe"; so the name "even-toed" is a translation of the order name.

Source

I have to say that this story was actually very interesting to listen to. While it isn't one of the best stories on this site, It truly did catch my attention and I was glued to this story all night. I believe that I started listening to it around 2:00 AM and didn't get any sleep at all because I wanted to know what was coming next. (Yes I did say listened to. For anyone thats interested, I use the "Text to speech" system built into the MAC operating system. When using the Ava voice, its sounds like a real human is reading the story. No chopy robo voice. Also its very simple to tell it to save that as an audio book right to ITunes. I think I have like 50 stories saved in mine. (Minor issue however. I will point out that it misreads "it" as "I.T." "Mare" as "Moray",and "Fluttershy" as "Fluttershee". Let me tell you, in a Fluttershy intensive story, that can really drive you up the wall.)

Great Job on the story.

10/10 story. Although I will say I liked the other ending better.

7198173 Or do it next Mother's day.

7711873

Before she hit puberty.

7728022 Rocinante already explained that to me but thank you anyway.

7732637

Somewhere in my bin of half-started stories, is a romance about those two, set 10 years after this story.

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