• Member Since 7th Dec, 2014
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tjcullinan326


A brony who likes gaming

T

Every Cutie Mark is the symbol of what makes a pony special. Brawler's Cutie Mark is a pair of Boxing gloves, representing hoof to hoof combat. Nopony's ever beaten him in a fair fight. Unfortunately this worries the ponies around him and after a rather complicated incident he is thrown in a dungeon. Years pass, and Brawler is freed when the enchantments on his cell are drained by Tirek. What will Brawler do with his new found freedom?


Cover art done by Mad Munchkin


1/4/16 How in the HELL did this get featured?!? Whatever, thanks guys!

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 582 )

interesting, followed

It's actually not all that far. There's a reason why Canterlot and Cloudsdale are mentioned quite a bit in the episodes.
Map of Equestria (Not Drawn to Scale)

Comment posted by tjcullinan326 deleted Dec 21st, 2014

Sanity is overrated Brawler. Go for it.

Ah, this reminds me fondly of a similar story I read years ago, about an Earthpony who was given the spirit and mark of a fighter in the age of peace.

Loved that story. Now to see how this one takes the idea.

A rewrite, huh? This seems a lot more concise and consistent, having less plotholes than the original chapter. That last one felt a bit rushed too. I like this pace. Keep it up. :twilightsmile:

Putting ponies in cells for the rest of their lives for the crime of not fitting Celestia´s "perfect", harmonious society? This Equestria seems more like a crapsaccharine world than anything else.

“One blast from the six of you should put him in his place. Until then farewell.”

..and if it doesn't work?

Considering—

If they spend too long unable to do their talent they slowly go insane!

—this, it'll just make you look like a bad ruler.

“And when nopony agrees? You’ll just assault guards again! You are a danger to Equestria. You belong in a cell.”

First; even after she's seen that he's right she decides he still needs to be locked away, potentially for life, despite no evidence to prove he's a danger to Equestria. Come on, he's a pegasus. So what if his talent is for fighting, just have someone use a strong enough telekinetic hold. Celestia herself said only high level unicorns can dispel her grip.
Second... why not just make him a Guard?! Let him use his talent to help your country instead of locking him away from everyone he ever loved until he's six feet under.

“Why not? We were both feared and misunderstood, and because of that we ended up in some form of prison.”

Ouch.
Brawler does have a point though.

5421533 Celestia thinks that Brawler is a threat to Equestria. Every threat to Equestria could be dealt with with the elements so in her mind why would Brawler be any different?

Even though Brawler proved he had reason to attack that guard he still attacked a guard, then nineteen more. I don't think anyone anywhere can get away with beating up twenty members of local law enforcement without some form of punishment, even if they had understandable motivation.

Celestia said that anypony could learn to repel a telekinesis spell if they focus enough.

You really think Brawler would agree to become a guard after everything he's been through? Besides Luna doesn't know Brawler that well at this point. For all she knows he's a psychopath who happened to have an excuse to go nuts.
Would a ruler want a potential psycho to be a member of law enforcement?

Luna is now giving Brawler a chance to prove that he's misunderstood and not a psycho by making him surrender to the harmony blast. Then we'll see where things go from there.

vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/e/ec/FANMADE_Twilight_Clapping.gif/revision/latest?cb=20120228224010


YES! this is so much better, well done my friend, well done! I am seeing great promise now:pinkiehappy:

5423934

Luna is now giving Brawler a chance to prove that he's misunderstood and not a psycho by making him surrender to the harmony blast. Then we'll see where things go from there.

You can’t see me right now but that made me angrier then I could ever express through words.

By this stories logic Celestia should be blasted with the elements to prove she isn't evil and imprisoning innocent ponies on a whim, and Twilight should have been thrown in a dungeon the second she got her cutie mark- let alone after she brainwashed half of ponyvill with the talent it represents...

5455101 Celestia at one point could wield the elements of harmony, no 'evil' being could ever do that.

Twilight's talent is MAGIC, potentially dangerous? Very unlikely, would only be a threat if she had a hate for Equestria, which she doesn't.

Brawler's talent: Fighting, potentially dangerous? Most likely, Equestria is a land of peace and the only way to stop this stallion from going on a rampage is by giving him a fight, something that nearly every pony in Equestria would want to avoid.

Put yourself in Celestia's place. If you were the ruler of a peaceful land and you wanted to keep it peaceful, how would you react to someone that actively seeks combat on almost a daily basis? And you only found out about him after he had gone on a rampage?

Celestia made a mistake, she's not evil.

P.S. What brainwashing?

5456398 The brainwashing I believe More Dakka to be reffering to is the want it need it spell, though I could be wrong.

5456398
Luna once wielded the elements of harmony but she became nightmare moon.

Magic is very dangerous- Twilight turned her parents, and teachers into potted plant by accident and destroyed the building she was taking her aptitude test in the day she got her cutie mark. She has also shown mental instability, -see when she brainwashed half the town with the want it need it spell all so she could keep a deadline on an assignment- and when she tried to brainwash discord with a ‘reform spell’ even though Celestia specifically said to make it so he uses magic obediently of his own free will.

So now I’ll put myself in Celestia’s shoes. Here I have a pony that has a potentially very dangerous talent. Who has already demonstrated mental instability, including something similar to OCD, and has consciously misused that potentially dangerous talent. Thus Twilight sparkle would be staring out through iron bars right across from Brawler.

And If he only went on that rampage because of his cutie mark, I would seriously question my affinity to them as a whole. especially seeing as ponies like Screw loose are a thing.
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130622160205/mlp/pl/images/1/10/Screwloose_ID.png

As it is though, I’ll take a backseat until I see what the Elements actually do to him... if anything.

5458001 When Celestia first meet Twilight it was when she was a filly and didn't have proper control over her magic, that's why Celestia took her as her student. Twilight showed no evil intent as a filly. Brawler beat up twenty guards for, as Celestia believed, no good reason and had fun while doing it.

Celestia might be a bit of a troll but she isn't cruel. Twilight clearly needed help to reign in her abilities, Brawler looked like he just enjoyed hurting others.

As for mental instability, again, Twilight didn't intend to hurt anypony. She made a mistake that could be fixed and learned her lesson to never do something like that again.

As for the whole Nightmare Moon thing I can be a be a bitch and say that Nightmare Moon and Luna should be counted as two different ponies but even I'm not sure that's true and it's a shaky argument at best.

Given the choice, I think I'd rather be stuck in a room with the asshole who likes to punch things than with the superpowered crazy person. Violent assholes might not be likable, but at least they are predictable. Someone capable of snapping for no rational reason and capable of leveling mid-sized cities just shouldn't walk around unsupervised, for their protection as much as everyone elses.

5462654 Twilight didn't show mental instability when she was a filly, so no reason to lock her up then. And on the one occasion when she did demonstrate mental instability, 1. She immediately saw that she made a mistake, and 2. She learned her lesson not to do it again.

Plus, even when she went nuts she didn't want to hurt anypony. Yes making ponies obsessed with a doll isn't exactly safe she never came remotely close to attempting to cast a spell that would cause direct harm to a pony.

5463158
Twilight's fragile mental health and emotional instability is really all but outright stated. Sane people don't have a sudden psychotic break and paranoid fantasies of being punished for an imaginary act of failure, and then mind-rape a whole town into starting a fanatical, raging fight for possession of a worthless clump of cloth. Sorry, but you're not gonna sell me on that. Not wanting to hurt people isn't the same as not hurting people. Personal experience with the mentally ill speaking here. I'll take my chances with the meathead.

5463209 Look, are you really gonna give me this much crap because of ONE episode of the show? Yes, Twilight demonstrates mental instability in one episode, is it implied she might be insane in any other episode? (Haven't seen them all so I wouldn't know.) As far as I know she's her usual self in all other episodes, I know in the real world if someone goes nuts for a day or two they will likely do it again, but this is a world of talking ponies where gods of chaos and disharmony can convert to good.

Cut me some fucking slack.

Actually, I've never even seen the cartoon, I'm just being argumentative for the hell of it. Sorry, just couldn't resist the opportunity.

5463209 All I can say to you is that Brawler ended up in jail because it looked like he enjoyed hurting others. Twilight wasn't put in a cell because she obviously didn't.

I don't know why the writers of the show didn't put Twilight in a mental institute. Maybe it would be too dark for kids maybe a plot line of Twilight's recovery would be too complex for them, I don't know. I'm not one of the show's writers, I'm a sixteen year old fanfic writer. The story takes place after season 4, if any character did something stupid back in the other seasons I can't do anything about it. (No I won't write an AU)

5463806 Twilight cracks completely under any sort of stress EXCEPT when there's extreme danger involved, for some odd reason.
Lesson Zero, as stated, is not the only instance wherein she cracks like a walnut, I can't remember the exact episodes, but pretty much any one of them wherein minor and/or major stress is put on one or two characters. (Remember Twilight freaking during the parasprites episode? "OKAY EVERYBODY, WE JUST GOTTA BUILT AN EXACT REPLICA OF PONYVILLE IN FIVE MINUTES OVER THERE!")

Update please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rainbowkiss:

5504850 I'm working on it, with any luck the next chapter will be out this week.

*Reads Description....*

HE PUNCHES EVERYTHING!!!!!!1!1!!1!!

I'll read the story now...

Man, I like how the guy interacts with the girls, especially the fight with RD and Pinkie and his sarcasm towards Twilight.

Well, that ended better than I thought it would.

5534795 How'd you think it would end?

5535884 with him burnt to a crisp.

5537434 So, did you like it or not? I can't really tell.

5537456

*insert adjective for a strong yes*

Better as slice of life. This is great, even better than I'd expected. Keep it up!:raritystarry:

And lo behold, Apple Bloom asks for advice from this guy.

5692158 Oh shoot, and here I was hoping that would be a twist

I enjoyed the chapter. Brawler's past and psychological issues were interesting and the food fight, along with his interaction with the girls, was hilarious.

5692185

AND LO BEHOLD, THE TRUE PLOT TWIST IS REVEALED!

THE CMC ARE ACTUALLY ASSASSINS!

APPLE BLOOM! POISONER SURPREME!
SCOOTALOO! CLOSE RANGE MASTER!
SWEETIE BELLE! SORCERESS SNIPER!

THEY ARE!

THE ASSASSIN MARK CRUSADERS!

If Celestia gets brutal comeuppance for stupidly locking up a teenage pony in jail for eight years simply because she was disturbed by his fighting, I will officially love this story.

5692222 Yeah, that's about all I'm waiting for. I half expect him to go to the newspapers tbh.

He got my love on this though,

"You put up with that bitch?" he asked, turning his head to look at Rainbow Dash.

Also for some reason I can kinda see a Dashie ship working in all of this.

5692278 If there's a romance, 1 I'm not sure it will be successful and 2 it will most definitely NOT be with Rainbow Dash. Way too obvious.

5692222 Don't forget, Brawler's not exactly innocent. Like Celestia said in the last chapter, regardless of the circumstances he beat up twenty members of the royal guard. I'm pretty sure that it's a universal law that if you attack police/the army then you're gonna get in trouble. I'm not saying there won't be comeuppance, but it might not be as extreme as you're hoping for.

5692839 Eh, I can live with that.

I imagine Brawler being voiced by Kirk Thornton.

5692839 Eh, I say his talent being fighting, is no different than my addiction to coke....diet coke, but that's the point. Fighting isn't inherently bad. Coke isn't exclusively a drug. Basically, there are no absolutes when it comes to good and bad. His talent is fighting, not murder. I think Celestia needs to think about that. ...huh....i wonder how many cutie marks i could fing a good and a bad translation for...I'm actually gonna try.

Locksmith/Thievery
Drinking booze/Making booze
Handcuffs-Catching crooks/being a crook
Snails-Study's bugs/cooks "Fancy" cuisine.
A Knife-Stabbing ponies/makes blades

That took me two minutes. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this session of "MLTL's nonsensible, sickly blatherings."

I always wanted to have a all out good fight XD man I love that scene. I hope that or if Applebloom ask for advice for their cutie marks hr would teach them karate like that one part in the episode where the cmc did karate.

5700637 i dunno, i havent been feeling too great. and i blather when im like this.

Ponies! Tonight we dine in shugarcube corner!

I'd hate Celestia too, if she locked me up like that.

I have in mind an image of the Crusaders asking Brawler for advice on how to get their marks, and him refusing them.

"You don't want marks like mine, girls. Celestia'll lock you away."

Was eager as hell to see this one update. Still hoping some ponies lower their opinion of Celestia after what she did. I'd say she needed punished for it, but royalty and all that.

Some part of me is really hoping for Dashie shipping.

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