Chapter 16 (Revised)
Twilight let out a large sigh as she sat on her throne. It had only been a few days since she'd sent the letter about Cackling Lightning to her brother, but it felt like months. For reason being, for the last few days she'd been trying to get War on Changelings published. Her status as a princess allowed her to make publishing the book top priority, but there was still a lot of bureaucracy involved in the process. Most of it was centered around unbanning the book, then making sure no publisher censored it. Something that Twilight had gotten tired of repeating.
"Yes, I want the book republished word for word. No, I don't want you to tune down the gore, etc. etc."
During this process she'd also told Brawler about Cackling Lightning, and asked for his opinion. His answer had not been encouraging.
"What do want me to say? She was a Fighter and the war broke her. I'm not going to bullshit you by saying she was just misunderstood. Sunshine bucked up a lot of Fighters' lives, including my own, but that doesn't mean we're all innocent."
When Twilight protested that Cackling Lightning was innocent, Brawler flatly asked her if she'd want to live in the same neighborhood as a mare who laughed as she murdered hundreds of thinking feeling creatures, even if she had a sympathetic past. Twilight didn't have an answer for that.
She let out another great sigh and leaned her head against her throne.
When did my life become so complicated?
It was true that Twilight never really had a 'normal' life. She had become Princess Celestia's personal student when she was just a filly, she had fought monsters, Gods, and a being of pure Chaos. And to top it all off she had become an alicorn and a Princess of Equestria.
But none of those events had been morally complex. Now she was fighting against her mentor and secondary mother figure, and what was Twilight fighting for? The rights of ponies who enjoyed beating each other senseless. Who had prompted her to fight? A former convict who, regardless of circumstances, put sixteen Royal Guards in the hospital and repeatedly stated he had enjoyed himself while doing it. What had this fight led her to do? Tear apart the image of her big brother's childhood hero, and replace it with an utterly broken, and utterly psychotic mare.
Twilight buried her face in her hooves.
If this is the 'right' thing to do, why do I feel sick to my stomach every time I think about it?
The one thing that kept her going was the fact that the idea of doing nothing made her feel even worse. How could she ignore this? How could she ignore Celestia declaring that if a pony had a certain kind of mark, they were unfit to live in Equestria? How could she ignore Celestia lying about history?
Twilight couldn't ignore any of it. She had to press forward and finish what she started. Fighters were a part of Equestria, and a part of ponykind's history. They weren't the most glamourous or morally upstanding ponies, but they didn't deserve to be wiped out.
Twilight chuckled.
Here I am, fighting for the Fighters. Definitely not what expected to be doing as the Princess of Friendship.
The sound of a door opening interrupted her musing.
"Hey Twilight?" called Spike. "You really need to see this."
Twilight got off her throne and turned to face him. He was holding a piece of the parchment they used for Dragon Mail.
"Did Celestia send me something?" asked Twilight, trotting over to him.
Spike shook his head.
"It's from Cadence. Do you want me to read it or-?"
Twilight answered by plucking the letter out of his claws and levitating it in front of her.
Dear Twilight,
It was really good to hear from you. I'm glad that you're getting used to your new position and castle, and I would love to come over as soon as I get the chance.
Unfortunately I don't think I'll get the chance any time soon, and I have a feeling Shining's visit isn't going to be pleasant.
Twilight blinked.
"Shining's visit?"
"Keep reading," prompted Spike.
He got really upset when he read your claim about Laughing Light being a lie. I tried to calm him down but, well you know how he can get. If it's a professional problem he can keep a cool head through anything from a misbehaving soldier to a demonic invasion, but the second the issue becomes personal he gets frantic and doesn't think things through. As soon as he finished reading your letter he dropped everything then got a ticket for the next train to Ponyville. That's why I sent this through Dragon Mail, it was the only way I could let you know he was coming.
Try not to worry too much. I'm sure he'll calm down on the train ride and you'll be able to explain to him what happened. But in case he's still a bit frantic, try to calm him down before you explain about Cackling Lightning. If his Laughing Light really was a lie he'll be upset, but if you explain it to him while he's calm he shouldn't do anything rash.
Good luck,
Cadence
P.S. Don't worry about me, I can handle court for awhile without him.
Twilight stared at the letter for a few moments.
". . .Horseapples."
Celestia had had a rough few days. It had started when she discovered that Luna had used some of the royal treasury to buy training equipment for Brawler. By the time Celestia had found out the money had already been spent, plus the amount used was negligible, so she couldn't do anything about it. Not that she didn't give Luna hell for what she'd done. The idea of the money meant for the betterment of Equestria being given to a criminal so he could corrupt others made her skin crawl, and she made sure to let Luna know it.
Then she had received a letter from Twilight informing her that she was republishing War on Changelings and listing the reasons why Celestia couldn't stop it. The reasons being that while Celestia was technically the most powerful princess of Equestria (due to her popularity plus the fact that she was the most experienced), she wouldn't be able to just cancel an order supported by two other princesses. If she wanted to fight republication of the book, the legal fight would become public, giving the book more attention and make Equestria's citizens question the unity of the four princesses. Twilight also pointed out that if Celestia battled the republication she was likely to lose, because since Twilight was so close to Cadence it would only take a little persuasion on her part to get her on their side. Leaving Celestia in a very public battle against all three other princesses. Something Celestia definitely didn't want.
So Celestia grit her teeth and allowed Twilight to submit the book for republication. But she made sure to suggest to the publishers that the book should be censored. After all, they wouldn't want their names attached to anything too controversial, would they?
Of course, knowing Twilight, this would do little more than slow the process down. Her former student may not have been a historian, but she was an academic at heart and would never allow a historical lie of this significance to continue existing.
Even if the truth was being kept secret for a reason.
Celestia sucked in a breath through her nose and let out a subtle sigh. She couldn't let such thoughts distract her, and she definitely couldn't let evidence of her troubles appear on her face at the moment. For reason being, she was riding her chariot into Canterlot in order to make a public visit to the new hospital and mental ward.
The reason she was appearing there was that it had been a personal project of hers, and quite a long one at that. The building that was now the hospital used to be Canterlot's maximum security prison. A little less than a century ago, the crime rate in Canterlot dropped to the point where the prison simply wasn't needed anymore. Instead of simply tearing the building down, Celestia wanted to symbolize the progress the city had made. Converting a place of punishment to a place of healing.
And not just any place of healing, oh no. The prison had been the best it could be, therefore the hospital had to be the best it could be. The best equipment, the best treatments, the best doctors, all of these were a must. That insistence of having 'the best', plus the not insignificant task of turning cellblocks into medical rooms that didn't feel claustrophobic, plus her own busy schedule was what kept Celestia in the planning stage of the project for so many years. When Luna had returned and took some of Celestia's workload, she had finally had enough free time to finish planning and get the project started. A couple years later and it was finally done!
Celestia allowed herself to smile as she stepped off her carriage and addressed the staff and the press.
Perhaps Luna and Twilight will understand if I show them this. Because there are less Fighters in the world there is less crime. Allowing us to dedicate ourselves to helping and healing, instead of a war against crime.
She pushed those thoughts aside. This wasn't the time for formulating arguments, this was a time to let her little ponies know how much she cared for them.
Once she and members of the hospital's staff had finished their speeches and answering questions for the press, it was time for a tour. The Chief Physician, Healing Hooves, led Celestia and a couple of reporters through the hospital's halls, explaining the functions of various things as they went.
While they were making their way through the second level of the mental ward's dorms, something strange happened.
"Ah, horseapples!" exclaimed a voice from inside one of the dorms. The tour group paused, and turned towards the dorm the voice had come from.
Celestia noticed Healing Hooves had broken into a cold sweat.
"Is something wrong, Mr. Hooves?"
The pale blue earth pony swallowed.
"It's, not important, Your Majesty," he said.
"Whoever is in there seems to disagree," said Celestia.
Before Healing Hooves could reply a light brown pegasus mare came out of the dorm.
"Oh, Mr. Hooves! Look, I'm sorry but it happened again. No matter how I cover it up it keeps on burning throuuu-" the mare dragged off when she noticed all the ponies following her boss. She sighed, and shook her head. "I am SO fired."
"No, no, it's fine, Amber. You couldn't have known," said Healing Hooves.
"What keeps burning through?" asked a reporter.
"Isn't that a significant safety hazard?" asked another.
"It hasn't ever damaged anything that wasn't covering it," protested Amber. "It just, burns itself into whatever we cover it with."
"What burns itself into this hospital?" asked Celestia.
Healing Hooves sighed.
"A bit of vandalism from one of the prisoners who used to be held here. No matter what we do we can't get rid of it. It burns through paint, it burns through posters. Heck, when we gave up and simply demolished the wall the words were burned into they just reappeared nearby, then moved back to their original position when we rebuilt the wall. We brought in a magic expert to deal with it, but she couldn't remove it either. Something about it 'feeling wrong'." He shook his head. "I'm sorry we didn't inform you, Your Majesty. We were planning on just leaving this room unoccupied so the words wouldn't bother anyone."
"May I see them?" asked Celestia.
"Of course Your Highness," he gestured her toward the door.
Celestia frowned as she trotted into the dorm.
'Felt wrong', some kind of enchantment maybe? Why would a prisoner enchant their vandal-
Her thoughts screeched to a halt when she saw the name burned into the wall. It took every inch of her willpower not to snarl. Emblazoned on the wall, in charred black letters, was a name that represented everything she was fighting against.
FIRE CRACKER
Even from beyond the grave, Fighters continue to tear apart our nation's peace.
"Allow me to remove this," said Celestia, as neutrally as she could manage.
"Y-you really shouldn't bother yourself, Your Highness," said Healing Hooves.
"No, no, I insist," said Celestia. Her horn began to glow yellow as she reached out with her magic and touched the name. Instantly, she knew what the mare meant when she said it 'felt wrong'.
Wha-? Soul Magic? Why in the name of the Sun and Stars would a criminal pour part of her soul into something as mundane as writing her name?
She shook her head. It was likely Fire Cracker simply hadn't known what she was doing, and had utilized part of her soul by mistake in order to keep the name from being erased. Therefore, it was unlikely to have any complicated defenses like most layered Soul Spells did. She pressed forward and chipped away at the letters.
Instantly her head swam and she was buried under a multitude of images, and sounds. Each flickering in and out of existence before she could get the full picture.
She was significantly shorter, only the size of a highschool filly. She had lost her wings and her enormous magic reserves. But she had always been this way, hadn't she?
Whatever, what was important was the shitstain of a mud pony squirming beneath her hoof.
"Aw, quit bitchin' Gravi, you're right where you belong! Under a unicorn's hoof, and eating dirt. That's what you mud ponies deserve isn't it?"
Gravel Grit managed to twist his head sideways, he spat out some dirt.
"Listen you-"
She held her other hoof in front of his face, and summoned her fire. The flames licked Gravel's face and he quickly shut up.
"No, no, keep talking. Please, talk, insult me, fight back, give me an excuse to hurt you. C'mon Gravi, you can do that for little ol' me, can't ya?"
She shook her head, and laughed.
"What am I saying? I don't need an excuse to hurt you."
She cocked her foreleg back, then something smashed into the back of her head and everything went black.
Now she was even smaller. She was sitting at a table with the HUGEST birthday cake she'd ever seen in front of her. It had chocolate frosting and sprinkles and marshmallows and it looked so so so so so yummy, she couldn't WAIT to dig in!
Mommy, Daddy, and her big brother Sun Stone were singing 'Happy Birthday', when they finished, she sucked in a HUGE breath and blew out all four candles. AWESOME! Now she didn't have to be friends with any icky colts! Except Sun Stone of course, he was the bestest brother anypony could have.
Daddy started slicing the cake while Mommy and Sun Stone congratulated her. She bounced up and down in her seat, watching, mesmerized as Daddy floated over her slice. She said a quick thank you then dug in as fast as she could.
EEEE! It was even more yummy than she imagined! This was the best day EVER!
"Hey look guys, it's the little failure."
Oh no, not now. Just let me get to class Gravel.
Too late, one of his goons cut her off.
"What's the matter Shitty? You not happy to see me?"
She gulped and turned to face the large grey earth pony.
"M-my name is S-sunny Sky, G-gravel. You k-know that."
"I k-know that," mocked Gravel Grit. His friends snickered.
"I just think 'Shitty' is a better name for you. I mean, that's what you are right? Just a shitty little failure who STILL hasn't gotten their Cutie Mark in highschool, and doesn't even know levitation magic!"
Gravel and his friends threw their heads back and laughed. She looked down at the floor, tears rolling down her face. She wanted nothing more than to disappear. To get away from Gravel's jeering, and the fact that she still couldn't cast any magic.
"HEY! Leave my sister alone!" shouted Sun Stone. He was marching toward them as fast as he could, his eyes set in steely determination.
Gravel scoffed.
"Ah, screw this. C'mon guys let's go," he shoved past her, making her stumble, but at least he was gone.
Sun Stone's face softened as he walked up to her.
"Hey, are you okay?"
She sniffled, then jumped forward and hugged him. He returned the hug and patted her head.
"It's okay, it's okay," he assured her.
"N-no it's n-not. Th-they're right! I am just a shitty failure who can't cast anythin-"
"Hey, hey," Sun Stone made her look up at him. "You are NOT a failure, alright? Gravel and his stupid friends don't know anything. They're just a bunch of stupid mud ponies."
She tilted her head. "Mud ponies?"
"Ah, a-heh," Sun Stone rubbed the back of his head as he let her go. "It's a really mean insult for earth pony, don't let Mom know I told you alright?"
She giggled, but then a thought hit her.
"But you're an earth pony too."
Sun Stone shrugged.
"That just means I can call ponies that but you can't, because society is weird like that."
She giggled again, and thanked Celestia that her brother always had her back.
She sat in the principal's office with her forearms crossed. The guard who had knocked her out stood at attention beside her, ready to restrain her if she made any sudden moves.
In front of her, the principal continued her rant.
"Broken nose, black eye, a severe concussion, several chipped teeth and third degree burns all over his face that will likely scar him until the day he dies! What in the name of Celestia do you have to say for yourself!?" demanded the white earth pony.
"He deserved it," she growled.
The principal sputtered.
"Wh-WHAT!"
"Ask around the school! Ponies'll be bucking grateful I put that mud pony in his place," she spat.
"Watch your mouth young lady. You're in enough trouble as is, you don't need to give me more excuses to expel you."
She blinked. "Wait, what?"
The principal slammed a form down on her desk.
"You heard me. Unless your parents can figure out SOME way to make me let you stay on my school, you're done. Go and empty your locker, then go home and inform your parents what happened."
The principal gestured for them to leave.
She scoffed, then got up and left.
She was surrounded by Gravel and his friends again. She could hear them taunting her, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. Their words felt more like waves, crashing into her from all directions and nearly knocking her down.
Why wouldn't they just go away?
Go away, go away, go away, go away.
"GO AWAY!" she shouted.
A blast of heat radiated from her horn and slammed into the bullies, and knocked them back. They freaked out and ran.
She blinked, then realized just how warm she felt. Like her whole body was wrapped in a hug. She looked down, and yelped.
Her whole body was on fire, but it didn't hurt. It was keeping her safe.
Her surprise broke her focus, and the flames swiftly died. The next few hours were a blur for her. She was escorted to the principal's but once it became clear she had had no intention to hurt anypony she was dismissed. Her parents then picked her and Sun Stone up early. Once they got home they discovered that she'd FINALLY gotten her Cutie Mark! Her parents were a bit put off by the fiery explosion but she loved it.
She played more with her fire. Summoning it to her hooves and making it dance through the air.
"Wow, you're really good at that," said Sun Stone. "You put magic fire crackers to shame."
She paused then balled up the fire in front of her. She then quickly spread her hooves out, making the fire spread thin and give an audible 'CRACK'.
"Fire Cracker, do you think that should be my marked name?" she asked.
Sun Stone shrugged.
"You don't have to change your name if you don't want to, I mean, I didn't. But if you do want to then it fits."
She nodded.
"I want to." She looked make at the fire in her hooves. "Fire Cracker. That's who I am now."
She glared at the back of Gravel's head. He was tormenting a short green pegasus with an orange mane. Ever since she'd gotten the hang of fire magic and levitation, he had moved on to other targets.
That would end once she was done with him.
She looked down at her forehoof. After a moment, it began to glow and radiate its comforting warmth.
She was gonna make that mud pony pay. For everything he'd ever done.
And she was gonna enjoy doing it.
She was walking along the street at night, with no particular destination in mind. She enjoyed walks from time to time, especially when somepony was dumb enough to try and mug her. That was always fun. Though by now, a lot of the crooks knew better than to mess with her. Seeing as those who did usually ended up with the four b's: bruises, burns, and broken bones.
She heard the sound of somepony being mugged in the alley across the street. She looked over, debating whether or not to get involved, then froze. A thestral was mugging an orange earth pony stallion with a blue mane.
Instantly, her body was engulfed in flames. Only it wasn't the usual comforting warmth, no, she was literally BURNING with rage.
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY BROTHER!" she roared, and charged toward them.
Halfway across the street she launched a fireball at the thestral. It knocked him off and set his mane ablaze, but she wasn't done. Finishing her charge, she smashed the mother of all haymakers into the side of the thestral's face. He was launched backward into the alley, and landed in a burning crumbled heap. The next instant, he was on his hoofs, shrieking in agony and running away to search for water.
She took a few deep breaths, then let her flames die. She turned toward her brother.
"Are you alri-"
He scrabbled back away from her, eyes wide with fear.
She stood there, stunned, then scowled and walked away.
"Oh shit, Fire Cracker! I'm sorry!" exclaimed Sun Stone, jumping to his hooves and running after her.
He's lying, he's scared of her. Just like her parents were when they kicked her out.
"Fire Cracker, I'm sorry! I haven't seen you in three years, you just startled me is all!"
He's lying, she saw his face. He's scared of her, scared of her fire. He wants her to put it away, just like every other pony.
"Fire Cracker-"
"Buck off, mud pony," she spat.
Sun Stone stumbled, stunned, but kept following.
"Listen to me, please-"
"You have more mud in your ears than usual mud pony? I told you to BUCK OFF!"
A wall of fire burst into existence between them, and she stomped away.
She wasn't crying. She wasn't crying.
It was just the heat, it was making her eyes water. Heat did that right?
Whatever, she wasn't crying. That stupid mud pony meant nothing to her right?
Right.
She definitely wasn't crying.
She was in a shitty bar. But it had booze and an excuse to start shit with anypony who looked at her funny. What else could she ask for?
She took another shot. It would be awhile before she was drunk, and she wanted to get there ASAP. It was her birthday goddammit, she deserved to treat herself.
It was cold.
Cold and grey and dark.
The walls were pressing in. It was getting darker.
She needed fire, she needed warmth.
Where was it? Why wasn't it coming when she called?
Had it abandoned her? NO! That was impossible.
Fire was her ally, fire was her friend. Fire was her LIFE.
It would never abandon her. Not like her family, not like the world, not like the sun.
Fire would always be there for her.
So why wouldn't it come?
Celestia snapped back to reality, the name in front of her gone. Not a trace of it left on the cold white wall. Celestia shuddered and did her best to hide her deep breaths.
She could hear the ponies beside her talking, but she ignored them and stared at the now blank wall. Her mind reeling from all the things she’d seen.
Fire Cracker was a moody alcoholic who beat up other ponies for fun. She had also been abandoned by her parents.
Fire Cracker used extreme racism in order to feel better about herself. She had inadvertently learned to do that when her older brother comforted her after she’d been verbally abused by bullies.
Fire Cracker had been violent from the day she earned her Cutie Mark. She had been defending herself, and doing her best to protect others.
Fire Cracker pushed her older brother away when all he’d wanted to do was help her. She didn’t want to be hurt by the fact that he was scared of her.
Fire Cracker was a Fighter. She was also a pony.
These conflicting statements waged war in Celestia’s mind. Fighters didn’t deserve to live in a kingdom of peace, yet Fire Cracker had been a Fighter, and anypony could tell that she had desperately needed help. What had Celestia done? Thrown her in a cell to rot.
All Fighters deserved that.
None of her precious little ponies deserved that.
“Your Majesty?”
“Your Highness, are you alright!?”
The ponies beside her were growing more and more frantic. Celestia squeezed her eyes shut, then pushed her warring thoughts to the back of her mind.
“I am fine,” her voice was shakier than she’d like. She sucked in a breath through her nose, and let it out her mouth.
“The name had been enchanted with Soul Magic.” Her voice was regal once more. “It caught me by surprise, but I was able to deal with it.”
“Soul Magic? Isn’t that an extremely advanced form of magic only Archmages can perform?” asked a unicorn reporter.
“Why would such such powerful magic be used for vandalism?” asked Healing Hooves.
Celestia shook her head.
“It is unlikely Fire Cracker intentionally used it. What probably happened was that she was overcome with emotion while writing her name, and inadvertently began to literally pour her soul into the spell.”
“Why?”
Desperation to be remembered.
“I don’t know. It is unlikely we’d be able to find out, as the markings are at least one hundred years old.” The lie felt bitter on Celestia’s tongue, but it was necessary.
“Even still, there’s probably a hell of a story there. Are there any records left from when this inmate was imprisoned?” asked another reporter. The other members of the press began jotting down notes with great enthusiasm.
“My little ponies, please,” said Celestia. “We are here in order to learn about a place of healing, not to investigate a criminal who’s been dead for hundreds of years. Let the violence of the past STAY in the past. It benefits nopony to bring it up in the present.”
The reporters looked sheepish, and scribbled out their notes.
Celestia felt a spike of guilt stab itself into her heart. Fire Cracker’s final wish had been that she be remembered. The good, the bad, ALL of it. Fire Cracker had been an utter mess of a mare and she’d known it. She didn’t care, she wanted ponies to know her story. She wanted to insure that she didn’t die both alone and forgotten. It was an innocent wish. One that anypony could understand. Almost anypony would do their best to keep Fire Cracker’s story alive after seeing her story.
Celestia knew all this, and here she was, doing her best to bury the memory of Fire Cracker. To make sure it never saw the light of day.
This must be done. It is necessary for peace.
No matter how many times she repeated the thought, her guilt didn’t fade.
Marehammed Ali was old. She knew that. Hell, she felt it. Every damn minute of the day she was reminded of it. Her forehooves ached with every step, and shook like leaves every time she lifted them. She would sometimes walk in a room, then forget which building she was in. And every time she looked in the mirror she swore she got uglier. She had never been much of a looker in the first place, but combine that with wrinkles, scars and a thrice broken nose and you had a face only a mother could love.
Not that she ever regretted her career choice. She had trouble remembering things these days, but she NEVER forgot who she was. She was Marehammed Ali, Queen of the Ring, five time champ of the goddamn world, and winner of over fifty fights. She was damn proud of who she was, and damn sad that boxing had come to an end.
When old Sunbutt made boxing illegal Ali had gone on her first and only bender. It hadn't been fair, not to anypony. Not to the fans, and especially not the boxers. That Tyton kid in particular, he was a bit rough around the edges but he was also on the road to beating all her records. Then his career was just over, right when he was in his prime. Damn shame.
The mailpony dropping off today's letters interrupted her thoughts. She slowly made her way over to the door, retrieved her mail, then trotted back to the living room of the apartment she was staying in. She plopped onto the armchair, retrieved her reading glasses from the side table, and started sifting through her mail.
The only thing interesting was a letter from her agent, Brass Buttons. She opened it, and read it.
Then she reread it.
Then she read it again just to make sure.
But no matter how many times she read it, the message remained the same. In Ponyville there's a young stallion named Brawler who runs a boxing gym despite boxing being illegal. He is currently training three fillies and one Lunar Guard, and he's quite talented.
Marehammed Ali stared at the letter for a few moments, then chuckled.
"I think I know where my next stop is."
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good job
Took celestia long enough.
Honestly I think this is an awesome way to go about doing this...plus I feel the whole incident could be very symbolic with Celestia healing from her own history of fighting to make a peaceful society for her little ponies...realizing that she herself is a fighter abiet in a different way...no creature that claims any amount of sapience can truly have nothing to fight for and I think Celestia is coming to grips with this fact honestly is best done by via being force to see what she is doing the hard way.
In a world where magical talking ponies that control nature, the weather, and the heavenly bodies is normal, a prison being repurposed into a hospital isn't too farfetched at all.
I saw you were online last night, and wondered if you were still writing. Glad to see I was right. Welcome back!
Funny thing: I finally watched a boxing match from beginning to end about a week or two ago. I always knew that boxing required physical training, but seeing two guys go at it with strategy and tactics really made me appreciate how much of a sport it really is, and not just two guys wailing on each other.
...Well, it IS two guys wailing on each other, but it's also interesting and detailed in HOW they do it.
Anyway, I liked this chapter. Poor Twilight is finding out that the Right Thing isn't always the EASY thing, and Celestia finally realized that she wasn't being empathetic or sympathetic at all. I think her heel-face turn was a bit quick; she could have used a bit more personal introspection and self-reflection, as well as reflection on the memories just dumped into her. As it stands it feels a little... underwhelming. Like it was so quick she didn't really have time to absorb the emotional impact. Or rather, we didn't see it. Not a deal-breaker, but just one of those things.
Still, always nice to see someone realizing they're being a moron and deciding to try and fix their buttheadedness. (That is totally a word. Totes. Do kids even say that any more? God, I'm old.)
Anyway, nice. Hope to see more. Sometime. Soon-ish. (Not complaining; I'd be a hypocrite if I did.) Hopefully with more pummeling.
So awesom and the prison thing was awesom i Love it so much!!
Finally, s'all I'm sayin'.
I thought the prison/hospital scene was quite good. Forcing Celestia to actually feel the pain her laws were causing might have been the only way.
8034386 Sadly, sometimes that's the only way that works.
8034312 Agreed.
8034359 Again, Agreed.
Well, this is gonna be an interesting brother sister reunion.
need more
It took Celesia experiencing Fire Cracker's life to finally understand 'oh shit, they're ponies too.' It's funny to think that the very reason Celesia created this hospital is to help ponies like exactly like Fire Cracker. The only reason she made no attempt to help Fire Cracker was because of the mark on her flank, despite the fact she's been denying it.
The one point she seems to miss is the 'causation does not equal correlation' she makes early on; there are less fighters, therefore there is less crime. Looking at Fire Cracker's life, statically speaking, there were more 'normal' ponies committing crimes than the fighter, whose only crime was existing (for the most part).
Oh, by the way, Firecracker was sentenced to MANEHATTEN maximum security prison, not Canterlot. You might want to fix the previous chapter (chapter 10) for this to work.
I feel like Celestia's realization could've taken just a bit longer. Maybe mull over what she saw, realized that there's more to Fire Cracker than she thought, and then extend that thought process to other Fighters she knows. That's basically what happened, but the part where she decides that all Fighters deserve better than what she did feels slightly rushed. I'm not saying she wouldn't reach that same conclusion, I just think it would've helped if she spent a day or so thinking about it, weighing this terrible new perspective against the things she always tried to justify herself with.
That said, this was otherwise a really good chapter. I am very much engaged in how the issue with Shining Armor will play out.
8034511 Ah shit, on it
8034514 I'm working on changing that right now
The scene was good but the conclusion was rushed. It would've been better if the vision caused her to forgive Brawler and let the book go through first as well as making boxing legal again but have the positive perception come into itself over time by seeing how they're a benefit rather than telling us.
8034604 I'm gonna fix that as soon as I can
Oh, I forgot to say this, but I actually did like the flashback scene. Granted, it begs the question of how Fire Cracker had any idea how to use Soul Magic in the first place, but that's not really important. It was really well done.
I still want to see Brawler beat Celestia to within an inch of her life.
You know Celestia there may be a reason Why crime seems to be down that has nothing to do with your persecution of the Fighters. As what has been shown with Brawler, there are members of the guard who do not have the moral high ground. Maybe they are taking bribes to keep quiet about criminal activities, maybe the have friends outside the guard who are criminals that they are looking the other way for and protecting. Maybe some of your own guard ARE the Criminals and there is nothing the common pony can do about it because they'd end up in jail on false allegations and jacked up charges just like Brawler did with that original guard.
8034707 My guess is that she gained knowledge of Soul magic via black market or making deals with shady individuals.
Great story! I absolutely adore pony martial art stories, and this one is really well written. If you haven't read the Savage Skies series by Moguera, i strongly recommend it
Do you box yourself? I'm a mixed martial artist, with a strong interest in the technical aspects of different martial arts. Feel free to write if you wanna bounce idea's off of someone or want to discuss technical fighting
p.s. Everyone, feel free to recommend similar stories to me
You've no idea how glad I am to be able to move this story from deadfics. When I saw it updated? I squealed and shook in my seat. Not proud of it, but well done you magnificent bastard.
In regards to the chapter, I don't think it was too far-fetched. I think it's a fair way to make Celestia see if from a fighter's point of view. I also find it believable given how much magic seems to be tied into emotions in the show, so well done. Maybe a bit sudden with Celestia there, and soul magic may be an eh term for it (Mostly because I like the thought of magic tied to incredibly long/lingering emotions or some such) but it's solid. Some will scream plot device, but fuck'em.
8035451 I am planning on revising Celestia's reaction as soon as my editor is done proofreading.
8035448 I don't actually box myself. The only martial arts training I've had was a few months of Soo Bahk Do from when I was in middle school. I wanted to get into boxing, but my parents were worried about me suffering permanent brain damage so they wouldn't let me.
As for talking about martial arts, do you know any styles that focus on countering your opponent? I'll need that for Sweetie Belle's hoof to hoof stuff.
Thanks for the story recommendation, I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
Eh, it seems a bit easy. Celestia goes from 100 straight to 0 in her crusade after one encounter with a Fighter's Soul Magic fueled spell? Despite the hundreds of years of unceasing and merciless persecution of them and all they represent? I was half sure that the visions would just strengthen her beliefs and she would continue her crusade with renewed zeal, with outright conflict with Luna and Twilight as well since they are 'tainted.'
She's as good as murdered dozens or hundreds of ponies through the years: imprisoned them for their entire remaining lives, erased them and everything they've ever done from history, she does not and cannot get off easy. But doubtless she'll feel guilty for a bit, Brawler might get some catharsis/payback, and then forgiveness will be granted by all and everything will be great again.
Forgiveness and a lack of lasting or permanent consequences is overabundant in FiM, sometimes remorse or changing your mind is not enough, your actions have consequences and victims. Victims have a right to their hate and the right to demand some form of recompense, as well as to refuse to offer forgiveness or accept apologies and more should do so.
I still wish to see Brawler beat Celestia to within an inch of her life... what she just did to Fire Cracker's wish of just wanting to be remembered pissed me off. Christ. I saw you were gonna change it, but fuck sakes man... Celestia needs to be punched hard in the face.
But damn fine update man, damn fine update.
8035650 I'm going to revise this chapter. I wrote most of it after midnight because my muse hit me out of nowhere and I didn't want to stop. In the revision I'll have Celestia process the memories more before changing her mind.
Plus Brawler's not going to forgive her anytime soon. He'll get his catharsis, but he won't forgive her.
8034833
'Causation does not equal correlation' is the technical term. And those are all good examples. Statistically, there were more non-fighter criminals in Fire Cracker's memories. She only committed one offense she was caught for and got life for it.
8034707 8035135
I think the idea is that soul magic is instinctual, at least in Fire Cracker's case. She wanted to be remembered when she etched her name on the wall. Despite the excruciating pain to do so, or rather because of it (she cast through an inhibitor ring), she had the willpower to pour her metaphoric soul into it to the point where it became literal.
8035858
Hey, regardless I'm overjoyed to see an update. The overly-forgiving/quick 'redemptions' (I'm looking at you, Starlight Glimmer) nature of most fics is just one of my pet peeves (I'm a big fan of spite and grudges. Screw forgive and forget, either forgive or forget, never both.)
8035543
Well, countering is an important aspect in most styles, but I don't know of any that could be said to focus entirely on counter punching. Jiu Jitsu (traditional Japanese, not Brazilian) is a good example of a style that focuses on countering in general. It teaches you to redirect force instead of meeting it head on, manipulation your opponents center of gravity, which is how most of the throws are accompliced. The great thing about this is that it takes almost no strength to pull off, just a lot of skill. I have personally been thrown by a girl less than half my size many times
As for straightforward counter-punching, i think you've already got the best two examples of that, with boxing and karate (particularly kyokushin karate).
If you wanted her to go in a more weapon oriented, or "gimmicky", direction, you could also read up on modern ninjutsu.
Lastly, my own favorite way of countering is with pressure points. It can be tricky to get right, but there are a lot of them, and with speed and accuracy, it can be a brutally effective fighting method.
Some of the easiest and most commonly used are:
Base of the skull, at the indention at the top of your neck
The hollow spot above you breastbone, at the base of you throat
Your groin, on either side of the crotch, where the thigh meets the hip
You can try and poke each of these places with a finger and get a feel for how little force it actually takes to cause pain. being hit full force there can take most people out of a fight instantly.
The first one isen't very useful for countering, but it is one of the most important and vulnerable pressure points, so i included it anyway. The second and third ones are, however. Stepping in and poking someone hard in the second one, particularly right after they exhale, can be incredibly uncomfortable, and cause coughing and make it painful to breathe for a little while. The third one is extremely useful for countering kicks. If you are fast enough, and can read you opponent, you can take the tip of you foot and shove him hard in that spot when he raises his leg to kick. It completely kills his forward momentum, is painful, and leaves him wide open.
There are many, many others, but most aren't useful once you've already engaged an opponent. Some are excellent at controlling a person, if you can get you hands on him before the fighting breaks out. A few of these holds are used by the police and bouncers.
8035917 Please get the next chapter up sooner than it took for this chapter to be brought up.
8035650
I concur with this guy, she slammed into reverse so hard she's probably gonna need a new tranny.
8037144
Agreed, the end result is perfectly acceptable but just reading it gave me whiplash.
The thought that immediately popped into my mind was "now she gotta dedicate a wing of the hospital to the poor mare."
The expression "a little too little & a little too late" comes to mind, Sunbutt. You made your bed, now lie in it.
neat
you know an interesting thing to see would be singular memories of other ponies whom touched the burnt mark and left a bit of themselves in it. nothing like full blown scenes, maybe echos of something, just a thought. another bit is that i think it's a bit too fast for celestia to change her mind like that, having a scene where she stews on the memories she saw and looking at some historic records might be better
8039638 I'm revising the chapter right now, hopefully it'll be out by tomorrow
8039641 i look forward to reading. thanks for reading the comment, don't need to take any of the ideas to heart but i imagine i'd be giddy if you do. have a pleasant edit ^^
That's the thing about criminals or most any group really. You squash their "hiding place" and they just regroup or reform with new members in a new place. In this instance when they vanished they seem to have went and joined up with the groups that could exert the power they want to wield and get away with it. Namely the nobles, the guard, the law offices, and probably the banks. Who better to get away with breaking the law than those who are supposed to be enforcing it and who better to get cover for them then their friends in the same or similar positions of power...
So Celestia sees the light!
And all it took was freaking SOUL MAGIC shoved into her face for her to realize she was being a douche.
Wonder how Brawler will react if Celestia tries to apologize to him?
Oh I know:
8050874 I'm working on revising this chapter
I must say, I like the changes that were made.
Just read the edited version. Way better. I totally dig it. Any complaints I had before have been erased.
No! Bad author! That's a rude cliffhanger. You stop that.
Necessary for peace? Celestia, you don't know what peace is.
8042004 And I don't even think that's enough
Ha, looks like Celestia is shaken by her psychopomp experience.
Anything built on lies is destined to crumble, even something as noble as peace. I wonder how the academic world will react to Twilight's book. I had a thought after reading this chapter of Celestia visiting the royal archives. The keeper, or whoever would be in charge, refuses her entry. They are guardians of knowledge, no matter how distasteful or controversial it may be, and Celestial betrayed that. I find that idea hilarious and justified, Celestia banned from her own library.
On another note, I think the Crystal Empire might be a place to visit at some point. A library of ancient knowledge, preserved through the ages and untouched by Celestia's censorship. Might be some Fighters chronicled there, especially considering their history fighting for/against Sombra.