Welcome to Gryphus! I hope you're in shape.
Ask for an autograph, draw a picture, do something! What is wrong with these hicks?
Trixie tried not to let it get to her, she really tried, but every farm she went past seemed to have little, bratty kids who gaped at her as she trotted down the road. Be it little gryphons with opened beaks, or minotaurs who didn't have anything better to do but stare at her silently as she went by. Sighing in aggravation, Trixie quickly cantered past the latest farm in her long trek.
It had taken Trixie over two months to get here, but she was finally nearing her goal. Looking out across the sparsely wooded farms, Trixie spotted the mountain. While from here, it looked like little more then a large, brown hunk of rock, it's what was inside of this mountain that mattered. Gryphus, Capital of the far flung Gryphon empire, and built within a hollowed out mountain.
The gryphons were a unique case for Equestria. The kingdom was close to Equestria's far northwest border, but had held itself apart from the pony kingdom for centuries. Trade was non-existant, and even communication was all but unheard of. Equestria kept several guard stations along the border specifically to ward off ponies from entering the kingdom. From all that Trixie had heard, nopony had made the trip to Gryphus in ages, and those that had before then, never returned.
Foal's tales, Trixie thought to herself. More likely some traders have found a nice niche buying from the empire, bribing the border guards to keep others away, and selling the wares for ridiculous sums in Equestria. They are probably also the ones spreading rumors of how dangerous the capital is to keep the profits for themselves. Too bad for them Trixie isn't a pony to be intimidated.
Still, she had to admit the Empire was a bit creepy, at least, for a pony. Most of the farms she had come across didn't deal in vegetables. Trixie had seen herds of deer, turkeys, ostriches, and she had to look away from a farm she was pretty sure was raising dogs and cats.
Carnivores...Trixie shuddered. This was not a trip she had looked forward to, but she was low on options. It was time for a new approach to get her life's desire.
As Trixie continued on, she started to see small dots around the mountain, flying along it, over it, and into it. From what little she had gathered before making this journey, the top of the mountain had fallen in centuries ago, making the inside into a well protected valley. Though it must have taken the gryphons ages to remove the rubble inside the hallowed out mountain, they somehow did it, creating a capital that was almost impossible to attack except from the air, where the gryphons excelled.
Nearing the capital, Trixie now saw two black gates far ahead of her, embedded into the sides of the mountain. They were open, allowing access to the kingdom. Trixie hurried her pace, unaware of when the gates would close. Night was fast approaching, and Trixie seemed to be one of the few travelers outside at the moment. She took note of a small group she managed to outpace for the entrance way. It consisted of two boars, a minotaur, and oddly enough, a donkey. Trixie wasn't too surprised at the first two, both boars and minotaurs tended to be fairly aggressive, and it made some sense they'd get along with gryphons. But the donkey?
Well, at least that means Trixie won't starve here, though her food options will probably be limited. Trixie's appearance shouldn't be too much of a shock to them as well.
Still, the group had on some strange paints. It ran mainly along their faces, backs, and front hooves. Must be a local thing. She thought, turning away from the group. Up ahead of her was the gates, with a lone guard watching over it from the left side. A large statue, probably of one of the older kings, had been erected on the right side.
Almost there. She thought, continuing her trot to the gates.
"Why, what is this I see? That horn, that fur, it is a pony!"
Looking to her left, Trixie saw the speaker stumbling out of an alley between two houses. As the figure left the shadows, Trixie was able to see the black stripes running along their body. The zebra came to a jarring halt a few steps from Trixie, making her scrunch up her muzzle as the smell of alcohol and filth hit her nose. Panting slightly, the zebra made eye contact with Trixie, and gave her a small grin. "What luck for you to meet me, for a price, I can get you through the city."
Trixie gave out a low groan. Why? Why is it only drunks and idiots approach Trixie these days? She felt her eyes forming a glare, and a scathing remark on the tip of her tongue.
No, wait. That was the old Trixie. The old Trixie only managed to make enemies of every pony she met. We promised to change, remember?
Letting out a sigh, Trixie forced her glare down, working a thin smile onto her face. When she felt she could restrain most of the heat in her voice, she said. "Sir ... umm ...Miss..?"
Giving her a strange glance, the Zebra smiled. "Is my voice, and face not clear? I am a female, named Zara, my dear."
"Right, Trixie is sorry about that, she's not run across many Zebras, and all the stripes tend to run everything together for her."
Zara's smile wilted a bit. "The stripes ...run together? Of this, I have heard never."
Chuckling a little and happy her efforts were working, Trixie nodded. " Well, that makes sense. You are a zebra, after all. But Trixie just never had any luck telling Zebras apart. She always thought it was a shame you don't have all the colors of fur ponies do. It would be easier to tell you apart, and probably really help bring color to your lands."
Zara was giving Trixie a strange look. She must be pondering on what Trixie said. It was pretty insightful. Perhaps bringing up dying her coat to be unique among her kind would be a good idea.
"Actually, now that I think of it, you do not need my help, you should save your bit."
Trixie drew in a deep, sweet breath as Zara took a few feet away from her, glad to be away from the smell. "Thank you for the talk, Zara. Umm..if you ever want to chat again, Trixie won't be very fara."
Zara seemed to stiffen up at this, and looked back briefly, though the darkened sky made it impossible for Trixie to see the expression on Zara's face. Without another word, Zara walked between the buildings again, and out of sight.
She must have been surprised. It's doubtful many ponies around here ever try to rhyme along with her. This friend thing may not be as hard as Trixie thought.
Trixie's happy thoughts came to an abrupt end moments later. As she was about to enter Gryphus, a large, black wing quickly moved into her way from her right. The wings height brought Trixie's world into a complete blackness, obscuring the city in front of her with its mammoth proportions. Slowly following the contours of the wing helped her confirm that said wing was indeed attached to what Trixie had assumed to be a statue easily twice the size of any gryphon Trixie had ever seen or heard about. The statue now turned gryphon moved his head to look down at her, his well kept leather armor giving off a creaking sound. Trixie could literally feel her pupils contracting as she stared up at the behemoth. She gave the guard on her left a brief, desperate glance, noticing a look of surprise, and almost shock on his face as well.
H-He's huge! What poor gryphon sired this monster!? I-is there some sort of codeword Trixie was supposed to say? Wait, what if they know Trixie crossed the border illegally! Equestria can't find out about this! What if it's a offense punishable by public humiliation! Trixie can't go through that again!
"Greetings, most honored prey."
No! Its bad enough that..wait...what?
The black gryphon gave her a small bow, before moving his wing back out of her way.
"It has been some time since one of yours came to the capital. My father spoke of the last one with much....admiration."
"Oh...ummm...-" For once, she didn't have to quell her desire to boast. Words were hard enough as it was. "W-well...T-Trixie hopes to n-not disappoint you...?"
He nodded, his giant orbs sliding past her to look towards the city. "I do not expect that you will. The hour grows late, and I am sure you have much to prepare still. Good luck, may the hunt be a glorious one for you."
"R-right...I-Tri-I...hope it to b-be the same for you."
Apparently that was the right thing to say, as he gave her a large grin with his massive eat-a-pony-whole beak. Giving her one more nod, he then turned back towards the road, becoming still as a statue again.
Trixie slowly crept through the gates, hoping that she had left all the weird encounters for the night outside of the city.
Zara shook her head as she watched the unicorn walk through the gates and into Gryphus. She saw the exchange, almost smirking at Trixie's reactions to the large guard. Once Trixie had left, the gleam of an excited predator entered their eyes. The same gleam Zara knew almost every gryphon in the city would have when Trixie walked past them.
"You're life won't end well, Racist fool. you never learned the city's rule."
So far, so good. At least it's pretty to look at at night.
Trixie was mildly surprised by a few things when she first walked into Gryphus. While she could see the lights from many an aerie on the sides of the mountain, buildings easily filled up the ground as well, the ones she was near being around six stories high. It was like walking into a city that, once it had run out of room on the ground, had just decided to build vertically instead. All of the buildings Trixie walked past were made of stone, probably cut from this very mountain, and decorated with fairly drab colors. Looking around the streets, she was probably the least drab thing in the area. Even the gryphons were drab looking, wearing leathers at best, and nothing being the norm.
Well, Trixie always did like to stand out. She thought, giving her magician's hat a pat. Still, the lingering stares she was getting were becoming unnerving. As she walked, several conversations had stopped, and a brief glance here and there let her determine that she was indeed the reason for it.
Despite the drab design, and minimalistic appearance of most of the buildings, the city seemed to at least keep fairly well lighted at night. From various street lamps along the road, Trixie could catch the view of dozens and dozens of flying forms in the sky. Unless one came unusually low, it was like watching fleeting, black shadows moving along the sky. Eerie, but also awing.
Perhaps Trixie should find a way to visit Cloudsdale sometime.
She also began to notice a few fleeting shadows in particular. Ones that seemed to be flying from building to building as she continued to walk, seemingly following her. She tried to look casual, but with shadows above her, and the need to look in front of her, it became rather impossible to keep an eye on everything she wanted to.
She entered a section of the city that luckily had shorter buildings, only two to three stories now. This elevation change forced the specters following her to reveal a little more about themselves. As far as Trixie could tell, her pursuers were a dozen or so gryphons of different drab colorations. Currently, they were camped out on the building she was just about to pass. From what she could tell, they were continuously switching from glaring at one another, to eying her over. Trixie didn't think they knew she was watching them as well, but it was hard for her to tell from how high up they were.
Catching sight of what looked to be an inn, Trixie cautiously made her way over to it, keeping an eye on the flock above her. Once she entered the doors of the fairly loud and packed inn, she let herself breath a sigh of relief.
That was just a bit too creepy. There's no way Trixie's...less than stellar reputation managed to reach all the way out here, right?
She started to weave between the tables and stools occupied by gryphons, reminding herself to apologize if her movement accidentally jostled a chair or table. Trixie slowly made her way to the bar, hoping a room would still be available. She didn't want to think about having to go back out and see that flock waiting for her.
At least they didn't follow her in. It would have ... Did Trixie just go deaf?
Indeed, where she was sure seconds ago loud conversations and clanks of beer mugs hitting eachother had been, was now silence. Shakily, she took her eyes off of the bar, and the gryphon behind it, and peered around. A few gryphons were still drinking, and some were whispering to eachother, but all eyes were glued to her. Gulping, Trixie creeped towards the bar, not sure what was going on. She knew the stares weren't kind, but hadn't interacted with gryphons enough to really understand what their expressions meant.
Luckily there were only a few tables left now and no one stopped her, letting her reach who she hoped to be the innkeeper without incident. The gryphon in front of her was a touch shorter then most of the other gryphons Trixie had see so far, but was no less intimidating. Two large, golden eyes briefly looked over Trixie, while a brown feathered paw came up to scratch at the gryphon's chin. Slowly, the gryphon's yellow beak came down to Trixie's level, and the gryphon spoke in a very rich accent.
"Vell, How ... intereztink for ah pony to fisit my bar. Vat can I do for you, miss...?"
... Just where is this gryphon from? Trixie didn't hear any of the others speaking in such a weird way.
"T-Trixie is looking for a place to stay the night. Do you have any rooms?"
"Hmmm ..." The barkeep looked Trixie over again, as well as making a long, slow gaze out over her now quiet customers. "Vell ... I suppose zere is a room open you kould have. Let us say ... zirty koins a night. I vill even srow in two meals, pretty sure ve have some plants around here, somewhere."
"Th-thirty bits a night!? Are you insane! Ten is more than fair." Trixie could rent out a home for the night with that much, with a full fridge included! let alone a little room at an inn that might have some plants! Trixie glared up a the innkeeper, hoping this was only a bit of common haggling.
"Tch ... Let me make zis clear zen ..." The gryphon brought her beak close to Trixie's ear, making her incredibly nervous at just how much bigger the gryphon was than her. "Zis is hardly a negotiation, little blue. If you shtay here, zen generous Gretta vill guarantee you surfife at least your first night in Gryphus. But, if you valk out on zis kind offer, she vill not be able to help you ven half her kustomers follow you out."
Despite trying her best, Trixie couldn't stop her heart from beating faster, or her breath from quickening at Gretta's words. "A-and why would they follow Trixie out? W-what does she have that is causing everyp- every gryphon to act this way?"
Trixie was pretty sure Gretta eyed her like she was an idiot before she continued to whisper. "You really do not know? Ze minute you shtepped into Gryphus you bekame a marked mare. A meal to any gryphon interested in huntink. None of your kind hafe been here for years, maybe dekades. You are quite the rare treat, my friend."
Trixie did her best not to wet the floor.
"So ... " Generous Gretta continued " Zirty koins each night zen? I'm even villing to take zose pony koins I am sure you hafe, you vill find few others villing to."
All Trixie could do was slowly nod.
"Goot, I am pleased to have a kustomer of such ... fame at my inn. Please follow me to your room, for your safety, I vould shtay klose. " Gretta walked out behind the bar and headed towards a large staircase. Trixie scrambled after her like a foal following her mother.
"She wasn't serious, was she?" Trixie asked out loud as she paced her inn room.
The room was surprisingly nice to Trixie. It was sized for a gryphon after all, making everything in it seem a bit extravagant for a smaller equine. She could barely touch the sides of the comfortable bed if she laid in the middle of it.
No, she had to be joking, or playing on Trixie's fears. A city this size couldn't really be okay with eating Trixie just because she's a pony, right? Right.
Eying the door, Trixie wondered if she should use the lock. She'd never had to lock a door in her life. Most Equestrians hadn't. At least, not out of fear. And Gretta had to be messing with her, frightening her into paying an exorbitant price in exchange for the promise of protection Trixie didn't even need.. Why should she let Gretta's lies frighten her into locking her door?
Nodding to herself, Trixie decided to get some rest. It had been a tiring day, and an exhausting time inside of Gryphus so far. She was grudgingly glad Gretta had at least went down to twenty five bits a night when they were away from the crowd. It was still ridiculous though, and once Trixie was rested, she would demand a better price.
But, in a nice way. Trixie needs to be nicer now, even if Gretta doesn't deserve it. That's generosity, isn't it? Or was it kindness? Bah.
She was too tired to worry which element it was, and drifted off to sleep.
You cannot be serious...
Grumbling, Trixie got out of bed, awoken by the noise of someone trying to roughly open the door.
Did they knock and Trixie didn't wake up for it?
Tiredly, Trixie made her way over to the door, watching the door handle as it continued to be pulled back and forth as whoever was outside tried to open it.
Weird ... Trixie is sure she didn't lock it.
Just as she reached a hoof out to find out what was going on, Trixie heard Gretta's thick voice from outside the door.
"Now vat do I see here? Someone interruptink one of my kustomer's sleep, yes?"
A low, male voice replied, causing Trixie to jump a little at how close it was.
"Now now Gretta. Let's be reasonable here. I'm more then willing to pay you twice what the pony did. I'll even share one of her legs with you."
Those words stopped Trixie cold. Whoever was behind the door had just talked about...ending Trixie so casually. As if he had simply been caught taking a cookie he shouldn't have, and was offering to share it if his sister didn't squeal on him.
"No, I do not sink so. Really now, is zis ze huntink shtory you vish to tell se others? How you mightily killed a pony in its sleep? Do you really sink zere is honor to be had in killing defenseless prey?"
" Well ... no, but come on. The meat is said to be like nothing you've ever had before, and I don't need to tell you what they say about the horn."
Quietly, Trixie backed away from the door, looking for an escape. She'd learned to be good at running in the last few years of her life at least.
"And it vill be all se more sweeter if you akt like a real hunter. It vill look far better if others are vatchink to konfirm how diffikult se hunt was. It is almost a disgrace to your family's honor just for you to be fount like zis. Perhaps some of your friends downstairs vould like to know how you mightily fought a locked door for a midnight snack?"
"Okay, okay, I get it. You're right. Don't tell anyone about this, okay? I'm ... a little drunk. Yeah, that's all. I'll try in the morning."
Trixie heard the steps of the other gryphon recede and breathed a sigh of relief. All was quiet in the hall again, though Trixie couldn't hear little past the sound of her own heartbeat for the moment.
That ... really just happened ... didn't it?
"Trixie?"
She gave out a yelp at Gretta's voice, and quickly brought both hooves to her mouth to prevent any other noises.
"Zere is a lock on se door, as vell as a bar to slide akross it. Zere is also locks on se vindows. Use them."
Trixie heard Gretta walk away from the door after that. A few minutes later, Trixie made her way to the door, and then the windows, locking them tightly. Then she closed the curtains on the windows. A few minutes later, Trixie found herself putting as much furniture as the room had in front of the door. Panting a little from the exertion, not to mention the amount of adrenaline running through her now, Trixie then laid back down on the bed. but she kept the lights on while she stared up at the ceiling.
Sleep was impossible now though, forcing Trixie to spend the rest of the night eying the door and windows.
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Hm. Look interesting and I'll definitely read. but just to tell you:
You mean 'than'.
5544261 me and that word have been at war for a long time, my friend. Seems like it is still winning.
5544777
Then maybe you should consider calling for backup because I know you're better than that.
Example sentence and reminder. Then is a reference to time and usually at the beginning of a sentence. Than is used for comparison and thus in the middle of a sentence. (Rough rule to go by but as with anything in English there are probably many exceptions).
5544866, I'm pretty sure 5544777 knows both what 'then and than' are and how they're used. He just made an honest to goodness mistake.
Speaking of mistakes, I only caught two. In the chapter.
'Far away' or 'far' minus the 'a'
and
'it' needs a capital 'I'.
You might want to tone down the accent of that griffon just a bit. 'Z's' and a dash of 'sh's' are all that's really necessary for giving off a german accent. Changing up the spelling just makes things a bit more harder for the reader.
Otherwise, 5544777, this story looks like it will be spectacularly awesome. I wonder what 'the rule' is that that poor zebra was going on about and how Trixie will get out of this mess alive.
Okay, I was already informed about your idea of the Gryphon story. So far so good, can't wait to read the next chapter. Your small build up to the Gryphus dark secret was done good. I wonder which approach your going to take. Is the end that Trixie will level down the city. (We know she has since her accession the power to do so.) Or will she simple flee with some fellow unfortunate prey? Or perhaps you have something else in mind like Spartacus that Trixie ends in an arena duelling constantly for her life against Gryphon warriors that want to eat her but always end up being defeated by her in a humiliating and flamboyant way.
Or maybe something else all together. Heh only time will tell.
5545077
Trixie tried to be smart and rhyme Zara and come up with fara. Trixie is under appreciated.
5545139
I don't think this is set in "Hopes and Follies" universe. Well at least not after HaP.
Interesting start, but every single time you use a plural word, you have an apostrophe, and every time you need to show possession, you don't use an apostrophe. It's one of the strangest grammatical errors I've ever seen.
5545077
Aww, I was having so much fun with that. I was even following a guide on how to write with a German accent.
If it is too hard to understand then I will look into using less of the rules. I was worried it wouldn't look right if I skimped out on any of them.
Heh, I tried making her unintentionally racist to the Zebra. Ignorance seems pretty easy for Trixie to have. But hey, at least she isn't running away, and screaming about an 'evil Enchantress' like some other town I know.
5545149
5545139
This is indeed not in the Hopes and Follies Universe. I need to make a blog to explain more soon.
5545333 At least I'm consistent?
I have become much better at my punctuation, but apostrophe's are also not something I am good at. the Then and Than thing I simply need to go through and check, and remember what is used for where, but apostrophe rules and me are not working well together just yet.
Suppose I'd better check through this again and see if I notice where the issues are now, and get a guide on apostrophes...
5545149
My bad it seems your right that and it seems the author confirmed this that in a different universe.
I know that originally to my knowledge the author wanted this to take place after hopes and follies. Too be honest I'm glad he chanced it, this will make the story far more interesting with a Unicorn Trixie.
Sadly this isn't a prequel to Hopes and Follies it would really be nice if this story was a bit more background for Trixie that shows us how bad her life had been before she decided to go for the road of alicornhood.
5545333 Okay, just did alot of editing on apostrophes. Hopefully I fixed most of the mistakes. Thanks for pointing it out.
Missed quotation marks.
5546973 Fixed.
It occurs to me that Trixie seems convinced that boars and minotaurs don't eat the same things as she does. I wonder what she thinks they eat? The funny thing is, I can't be sure if this the way things are or if it isn't just another case of her amazingly ignorant racism at work.
She really should brainstorm with the Flimflam brothers on this.
Oh horse apples. This is what you get for taking such good care of your appearance, Trixie. Lecherous looks from folks who want a piece of that sexy flank.
I am not sure why, but I really enjoy that deaf line. It speaks pretty well to the imagination how all the sound just suddenly vanishes half way through her thinking process.
There's being rebellious, and there's being careless. Though to be fair, I guess this would be so far out of Trixie's sphere of experience that she can't imagine she is actually in danger of being eaten by the townsfolk.
That one's Loyalty.
Poor Trixie. She just cannot stay out of trouble. Maybe her more harmonious approach will work out for her though. We'll find out.
Notes:
There's a wayward space at the start of the dialogue.
5549103
Well in Trixie's defense, boars (IRL) are omnivores, whose diversity in food is familiar to that of humans, sort of. (It includes rhizomes, roots, tubers and bulbs ,nuts, berries, seeds, leaves, bark, twigs, shoots, garbage, earthworms, insects, mollusks, fish, rodents, insectivores, bird eggs, lizards, snakes, frogs, and carrion.) Not many of these things are edible (or at least desirable for that matter) by ponies.
Majority of theirs portrayals paints minotaurs as omnivores as well.
5549494
Interesting. Trixie might well be on to something then, and not be racist.
Well, on the bright side, at least Trixie's found a - more-or-less - safe place to sleep. So far, so good. And she knows the danger... that's better.
Now she's just got to figure out how to either survive, or how to leave the city alive.
Well I suppose as a unicorn she's probably the best equipped to defend herself of all the pony types. But I think she's going to have to realize very quickly that her magic needs to be used in a combat form if she's going to survive here.
You are a zebra, after all. But Trixie just never had any luck telling Zebras apart. She always thought it was a shame you don't have all the colors of fur ponies do. It would be easier to tell you apart, and probably really help bring color to your lands." Zara was giving Trixie a strange look. She must be pondering on what Trixie said. It was pretty insightful. Perhaps bringing up dying her coat to be unique among her kind would be a good idea.
Wow, so casual murder is a thing apparently? Sorry, unbelievable stories are not entertaining stories
Poor Trixie. Her OLD attitude would suit her better amongst the Griffons. If she wanted to practice being nice, she should have gone to the Crystal Empire or tried to find a Changeling hive.
Poor Trixie. Even when she tries to be a better pony, she throws out what is apparently a racial slur and doesn't even realise it. It'll be interesting to see what she does in the morning, like immediately try to escape Gryphus, or basically revert to her old self as a defense mechanism.
I do notice Gretta made the comment that it was only when she set foot in Gryphus that Trixie apparently became fair game, so one wonders if getting outside of Gryphus renders her safe again or not.
Also, this chapter is hilarious in hindsight given Lost Treasure of Griffonstone has a Griffon named Greta in it.