• Member Since 20th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

PonyJosiah13


Just an adventure/mystery fanfiction-writing brony from the state of Vermont who hopes that you enjoy his work.

Sequels1

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This story is a sequel to The Blue Moon Brings Death


Being a candymare is a safe, easy lifestyle...usually.

But when Bon Bon starts getting threatening letters from a stalker, her wife, Lyra Heartstrings, contacts Phillip Finder to try to identify the stalker. Aided by Flash Sentry, Phillip comes to suspect that Bon Bon's letters may be connected to a series of high-risk burglaries in Ponyville recently.

Constructive criticism appreciated.

If you're just going to downvote the story because you don't like it without giving criticism, then don't bother.

The Phillip Finder series
The Pony in the Gray Trilby
The Everfree Forest Affair
Time Flies
The Blue Moon Brings Death
Letters to a Candymare
The Face in the Darkness
Checkmate
Secret of the Mare Lisa
The Sun Falls
Clockwork
Behind Locked Doors
Siege of Clovenworth
The Silent Fugitive
Curse of the Taverneigh Blue
Mystery on the Mareish Moors
The Grilled Cheese and the Muletese Falcon
Trifle Not With Monsters
The Fillydelphia Solution
The Sydneigh Ritual
Endgame

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 26 )
Comment posted by Commissar Derpy Hooves deleted Dec 16th, 2014

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5446656

Thank you both. It is good to hear that some people are enjoying my stories.

Yeah, I was never big on the whole "Lyra obsesses over humans" trope either.

5524486 I did feel the need to give the fandom a nod of respect. It's just a weird, funny little Lyra quirk.

Huh, going with the "Irish Lyra" head cannon?

If the writer of that letter used the word "queer" instead of "gay" or "lesbian" wouldn't that suggest some form of foreign dialect?

For future reference, black clothes aren't very good for sneaking around at night, they leave too much of an obvious silhouette if someone looks at you from the right angle. A better color choice would be a dark navy blue since it more closely resembles the color of the night sky while allowing you to blend in with shadows. (This is even better if the perp is a pegasus.)

7304865 I actually do know that (I learned it from studying ninja, believe it or not), but I thought black clothes were enough of a cliche that most readers would just overlook it.

7304800 Not necessarily. Queer didn't really strike me as a "foreign" word (I've heard it used here in America), so I just used it.

Wow, Magic School Bus was my favorite show when I was little!

...Not that I don't still love it, I mean; I've just found other comparable shows.

Eh... can't think of anything to say about this one. Except that I really loved the scene where Lockpick broke into the store; it might be one of my favorite scenes you've written.

Why is every not-Philip OC you create a villain? You're good at making characters and I really wanted Dreamcaster to turn out to be okay. Even after I realized he was the burglar, I was hoping (somewhat immaturely) that he'd turn out to be like Catwoman- a thief, but not a villain. Sort of.

But then, he's an abusive husband, and self-deluding to boot. I believe anyone can find redemption, but it doesn't seem likely anymore...

I know this is irrelevant at this point but, I've noticed that urban camouflage actually works the best in low light conditions. I've used it many times when in Moonlight Airsoft Games. Even when they shine flashlights on me they can't see me if I don't move. My night vision goggles also use red instead of green, I can see better than the white lights. On the and of my opponents weapons. It's always 1v22 when we have those games. I've won seven out of ten times.

7925514 That's great. Sounds like a lot of fun.

Alright, you may have said this was the story you were least proud of... But now time to see if it's really worth that moniker...

Okay, that lock picking scene... Very intriguing. I'm still pondering in my head on how it was done, then again, I guess that's sorta the point.

Okay, so we know our man, but what's he got to gain from all of this? Fear, money?

Damn, so it was Dreamcaster? Wow, wasn't expecting that. And go Bon-Bon. One's gotta be tough to marry an Irish mare, and it shows here. One thing, sour milk? That doesn't really make any sense. I would have thought just going with the old "Hard as steel" would work.

Congrats, Flash. You earned it for figuring out the culprit even when the great Philip Finder, the pony version of Sherlock freaking Holmes was stumped.

Oh boy... Don't even have to guess what who's narrating here. On a side note, I don't actually think this is your worst story. It's actually better then you gave yourself credit for.

8033047 The thought is appreciated! Thanks.

A chess master?
Huh, this was expected.
But he is a master only in chess and on this board. For there are other masters out there. And some are looking for more conqu-
SHUT UP INNER BRITISH GUY

So, I think it is time to get back to this series and try to finish it :pinkiesmile: As for the story itself, it was not bad, but I would say it suffers from being too easy to see through. It does not require much from the reader to guess the true identity of the burglar before the detectives do—actually, I was hoping you were going for some sort of plot twist revelation there. Furthermore escapes through a bathroom window, magic used to pick locks and so on are so widely used in literature (MLP fanfics respectively) that it was no surprise either.

The only mystery I cannot comprehend there is why was Lockpick considered a good pawn by the Chessmaster...

9375032
Yeah, I was not proud of this story right from the start: there were just so many elements that I knew I could've done so much better on. Having moved on from this series to Ponyville Noire. I can honestly say that while this series did make a good start for me, it's something I've set aside for a long time now.

I appreciate that you're reading the stories now, and want to enjoy them. Please feel free to keep reading!

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