The War for the Sun & Moon

by Maxes Altho

Seven

The debriefing went off without a hitch. I met with the Colonel, who had nothing but praise for my actions. I tried to tell her that it wasn’t all me, C came up with the plan to get us in, but she would have none of it.

However, what C said kept niggling me in the back of my mind. I couldn’t remember anything past entering the warehouse last night. I tried to broach the subject by asking her what Bomb Squad was, and that’s when the strangeness happened. She froze. No, not like ‘lost in thought’ or ‘trying to figure out what to say’ kind of stop; she completely stopped moving, for about five seconds. Then, like the flip of a switch, she was all smiles.

“Soldier, I shouldn’t have to tell you that we need to keep our assets a secret from the enemy. When you returned, I had a specialist wipe your memories of the operation. All you need to know is Bomb Squad is safe and sound. You are dismissed.”

With nothing else to do, I salute, and make my way back to my room. C’s finally woken up a bit, and starts grilling me.

“What did the Colonel say?”

“Oh, you know, praise for a successful mission, how if it wasn’t for me, we wouldn’t have made it out…”

“In your own words, bullshit.”

“And something about them wiping our memories of the mission to keep Bomb Squad a secret.”

C lets that sink in. “…What?”

I shrug. “In a strange way, it makes sense dude. If a soldier was captured, mind-wiping would at least rule out any conventional means of interrogation.”

“Then why do I remember leaving the base, going to the warehouse, and taking out all of the guards? Shining, something is not adding up.”

“Yeah, whatever, C. I’m gonna go take a walk.” I leave him and his crypticness behind. He picks at anything outside the norm like a scab.

I don’t know where I’m going, but anywhere I go can give C some space.

----------

Okay, now I’m getting a little weirded out. It’s not something that I picked up on immediately, but something strange is happening. Any time I enter a room, all ponies in that room turn and stare at me. Now, that’s usually not strange, but they keep watching me just a little too long, way past the point of politeness.

There’s also the guards. It’s almost like they don’t want me to go anywhere. I wanted to go see Battle, thank him for the new weapons, but two guards were at the door to the Armory, and something compelled me to stay away. There’s also a lot more of them than usual.

I meet with Chryssid for lunch. He’s looking nervous, which means something is very wrong. C prides himself on stoicness, on not showing his emotions.

“Shining, Scout keeps following me. He is saying he wants to be friends with me.”

I laugh; more paranoia. “C, he’s part of our team. Of course he wants to be a friend.”

“No, Shining, you do not understand. He will not stop chasing me. Whenever I speak to him about it, he passes it off as ‘trying to get to know me’. This is not the same Scout as before. I implore you, Shining, something is very wrong.”

“What, you mean like this is a dream? Sure feels real to me.”

“If that is so, this is more of a nightmare.”

“Okay, man, first, chill. Second, if you think this is a dream, I’ll prove it’s not.” I spy Heart Pulse across the room, and wave her over.

“Hey boys, what’s up?”

Do I really want to ask this? Worst case, I end up getting slapped across the room. I can live with that. “Hey Pulse, you wanna be my marefriend?”

“Okay, sure!”

“See, C? ‘Over my dea—’what?”

“I said yes, you silly colt!” She blushes at me. I shoot a glance at C; we both take off running.

----------

“Holy shit, C, you’re right. This isn’t normal.” We’re running through the base, avoiding anypony we can.

“I do not want to say ‘I told you so’, but for some reason, that does not seem sufficient anymore.”

We make it back to our room, and bolt the door.

“Okay, C. What is this?”

“I do not know.”

“I mean, neither of us can remember anything past entering that warehouse, right?”

“Correct.”

“Then, what is this?”

“It means your mind’s being jacked, fool!”

I look at Chryssid. He looks back. Neither of us said that, and I’m sure as Tartarus neither of us sound like a school-age filly. Suddenly, an explosion rocks the room, decimating the front wall. As the dust clears, we are met with, yes, a filly. An Earth pony filly with flat hair the colors of an explosion, a peach-colored coat, and an explosive bloom on her flank. She looks at us, a wild smile on her muzzle

“’Sup? I’m Tiny. Heard you guys’re lookin’ for me. I’d love ta stay and chat, but right now, we gots some baddies that need to be introduced to my lady’s badonkadonks.”

“Uh…”

“Oh yeah! Peeps, meet my ladies.” She pulls out two small pistols with hoofstraps from seemingly nowhere. “This one’s Missy Higgles, and this one’s Snuggleuffagus.” She sees us still standing there, our mouths collecting flies. “What? I got something in my teeth?” She begins picking at her mouth with one of the guns.

Chryssid, somehow, recovers. “What are you doing here? Where, in fact, is here?”

“Oh, Queenie Fussy-Britches got here first and set some kind of trap. As soon as you two lame-o’s came in, her peeps hit you two with some kinda spell. You currently trapped in your own minds while they’s breaking into them.”

“Then how are you here? How do we know we can trust you?”

“Oh, I’m holding one of the baddies at ‘nade-point and had him put me in here. He tries anything, he goes boom. Hmm, trust me, how do you… Purple Pumpkin Lollipop.”

That shocks me into action. “What?”

“You know, Purple Pumpkin Lollipop. The super-secret code that the pony guarding me was supposed to answer to? She’s gone now, had me hide while she dealt with some things. The good news, they’ve barely started on you, so they don’t know anything. However, if you don’t move your lame asses right the buck now, your buddies are gonna be in a world of hurt.”

She turns and gallops away. We pursue.

“And how are we supposed to get out of here?”

“I dunno. How would you usually get out of this place?”

C and I share another glance. “The main entrance? It can’t be that easy.”

“Uh, it ain’t gonna be so easy.” We skid to a stop and behold every pony of the Warriors filling the tunnel ahead, almost all of them brandishing weapons. “Woo hoo! This is what I love about dreams! Light ‘em up!” She pulls out her pistols, and almost comically, they change into giant, fifteen-barreled rocket launchers. She fires, and all the ponies in the first ten rows are blown back.

“What are you doing? Those are our friends!”

“They sure as buck ain’t! These things are just keepin’ yo dumb mind busy while they break in! Look!” Tiny points, and I see Pulse walking out of the piles of ponies. At least, half of Pulse. The other half is an off-white coat, pink and purple swirly mane, and a piercing forest green eye. When she speaks, I can’t help but listen.

“Come now, just submit. Wouldn’t that be easier than running around like an idiot? Just lay down and nothing will ever trouble you aga—”

She is cut off as C jams his hoof halfway through her muzzle. She shrieks, then dissipates into a cloud of ash. I shake off the influence, and stand by the others. The not-ponies have rallied, and are advancing on us.

“What now? There’s too many of them!”

“Well, Mr. Buggy just took out their leader, so you’re in control now, big boy! Get creative!”

Creative, huh? I focus, and three quarray eels burst through the tunnel walls, gobbling up half of the not-ponies. And hey, since this is my mind after all, I turn my horn into a flamethrower and roast the other half. We book it up the path to the main gate.

----------

We come to in the middle of the warehouse floor, surrounded by panicking unicorns.

The one from the dreamscape is the only one holding still, trying to regain control of the others. Oh Celestia fuck me with the might of a thousand suns. The one leading this is Sweetie Belle?

Yeah, when Queen Rarity took Manehattan, she also took her little sister. Being the Element of Generosity, she was more than happy to give her sister ungodly powers, and put her in charge of her elites, the Investigators. Suddenly, everything falls into place. The Investigators are a group of unicorns skilled in mind manipulation. Even better, they would interrogate by breaking into their victims minds and scooping out all the useful information.

I also see a small, peach-furred filly running around, pulling explosives out of bucking nowhere and lobbing them everywhere; impressive, for an Earth pony. One lands in front of Sweetie Belle, and she looks down in time to cast a shield and bounce backwards a few feet, away from the blast. Unfortunately, this places her just outside the door. I hear a ka-thwack! as a pair of hooves, probably Tread’s, connect and send her sideways out of view.

Chryssid helps me to my hooves, and the three of us escape. With a nod to Tread and Pulse, we book it across the street to where Dig and Scout are waiting. Tiny stops us before Dig can contact his brother and make the tunnel. She fishes through her mane, and pulls out a small box with a large red button.

“Now for my favorite part,” she starts singing:

“All around the Poison Joke,

The Ursa chased the po-ny.

The Ursa thought ‘twas all in fun,

POP!”

Tiny hoofs the button, and the entire warehouse explodes in a shower of metal and fiery bits.

“Goes the po-ny!”

She turns to us, and giggles when she sees all of us gawking at the explosion. “Hey, it’s what I do. Now, can we go home? I wanna see my new home!”

I look at her, and smile. “Sure, Tiny, let’s go home. Welcome to the Warriors.”

Comments

[DiscordFan]

As great and wonderful as that was, what just happened..?

[Maxes Altho]

5561613 they got mind jacked by Sweetie Belle, and Tiny Tina is in full-blown cosplay mode.

[DiscordFan]

5562269

...

Okay..?

[Midna Diane Pie]

Mikayla would love Tiny Teena. That is all I have to say.

[crimson velvet]

OH GOD YES TINY TINA MY FAV CHARACTER ON BL2
YES THIS IS BEST DAY