This story is a sequel to We Were...
WARNING: Contains use of words against same sex relationships. This story does not reflect the views of the author!
Big Mac always fit the stereotype that country folk were hard workers and dedicated to their jobs, everybody knew this as fact and would refuse otherwise when it came to the young man. What they didn't know, though, was that he fit a few other stereotypes as well. After a rather violent confrontation with his sister about her newly revealed sexual preferences, he decides he has to leave the Apple home and get away from all the disease he felt was wrought upon the farm.
Chapters (1)
It could be better if it wasn't obvious "tell your own life story but with ponies" kind of fic.
Alright. The core message is nice, but I disliked for a few key reasons. Number one, and the most glaring of the issues is Macintosh himself. I'm sorry, but his character is just too unbelievable and unrelatable. You say he has a problem with Homosexuality, but you never go into detail about how it was ingrained in his mindset. Especially when you say he didn't learn it at home. Also, you depict him as far too crass, violent, and short tempered to boot. Macintosh has always been the calmer of the siblings as well as understanding, and I certainly don't see him as one to outright strike a woman who didn't assault him first. I can understand making him the subject of being at fault so the story can progress, but you depict him as nothing more than a rabid animal. The way he snaps and becomes violent towards those that are gay make him seem like he is quite literally insane. Next are Cheerilee and Shining Armor. I can let Shining armor slide for the way he acted because that's how guys are, but Cheerilee snapping the way she did is completely unlike that of a real friend. No means of reasoning with him, no kindness. Just the most boiled down typically stereotypical response to drive the point home. Racism and Bigotry are not so black and white, it is learned, it is programmed from those you look up to or from a personal problem from the past. Your moral is Nobel, but without focus and intimate understanding of the problem at hand from the one who is wrong, can make the story as a whole fail. Work on those elements and your story can be truly exceptional. And believe me when I say, that will not be easy. Conveying the emotion, thoughts, and experiences one has down on paper is incredibly hard. It's one reason why I refuse to write. But if you can make that happen, your story will be a great success.
5388043 Wow, that was the most in depth review I have ever gotten. Thank you, it means a lot that you took the time out to type this and try to help me better my work.
5387731 Thanks for the review, but it's not a "tell my own life story with ponies" it's 100% made up and was made to show what was happening outside the main storyline of my other story.