This is a story about me, or rather, the story about when I went to Equestria, and went on the most epic adventure of my life. Naturally, it started like any other day, for me at least. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Allen, I’m 18 years old, a die-hard metal fan, and I live in New York, and I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie. From concerts to skydiving, if it gives me a rush, Ill do it. And my seeking for this, “high”, some may call it, brought me to meeting my most favorite fictional characters of all time.
I'll add characters and tags as it goes along, I'm planning to make this a long, 3 part story, each part have multiple chapters, this, being part one. Please enjoy, rate, and comment.
(My first story, be gentle)
Chapters (11)
It seems to be a good story so far. No spelling errors as far as I see. But ther is one mistake you keep making. At the end of a statement or command your suppose to either a period if thats where the sentence ends, or a comma if the same person is going to follow up with another sentence. Other than that its pretty good.
520081
Thank you for the input, Ill fix that asap. I'm glad you enjoyed it
It's a First Aid Kit, not a Med Kit.
Problem: You made a random jump into third person perspective. Never, EVER do that. Keep it consistent.
Unlike what ponyfiction said, there are spelling errors. Two, to be exact. It's Southern Belle, not Bell. Also, a Southern Belle is a beautiful woman from the Southern United States, it's not a type of accent. AJ has more of a Texan accent.
Also, it should be "None other than Ponyville" or "Nun other than Ponyville", depending on which you'd prefer she say. She can't be randomly speaking French by saying "Non other than Ponyville" (
)
521022
med stand for medical, so they can both be used
521062 Where did I make then change, I gotta fix that, thanks for the critiquing though, its appreciated.
521304
Yeah, sure. I'm a Boy scout. That's why I say First Aid Kit.
521410
Ah, I was a scout once, it was fun, now where was that perspective change, so i may correct it
I like this story, and hope to see it through!
capishe?
526882
, I'm glad you enjoy it 
No worries, it may take time, but I promise you that it shall be completed
Random perspective change is in Chapter 2, third paragraph.
531930
Thats because im moving from my point of view to another one, and i cant be fluttershy first person.
532138
You need to clarify it in some way. Figure out a way to seperate the paragraphs more efficiently, such as a line of asterisks.
532154
Alright, that I can do, thank you for the criticism.
532162
Just tryin' to help
532169
It is much appreciated
532178
Haven't had the chance to read it yet, but I will like and fave anyway because you deserve it.
538076
please let me know what you think when you read it, all feedback is welcome.
Thanks so much
I' m liking the concept and direction of this fic.
I'll be patiently waiting for updates...
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/like-a-sir.jpg
588165
Thank you so much, I appreciate it, with my current pace, Ill be delivering one chapter every weekend, but when summer is in full swing, it will be more frequent.
657791
Why thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it, stay tuned, theres more to come
657816... I just deleted my first comment because I am on the page of all of the chapters... And it turns out that I really did have first... That sucks...
This seemed like a filler chapter, just sort of to keep us occupied.
658840
Sorry about that, I'm just rolling with the story as it pops up in my head, Ill try to make the next one more eventful though, hang in there.
657828
Its ok, no worries
Good chapter!
I agree that it was a little filler-ish but still a good chapter nonetheless. Wish I could go to a party like that though.
Ironically the biggest party I've ever been to was a rave at a big methodist church,
it was still pretty impressive though, there was food, drinks, and of course dubstep so powerful I could feel the air in my lungs vibrating from the bass.
659368
Once again, Ill try to make next chapter more eventful, we'll just see what my mind comes up with. And that sounds like a pretty awesome party you went to.
Thanks
659216
ok PARTY!
659559
lets go