• Member Since 8th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen March 3rd

Ponyess


I just recently started to write stories directly towards the FiM actively, though I have been writing for years, publishing numerous stories at Mibba and the eventual pony story, as far as to the MLP

Comments ( 11 )

>In the boobies group
>Not a single line in the story pertaining to titties

this is why I hate that group, it's just a bunch of godforsaken lies

5378990 They will be there in next chapter, which should be fully readable in a week, or six days.
She will have them played with and fondled, soon enough.

Not sure if you see the following chapters, but the next chapter is more than double the size of the first too.

Then again, I guess you just explained the problem the story is facing for the rest of the week, at the very least.

Question right now is just what I will have Pinkie pull the next friend through, if you don't mind me putting it this way?

Curiosity get 'piqued' not 'peeked', otherwise, MOAR!!!!

5403357 I will have to confirm and verify the implications for the specific passage.
If you are right(your suggestion makes more sense), I will make the required corrections.
From the position of your reaction, you make perfect sense, the way you made it come out.
Just takes a moment to find it in order to consider the changes.
On the other hoof, a few minutes are worth the effort, in pursuit of the better story.

Edit: Two counts on the first sub-scene of chapter two corrected.
Thanks for notifying me.

5946652 Thanks for reminding me of the story. I hope you enjoy where the next chapter is going off to now.

I waited for a while in order to get a solid section of the text in order before responding. Why make the point, before I could have enough to feel secure in getting a new chapter out within reasonable time from the response in the first place?

Edit: The chapter is finally up, for you and anyone else to read.

Is there any particular reason you consistently refer nipples as "nibbles," which is, in fact, a verb and so has no business on a pony's breasts unless they're into that sort of thing?

6435032 That started out as an intentional typo, inspired at least in part by Futurama. I guess that verb has its place as a suggestion. I sometimes use words in this manner.

As to what the pink mare, or any other Pony is into or likes here, is up to anyone's guess. They haven't exactly been forthconming on the topic of bedside manners and preferrences, as of yet. Not that they are particularly likely to change this any time soon.

When it comes to Pinkie Pie, she gives me the impression that she is into anything fun or exciting.

On that note, they have the part, even if it isn't obviously visible on a Pony.

>I had inflated, years before.
-Even the most high-quality latex balloons would slowly lose their air after some months, even faster for any filled with helium.
She's in 'Equestria' or 'Equestria Girls' universe ? Because magic 'has' to be involved there, to keep these balloons filled.

>It isn’t something I could deny you, unless I knew it would have unwanted or unpleasant consequences to either or both of us. For now, I have nothing that indicate towards it, so I will enjoy helping you!
-She speaks like a dictionary or a bored university student... -_- Doesn't feel natural at all.

EDIT:
The more I read, the more I get somewhat annoyed at HOW MUCH the writing is lengthy and not natural at all... It's like reading a formal speech written for an English class (but with some odd errors, like 'nibbles').

There IS a good idea under all this... but the writing makes reading it not a whole lot appealing, sadly.

6478886

Even the most high-quality latex balloons would slowly lose their air after some months,

I imagine any Pony could make such balloons in Equestria since they canonically do have latex trees in Ponyville.
Running off the leaves
I have never seen a balloons of Pinkie's to deflate by itself, but she can deflete them as she pleases, all acording to Pinkie Pride.
From the first move; Equestria Girls(EQG), Pinkie Pie apparently does have her own brand of balloons, with some odd magic to them.

She's in 'Equestria' or 'Equestria Girls' universe ? Because magic 'has' to be involved there, to keep these balloons filled.

An Alternative Equestria by the marked tag.
6478997

She speaks like a dictionary or a bored university student... -_- Doesn't feel natural at all.

Then I will have to see what I can do to tease a smile on her face.

It's like reading a formal speech written for an English class (but with some odd errors, like 'nibbles').

I think this in particular was actually intentional, if you look at the suggestion behind the alteration.

There IS a good idea under all this... but the writing makes reading it not a whole lot appealing, sadly.

If you could point me towards specifics and suggest alteration, and it would be much easier on me as I try to correct and improve the story.

Ps: Wow, this had been resting for half a year. I should be able to make something better by now.

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