Picking Apples
Night had fallen over ancient Equestria once more. All across the land ponies retreated to the safety of their homes. For when the moon rose in the sky and the stars twinkled, the monsters of the forests would leave the depths of the darkness and prey upon any pony that dare stay out too late.
This did not sit well with the ruler of the Night, Princess Luna, who wished for her subjects to embrace the night and take in all its beauty. Luna spoke of her concerns to her elder sister Celestia, Princess of the Sun, but she was tied up with the politics of Canterlot that demanded her attention. Leaving Luna no choice but to take matters into her own hooves. It was up to her to protect her subjects from the terrors of the night!
“Tis a good idea, now we shall keep our little ponies safe from that which lurks in the dark!” Luna spoke using the loud, booming, royal Canterlot voice, rattling the more friendly creatures of the night from their burrows. So far her patrol has taken her into the Everfree forest that surrounded the Castle of the Royal Sisters. Though maybe it should be called the castle of the Royal Sister. Luna thought sadly, since she had been the only one living in the castle for quite some time now. Minus a few servants of course.
Her sister Celestia had been spending more time in the unicorn city of Canterlot as of late. The nobles of the city demanding her input on many matters. The fact that she, the Princess of the Night, was never called was… a little disheartening. But she was warrior. Her ideals didn't fit with those of the city. Those matters were better left to Celestia, who was more skilled at dealing with such tasks.
“Still, they could send a letter.” Luna muttered as she trotted to the nearby village. So far no monsters had appeared, a good thing too, the village’s pitiful defenses would never hold back any sort of attack, mainly because there were no defenses. “Best to move on to the next town, OUCH!”
Luna rubbed her head, looking down at the object that had hit her. It was an apple, strangely enough. She was still getting her bearings when an orange blur flew at her!
“Ah got you now ya vermin!” A voice shouted from behind tackling the Princess to the ground. The two struggled for a bit, Luna gaining the advantage due to her size, strength, and experience.
“No tis I who have you, now explain post haste as to why you dare attack the Princess of the Night!” Luna demanded, her Canterlot voice shaking the nearby houses and waking the entire village.
Lights from the nearby house revealed her attacker to be an orange earth pony mare wearing a brown stetson with five apples branded on her flank. The mare scrambled to kneel before the Princess sputtering apologies, “Ah’m mighty sorry your highness, it’s just we’ve been havin’ a might bad time with monsters lately and Ah thought you might be one. I was just looking out for my kin. Please don’t be too mad and if ya are just punish me! It was my idea!”
“Calm thyself, young one, We were taken by surprise is all, no harm was done. Now rise and speak your name. I wish to know it.”
“Applejack of the Apple Clan, at your service, your highness.”
“Applejack? A strange name for a mare, but it seems to fit you.” Luna grinned and helped Applejack to her hooves after the mare refused to rise. “Now, what creatures have terrorized you? We are here to rid the monsters that plague the night.”
“You are? That’s… that’s… GREAT! Thank you, Princess Luna!” Applejack cried with joy with the other members of the Apple clan joining in.
“Please, just call me Luna, My sister and I are Equestria’s guardians first and it’s Princesses second,” Though I’m beginning to wonder if Celestia still thinks that. “Now on to the matter at hoof, where are these creatures and what are they?”
“They come from the forest over yonder, they're big and have one huge eye! What do ya call them Applecrisp?” Applejack asked a green tone mare.
“Cyclopes, cousin Applejack, they’re cyclopes.”
“Oh, right, cyclops! Those thugs have been taking our kin for weeks now. And there isn’t anything we could do to stop them.” Applejack explained teary eyed.
“Fear no more subjects! We shall rid you of this menace once and for all!” The town cheered! “We simply need a guide to take us to their lair.”
At that request the ponies stopped cheering and ran back into their houses, leaving only Luna and Applejack left.
“I suppose you will be my guide then Applejack?”
“You bet I will, I’ll even join ya in the action.”
“Very well, lead on Applejack.”
The two mares walked in silence through the night, the moon and stars lighting the path for them. They were deep in the more untamed parts of the Everfree forest now. These parts of the forest were out of reach of the tree of harmony located beneath the Castle of the Two Sisters. The woods themselves came alive through the power of chaos left behind by Discord and now it was that very same chaos seems to have attracted the attention of other more foul creatures.
(When was the last time I saw a cyclops in Equestria? Not since I was an adolescent I believe.) Luna kept a close eye on the surrounding forest, ever watchful for danger. Cyclopes were as big and stupid as they were sneaky. They could stand as still as a statue for hours, simply waiting for their prey to walk by them. There could be a cyclops near them right now and they wouldn’t know until it moved. Curse their gray skin tone, it blends so well with the shadows of the night!
“So… what’s it like being a Princess? Must be nice right?” Applejack asked looking nervously at the dark canopy.
Luna smiled softly at the orange mare. (Of course she would be nervous. Ponies don’t usually venture out at night.)
“It has its perks.” Luna answered, her smile widened as thought of all the fun she and her sister had in their first years of ruling. Her smile fading remembering how fast things changed. How they changed. “But it also requires you to give up a lot in return. Some advice an insider." Luna leaned close and whispered. "Don't become a princess! No matter how good they make it sound! It’s all very stressful!”
Applejack’s eyes widened. Luna chuckled at the expression. “Is it really that bad?”
Regaining control of herself Luna answered, “No, not really. Mostly it’s the nobles that get tiring. Always on about this and that. It really is exhausting. More so is how fake everypony seems. They are always plotting and scheming or planning their own political agenda. I prefer the simpler things. Things like this where I am useful.”
Silently the two mares continued on, the soft sounds of the night making a rhythmic melody as they traveled. Luna kept her gaze straight ahead, her ears perked up and twitching at every sound, cataloging everything she heard and saw in search for anything out of the norm.
Applejack did roughly the same, though her attention turned more towards the Princess of the Night. Her thoughts ran wild. (How can a pony that has everything still look so sad? Doesn’t she have any friends or something?)
“So, what do you do all day, or all night? Ah suppose as Princess of the Night you sleep during the day right?” Applejack wanted to face hoof. Way to sound intelligent Aj! She’s probably thinking you’re just some apple brained simpleton!
“A common misconception,” Luna answered. “I am awake during the day, most of the time. I mainly stay awake for Celestia’s sake. She enjoys having morning breakfast together.” (At least she used too when she was home!) “I guess you can say we balance night and day. Why are you staring?”
Applejack chuckled awkwardly, “Sorry it’s just you said ‘I’ instead of ‘We.’ It’s kind of funny. I just assumed you always spoke in fancy.”
Luna chuckled, “We, We mean I, suppose it is rather funny. We just enjoy speaking this way, plus it is tradition! But um, which do you prefer Applejack?”
Applejack shrugs, “Whatever you like. Don’t change for me, Princess, I mean Luna!”
“We enjoy your honesty Applejack.” Luna stiffened. Something was watching them. “Applejack, be careful.” Luna whispered, unfolding her wings to reveal a set of leather holsters with something metal resting inside. “The enemy comes!”
Time seem to slow down. Luna's horn flashed with magic, drawing her weapons. At first they looked like a pair of short swords, but a number of soft clicks a later the blades unfolded, changing into the shape of four pointed star.
Luna let the stars loose and they flew through the air, their blades shining in the moonlight. The face of their enemy became clear in the soft white light. Cyclops. A easy enough foe for her. Her blades hit the cyclopes with a loud “CLANG”! Indicating they hit something other than fleshy cyclops skin. Something was different about these beasts.
The one eyed beasts became fully visible in the moonlight, their usual gray leathery skin was coarse and ridged like stone. Like the skin of a golem. Another difference was that the horn sprouting from their heads like that of a unicorn. Luna was wondering what other differences there could be when one of the cyclops’s eye began to glow. Quickly Luna pushed Applejack out of the way as a fiery beam of death shot from the monster’s iris!
“That’s new!” A burning ditch was all that remained of where they once stood. In light of these recent developments Luna decided a tactical withdraw was in order. “Run Applejack!”
The farm mare scrambled to her hooves, but the loose stones beneath her made her slip and fall. One of the cyclopes reached for the farm mare and Luna made a split second decision. She jumped in the away!
“Run and get help! Get my sister!” Luna ordered as the cyclops grabbed her. She struggled to break free, but found her magic draining from her body. "That’s new too…"
“Princess Luna!” Applejack screamed as the Princess of Night was knocked out and carried away. All but one of the cyclopes left, and it stood right in the path of Applejack’s escape.
“Oh, Celestia…” The farm pony gulped as the monster reached for her. Her body began to tremble with fear, but then a burning heat flowed throughout her. "NO! NOT LIKE THIS! Ah ain’t going down like some yellowbelly! Ah’m going fightin’!"
With a frantic scream Applejack turned, readied her apple bucking stance and kicked with all her might! Her body glowed bright orange as her hooves connected with the stone cyclopes, which shattered to pieces!
“What the hay was that?” The glow around her died down leaving Applejack confused. “Did I? Did I really do that?” She gasped in awe, looking at the shattered cyclopes. Shaking herself of her stir Applejack headed in the direction Luna had been taken.
“Ah gotta help the Princess, but Ah’m feelin’ kinda tired…”
Applejack fell, skidding across the ground, feeling like she ran a marathon. As her vision gave way to darkness, she saw the shattered pieces of the cyclops begin to put themselves back together. She felt her body being lifted off the ground before passing out.
At some point during her ‘trip’ Luna had awoken only to be knocked out again by a low hanging branch. When she awoke again she found herself behind bars in a cave with a number of other ponies of varying age. All of them were fillies and colts, no more than six or eight summers old.
Curiously enough they were all earth ponies and they all had their marks. Apple marks to be exact. There was no doubt they were the missing kin of the apple clan.
“Greeting, fillies and colts of the Apple clan, we are Princess Luna and we are here to see to your safe return home!” Luna dramatically declared with the aid of her Canterlot voice. The gathered foals stared at the Princess of the Night with vacant expressions. One red little filly with a green mane and a apple musical note stepped forward.
“You’re not doing a very good job then if you got captured.” The filly deadpanned.
Luna dug her hoof in the ground, “Well it was… all part of my plan to find you! Soon my companion will arrive with help and we will all be rescued!” Way to represent the element of Honesty Luna, great job, lying to foals.
“Now, what is your name little one?” She asked, trying be spirited.
“Applejazz and cousin Applejack wouldn’t happen to be the companion who’s supposed to get help would she?”
“Why yes, how did you know?” Luna asked. The sound of the door opening and closing behind her.
“Because I think they got her.” Jazz trotted over to her cousin, confused as she looked the unconscious mare over. “Hey AppleAnna?” She asked addressing the pink coated filly with a pie on her flank.
“Yeah, Jazz?”
“Applejack had five apples for her mark right?”
“Yeah, what you getting at,” AppleAnna retorted walking up to Jazz.
Jazz pointed to Applejack’s mark, “That don’t look like five apples to you does it?”
AppleAnna shook her head, “No, no it don’t.”
“Stand aside please,” Luna pushed her way past the fillies looking at the orange mare’s flank, where a noticeable change has taken place. In place of Applejack’s five apples was one big apple with a shield in the background and two swords crossed behind the shield "Her mark changed? Does this mean… "
Luna didn't get a chance to finish as Applejack began to stir.
“Ugh, what happened?”
“You were captured, dear Applejack, did you not heed our advice and try to escape?” Luna helped the orange mare to her hooves, making sure to check for any injuries.
Applejack frowned, her head was throbbing and she still felt exhausted. However, the sight of the little foals brought a smile to her face. “Jazz, Anna, you’re all alive!” Applejack exclaimed happily pulling all the foals in for hugs. “I thought you’d all been gobbled up! Thank the sisters you’re alive!”
“We doubt neither Celestia’s nor my influence had any part in the foals continued good health. Our captors seem to have another purpose for them beside consumption. I wonder what it could be.” Luna rubbed her chin, thinking of what any pony would want with foals from a poor family. Something told her it wasn’t because they were earth ponies.“We don’t have time for that! We have to get these younglings out of here and fast!”
“You are correct Applejack. The purpose of this crime can be analyzed later. Now stand back, I will get us out!” Luna moved to the front of the cage, her horn glowing with magic. She reared back and attempted to pull the bars off, but several beams of magic interfered with her spell, knocking her aside. “What is the meaning of this?”
Peering outside the cave Luna saw the cyclopes’ horns glowing. I guess this means they can use magic too. It seems to be specifically anti-magic spells. Meaning any spell I attempt to cast will be interrupted. I need to find another way… Hmm that’s strange.
In the corner of the camp was a cyclops by itself away from the others. Most noticeably its skin was cracked and falling apart. The stone beast was attempting to keep its crumbling frame together, but ultimately failing.
A sudden thought come to Luna, “Applejack, did you do something to one of the cyclopes before being captured?”
The farm pony beamed with pride, “Darn tooting! Ah don’t know how, but the grubber was reaching for me and Ah turned and kicked him with all mah might! He crumpled like pie crust, but afterwards Ah got real tired and fell asleep. Suckers must have come back and captured me.”
As I thought. There just might be another way out. If unicorn magic was being blocked, then one must use a different type of pony magic.
“Applejack I have a plan, but I need your help. Now can you tell me what you were feeling when you kicked the cyclops?”
Applejack hesitated, nervously digging her hoof in the ground, “Ah don’t usually open up on my feelin’ but if it helps us get out of here. Ah was feeling, hopeless, yet angry about not being able to protect my kin. Ah wished Ah had the strength to hurt those lousy varmints! Next thing Ah knew my hooves were bucking through that thing like a hammer to butter.”
“We knew it!” Luna shouted excitedly. You have awoken your magic!”
Applejack reared back in surprise on the count of her proximity to Luna’s booming voice, “What are ya talking about Princess? Earth ponies don’t have magic other than for growing plants.”
Luna shook her head, “No Applejack. That’s not true. Earth ponies aren’t just connected to plants.”
“they are connected to the very earth itself, which is full of magic! You may not be able to use magic like unicorns, but this magic is nonetheless just as powerful.”
“Is that why my cutie mark changed?”
“Perhaps, I would hazard to guess that you simply found a new destiny. Tell me, what did your old mark represent?”
“My family,” Applejack replied looking lovingly at the captured foals, “One apple for me, my ma, my pa, my little sister and my big brother. And of course all the other apples as well.”
“hm, now what do you think your new mark means?”
Applejack studied her mark carefully before answering, “An apple, a shield, and swords… Ah think it means, it means… Ah will protect my kin!”
The orange glow returned to Applejack’s body, her eyes turned pure white due to the amount of magic flowing through her.
“Good Applejack, now together! FOR EQUESTRIA!” Luna began to glow, her eyes white as she drew on the earth pony magic inside her.
“FOR EQUESTRIA!” The mares yelled together and kicked the cage door right off its hinges. The two dashed out of the cave, mere blurs of blue and orange. The cyclopes flew into action firing beams of fire, swinging clubs and firing bolts of magic from their horns, but they were too slow. The two mares pouncing on the cyclops.
Applejack jumped on the back of one cyclops, hooting and hollering while swinging a lasso over her head. She roped another cyclops and pulled, causing it stumble and crash into one she was riding. She then proceeded to pound them to rubble. Luna smashed another two and decapitated a third. They stared down the remaining three and rushed them before they had time to prepare. The cyclops painicked roars echoed through the trees.
In a matter of minutes the eight cyclopes were reduced to a mere pile of pebbles. Luna gathered the remains and blasted them to the moon!
“There, that should take care of them! Can We hear a huzzah for our victory?” The cheers of foals were like music to Luna’s ears as they flocked to her. She tried to retain her regal air, she really did, but the excitement was too much! The biggest smile broke across her face as she lifted the foals into the air with her magic and danced excitedly around the now ruined camp.
They are praising me. They appreciate my efforts. I’m… loved…. Just like Celestia!
Up in the night sky the stars began to shine brighter than ever before! Their sheer brilliance captured the attention of the foals as they were memorized by their twinkling glory.
“Whoa, so pretty…” Jazz and the other foals said as they stared hypnotized by the beauty of the night sky for the first time.
Luna looked up with a single tear in her eye as she gazed at the wonderful sky. “Yes, yes it is.” She whispered. I can’t remember the last time the sky lit up like this. Have I been slacking or maybe I just didn’t think it was worth the effort to make it like this anymore.
Wiping away her tear before any pony could see, Luna addressed the foals, “Alright that’s enough. Time to get you little ones home.”
“Will we have to walk through the forest?” One of the fillies asked, shivering fearfully at the mere idea of it. The cheerful mood was killed as the fact they were still in the middle of the dark forest filled with more hungry creatures lurking in the shadows was realized.
Looking over to Applejack Luna saw that the orange mare was exhausted. Using her new magic ability had worn the mare out to the point where she could barely stand. To make matters worse there were too many foals for Luna to lead safely through the forest. Two or three she could manage, but ten, plus Applejack? No, it was too easy for something to snatch one up without her notice, but she couldn’t risk running them in smaller groups, leaving the rest to wait for her return. Any number of things could happen! She had to find a way to bring them all back at once.
A shadow passed over the clearing. Luna looked up to see as large cloud in the sky.
“Stay here, I shall return shortly.” Taking to the sky Luna captured the cloud with her hooves and brought it down to the clearing. “Come everypony, climb on.”
“Umm, ya know were not pegasi right?” Jazz stated matter of fact.
“We do indeed little one, but you forget who you speak too.” Luna’s horn flashed and a wave of magic passed over the earth ponies.
“Now climb on.” She insisted.
The foals hesitated, but Applejack was too tired to deal with them, so she grabbed one by the tail and tossed them onto the cloud.The foal landed on the cloud with a poof and remained there. “Come on yawl, you heard the Princess! Now get moving!” She ordered while tossing another foal onto the cloud.
The rest of the foals and fillies piled onto the clouds in excitement. They had never ridden on a cloud before!
“That’s all of them, let’s get going Princess.” Applejack said tiredly as she collapsed next to Luna. “Softest bed Ah ever lay on. Wake me up when we’re home please…..Zzzzzzz”
Luna chuckled at the farm pony’s antics and set the cloud in motion, heading towards the Apple clan’s settlement.
It was nearly morning when Luna arrived back at the Apple settlement. once again her heart was set a flutter as the foals ran to their parents. The sight was something to behold as there were no words that could properly describe the scene in front of her.
Perhaps heartwarming comes close, but how long will it last? Curse my ever tactical mind! Not even a minute has passed and I’m already picturing disaster.
Everywhere Luna looked she saw what could happen to the poorly defended settlement. The cyclopes maybe gone, but what will come next? Timber wolves? trolls? what about ogres, ghoul ponies, or even griffons? By the moon these ponies are way too vulnerable!
Preparing her Canterlot voice Luna spoke to the gathered ponies, “Everypony, if We may have your attention!” All movement stopped as the Apple clan gave their full attention to the Princess of the Night. Luna walked into the middle of the crowd to ensure all heard what she had to say. “Due to the clear danger and your lack of defensive measures, we Luna, Princess of the Night, invite the Apples to thine castle for refuge and safety! Until the time in which thou are able to properly defend thy selves. What say you?”
The ponies murmured amongst each other, divided about what to do. On one hoof, it would be nice to have a safe place to properly build their settlement and work their crops, but on the other hoof the Apple clan tradition was to do everything themselves, no matter the obstacle. Could they risk their foals though? Was tradition that important? The debate dragged on until one pony voiced her opinion.
“Ah say we take up the offer!” Applejack declared loudly drawing a number of surprised gasps from her kin and a happy smile from the Princess. “We can’t build a home safe for the youngin’s if we can’t keep the youngin’s safe! And we can’t keep moving from place to place every time things get too tough! Winter is coming and we need shelter! All ponies that are with me raise your hoof and say Aye!”
The other apples still hesitated, their stubborn pride getting the better of them.
“Aye!” A bold little voice declared, the crowd of ponies moved aside to reveal little Applejazz with her hoof raised high.
“Aye!” Another foal shouted, this time from AppleAnna.
Soon enough the entire Apple clan held up their hooves.
Luna smiled at the sight, “Excellent! Gather what you can carry, the rest will be retrieved next evening after the day’s work is done. We march for the castle once you are ready.”
The march to the castle wasn’t long, taking only an hour or so for the convoy of ponies to trot down the old road that ran to the castle. Luna flew overhead, circling from front to back to ensure the convoy’s protection. She also noticed the road was in rough shape due to poor maintenance. Repairs were in order if ponies were going to be using the road daily. At least the bridge was in fine shape, she was sure the arching stone structure would last a thousand years before it ever fell into the gorge that divided the castle grounds and the forest.
“We are here Apple Clan. Say hello your new home!” Luna directed the clan into the main hall of the castle, giving the castle staff quite a shock as the mass of ponies entered. “There are many rooms available, but please try to fit as many as comfortably possible so everypony may have a room. Breakfast will be in a few hours, please rest till then.” As the Apple ponies spread out Luna blocked the path of a certain orange mare that looked like she was about ready to drop dead on the spot. “Please Applejack, come with me. I have a special place in mind for you.”
Applejack nodded tiredly, following the blue mare up the stairs to the higher tier of the castle. She was wobbling on her hooves by the time they got where Luna wanted her.
“Please rest here Applejack.” Luna directed helping the farm mare into a large midnight blue bed. Applejack let out an exhausted sigh as her head hit the pillow.
“This is the softest bed Ah ever… Zzzzz.”
Luna chuckled as she tucked in the mare. “Rest well my friend. There is much work to be done tomorrow.”
Some late night research should pass the time. (I want to confirm my suspicions about Applejack’s new mark and also see if there’s any reason that Cyclopes were that strong, it just doesn’t seem natural.
With her mind swirling Luna trotted off to the castle library.
It was early dawn as Celestia, Princess of the Sun, flew home, raising the sun as she crossed the sky. She’d been gone for a long time. About two months if she recalled correctly. The ponies in Canterlot were always so demanding, and with the Royal family passing all their power on to her and Luna things had gotten even more hectic.
Somepony even suggested I move to Canterlot. Though it would make things easier, I fear Luna would not be so excited.
Luna had never liked Canterlot. Preferring their castle in the Everfree forest with its quiet nights and natural beauty over Canterlot’s ever growing population and stone work. Not that I blame Luna, I’m rather fond of our castle, but as rulers we should really put our subjects first.
Another thing that bothered the her was Luna’s lack of attention to her royal duties. She never came with her when they were called to Canterlot, opting instead to stay at the castle alone.
Of course Celestia could hardly blame Luna for that either. Politics were rather boring and Starswirl really had to twist Luna’s leg to get her agree to become Equestria’s ruler of the night in the first place.
Luna had always been the more adventurous the two. As was I once, but it’s time to grow up. As Celestia neared the castle she flew around to Luna’s balcony and spotted a lump in Luna’s bed. She couldn’t have gone to sleep already has she? We haven’t had our breakfast yet. I better check on her. She might not be feeling well.
Landing softly as she could on the stone floor Celestia tip hoofed over to Luna’s bed. With her horn alight with yellow magic she gently pulled away the cover to reveal… A brown hat?
Ripping the covers of the bed, Celestia gasped to find an orange earth pony sleeping in her sister’s bed. The pony had the most peculiar cutie mark on her flank, an apple, a sword and a shield. More importantly though...
Where’s Luna? Celestia panicked as the mare yawned rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“You there! Who are you and what have thou done with my sister!” Celestia shouted using her own Canterlot voice, causing the room to shake. The mare jumped out of the bed with a fright! Her eyes wide as dinner plates as Celestia got right in her face. “I’ll ask thee again! Where is thine sister?”
I really need to brush up on my Royal speak. I’m getting rusty. Celestia Mused before bearing down even harder on the trembling mare.
“Answer!” Celestia demanded, causing Applejack to tremble and cover her face with her hat. Celestia raised her hoof in a mock strike to further intimidate the mare when Luna trotted into the room.
“Ugh, you make it so hard to read dearest sister! Now stop tormenting my guest and come eat breakfast. The others are getting impatient. Come along Applejack, tis time for food!” Luna shouted excitedly levitating the orange mare off the ground and carrying her off, leaving Celestia standing alone stupefied.
Guest… since when does Luna have guests? And what others?
Confused and curious Celestia trotted after them to main dining hall. A roar of happy chatter echoed down the corridor. Walking into the light she was welcomed to the sight of a hundred or more earth ponies seated at the long dining tables, with food stacked high, most of it apples. in fact it was all apples!
“Come over here and sit with us sister! These ponies make the most amazing dishes We have ever tasted! And it’s all made from apples, can you believe it?” Luna chatted excitedly while munching on an apple fritter. Luna was seated in her usual spot, with the orange mare seated to her right, leaving Celestia her regular chair.
“I believe I can.” Celestia stammered as she took her seat. Somepony placed a fresh hot plate of goodies from baked apples to Apple cake in front of her. “Who are all these ponies Luna?”
“We’ll let them introduce themselves, it’s rather amusing. Everyone this is my sister Celestia. Please feel free to introduce yourselves.”
Applejazz, AppleAnna, and some other ponies jumped in front of Celestia, nearly giving her a heart attack and shouted, “We’re the…!” They began excitedly and then were joined by everypony in the room, “APPLE CLAN!”
It’s like a hundred Luna’s shouting at once! Celesta thought as the sheer noise of the threatened to leave her temporarily deaf.
“Nice to meet all of you,” Celestia greeted meekly. There is no way to compete with a greeting like that.
With introductions out of the way the ponies dug in to their breakfast with gusto. Celestia could hardly manage a few bites before she was full. The food was very filling. She looked up to watch the others. (and they're… still eating…)
Celestia watched in awe as the mountain of food slowly disappeared before her eyes. When all was eaten the mares of the apple clan began gathering the dishes while the stallions headed towards the door.
“Where are they going?” Celestia asked.
“To their fields, dear sister, they are settler ponies, but they were having a hard time making proper shelters while also working the fields. with winter coming soon, I decided to invite them to the castle since we have all this extra room. They make the place much more lively don’t you think?”
“Yes, they certainly do,” Celestia agreed. “Where are you going Luna?”
Luna paused at the stairs and turned, “To sleep, I’m afraid. I’m very tired. I’ll see you in the evening Celestia. Applejack, if you please follow me I’ll show you to your own room before I retire.”
“Ok, Princess.” Applejack carefully made her way to Luna, Celestia’s gaze following her with every step.
The Sun Princess raised a suspicious brow at the orange mare, “A friend Luna?”
Luna chuckled, “More than that dear sister, she is a comrade.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I’ll explain later Tia. I suggest you rest too, it’s a long trip back to Canterlot.” With that Luna bounded up the stairs, Applejack on her heels.
How long has it been since Luna called me Tia? Or even smiled and laughed like that? Wait… what about Canterlot? Celestia’s horn glowed and in a puff of magic a scroll appeared in front of her with the Canterlot seal on it.
Can’t I ever get a break? Celestia whined internally, resting her head between her forelegs.
Applejack followed Luna pass the Princess’s room and all the other bedrooms, only stopping once stopping once they reached the library.
“Um Princess, this doesn’t look like a bedroom and Ah really need to get out to the fields.”
Luna smiled as she levitated several books onto a nearby table. Stacking them nearly twenty high! “I’m afraid you have more important things to do Applejack. There is much to learn and very little time.”
“Learn?”
Luna nodded, “Yes. Learn, Applejack. As of this moment you are my prodigy. I will teach you how to use your awakened earth pony magic and more, so much more. Now I expect you to have at least three of these books read by the time I awaken this evening. I’ll inform your kin that you will not be joining them.”
“Wait Princess! AH….” It was too late, the door slammed shut and it wasn’t budging no matter how hard Applejack pushed. With no other option Applejack hunkered down on a cushion and opened a book. Only there was one problem.
“What in the hay is this language? Ah can’t read any of it!”
Luna trotted off to bed, her mind full of plans and preparations. Mentally she listed off all the things she would need to set her plan in motion.
"I need warriors, arms, blacksmiths, minerals and materials and so many more things. It was foolish to think I could patrol the night all on my own. I may have the strength of a thousand ponies, but I can only cover so much ground at a time. I need comrades like Applejack, ponies who are willing to do what needs done. Together we will guard ponies from the night!"
Luna threw herself under the covers, almost too excited to sleep. But as the exhaustion from today’s adventure overcame her body she began drift to sleep. I need a name for this group, something simple… like Night Patrol. Yes, that’s perfect. With a smile on her lips Luna drifted off to her dreams.
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Ok, interesting start. However you need to do some editing because there are parts that I am assuming are supposed to be thoughts, but there is nothing to distinish them from anything else.
You broke your italics and now the entire story is in italics.
I wood of said Night Witches
Here we go...
Words in bold mean that they should replace other words. These are for misspelled words, grammatical errors or poor word choice. These are small changes.
Words crossed out means you should get rid of them. These are for excessive words.
Underlined words are things you need to add to the sentence.
Italics are major changes to a sentence, usually meaning a re-write of said sentence is required.
Night had fallen over ancient Equestria once more. All over the land ponies retreated to the safety of their homes. For when the moon rose in the sky and the stars twinkled, the monsters of the forests would leave the depths of the darkness and prey upon any pony that dare stay out too late.
This did not sit well with the ruler of the Night, Princess Luna, who wished for her subjects to embrace the night and take in all its beauty. Luna spoke of her concerns to her elder sister Celestia, Princess of the Sun, but she was tied up with the politics of Canterlot that demand her attention. Leaving Luna no choice but to take matters into her own hooves . It was up to her to protect her subjects from the terrors of the night!
“Tis a good idea, now we shall keep our little ponies safe from that which lurks in the dark!” Luna spoke using the loud, booming, royal Canterlot voice, rattling the more friendly creatures of the night from their burrows. So far her patrol has taken her into the Everfree forest that surrounded the Castle of the Royal Sisters. though maybe it should be called the castle of the Royal Sister. (This actually needs to be italicized) Luna thought sadly, since she had been the only one living in the castle for quite some time now. Minus a few servants of course.
Her sister Celestia had been spending more time in the unicorn city of Canterlot as of late. The nobles of the city demanding her input on many matters. The fact that she, the Princess of the Night, was never called was… a little disheartening. But she was warrior. Her ideals didn't fit
wellwith those of theunicorncity. Those matters were better left to Celestia, who wasgreatlymore skilled at dealing with such tasks.“Still they could send a letter.” Luna muttered as she trotted to the nearby village. So far no monsters had appeared, a good thing too, the village’s pitiful defenses would never hold back any sort of attack, mainly because there were no defenses. “Best to move on to the next town, OUCH!”
I would go on, but I don't feel like quoting the entire story, so here's the first five paragraphs instead! If you want me to keep going then just say the word.
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It would be appreciated but you don’t have to