• Member Since 8th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Oct 18th, 2020

Shattered Heart


I am a brony and an otaku! What does that make me?! I dunno. brotaku?

Sequels1

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Based on the original characters of Kilala97's Next Generation pictures.
http://kilala97.deviantart.com/
This person is amazing if you love MLP FIM she is a must see on deviantart.

Narrated by Prism Bolt the son of Rainbow Dash & Soarin, who is very much like Rainbow Dash! He has an ego, talented in flying, and is quite the prankster! Prism tells the story of how he came to fall in love with the love of his life. Anthea, the adoptive daughter of Fluttershy, who is just as sweet, but far more flamboyant. Prism chose to narrate the story due to the inspiration he got from a popular comic book antihero who often broke the fourth wall and wound up talking to himself and sometimes the audience, but in reality he is merely talking to somepony, but who? Anthea also seems to be in on the storytelling! Who are they talking to? Why are they doing it? What will happen once the story is over?

Rainbow Dash is fed up with her son Prism for always goofing off & pranking ,but never thinking about his future! With no job, and no goals in life how can he possibly live on his own someday? Kicked out of his own home by his own mother Prism Bolt dashes out into a storm swearing to never return home! Discovered sitting in the rain he is LITERALLY dragged home by Anthea. Why? Stay tuned!

Characters belong to Kiala97 who can be found on deviantart here. Friendship is Magic is owned by Lauren Faust, DHX media, Hasbro and the Hub. I do not own these characters and make no profit from making these stories.

Anthea & Prism is the Next Gen characters in the "Kilalaverse"
Anthea being the adopted daughter of Fluttershy
Prism being the son of Rainbow Dash & Soarin!

Please do leave feedback so that I know whether to continue the series or end it. Also please do not dislike simply because you do not like the shipping that happen, I hold no control over that aside the Annie x Prism. If you are familiar with Kilala97's characters and do not like this shipping, please understand that I simply made this for fun, not because I ship them but because it seemed like an interesting ship that was brought up by Kilala herself as a Guilty Pleasures ship.

Edit: I feel that I fucked up on Prism's actual personality and made him more of fruity than he should be... Like. WAAAAAAY MORE. So as a result I really don't see myself finishing this story. I kinda feel bad doing this to those who liked the story, but even more to Kilala whose character i pretty much changed to fit the story i wanted to write. My apologies, if i ever feel like doing so, i'll update the final chapter

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 18 )

Please do comment on how I can improve as a writer or what you enjoyed in my writing. All types of criticisms are helpful towards improvement. Thank you very much

I will say much improved. The structure feels much stronger as does the grammar. The idea of Prism telling the story feel much more organic, and while his breaks from the story are still there, we as an audience are better able to tell when the past and present are being shown. So yes I very much think this a superior version and I look forward to the next chapter.

5545358 YES! Thanks for your kind words! I feel a whole lot better about this and will work hard to make this a series!

Comment posted by DarthSylar12 deleted Apr 2nd, 2015

5575282 Thank you very much for commenting! please give a like to support this story xD im worried about the ratio... was there anything in particular you disliked?

I like where this is heading, but you need to fix some of your grammar errors. Other than that, keep up the good job!!!

5588757 That means a lot! If you don't mind do you mind pointing out the grammar errors you caught so that I may change them? xD

Filly mean young female horse, the word you're looking for is colt. That mean a young male horse. Other than that you did a pretty good job!

Comment posted by Shattered Heart deleted Apr 2nd, 2015
Comment posted by ZeroPony55 deleted Apr 2nd, 2015
Comment posted by Shattered Heart deleted Apr 2nd, 2015

It has come to my attention I made very minor, yet many of the same grammatical errors, so I had copy pasted the chapters in microsoft word and corrected them... it took... so much longer... than I thought... anyhow, it should be easier to read now. If there was anything I overlooked please do let me know

I wondr what rainbkw Dash would think of her son no longer ABLE to see her. just what she wanted! I bet discord did something by mistake to make this permanent. thatd teach rd.

So sugar-coated!I love things like this!:raritystarry:

Suddenly I feel Annie's embrace leaving mine, stomping of the stairs, and the slam of a door. Annie must have just realized what I had truly done. Even I didn't know I was going to miss the competition, but even so I feel I should talk to her. Turning to Auntie Fluttershy I tell her that I’ll go talk to Annie and Rain began to lead me up the stairs. Knocking on the door I ask, “Annie, you in there?" Silence filled the hallway with no response. Hearing the sounds of Discord giggling and the hushing of Auntie Fluttershy's words, I continue to talk to Annie. "Doooooooo you wanna build a snowcolt?" I suddenly hear the opening of the door, the sounds of steps advancing towards me, and a smack at the back of my head.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THAT SONG

anyways nice chapter keep going

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