• Member Since 30th May, 2014
  • offline last seen March 16th

Ferrous


Slowest writer award winner, 4 years running!

Comments ( 266 )

I've been working on finishing Chapter 8, which will be up by the end of the day (1/1/15) as a sort of Happy New Year or whatever.

Edit: published 15 minutes behind schedule due to some last-minute revisions.

I like it its a very good read.:twilightsmile:

5453802 Thank you for the feedback, it's really motivating to know someone enjoyed it.

ill see if it gets a higher liked rating before i read it

Oh twi, swearing on camera.

It's unfortunate how little attention this story has been getting. It's doesn't have the most depth that could be found but it's a fun story to read I think.

Yep, this story is definitely a fun one.

5474542 I'm glad you've been enjoying it. I've mostly been scribbling thoughts during my lunch breaks at work and fleshing them out when I get home.

If I may ask, what sort of depth are you referring to? Character development? Plot?

5475413 I suppose the answer is yes to both of those.

Plot: Jedi crashes and then hangs out with ponies.

In this case the development mostly refers to the relationship between Titus and Twilight. Titus himself seems to have a decent bit of development. I can recognize him when you write him and he has quirks. The issue there is that he seemed a bit too quick to reciprocate Twilight's affection.

With that in mind, you're story is fine. I like reading it. You do have some development for the connection and you have plenty of time to do interesting things with the plot.

If you wanted to be the epitome of literary finesse then maybe some restructuring would be in order, but only if that has been your goal all along. Neither of the stories that I've posted are even meant to be high quality.

I think I'm rambling. You probably have a cool enough head that you'll get my point.

I really like the story. At first I was a bit skeptical about a Jedi crossover but have been really enjoying the story.

Keep up the good work. Your writing has gotten smoother from the first couple of chapters.

5545207 Thanks! I haven't sat down and written anything purely for fun since I got out of high school, so I guess it just took a bit of practice to get the gears going again.

5453802 What does the writing in your avatar say?

5573247 I am having fun and you cant stop me.

I just read chapter 10 and it looks like this is going to be the last chapter for me. which sucks because this was one of the few stories that I couldn't wait for the next chapter. but I just cant do human turns into a pony.

5574306 Let me assure you I have no intention of this story turning into a human-into-pony deal and that his condition is completely temporary and planned to be brief, as you will find if you check in for Ch.11 once it is published. What I will say is that his stay in Canterlot will be almost exclusively in Human PoV and his current form is only being used to establish a precedent for something I have planned down the line involving what has been slowly developing and hinted at in the last few chapters, as well as to provide a logically sound (as logically sound as it can be, anyway) reason for him to run into an unseen complication that requires him to visit Ponyville Hospital. Something tells me they probably won't accept his Jedi health insurance coverage... :twilightsheepish:

5574598 Let's just allude to my elusive illusive allusions.

5625208 A deviously delightful diction I did decidedly derive delectation in dictating! I do deign you deserving of a dashing :moustache:

Seems promising. Lets continue.

Looking good. I'm interested in reading more. Though the part where she is mentioning her friends coming on different days is a little odd. It just feels weird written like that. Also I believe only for rarity you start with At Noon, don't think you need that.

5639811 I had trouble writing that part, but I wanted to show that they were demonstrating their continued support for Spike rather than all showing up one day and just disappearing. As for the Rarity bit, I remember writing the noon part with the intention of conveying that she dropped what she had been doing (because in the show pretty much every scene of her in the boutique she's busy fulfilling one order or another or preparing for an event) to make a set of custom pillows and probably had been working on them all morning. Could have been written better, I will admit, but I'd rather not go back and retcon it now.

5680492 Fixed. Thanks for the catch! :twilightsmile:

"I have been, and always shall be, your friend."

...Damn it. Damn it all thrice over. Why do you toy with my heartstrings!

Live long and Prosper Nimoy, wherever your Katra ends up in these stars or the next. :ajsleepy::fluttershyouch::raritydespair:

Nimoy's dead, Kitty0706 died back in late January, who's the next one to fall?

5707124 I was unaware Kitty had passed. Dammit this year is off to a rough start.

5712436 DasBoSchitt gave a eulogy for him on his channel:

Colin Wyckoff's biggest regret when he was in the hospital, was not being able to work on any of his ideas while in bed, and after getting out: he swore to begin at work on a whole slew of new videos immediately.

I remember the first video of his that I saw, it was from the Heavy Moments Series, the episode where he goes to get an Xbox. I was there on release day for his greatest masterpiece: Team Fabulous 2. Me and my kid brother David both stood up late to see his shenanigans, not knowing what kind of video to expect, and when it was over, we were floored by the sheer awesomeness and absurdity of it all.

Let's hope that there will be another "Colin Wyckoff"-like Gmodder in the future, his work deserves to be remembered and continued.

5685848 " "I have been, and always shall be, your friend." "

Which is exactly what Sunset Shimmer said in MLP Time Loops, that was so cool!^_^

This is an awesome story, nicely done so far.

And this chapter... man, I'll miss that guy... he was awesome ;w;
Nicely done, and RIP Nimoy... you were a good friend.

wow I know of whole stories that are not as long as this chapter.

Haha! Huzzah! *insert Luna emoje here*

Awesome new chapter man! one hell of a good read!
Luna gets a lightsaber? or did I misinterpert that?

DAWW THE HUGZ AND THE LURVS.

Nice job man, keep it up!

5830753 I have something planned for the lightsaber... but no, Titus had both with him when he left Canterlot.

5831614
Oh really? niceness! :D

Can't wait to see what ya have planned boyo~

\)^o^)/

*After reads the whole chapter* ...DAYUM! That was long!

Also

"Come on out, big guy, I got a 'muffin' for you to butter!"

Derpy!? :derpyderp1:

5833685 HA! I was hoping someone would spot that as I originally had a line before Twilight put up a sound barrier around the library that insinuated Derpy overheard that unnamed pony mention muffins (it read: A fourth voice joined the pleading, "Did somepony say muffins?!"), but on my last editing pass I felt it was a little more fun if perceptive readers could draw their own conclusion. :twilightsmile:

And they aren't freaked and know exactly what a spaceship is even though they clearly haven't reached the space age yet because...? Good story so far, even if I'm a little confused presently as to how in Equestria Twilight knows what a spaceship is. Are you playing off the assumption that they have sci-fi movies or something?

Comment posted by Ferrous deleted Jan 27th, 2016

cool new chapter if I had time I would read it now, but I haft to go to work instead.:yay:

her connection to the Force just disappear

it don't disappear they become one with the forces.

6246255 It disappeared in that he could feel her there and suddenly he did not, he felt a change in the Force in much the same way that Yoda could feel each and every Jedi that was killed in the Purge - he wasn't feeling them become one with the Force, he was feeling them being cut down.

Heeheehee, this was great, and I freaking loved how Lyra was acting XD hehehe.
She's so cute.

with Lyra having to suffer through an afternoon of Twilight referring to her as "Lyra Fartstrings" until the mint unicorn had slipped some into a sandwich at which time Twilight had become "Sparklepoots"

You killed me with that XD HAHAHAHA!

Awesome job!

Comment posted by Galaxy of Equestria deleted Jul 27th, 2015

48,000 words in one chapter!!!:twilightoops::rainbowderp::pinkiegasp::applejackconfused:
I haven't started and already I'm getting a headache.

You know, I didn't even realize this, but cutting the clop out cut the chapter about 4,000 words shorter. I read both versions, because I can, and honestly? The clop version makes sense and advances their relationship, while not being this overblown "sex nao" horrible bit of story. So congrats on that. Also, I didn't really realize what this story was a crossover with until you brought up light sabers. I felt kind of dumb considering his first chapter worries about it being Jedi hunters taking shots at him, or the empire. Any way, a jump that requires him to go into cryo sleep is more than a jaunt across the galaxy. Unless he wasn't using a hyperdrive, and instead used normal engines, in which case it would definitely be needed.

6363675 Thanks! It was nice to wake up and that be the first thing I read today. :twilightsmile: One of the reasons it took me so long to get the chapter out - other than it's the first time I'd written clop - was that I wanted there to be a meaning behind it for both characters, Twilight because a certain unicorn villain (the reveal of who is coming up soon :pinkiegasp:) sabotaged her first forays into romance and Titus because his upbringing as a Jedi meant romantic involvement and sex was not something the Order generally approved of, as already discussed (there were a few special cases, though).

As for the cryo-sleep issue (I'm working on updating that chapter, like the other earlier ones) and in the new version it is clarified he does come out of hyperspace, though rather than one long journey he was making a multitude of smaller jumps with portions of regular sub-light travel between them which would be occurring over the course of a few days to a week or so with R6 and the IANA running the ship while he was sleeping.

6367439 Or he could be taking a trip beyond the outer rim and having Iana and R6 record everything while avoiding stars and what not. That's how I interpreted it at the time. Also, jumping a day forward, then spending a day on sub light engines, then jumping another day, and repeat would probably be the best way to hide from the Empire, because they would overshoot you by a week or twenty.

6367638 That's essentially what he was doing, but rather than exploring he was trying to pass off some information he had stolen, as alluded to in Prologue: Anomaly and mentioned to Twilight in Love Sick (in case you missed it)

"I mean, if I hadn't been double checking the ship stores to be sure the dock master wasn't trying to rip me off on the supplies I had bought I wouldn't have overheard one of the Clones talking about an Imperial ship patrolling the sector. I had recently stole some data on an obscure weapon prototype or mining laser - I'm not sure which - but to be safe I adjusted my flight path to make it look like I was making a routine delivery to a colony and not like I was avoiding the patrol."

Anyway, I agree that intermittent jumps would cause an Imperial pursuer difficulty, provided they didn't have a way to track his ship's magnetic signature in hyperspace, though dropping out of jumps would likely cause their sensors to have to sort through all the new magnetic readings they would pick up before they could continue pursuit.

6368753 Hence the repititive nature of going in and out of hyperspace. If nothing else, he could buy time.

"Captain, you have my sincere apologies. I... I never meant to harm anyone," Titus bowed his head to the unicorn for a moment, "I-I'm glad things did not escalate further..."

Yeah, it would have been terrible to try explaining to Twilight why you suddenly made her an only child... despite the fandom was being led to thinking that until the F*CK-UP that was the Canterlot Wedding episode... Digressions pushed aside...

Login or register to comment