Expanding Diplomatic Horizons
Chapter 8: Expanding Diplomatic Horizons
The Nineteenth Century: The Saga of Equestria
January 2, 1816
Canterlot, Equestria
“Wow, I can’t believe you were able to repair our ship so quickly,” said Walter.
“Oh, it was simple enough,” replied Celestia. “Once Twilight got a detailed look at the ship, she was able to logically deduce how each part worked. Then, it was a simple process of getting our hooves on the wood and rope needed.”
Twilight blushed, and she added, “The vessel wasn’t badly damaged. I mostly just had to repair a few patches in the hull and replace a few ropes.”
“Still. My comrades and myself owe you a debt of gratitude, Your Highnesses. I hope that someday, we can repay it,” replied Walter.
Shifting his feet, the human then said, somewhat awkwardly “I hope that our...denial of your request will not be taken too badly. After all, we are bound to report everything to the British government.”
Celestia sighed. “No, we understand. You have to maintain loyalty to your King, after all. We would hardly expect our ponies to hide things in a report to us just because a group of foreigners we do not know asked them to. However...please do not, if you help it, share our existence with the more common folk. The last thing we want is for large groups of humans to start flooding our borders without some other governing body to...help regulate them.”
Walter hesitated, then nodded. “That request is more reasonable. I will see to it that word of your existence is shared only with high-ranking authorities.”
“That means a lot to us,” replied Luna. “Thank you.”
The human nodded again.
After a moment, he looked over his shoulder to his crew and barked, “All right, sailors. Get on that ship and prepare to make way! Quickly now!”
The crew gave a collective start, then quickly retreated to the ship to begin making preparations.
Walter hesitated for a moment, then nodded to the Princesses. “I wonder if I will ever see you or this beautiful land again.”
“Perhaps,” replied Celestia. “I have a feeling that a lot of humans are going to be visiting this land of ours.”
He hesitated for a moment, then observed, “It must be strange, taking such an active role on the stage of the world; a stage that you hardly knew existed until recently.”
Celestia sighed, and said, “Indeed. I have protected my subjects for thousands of years from all kinds of threats. This, however, is one I cannot protect them from personally. It’s...going to take some getting used to.”
“Well, I’ll do my best to put in a good word for you back in the British government. With luck, this wonderful nation will not have to weather the storm by itself.”
“Thank you...we are in your debt, Mr. Walter.”
The human bowed his head. Acting on habit, he extended his hand in an attempt to honor the ancient tradition of shaking hands.
Of course, the process of shaking hands is complicated when the other party does not possess a set of hands.
“Here,” said Twilight, to defuse the quickly-developing awkwardness, “close your hand.”
Walter looked confused, but complied.
“Now, bump your hand into my hoof, gently. Hold it there for no more than two seconds, then you can remove it. Look me in the eyes and smile while doing it.”
Still confused, Walter nonetheless complied.
“In Equestria, that’s called a hoofbump. It comes in different forms, depending on your relationship with the pony in question and the setting. That one was the friendly, yet semi-formal greeting and parting bump.”
“Fascinating,” muttered Walter, as he did it again with each of the of the other Princesses.
“It’s not usually mandated by any social protocol, and usage is rare, but can be invoked by anypony in any setting. If one does not know what bump is appropriate, one is expected to allow the other party to lead and just follow their example.”
“Very fascinating,” repeated the human. After a moment, he shook his head to clear his thoughts.
“Are you sure those American explorers won’t give you any trouble?”
“I don’t intend to allow them,” replied Celestia. “If worse comes to worse, we will simply send them back from whence they came.”
“Captain, sir! We’re ready!” came the call from the Majesty.
“Very well. My homeland calls,” said Walter, turning around.
“Goodbye,” called the Princesses, as they watched them slowly start to make way.
“Twilight?” asked Celestia.
“Yes?”
“Did you get everything you need?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Hire as many ponies as you need, and see if you can build a ship like that. The national treasury is yours to use.”
March 14, 1816
Unlike the British explorers, the American “Second Corps of Discovery” apparently had no intention of leaving the land of Equestria. Rather, after they had formally meet with the Princesses, they sent one messenger back to the United States, and requested permanent residence in Equestria.
“Why?” Celestia had asked at the time.
“We have been ordered to begin the establishment of a formal diplomatic presence in the Principality of Equestria,” the leader of the expedition had replied.
“I never gave the authorization for that,” responded Celestia.
“Regardless, our orders are clear. If you want, our diplomatic mission shall be arriving in a few months. You can lodge a protest then.”
Princess Celestia had hesitated for a long moment, then asked herself rhetorically, “What choice do I have?” She then turned back to humans, and said: “Very well. You may build you embassy anywhere outside the walls of Canterlot, but within the township thereof.”
“And where does this township end? And, for that matter, what is a township, precisely?”
Celestia sighed. “The Principality is a single country, yes, but the nation is organized into townships, in which ponies are allowed to form their own local governments, to handle internal affairs. Such has been the way of things ever since the decentralization of the Principality after the Lunar Rebellion. Some townships elect their local government, such as the township of Ponyville. Those leaders are known as mayors. Others are lead by a whoever is the sheriff and responsible for upholding law and order in the township. This is common in the eastern townships, far away from the central government, such as Appleloosa. Still others request that I appoint a magistrate to oversee their town. This is the system in Maneterrey, just south of Canterlot.”
“Very decentralized,” mused the human. “The United States is also somewhat decentralized, and the powers of the smaller regions, known as ‘states’ are important to the governing of the nation.”
“Technically speaking, I and my fellow Princesses can override the decisions of the townships at anytime for any reason, or, indeed, no reason” said Celestia. “Such powers, however, haven’t been exercised for centuries.”
“And that is where the similarities end,” muttered the human, thinking of the uproar that would occur if the federal government overrode a state’s government. It would surely tear the Union apart!
“In fact, now that I think about it,” started Celestia, “I think I have a place for you to build. Follow me.”
* * *
Now that a few months had passed, the diplomat that the humans had sent for was due to arrive soon.
“I still can’t believe that they did not seek our approval before beginning construction an embassy,” mused Luna. “They must think that they have us exactly where they want us.”
“They do,” replied Celestia. “Think of it: they have a group of agents within our borders. They have diplomatic immunity, which they have perverted the meaning of in order to open our country to them. We can’t exactly complain to another country, as we don’t have diplomatic ties with one. We can’t oppose them directly, they outclass us in every way with their military. We’re helpless.”
“So, what can we do?” asked Cadance.
“It is starting to look more and more like we need to learn to play the human’s game.”
“Good luck getting any of the nobles to agree with you,” said Luna. “Something drastic will need to happen before they will support such actions. And we all know how much of a fit they can throw.”
“If something doesn’t change, that drastic occurrence you speak of may come sooner than we would like,” predicted Celestia.
August 12, 1816
London, Great Britain
“Lord Jenkinson? I have another collection of reports.”
“Thank you, sir. Just leave them on the desk, I’ll get to them soon.”
“Yes, sir.” The man delivering the reports did not leave, however.
“Is there something further I can help you with?” asked the Prime Minister.
“Just...sir, that top report from a mister Elijah Walter. He claims to have explored the territory south of British Columbia and...well, he has some...interesting...findings.”
“Like what?”
The man sighed, then opted for the direct approach. “Like an entire native nation whose population is made up of sentient, English-speaking ponies, some of which resemble the Greek myths of pegasi and unicorns.”
The Prime Minister blinked twice. “Impossible.”
“They are also organized into a relatively strong government with a powerful national identity, unlike the natives elsewhere.”
“This defies reason!”
“Maybe so, but they exist, nonetheless.”
“Are you saying that this nation is not lead by a chief, but instead possesses a reformed and centralized government structure?”
“Yes. They are a non-tribal, quadarchal, absolute principality.”
“Wow. And, just to be sure, you said that they ponies?!? Ponies that are somehow able to speak English? And are sentient?”
“That is what I said.”
An idea gripped the Prime Minister. “Very well. If what you say is true, then we cannot delay. Dispatch an ambassador as soon as possible. We must open diplomatic channels with this nation of ‘ponies,’ before the United States does.”
“Uh, sir?”
“Have those Americans already established a presence?”
“No, sir, but our explores report that the Equestrians, as they are called, have already had a few...shall we say, incidents, with the Americans. They also report that the rulers of this pony land are somewhat scared of and distrustful of the Americans, while we made a better, friendlier impression on them.”
“Excellent.” That should make this plan simpler.
“Sir, if I may?”
“Yes,” replied the Minister.
“You look as if you are planning something. What is it?”
Jenkinson sighed. “Is it not clear?” he asked. Deciding to lead the man to the answer, he asked, “Who did we recently fight?”
“Napoleon.”
“Who else?” asked Jenkinson, impatiently.
“Uhh...the United States.”
“Yes. Now, think about it. You just told me that their country has had a few incidents with the United States, and that as a result, they are distrustful. With some cajoling, and weapons and infrastructure that the British Empire may or may not provide them…”
“They can be made into a regional rival against the United States, and check their power,” finished the other man, seeing the Prime Minister’s plan.
“Precisely. Now, see to the ambassador.”
August 16, 1816
Canterlot, Equestria
“I, Princess Celestia of the Principality of Equestria, speaking on behalf of all of the Royal Council, accept your letters of accreditation and acknowledge you as the resident ambassador of the United States of America. On behalf of all of my subjects, I welcome you to Equestria, and hope that your presence will lead to bright future for both the Principality of Equestria and the United States of America.”
The human facing Princess Celestia inclined his head, as the first accreditation ceremony in Equestria for many years ended. The human diplomat, a man named Clinton Erickson, was a young man. Celestia looked into his eyes, and she saw the unmistakable light of youth in them.
Surprising that they would send such a young man to represent their interests, she mused. I wonder if they consider our nation to be a diplomatic proving grounds. Or if they consider Equestria to be diplomatic backwaters.
Unlike Livingston, the former American diplomat to Griffonia before he died of old age, Erickson definitely lacked much emotional control. Thus, Celestia was able to easily able to interpret the air of aloofness surrounding the man and his elevated gaze. Despite being slightly shorter than the Princesses, he carried himself with the air of one who towered over ones considered inferior.
He does not like us.
Celestia reflected that the human’s disdain for them was not necessarily a bad thing. If he considered them inferior, it would be easier to surprise him and keep him off-guard.
As the trumpets for the ceremony finally fell silent, the human raised his chin slightly - surprising Celestia, for she was certain that he could not look more aloof if he tried - and said “Princess Celestia, if we may now discuss matters of importance?”
Celestia felt a brief flare of irritation at his offhoof matter of address. She decided to let it go this time, but Captain Shining Armor, who was standing as Celestia’s ceremonial guard, interjected, “The proper form of address, Ambassador, is ‘Your Highness.’”
The human turned to him, with his eyebrows forming a narrow line. Before he could speak, however, Celestia seized the moment and said, in an attempt to head off argument, “Thank you, Captain. You are dismissed.”
The Captain stood for a moment, then bowed deeply to Celestia, stiffly (and reluctantly) inclined his head to the human, and walked away. Celestia could have sworn he was muttering under his breath.
The human ambassador turned back to Celestia, and the Solar Princess noticed that he was clenching and unclenching his fists, which the pony, unaware of what the movement meant, took to mean that he was fighting something within himself.
The movement stopped after a brief moment, and the human looked flatly at her. Before he could speak, the Princess again headed him off and said, “I believe you wanted to speak business?”
“Yes.”
“Very well. I will convene the Royal Council.”
“Is that necessary? Can we just simply discuss this, one-to-one?”
Celestia turned around, so the diplomat would not see her grin. “You have much to learn if you think that I can act without the approval of my peers.” With that, she lead the human into Canterlot Castle, cringing as she realized that she had already broken her personal promise to keep humans out of Canterlot.
“You want us to do WHAT?!?!” Twilight half-asked, half-demanded.
The human gave an annoying sigh that Celestia found to be similar to the one a parent gave a foal. “The government of the United States wishes for you to sign a treaty of extraterritoriality with us. It will guarantee the right of American citizens to a...fair...trial by their own peers and species.”
“And what makes you think we will even allow humans in Equestria?” asked Luna, scowling. “I, for one, do not see-”
“Peace, sister,” cut in Celestia. Returning to the human, Celestia raised an eyebrow and asked the human, “Suppose we sign this treaty, and humans start entering our lands. Eventually, one is found guilty of something that is not a crime in your country. Say, for instance, slaveholding.” Celestia spoke the word with as much contempt as possible, as if its very existence was toxic. Which, of course, it was. “What assurance do we have that you country will still punish this human according to our laws? How can we be sure that this human will not be immediately pardoned?”
“The United States would always punish everything that is a crime,” replied the human. Celestia noticed that the statement did not contain a promise that such things would not occur. “Though, while we are on the topic of slaveholding, the United States has a concern.”
“Oh?”
“It has come to our attention that King Odrynn of the Kingdom of Griffonia has infringed upon the property rights of American citizens. In particular, he declared slaves held within the aforementioned Kingdom are entitled to all protections under the law that are afforded to his citizens. We would like your assurance that you will not take such...radical action.”
She was proud when she hesitated only for a split second before saying, “On this matter, King Odrynn has my - well as the rest of the Council’s - complete and utter support. Slavery has long been known to be a foe of the population of Equestria. It is a divisive, barbaric institution that is an enemy of harmony, unity, and the ideas upon which the Principality of Equestria is founded. Slavery has been illegal since the first Hearth’s Warming Day, when the Three Pony Tribes were able to put aside their differences and found the first form of Equestria - the Equestrian Republic. I cannot presume to tell you how to run your country, but know this: Slavery has never, is not, and will never be tolerated in the Principality. The second any sentient creature - be it human or pony - sets foot or hoof upon Equestrian soil, they are no longer a slave until such time they leave our soil. On this matter, the Royal Council is set. Nothing will change our minds, and this not open to any form of debate or compromise. As long as Canterlot stands, so will this directive.” After a moment, Celestia added, “I believe you will find the entire Equestrian population to be of the same opinion.”
The human sat silently for a moment, then shifted slightly. “I urge you to reconsider,” he replied, slowly. “The United States of America do not take kindly to such stances.”
“I am afraid you have our one and only answer.”
“Very well,” replied the human. “I will relay that answer to the United States.”
Celestia internally winced, but steeled herself. This is the one thing I promised myself I would never budge on.
“So be it.”
After a moment, the human asked, “Now, what of our extraterritoriality treaty?”
Celestia, with great effort, held back a grimace. “The Council will consider your request, but we cannot guarantee that we will see the need.”
Princess Luna took this moment to jump in with a bold statement, saying, “And may I add that your implication that our justice system is unfair did not go unnoticed.”
Damn it, Luna. When Luna looked to her sister, she saw Celestia glaring daggers at her.
That was not the time, thought Celestia.
The human, however, chose not to comment on the remark, instead fixing Celestia with that same flat stare. After a moment, he said, “I hope you consider quickly. and realize this is in the best interests of all Americans.”
With that, he got up to take his leave.
Before he could depart from the room, however, Celestia replied, “Perhaps. But is it in the best interests of the ponies of Equestria?”
The human did not reply.
August 18, 1816
Royal Address to the Ponies of Equestria
Canterlot, Equestria
“Fillies and gentlecolts. Rumors of some alien presence within the borders of our fair land of Equestria have been circulating throughout Canterlot and, indeed all of Equestria. As Princess, I have assembled you here to shed some clarity on the rumor.”
“Approximately three months ago, during Hearth’s Warming Eve, my fellow Princesses and myself came into contact with beings previously unknown to Equestria who walk upon two legs. Since then, we have corresponded with two nations of these creatures, known as humans.”
“I urge the ponies of Equestria to extend to these humans every bit of kindness that you extend to your fellow ponies. In time, I am sure that this group will become very good friends with us.”
“That is all. Please, no questions.”
October 21, 1816
Canterlot, Equestria
“Princess!”
“What now?” Celestia asked herself, rhetorically. Out loud, she replied, in a polite enough tone, “Yes, my little pony?”
Unsurprisingly, it was a Royal Guard seeking her attention. “Ma’am, we have observed another large ship off our coasts. It was flying the same flag as the Majesty.”
“Where?”
“Last we saw it, it was heading towards Manehattan.”
“Manehattan.” A somewhat-republican mayor-led township, recalled Celestia. Current mayor is Cherry Joy.
“Inform Mayor Joy that the Royal Council intends to pay her and her township a visit. Also, inform her that she is to keep the ponies and humans separate until we arrive. She is authorized to use as many Guardponies as she needs.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
October 22, 1816
Manehattan, Equestria
The Mayor read the orders given to her by the Guardpony, then looked up at the Guard in question.
“I am authorized to use as many guards as necessary?”
“That is what I was ordered to tell you.”
“Well...very well. Assemble a squad of twenty Guards, then. We’ll need them on standby to keep ponies calm.”
“...Your orders, Mayor, are the ponies and humans from interacting.”
“I know what my orders are,” snapped the mayor. “Do as I say.”
The pony hesitated, then inclined his head slightly. “Very well.”
“Now go. I have a meeting to arrange.”
The ship was rather large, noted the mayor.
The sad thing was, by the standards of the British Empire, it really wasn’t.
She watched as it came closer, slowing down as it approached the shore.
Unlike the Majesty, the seas were calm and thus, the craft was able to avoid an abrupt and personal meeting with the shore.
The ship soon managed to come alongside the Manehattan port. Of course, the port was made for much smaller ships, but they made do.
The was a flurry of activity on the ship, and a plank was extended to the port. As the plank came out, the assigned Guardponies snapped to attention, bringing their spears so that they faced straight upwards, towards the sky.
Two humans, dressed in bright uniforms and armed with those guns, were the first down. They moved to the side, and assumed a stance that appeared to be one of military attention.
Behind them came a single man, dressed in nearly all black. The Mayor saw him as an older man, but not so old that the fire within his eyes dimmed.
“My name is Robert Liston,” said the man, inclining his head. If he was caught off-guard by the Equestrians, he did not show it.
Must have been briefed extensively.
The Mayor became acutely aware of a small crowd of ponies gathering around, examining the human. She signaled, and the Royal Guard began to gently move the crowd back.
“I am Cherry Joy, mayor of the township of Manehattan. I assume you are one of these ‘humans’ we have been hearing so much about?”
“Yes,” replied the human. “I have been sent by the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland to open diplomatic relations. Now, I understand this nation is a principality?”
“Yes, sir. The Princesses are on their way now to meet with you and escort you to Canterlot, the capital. There, I imagine that you will be allowed to establish an embassy or some sort of diplomatic outpost."
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Celestia best find a way to start making firearms. Equestria is going to need them.
6344270 Watch out for smallpox! And once Manifest Destiny hits...
You know, I just realized. It's a shame the ship that found the ponies wasn't the HMS Enterprise. But to be fair, looking up info on the one that existed in that time, it couldn't have been possible. Or even for a subsequent visit since apparently its service ended in August 1816.
Well, there's always the next HMS Enterprise...6344381
Forget smallpox on the ponies, think of what Equestrian diseases could do on humans if they are transferable. Granted, I don't think stuff like the Cutie Pox or Feather Flu would be compatible for obvious reasons, but still... actually, was there any other sort of diseases mentioned in the show? I only remember those two. Although in the end the compatibility or lack of would make the concern moot I guess.
6345086
Thank you! That really means a lot to me, and I hope to not let you down!
Funny. I was reading an AAR one time, and I asked myself: "What if this was written from a more narrative and less gameplay-focused?" And here we are.
6344942
There were a lot of diseases mentioned in the song "Flim Flam Brother Miracle Curative Tonic." Most of them were just ponifed versions of human disease, such as "hay fever," "Clydesdale fur blight," "horsentery," and "bridle bit clef." Of course, I'm skeptical of their information, but yeah...
Nice work, but just a few points:
1) Nobody would have called Robert Jenkinson 'Prime Minister Jenkinson'. The correct title would have been Lord Liverpool, his aristocratic title. Alternate ways of addressing him are 'Your Lordship' or 'Your Honour'.
2) The treaty the US should be signing with Equestria is not a treaty of extradition, but extraterritoriality. Extradition merely means that if a criminal commits a crime in the US and flees to Equestria, the US can ask Equestria to send the criminal back. If a US citizen commits a crime in Equestria, Equestria would still have the right to convict him.
Extraterritoriality, on the other hand, means that a US citizen in Equestria is only subject to US laws. This would mean that if said US citizen committed a crime in Equestria, Equestria has no right to try him and would have to send him back to the US for sentencing (and, as you point out, what is a crime in Equestria might not be considered one in the US). So extraterritoriality is really what the US is looking for here, not extradition. It was a fairly common practice in the 19thC, with Western powers arguing that their citizens shouldn't be required to follow 'uncivilized' laws.
6349231
Fixed. Thanks!
I think having a British Prime Minister saying "Wow" seems kinda out of place.
Anyways, looking good so far.
Hey, quick question Mint20.
Um, since the HMS Majesty seems to be a fictitious vessel (since I can't find any by that name), what type of ship is it suppose to be?