The ponies and changelings slept through the full night and well into the next day. They were all awake by noon, when a steward delivered two stacks of mail. One was full of newspapers and fashion magazines with show reviews. The other contained numerous envelopes from various Canterlot socialites addressed to Rarity. The fashion designer reached for the former first. “Now to see what the reviewers thought!” Because she was hardly well-known enough to be the headliner for the show, Rarity was used to mining a small mention to gauge the impact of a particular show’s impression of her clothing line. As she and the others flipped through the printed articles, they read what snippets they found aloud to one another: “a most creative showing by an up-and-coming designer”; “these new designs are indeed created by a Rarity”, “brilliant use of gemstones to highlight clean lines and patterns”, “well-chosen lighting and well-chosen models”, “looking forward to seeing more of this”.
Finally, Rarity reached for the final magazine, a glossy book with a very colorful cover. “Now this one is the biggest one in Equestrian fashion!” She crowed. “If there is even the tiniest mention of my designs in this, the Canterlot Style Star, I will be amazed.” She opened the magazine and started scanning pages. After a while, she stopped and turned the magazine around to her waiting companions. A full page photograph dominated the opened section. It showed Zinnia in full model pose in a fancier version of the dress she had worn to the reception. Her wings were splayed to full effect and glowing slightly. Her back was turned toward the camera, displaying the full train with its ornate design to great effect but her face was to the camera as she looked over her shoulder with a look of pure ennui. As this was the only dress in which she had donned her natural wings on stage (after a bit of an argument with Rarity right before the show), the effect was stunning. The article next to it was headlined with the phrase “Canterlot Changeling Couture” and four sets of eyes were riveted to the page as they read the article together:
Tonight, the greatest impression was made by Miss Rarity Belle of Ponyville’s Carousel Boutique with her stunning designs and unusual choice of model. This exquisite gown of satin brocade is one of seven displayed over the course of the evening, all on the same model, despite the other dresses being designed with unicorns, pegasi, or earth pony models in mind. It seems that Miss Rarity has found a way to incorporate changelings into her design process as well. Sources say this was an experimental exhibition for the young designer, but I expect that changelings may become the next big thing in the business of modelling. Kudos to this innovative designer!
As they finished with the page, Fluttershy glanced at Rarity. It was obvious to the pegasus that, although Rarity wanted a mention in a prestigious publication, she would have preferred that it be for her designs rather than her choice of model. The jealousy was subtle, but it was there. Eventually, Zinnia noticed as well. The changeling reached out a hoof to the fashion designer.
“Oh Rarity, there is no need to be slighted. After all, they did mention you and your business by name and said that the design of the dress itself is yours. After all,” She winked, “we both know my fashion sense includes tye-dyed clothing. With really eye-popping colors.” She startled Rarity into a laugh. “Now can we have a look at that magazine? Maybe there are other mentions that you missed.”
The group returned to the magazine. Most of the rest was about the major fashion house designers who were headlining the show. There were a few positive tidbits about the choice of lighting that made Glow Wings look quite pleased. Few of the other minor designers received much of a mention; certainly none of them contained a full-page photograph of any of their designs. At last, they turned their attention to the stack of mail. Rarity divided up the letters, as most of them were addressed to her as fan mail or social invitations. Soon enough, Rarity’s green monster was acting up again as numerous notes and invitations turned out to be for Zinnia.
“Rarity, calm down.” Fluttershy whispered to her friend. “Remember, you will have to go back to Ponyville eventually. You would not want to leave all of us behind, would you?”
Rarity shook her head and tried to look pleased at the attention Zinnia had garnered from the socialite and fashion ponies at the show. By the time they had finished sorting, Rarity still had a respectable stack of notes, though paltry compared to Zinnia’s. It appeared that the fashionista had indeed gained some new clients with her showing.
Zinnia turned to Rarity. “Rarity, I know nothing about these ponies. I know even less about being a Canterlot socialite. That reception bored me to tears. Would… would you be willing to teach me how to do this whole… thing? I could use some, er, a lot of coaching.”
Rarity looked surprised and flattered. “I suppose so, darling. After all, I was fortunate enough to have some pony take me under his wing when I got started in the business. I see no reason why I should not help you out.”
Zinnia looked grateful. “Thank you, Rarity. And I hope I will get a chance to model for you again. Some of the other fashion ponies I met…” She shuddered. “Even at your most stressed, you were among the sanest.”
Rarity nodded in understanding. “You have no idea, my dear.”
Fluttershy watched this exchange with rapt attention. Glow Wings did not. She had retreated to a corner with a pair of envelopes and was reading their contents to herself. Judging by the luminosity of her wings, one was from Spotter Light. A flare from her wings akin to that of a flash bulb from a camera distracted the ponies and Zinnia from their discussion.
“What is that, Glowy?” Asked Zinnia. “Is it from your boy toy?”
Glow Wings flushed. “The…the first one was. Boy toy?” The last phrase , combined with an incredulous look at her friend was enough to send them all into shrieks of laughter.
At last, Glow Wings and the others got a hold of themselves. “What…was the other one?” Fluttershy gasped as she tried to regain her breath.
Glow Wings smiled. “It is from Center Stage, the theater owner. Apparently Spotter talked to him, and,” she took a deep breath, “he wants to offer me a job working with the lights. It turns out, he needs someone who can work with the lights for bigger productions and Spotter can not handle everything at once, so…” She shrugged nonchalantly.
Zinnia was on her in an instant, giving her friend a huge hug. “I am so proud of you! We are on our way!”
The rest of the afternoon was spent with Rarity and Zinnia examining the invitations together and discussing which they would accept, Zinnia having asked the society-conscious unicorn to escort her through the twists and turns of the social labyrinth. Rarity had decided to stay a bit longer in Canterlot to help the changeling and drum up more interest in her business. Fluttershy finished her packing; she would be returning to her animals in Ponyville. Glow Wings helped; she and the pegasus worked in companionable silence. When a servant came to escort the group to dinner, The four of them followed eagerly. Princess Celestia was already seated, a couple of her advisers from Day Court also at table. Princess Luna entered the room shortly after the Ponyvillians and changelings had been seated. She took a place near the group and watched curiously as the changelings helped themselves to food.
“I thought you only fed off love?” she blurted out.
The changelings shared a glance and chuckled. “We feed off emotions, your majesty,” Zinnia began, “but we eat pony food too. We do have to appear normal among the rest of you, after all. Besides, this all has a very different flavor to emotions. It is good to have a little ballast; we just need to be sure that we do not eat too much. Pony food can make us too heavy to fly if we overeat. Emotions are nice and ethereal and do not add any weight.” She licked her lips. “And it tastes delicious!”
The princess looked surprised, then changed the subject to what the changelings had found to do in Canterlot. With some prompting from her friends, Glow Wings told the princess of her job offering from the theater. Then Zinnia and Rarity filled the princess in on the changeling’s forays into the social whirl. Luna was pleased to hear that the changelings had found an appropriate place here. It gave her hope for some of the others who were still living in the barracks. She had spent the last week going through petitions with Eclipse, weeding out the most promising and sending out invitations to petitioners to do interviews with the princess about their changeling friends. Nonetheless, there were still many poor souls who had received no word from pony friends or colleagues. Princess Luna was planning on making letter-writing materials available to the changelings still at the barracks when she reached the end of her interviews. That would happen in a few days.
She returned her attention to the discussion at table, which involved the changelings’ favorite foods. “I am rather fond of sweets myself,” Glow Wings was saying. “But it is even better when paired with something very hot and spicy.”
Zinnia made a face. “That is kind of gross, Glowy. When did you last try anything like that?”
Glow Wing smiled at her friend. “That was Trek’s idea. He dared me to eat a cupcake drenched in hot sauce. I think he expected that I would completely panic or something, but it was really tasty.”
Zinnia rolled her eyes. Luna thought about Trek; the changelings’ dim companion seemed very happy to live in the barracks. “Speaking of Trek, do you have any suggestions for something he could do? I am loathe to return him to Flim and Flam after what you two have told me, but he seems happy enough here.”
Zinnia shrugged. “He did not talk to me much, so there is not much I can say.”
Glow Wings looked thoughtful. “He likes to pony watch. He is clumsy when it comes to magic or hoofwork, but he is very good at picking up details and remembering them. He sees everything, even if he never feels right talking about what he sees or figuring out what it all means. If he were partnered with someone who was able to keep up with him and put together the puzzle pieces, he would do okay. It just takes a lot of patience to get used to him. I do not think he would hurt any pony and he is not stupid; it is more like his head is a coin bank. It is really easy to put useful things in, but not so much to get them to come back out again. If you can get past that, he is a good pony to work with.”
Luna thought to herself that she would need to talk about this with her sister. Celestia had more experience dealing with … unique… ponies than Luna herself did, and might be able to offer better suggestions as to how to place Trek. After all, he deserved as much of a chance as any of the other changelings here. As she bid her fellow ponies good night after dinner, Luna returned to her petitions with a thoughtful expression on her face. She penned a note to her sister that night.
Tia,
I have run into a new quandary that you may be able to help with. It seems that one of the changelings that Zinnia and Glow Wings (tonight’s dinner guests) worked with has unusual mental issues. According to Miss Wings, the changeling, who calls himself Trek, is highly observant, but since he is unable to use magic, write or speak, there is little he can do for himself, yet he seems content in the barracks. Can you offer any suggestions on how to proceed?
Lulu.
The next evening, Luna received a reply:
Luna,
Is it possible that Trek has other hidden talents? Maybe you should talk to the other changelings and see what suggestions they may have. Also, one of the day guards for the changelings suggested that along with letter writing supplies, you also offer the changelings art supplies. Apparently, some of them have been annoying the guards at irregular intervals; Cpl. Solid Shield thinks they are bored. (He seems to understand Changeish. You may want to have a word with him).
Tia
Luna glanced up from the note. It was still early in the evening, so it was possible that some of the day guards were still awake. She sent a servant with a note to the guard barracks asking if Cpl. Shield was still awake and if he would be willing to attend to her. Shortly thereafter, the servant returned with the corporal in tow. He did not appear to have been awakened.
“Greetings, your majesty. How may I be of assistance?” the stallion asked warily. Many of the day guards were still wary around the princess of the night, though they at least stayed polite about it.
“I was speaking with my sister recently, and she mentioned a request you had regarding the detained changelings. Is there anything I should know that my night guards would not have picked up?”
The guard stallion shifted his posture nervously. “Well,” he began hesitantly, “Over the past few days, as the number of changelings has gone down, the number of pranks and jokes they have been playing on the guards has gone up. It is mostly little things, like random taps on the door and catching hold of whatever they can reach and other little nuisances like that. To put it simply, Princess Luna, they are getting tired of being stuck in that building with only each other for company and it is showing. They are even getting tired of seeing the same guards coming in to visit over and over again. It is grating on all of us.” He kicked at the tile underhoof.
Luna decided to ease him into the question she wanted answered. “And you think offering them art supplies as well as writing supplies would help?” she asked.
“Well, to put it bluntly, yes.” He answered. “You see, I know most of them can write, but there is at least one fellow there who can not. I have met him several times; he is smart, but just does not think in the same way most ponies do. He reminds me of my youngest son; we despaired of teaching him anything until the colt got a hold of some modelling clay; it was the best thing that could have happened to him and now he is becoming more confident, as if shaping the clay is shaping him too. It could be that since these ponies are not able to express themselves the way you and I can, they must do it in some other way. It seems to me that the best routes for this are art or sports, and there is not much room for sports around the barracks.”
Luna nodded. What Corporal Shield said made sense. She had seen many ponies one might consider a ‘genius’ with a complete excess in talent that was so strong that the pony in question was left very much weakened in other areas. It made for some completely amazing results—and a very lonely genius in the end. She turned to the corporal. “I believe I will take this into consideration. I too have seen that art can be a good outlet for those who are unable to speak for themselves. Thank you for your suggestion.”
The princess smiled at the guard, who sketched a quick bow before departing. The princess added a few more items to a list on her desk. She would ask her sister to send a servant around with the list to shop for supplies in the morning when the shops were open. For now, she returned to the few remaining petitions she had left. Most of them would be easy to deal with. They were for changelings whose pony friends were more distant from Canterlot and so had a greater distance to travel. Fortunately, the hype from the wedding had mostly died down. It only continued on the fringes of Equestria now; the area around Canterlot and most of central Equestria was for the most part tranquil. Now and then there would be a new wave of changeling sightings and the guard would send a patrol to investigate, but those were becoming fewer as well. It seemed that the changeling hunt hysteria was coming to an end, and Princess Luna was glad for it. Still, she had a vague feeling that she was waiting for the last horse shoe to drop.
Do you think you could split up some of these run-on paragraphs? Its hard to read walls of text.
In general, I'm not seeing much in the way of conflict or difficulty for any of the characters. Everything runs on rails. Nobody has any disagreements to speak of, at least not on-stage. There's nothing to worry about, nothing to wonder about... and not much to keep the reader going from chapter to chapter.
Do I sense an allusion to the Salem Witch Trials?
5377899 Um, no. I mean EVERY race, not just Changelings. GOSH! Don't be so racist!
Is Luna waiting to see what she can do with Trek before she tells the Flim Flam brothers to piss off? Cause it kind of seems like she should have done that by now.
this is a fun read
5378213 You mean to tell me that telekinesis and teleportation is considered advanced? All unicorns can do it.
5378219
Telekinesis seems to be a skill that all unicorns know. Likewise mimicry is a skill all Chagelings know. I suppose that normal changelings have telekinesis too, but that would be about it in terms of base, "level 1 spell" magical ability.
Teleporation on the other hand, is in fact advanced. Who have we seen teleport? Twilight, Trixie, Sunset Shimmer, the other princesses; all unicorns who are gifted in magic in one form or another. Not counting magical surges, I don't think that your average joe unicorn would know how to teleport. And from what it seems in this story most of these captured changelings were average joes.
5378297 I actually would disagree on that. Because i'm too tired to go further into it than anything else. My throat hurting doesn't help shit in this. I just don't think it has been mentioned that teleportation is that hard. Nope... it's just assumed here and your assumption is likely not to mirror the writer's reason. In any case it wasn't explained why they can't teleport. Maybe it is because the prison itself forbids it?
5378219
Most unicorns seem able to do levitation, but that falls under "natural abilities". Changelings aren't unicorns, so there's no reason to think levitation would be a common skill. As for teleportation, there's every indication that it's a rare skill. Twilight is the only one we see do it with any frequency, and even then it was implied that it was a new and difficult skill for her. In fact it's implied that she learned it sometime after the pilot.
5378333 There's no reason for racial limitations on downright basic magic. And no it's not racial the fact that unicorns can levitate stuff. It's just really easy to do. Also teleportation might just be inhibited due to prison wards. None of this is mentioned here.
5378339
If this is true then why aren't you arguing that all unicorns should be able to shapeshift? For that matter, pegasi and earth ponies are magic too, so why are you not arguing for there ability to levitate things? Of course there's a racial component to magic, that's been firmly established int he show since day one. Insomuch as there is any "reason" in an assertion of the magical abilities of unicorns vs. bug-ponies, why exactly do you take issue with levitation not being in the basic changeling skillset?
5378364 Because levitation is not able to be cast by unicorns because they are unicorns. Because it's DUMB. I know that each race has different magic. But unicorn specific magic being teleportation? I mean where is it suggested that any creature with a horn is unable to cast levitation past unicorns?
5378379
1) The difference between unicorns and other ponies is that unicorns are able to "cast" magic as opposed to it being inherent within them and their physical abilities. Changelings share this trait of casting magic, shown obviously by their glowing horns. To me it seems the first thing a unicorn learns to do is levitate things, it comes to them like riding a bike, some get it first try, others need practice (Sweetie Belle). I think the same goes for Changelings and transformation.
2) For unicorns, anything past basic telekinesis seems to be considered a specialty. Advanced spells that if you are not naturally talented in, would take considerable practice to learn. Rarity for instance has a spell to find gems within the ground. Nopony else naturally has the ability, because it is tied to her talent. However she is able to teach this skill to Twilight, who's talent is not tied to gems. Twilight was able to learn this, as well as a multitude of other talent specific spells, not because her talent is magic, but because she took the time to learn them. It should be noted that Twilight's talent greatly reduces the learning curve on many spells.
3) Teleportation is shown to be physically demanding on the unicorn casting it. Though short jumps, like Sunset's in EQG are simple, larger ones, such as the one Twilight used to bring her, Rarity, Spike and Rainbow Dash back from the Dragon Migration, require considerable effort, and leave the pony exhausted.
4) For a pony like Rarity, she has no reason to learn a spell such as teleporation. Not only would she need to devote much time to learning it, what real use does a fashion designer have for a spell like that? I'm sure if she spent time learning and studying she, or any other unicorn could learn it, but they have better things do do than learn some obscure spell. For Twilight and Sunset, students of magic, learning spell is what they do and this was one like no other. And while thinking back, I can't remember if Trixie actually did teleport anywhere, I'm sure a magician who's talent is show magic, would no doubt have reason to learn how to teleport.
5) Remember that Changelings and ponies are not just different races, they seem to be completely different species. While they both look similar and achieve similar things, pony magic and Changeling magic must be incredibly different from one another. If any changeling would go out of their way to learn how to teleport they would likely have to try to learn it from the pony spell. Such a feat, if even possible, would no doubt add numerous levels of complexity and time for the aspiring changeling.
So, not to say that teleportaion is beyond a Changeling's abilities, but there is not reason for any average, run of the mill being Changeling to teleport.
*drops mic*
5378541 I'll just tell you this. It is not said here that changelings can't teleport. Sure not all changelings are able to teleport but that's, as you said, not a limitation of race.
You however assume that teleportation is invented by unicorns or that changelings here are unable to teleport because they just don't know. As i said again and again and again... it might just be that prisons have wards against that. You know? Like Harry Potter?
5378584 Re reading the original quote in the story
Makes me think that perhaps you are right. Maybe it is just that Changeling's magic is not as powerful as Unicorn magic ( And I hesitate to say powerful). In the show (I haven't read the comics) we see normal changelings do 2 things magically, transform and attack. Transformation, while theoretically impressive seems to be racially mundane, and attacking is little more than brute force. The only more complicated Changeling magic we see comes from Queen Chrysalis herself in the form of mind control and whatever she did to send Twilight to the crystal cave, saying to me there is some kind of genetic hierarchy.
So yeah, it seems average changeling magic is just is not as not as refined as unicorn magic, so it may just be that teleportation is simply beyond the level of detail capable by changelings. Power has nothing to do with it, think trying to play guitar without fingers.
And the reason I don't think there are wards is the difference between saying "Unable to teleport" and "Unable to teleport out" The latter would imply wards.
5378649 Why would it be only outside? That'd be stupid. Also... you saw one changeling using magic and suddenly you can make assumptions about all of them. Just... no... and if you don't like it tell yourself it's my opinion. Whatever.
5378219
show me one time when somepony did this outside twilight and royalty
5378700 Levitating? NO. Teleportation? Yes.
5378686 I am simply taking what I saw and putting my own interpretation on it, same as you.
Also it's not even that I care about our opinions, or proving you right or wrong I just have studying I should be doing, and this is a welcome diversion.
5378706
Then where was teleportion used ? Because i can't remember any situation.
5378712 I'm just trying to end this argument somehow. If not this would be going on forever and it is tiring.
5378715 Lemme just say what i meant. Levitating is common, teleporting is not.
5378731
oh then i just misunderstood you.
5378715 Barring Discord, we see Sunset Shimmer do it in EQG, so it should be noted that the skill, while I think not strictly limited to the magically gifted, is not one practiced by average ponies.
That being said I'm not sure if the continuity of EQG has been worked out yet, so take it as you will.
5376773 If you think that's not just your opinion, then feel free to prove it. Because I just re-watched the TV episode, and there is absolutely nothing in there which says whether or not "hive" is correct. As far as I can tell, it is just head-canon no matter which side you take.
5378771
sunset was previous celestia student, we can count her as way over averge.
Found story.
Reading,reading,readi-
What?! Last chapter up right now!?
Aaaaaw!
You have a reasonably interesting story here, which is why I read it, but it's also a story with a couple of pretty big problems. The first is as relates to the overall narrative. You've decided to make it so that changelings were very much known prior to the attack, which would be fine in a vacuum, if a bit odd, but you've also decided to have all of the changelings be rounded up and imprisoned. It's a somewhat problematic if reasonable response if changelings just came out of the blue, but they're apparently everywhere, and have their own little cultures in major cities.
As another commenter has mentioned, you've basically created an internment camp, which again, would be fine in a vacuum, but it's troubling in the context of your story. Equestrian internment camps could be a very interesting story concept, but it requires an Equestria played much less as a utopia. As you have it here, everyone is pleasant, helpful, and all around lacking in major conflict. Basically, you set District 9 in the middle of happy rainbow land, and it reads in a really weird way.
Second, you really really really need to use contractions. Seriously. A character speaking without contractions means a character speaking in a highly formal way, or in a manner with high emphasis. Compare, "I can't do that" to, "I can not do that." The former could be in response to anything from someone asking for a pencil to someone asking you to kill someone, while the latter is pretty much just the assassination (or, again, a particularly formal character).
It's a thing fine for characters like Celestia and Luna. At least sometimes. They can afford to sound hyper-formal and larger than life on occasion. However, when you have a character like Pinkie saying stuff like, "It is saying that there is someone in there," or, " I am Pinkie Pie," it just reads wrong. It's possible that there's a deeper issue there too, that the dialogue construction was overly formal in general, but it was honestly difficult to tell through the missing contractions.
5379569 I left a similar comment on an earlier chapter, but I think I was too polite about it. You're absolutely correct; the use of apostrophes is critical to the success of dialogue.
5379569 we were fighting the cognitive dissonance behind the internment camp as well. It's like the princesses were in the bubble and got spooked, and flowed that fright outward to their subjects.
It almost feels like an issue was made from a non issue misunderstanding....
i feel a question must be asked
what about peacable changelings without ponies to speak out for them?
i mean there must have been a few who possibly kept to themselves surviving off the ambient love chrysalis claimed equestria gave off. who well speak for them?
I'm wondering if we're going to find out that one of these changelings is actually a criminal (surely there'd be one), and if so what Luna will do with it.
5382900 Eh, if it was to increase the word count, that's a sorry excuse in my opinion. This is a story, not a friggin' college essay. I do see your point about it being unpolished. I understand your point, but I disagree. This is a story posted for public view in this guy's name, it should be something that the writer feels is done to the best of their ability. Otherwise, it just kind of hurts their reputation.
Of course... I don't actually know whether or not this is done to the theoretical best of his abilities. So...
5377598 <- THIS
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/37540750/_ponies/gilda%20this%20up.PNG
Just a critique: I think this story has one glaring issue in it, little to no conflict. Far too often Luna is presented with a problem, and before it can really be an issue some situation or pony is thrust at her that resolves it. That lacking fundamental makes it hard to get behind anyone, and hope for their success, as generally it feels like a foregone conclusion.
Things are smoothed over far too easily. Heck even in the TV series they have to work for it. It just feels like one plot convenience after another. Nothing feels like it is at stake, so nothing feels like it's important.
Keeping conflict and risk of failure high helps build the overall tension. Just some thoughts for the future.
This is pretty awkwardly written. One can pick out what you mean to say, but it may take a reader a few passes to get at its meaning. Perhaps a little rewrite would be in order:
Princess of the Night
_____________
5379569
The Interment Camp thing I don't have a problem with too a degree. Since to change that would mean changing the fic. But all in all you're right about if they were a major part of the story, and the petitions they build up are a major force behind the fic. A little more response than, Cadance doesn't like Changelings right now so we'll put them in the barracks feels to lack a certain Je Ne Sais Quoi that is needed to really make it have the depth and feelings it can.
Even the abuse of Flim andflam was swept under the rug nad down playe. Adding in Twilight's ready acceptacne, and commradery. Dispite seeing her brother mind raped by Chrysalis, being sent t a mine where she was inches from killing / maiming Cadance who she thought was the Changeling, and all the junk that went into the Invassion.
But since hte fic has finished I doubt that we're going to get any major re-writes in that area.
I do fully agree with the lack of contractions. It kinda hurts to read, and has a large degree of dissonance with the characters speaking in hat manner when in the show they use those, as does a majority of people in the real world when speaking normally.
Star Swirl was a genius and Celestia did say that he didn't understand friendship like Twilight did. Were you specifically implying this case, or was it not on your mind at the time?