Chapter 2
Chapter 2:
As Scootaloo began to regain consciousness, she realized that she was somewhere completely foreign. It was soft, like a bed. How could the bottom of Ghastly Gorge feel like a bed? She slowly opened one eye to try and look at her surroundings. She opened her other eye in disbelief as she realized where she was. She was on a cloud. Well, it was a cloud home at least. Scootaloo looked around in the room. There was a bed, couple of drawers, a mirror, the usual stuff. She looked at the ground; it was cloud. She took the covers off of her and slowly got out of bed.
She took her first step onto a cloud……and it felt amazing. She thought she must have died, because there was no feasible way she could be on a cloud and be alive. So Scootaloo enjoyed the feeling of the cloud and began jumping around.
It was so soft and plush, but surprisingly stable.
After she finished playing around, Scootaloo went outside the door into the hallway. She looked around, and it seemed like nopony was there. Wasn’t there supposed to be somepony waiting for you when you got to Heaven? She walked down the hallway and found a staircase that led to a lower floor. She a balcony near the end of the hall and decided to look outside, and gasped in awe. The clouds looked so different from above and all of the ponies looked like ants. She backed away and headed for the stairs and tried to figure out exactly where she was.
As Scootaloo walked down the stairs, she looked around in amazement. The main room of the house was huge. It seemed to have some couches, a fireplace, a bookshelf, some framed photos and posters, and a few other things. Scootaloo was left speechless, even though there was nopony there to talk to, by the sheer magnitude of the house, but one question slowly filled her mind;
Whose house was this and why was she alone?
Actually, that was two.
But in a few moments, she wished she had never asked.
From outside, Scootaloo heard a whooshing sound, like a pegasus landing. She stood in a mix of intrigue and fear, staring at the door. She heard the hoofsteps getting closer and closer to the door. She felt a trickle of sweat race down from her mane across her face. She waited, and the door opened.
Scootaloo’s eyes widened as she noticed the mare coming through the door. She stepped back in fear, just staring at the blue pegasus with the rainbow mane before her.
Rainbow Dash noticed her and almost immediately dropped the grocery bags she was holding. She just stood there and stared at the orange filly with the purple mane before her. She saw the fear in Scootaloo’s eyes, along with the tears. She took a step forward, and Scootaloo backed away.
“P-Please,” she pleaded with tears in her eyes; “I’m sorry. D-Don’t be angry at me. Oh C-Celestia I’m sorry!” She put her head down and closed her eyes. “I-I-I’m not worth it!” She began to cry loudly. “Please don’t f-feel bad for me! I-I’m n-not even a real p-pegasus!”
At this point, Dash quickly ran over and crushed Scootaloo in a large hug. With tears falling down Rainbow’s face, she tightly hugged the little filly to her chest. Scootaloo began to weep into Rainbow’s stomach, but she didn’t care. Dash took one of her hooves and ran it through Scootaloo’s mane.
“It’s ok, just let it all out. I’m here.”
Tears were now streaming down Rainbow’s face at a constant pace. Using her wings as extra hooves, she wrapped them around the little orange body before her and held her even closer.
They stayed like that for about ten minutes before Scootaloo’s crying began to subside.
Scootaloo looked up into Rainbow’s eyes as Rainbow did the same. Both pegasi faces were covered in tears, but neither really cared at that point.
“You Ok?” Rainbow asked.
“…………No, not really.”
“You wanna talk about it?” Rainbow wasn’t the best at these situations, but she wanted to try.
Scootaloo just pressed her head into Rainbow’s chest and shook her head.
“Alright, but if you do want to talk about it, let me know.” Rainbow took her hoof and put in under Scootaloo’s chin. She raised her head so she was staring at her eye to eye again. “Alright Kiddo?” she asked with a small smile.
“Ok……” she said quietly.
“Good, I just have one question. Is there any way I can get in contact with your family?”
Rainbow immediately knew something was wrong as she saw the filly begin to shake again. Scootaloo was starting to resume her crying and Rainbow was unsure about what she should do. So she stayed as calm as she could.
“You don’t have to tell me now. Its fine, it’s ok. Why don’t I just take you to the bathroom and help you clean up?”
Rainbow led the shaking orange filly to the bathroom. She started a warm bath and waited for the tub to fill up. Then she helped Scootaloo get in and get used to the water.
The water was warm, but not to hot. Scootaloo felt her body immediately feel better as the warm water relaxed her muscles and she began to feel her mind empty. But she didn't fall back onto the side of the tub. She sat in the water, in the center of the tub. She was too entranced in thought to move.
“Do you need my help with anything?” Rainbow asked.
“No…” Scootaloo just stared into the water, almost in a daze.
“Ok, I’ll be outside if you need me.” Rainbow began to walk out of the room and had just put her hoof on the door when Scootaloo spoke up.
“It’s a long story.”
“What?” asked Rainbow in confusion.
“You asked about my family……..it’s a long story.” Scootaloo continued to look into the water.
“I have time,” Rainbow replied as she took a seat on the floor next to the tub. “But only if you want to talk about it.” Dash didn’t want to upset her even more.
“Ok,” Scootaloo began; “I’ll start from the beginning.”
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kind of good i like it
top of my priority to read tomorrow. i glanced over the first chapter and loved what i saw!
few spelling errors, but the plots good
Intrigued. I shall wait and see how this goes. Aside from spelling errors, it's a good start.
Seems like this chapter was better than the last one. Also, when Rainbow and Scoots were crying, you capitalized a word in the middle of a sentence there
Interesting. I love Scootalove, so I can't wait to see how this turns out.
I'm intrigued by it. Seems a little fast paced, like Scoot's instantly breaking down but then agreeing to tell her story in almost a heart beat, but it still works out. I'm curious on how you are going to work out Scootaloo's past, cause that's always the bread and butter of a good Scootalove story.
522039
I was just typing the story and I typed "Save her God Damn it!" Then as I was pre reading, I thought "Thats not right........Celestia maybe?" Didn't work either. So I just went with colt. And I'm using a word document casue Docs is annoying for me. So Pegasus kept saying it was right, so I went with that. I proally will go back and fix that later.
So I guess I'm Pinkiw now: "Pegasus-us-us"
wow! i cried at this. im super sensitive. so
Love it, can't wait for the next chapter!
Now that i've read it I can't get enough! Dash&Scootaloo fics are some of my favorite, and this one is just as great! I didn't fumble at all while reading nor did I read anything that was off at all!
522633
Also, as said in my last commet, you made a few extra words capital that you shouldn't have. The ones I caught:
"I-I’m N-Not even a Real P-Pegasus!” And Tears were now streaming down Rainbow’s face at a Constant pace.
I'd suggest you correct those.
Wonderful... Please continue this story!!
also first comment ever made :3 just got account but always been on this website
522633
What's wrong with Celestia Dammit? Colt Dammit sounds so weird. "Boy Dammit"?
How would oyu get hot water in a CLOUD house? maybe the clouds would suck up the water?
Meh its MLP dont ask questions /facehoof
Good...good.
Yeah. This needs work. You have a very interesting concept, but you're just not tellin it well. The only thing I can recomend is to do a lot of reading. A LOT. And these have to be good stories your reading of course, and think about why they're good.
Actually, I have another suggestion. Put a little more thought into your words. ...but that just come back to being able to recognise what is good story telling. Good narration. Also, yeah, you could do with a little more effort on your editing, but that's a relatively minor thing provided it doesn't impair the ability to understand the story. Still important though. But typos can be overlooked if the story is good.
Alright, I'm enjoying this so far. Not the best thing I've read, but certainly not the worst.
Some minor errors
Should be 'too.'
My main issue with this chapter is Rainbow being dumb. Scootaloo just tried to commit suicide. You don't go out and get groceries! And then she's about to leave Scootaloo alone in the bath.