• Published 19th Dec 2014
  • 5,046 Views, 100 Comments

Through Glass - Titanium Dragon



Rarity helps a beautiful mare pick out the perfect hat in her boutique.

  • ...
8
 100
 5,046

Through Glass

It was the mare’s poise that caught Rarity’s eye. The unicorn stood out even amongst the grand designs of the Carousel Boutique. She belonged here, this mare, in a way no other pony ever could. The thought brought a smile to Rarity’s face even as she pretended not to watch her through the glass in the back of the store.

The mare’s attention seemed to be fixed on the hats she had out on display. All of the hats were marvelous, of course, but not every hat was appropriate for every occasion. One could hardly wear a derby hat around Ponyville every day, after all. Bonnets were an option, of course, but added ten years to the age of any mare under forty; hardly an ideal form of headdress for a beautiful young mare. Berets weren't even worth considering; most ponies here would not appreciate a good beret if they saw one. But then, they did not know silk from toile.

A slouch hat? Rarity watched as the unicorn pulled one down with her magic, looking it over for a moment before setting the hat with the folded brim atop her elegantly coiffed mane. She hesitated, then reached up with one hoof to set it askew. It was beautiful, perfect; any pony with eyes would find them drawn to her.

But Rarity knew the look the pony wore. It was the look of a pony who found precisely what they wanted, but not what they needed right now. That hat was perfect, but there were times when perfection simply wouldn’t do. It was practically a crime for such perfection to go unappreciated, but she knew that it would. After all, a diamond in the rough was nothing more than a sparkle in mud. Reluctantly, the pony lit up her horn, and the hat floated off her head to return to its place alongside the others.

If perfection wouldn’t do, what did she need? Rarity’s eyes wandered over the hats. The cartwheel hats were marvelous, with their splendidly wide brims, but if a slouch hat was too much, a cartwheel hat would be no better. A shako? Now how did that get there? No, that belonged with the costumes, not on the hat rack. What had she been thinking?

The pony turned round, drawing Rarity’s attention back to the glass as the unicorn’s magic tugged another hat onto her head. A sun hat, of course! Perfect! Not too sophisticated for Ponyville, but not so plain as to be unfashionable. Oh, but which one? There were dozens. True, one could not go wrong with a sun hat – well, not with her sun hats – but there were so many to choose from, and only one would be perfect.

The one with amethyst? Rarity’s ears fell as pony returned the hat to the rack; she was quite fond of that one. Or perhaps the wide-brimmed one in yellow? It was beautiful, but clearly, the garden’s worth of flowers was just too much for her.

Rarity watched the mare go through hat after hat. At first, each hat found its way back to the rack, perfect in its place, but soon the mare grew impatient, ripping the hats off the rack and tossing them to the side as they failed to appease her. This one was too plain; this one, too large; this one, too flowery. This one…

Rarity’s eyes lit up as the mare stopped, gazing at herself in the mirror. It seemed she had what she was looking for. The slouch hat had been perfect; this one was less than that, and at the same time so much more so. Sure, that hat was perfect for a Canterlot party where they sipped the finest chardonnay, but this was a hat that could be worn around Ponyville. It was eye-catching, but not gaudy. It would stick in the mind and draw the eye, but not seem like it was trying too hard.

Simple, yet beautiful, it was the perfect hat for Ponyville. It was a good thing she had replaced the flower in the band this morning on impulse; its vibrant petals were flush with color and full of life. And the scent! Oh, she could practically smell it, the sweet hint of fresh flowers it would lend its wearer as a sort of natural perfume. Rarity clapped her hooves together as the mare glanced up at the brim of the hat, then looked over and met Rarity’s gaze through the glass.

“That hat looks simply divine,” Rarity said, smiling as she strolled up, the mare following suit. “But I’m afraid that a hat is nothing without the right attitude. It takes poise. Elegance. Sophistication. And most of all, the ability to seem as if those things are all nothing to you.” Rarity put her hoof on the wall, leaning forward towards the thin barrier that separated them. “And darling, you have all of these things.”

The mare giggled as Rarity joined in as well before the unicorn shook her head.

“But you are trying to impress someone in Ponyville.” Rarity waved her hoof in front of the glass. “No, don’t bother denying it; I saw the look in your eyes. I am certain a mare like you could get the attention of any pony in Canterlot, but if you are seeking the attention of a more… rustic pony, I’m afraid things will have to be a bit different.”

The mare frowned.

“Tut, tut. You know as well as I that proper behavior can easily come off as pretentious to those who are unaccustomed to such things. Or worse still, are accustomed to such behavior from those who give ponies like us a bad name from their pompous behavior. Now…” Rarity turned to the side, glancing at the mirror out of the corner of her eye. “Perhaps something like this?”

Rarity could see the mare imitating her pose, reaching up with her hoof to tug her hat down to nearly hide her eyes.

“No, that’s not quite it. Chin up. No, down a little; that’s too high. Tilt the hat just a little to the left… perfect.”

The mare beamed, her eyes sparkling from under the brim of the hat.

“Yes! Just like that!” Rarity’s smile faded as she hesitated for a moment. “Now… this is the hard part. I know you pick up on social cues better than anypony, but many ponies here struggle with even the most obvious of signals. This means you will have to be a little bit… obvious.”

Even on the other side of the glass, Rarity could hear the mare’s sigh.

“Yes, I know. But if they haven’t noticed you up to this point, I’m afraid the time for subtlety has ended.” Rarity raised her hoof. “I’m not saying that you should simply abandon it, but perhaps exaggerating a teensy bit might help. Laugh a little too loud. Smile a little too long. Let your gaze linger.”

The mare mimed the motions, drawing a loud laugh from Rarity.

“Yes, just like that. Now…” Rarity turned back to face the mare. “Once you’ve caught their attention, you’re going to need to encourage them. Give them a little nudge.”

Rarity stared at the mare for a moment as she shifted around, tilting her head at various angles. After a half-dozen poses with half-lidded eyes, Rarity shook her head.

“No, that will never do. You seem desperate darling. We’re trying for alluring. Perhaps like this?”

Rarity shifted to the side, turning her head and ducking her chin down towards her chest as the mare did the same. Lighting up her horn, Rarity tugged on the mare’s hat, pulling it down just so to half-cover one of her eyes, so she was just barely peeking out from under it.

“Just a little more to the right…”

As the mare turned her head, the light of the sun was caught and reflected; a million motes of light danced across the glass as her eyes shone like diamonds beneath the brim of the hat.

Rarity sucked in her breath. “Oh, my.” Smiling, she sat back and fanned herself with her hoof. “Yes, good, good.”

Rarity glanced away from the mare for a moment, her gaze landing on the vase she kept stocked with flowers for important occasions – and the occasional emergency snack, though a lady never spoke of such things. Blue light enveloped the delicate things, lifting them up and drawing them up to the glass, as if offering them to the mare.

“Now, after all your work, no pony worth their salt could help but to offer you flowers. It may not happen today, darling, so don’t rush things, but if they do, if they do show interest, you must be ready. You must!” Rarity waved her hooves dramatically, then giggled as the other mare did the same, nearly falling over before she returned her hooves to the floor. “Yes, I know it looks silly.”

Rarity stared at the flowers, then looked back to the mare, her expression resolute. “This is important. A lady must be approached, but for a kiss, you must meet them halfway. To simply be kissed is unacceptable. A kiss should mean all that is right in the world, and they should forget all other mares beside you. And there should be no hesitation in their heart; they should know, when they kiss you, that you are ready to be kissed. Now…”

The mare leaned forward until her breath fogged the glass, lips scant inches away from Rarity’s own as she fluttered her eyes sultrily. Rarity’s breath caught as she pressed her snout to the glass, eyes sliding shut as her lips pressed against—

“Rarity, what the hay are you doing?”

Rarity squeaked loudly, jerking her face away from the glass, her cheeks burning. “Applejack! What are you doing here?”

“Uh, came to pick you up for the picnic, remember?” Applejack hefted a wicker basket in one hoof.

“Why didn’t you knock?”

“I did knock. Three times. Ya might have heard me if you weren’t so caught up in… what were you doin’, anyhow?”

“Oh, nothing,” Rarity said, fluffing her mane with her hoof.

Applejack glanced from Rarity back to the mare in the glass, her eyes narrowing before she smirked. “Well I’ll be. Finally found somepony who was up to your standards, huh?”

“Why, whatever do you mean?”

“Oh, I ‘spect you know exactly what I’m sayin’. You were flirtin’ with the prettiest pony in all of Ponyville, weren’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rarity looked away.

“Uh huh.” Applejack’s eyes fell to the floor. “Are those… flowers?”

Rarity’s face was on fire as her horn lit up, grasping the flowers and replacing them in their vase. “Yes. I just thought I would freshen up the boutique. You know how nice they smell.”

“Sure do.” Applejack tapped her chin with her hoof. “But I wonder how they ended up over there.”

“I was just… rearranging things.”

Applejack laughed. “Well, whatever you say, sugar cube.” Her eyes flicked back to the glass. “I can leave y’all alone if you’d like.”

“Oh hush.” Rarity pouted, turning her face away as she crossed her hooves across her chest.

“Aw, I’m just teasin’.”

Rarity blinked as Applejack’s hoof touched her shoulder.

“Don’t worry. It’s kinda cute.”

Rarity coughed loudly. “You said we were late for the picnic?”

“Sure did.” Applejack glanced over towards the door. “You ready?”

Rarity bobbed her head.

“Let’s get goin’ then.” Applejack grabbed the picnic basket in her mouth, taking a few steps towards the door before setting it down. “By the way, nice hat. It looks good on ya.”

Rarity couldn’t stop herself from grinning. “Why, thank you.”

Applejack clicked her tongue, flashing Rarity a wink before she bent down to retrieve the basket.

Turning back to the glass, Rarity lifted a hoof to brush back her mane before returning it to the floor. Bracing herself, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she straightened her shoulders. When her eyes sprung open, the other mare had returned, eyes sparkling with confidence once more.

“You comin’?”

“Of course.” Giving one final glance at herself in the mirror, Rarity lifted her head up high before she trotted out the door.

Author's Note:

Thanks to everyone in the Writeoff Association for their feedback on this story; without their input, this story wouldn't have been the same.

I'd also like to thank Bribri, M1Garand8, and Chrono for helping me go over the revised version of this story before I posted it.

Comments ( 100 )

On first glance I thought this was flowers riding a snowboard, and was confused.

5401393
Freaking snowboarding flowers are the worst!

The worst!

The petals fall off on the slopes, they leave a mess everywhere...

Plus they leave their boards at the bottom of the hill.

At least they smell good.

Very nice. It took me a bit to realize what was going on, but it became much clearer through the lack of reply from the other mare and certain keywords that I've only ever heard Rarity say.

Quite nice, quite nice :moustache:

5401428
I'm glad you liked it! :heart:

It was an idea that I had floating around in my head for a while, but it took until the last writeoff to figure out how to write it.

Plus the idea of Rarity doing this sort of thing before she goes out in a new outfit amuses me terribly. Only the slightest bit narcissistic, noticing her own eyes shining like diamonds...

5401432
You have to admit, there's no one who is better suited for it than that mare! :moustache:

That was perfect, here for you:
i.qkme.me/3qcu1t.jpg
:raritywink:

5401484
Hehe, thank you!

That's a great picture, I'd never seen it before. Apparently I'm behind on my memes.

At first, I was like "Yeah, Rarity selfcest is best Rarity shipping ! I can't see anypony with Rarity other than herself, she's just too perfect !"
And then the RariJack part came up, and I was like "Yeah... Forget what I said. You are still unbeaten !" :raritywink:

5401521
It answers the eternal question of who the perfect mare for Rarity really is. :raritywink:

What a cute & wonderful story! A nice pick-me-up after an awful day...
Thanks! :twilightsmile:

Cute!

"Something-something-giant hat."

5401540
Aw, I'm sorry you had a bad day, but I'm glad I could bring a little bit of brightness to it!

5401544
Giant hats are appropriate for every occasion.

Except for that tree hat Rarity wore once. :trixieshiftright:

5401408 at least bicycling flowers know how to petal. :trollestia:

5401571
A lot time ago, flowers rose to meet new challenges. What happened to those days? :fluttercry:

5401571
5401594
Stop it, you two. The world can only take so many puns.

5401704
But puns are what keep us afloat over the mantle! Everyone takes it for granite, but it is a vital part of continental crust.

5401716
[Insert picture of Maud's unamused face]

5401733
Thank you. Kinda hard to do all that on a phone and all. But I guess I have to read this or something? :rainbowlaugh:

I'll admit that I was a bit slower to catch on, but once I got it the story became highly entertaining.

Although it also seemed kinda melancholy to me, like Rarity created another figure to bounce back her seemingly unrequited love towards AJ, I feel like she has tried to tell her before, but failed perhaps because of the lacking social cues she mentioned earlier. I am probably reading entirely too deeply into this, but I like my theory. :raritywink:

5401812
How could I make such an egregious error? :duck:

5401914
Reading too much into it? Never!

We all know that all of my pieces are so full of depth and subtly the Marianas Trench seems shallow by comparison. :moustache:

Though it is totally the sort of thing I'd do...

Always nice to see how stories improve since the writeoff. :twilightsmile:

5401733
I'd just like to note that, bizarrely, clicking the image name for Maud doesn't toggle her appearance. Every time I click it I get another unamused Maud. I now have a row of seven Maud faces down my screen.

5402332
Glad you felt it was better!

Yeah, I don't know what causes that. Possibly the fact that it is a png instead of a jpg?

Or maybe Maud is just not amused by your attempts to minimize her appearance.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I kinda feel like I preferred the non-dialogue version. This loses the quietness and introspection, though the dialogue is certainly above reproach.

5402367
Yes.

No.

And I'm sorry you feel that it was better before. :fluttershysad:

I think I like it better this way, though; it feels less forced. Though I suppose being totally without dialogue before Applejack shows up would give Applejack's appearance much more punch, it wasn't totally absent prior to that point in its previous incarnation, either. A lot of folks told me that they felt like after the hat scene it was just too much and was belaboring the point.

I think it would be possible to write something like that, but it seems like it would be rather sad. Though maybe that would make it work better? Bad Horse's mirror fic Self Image played on that idea, I think. I did write a sad story about Rarity being alone in her boutique, which may be more along the lines of the kind of story you're thinking about, but maybe I'm totally wrong.

Of course, you could probably write a story like that where who the mare was wasn't a mystery, but it would be a pretty different story, then, I think.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

5402388
Eh, I think it's just a matter of it being a different story now. Still liked it. :)

5402701
Fair enough. Though on the upside, this Rarity is far less likely to cause problems if she falls into the Mirror Pool.

Nice job with this piece. I had a feeling it was Rarity talking to herself in the mirror but the leadup to it was very well executed. You write Rarity so well. I actually got a tingling sensation as I read about her in this, and that only happens when I'm highly absorbed in what I'm doing. Nice shipping tease, too.

I only had a very tiny nitpick about the frequency of her beginning sentences with "Now,". It started to feel too repetitive.

Other than that, very well done. Into the faves it goes. :raritystarry:

"Remember, what you're staring at is me."

5402980
I did some "now" surgery. It is very Rarity, but you're right, there were just too many.

I'm glad you enjoyed it though!

5403113
The best part is how well that song fits, despite me not having it in mind at all while writing the story. The title just was what it had to be, but it is very appropriate. It even uses the word "mannequins" in it.

I feel like I can't appreciate this story as much as I could have if I hadn't read the earlier version. Well, that's my problem. In any case, I love how you've emphasized the relationship advice. It really adds to the piece, especially when the previous central conceit has already been made clear. Great work, TD. Thank you for it.

As an aside, "worth their salt" has some interesting connotations in Equestria.

TD, you got at least a half-dozen critiques in the write-off saying this is good but should be a lot shorter, and you didn't make it shorter. :ajbemused:

5405151
The first thing I did was cut it down to about 1,200 words (note that the hat scene, which a lot of people seemed to like, is about 750 words long). I wasn't very happy with the result; it felt too insubstantial. So I instead went with the advice several folks noted, which was, namely, to give them something else to actually care about in the story. I completely rewrote the middle part of the story so that once folks figured out what was going on there still was something there to care about, rather than oh, Rarity is looking in a mirror, why isn't this story over yet? Especially given that somewhere between a quarter and a third of the readers seemed to figure that out instantly; someone on the ISD Skype, without even reading the story, made a joke about it being a Rarity x Mirror fic.

It did end up about 200 words shorter than the original version, but I completely got rid of about half the original story length and wrote another 900 words to get there. I'm sorry if it wasn't what you were hoping.

5404211

As an aside, "worth their salt" has some interesting connotations in Equestria.

It does! I'm surprised I haven't seen more folks use that phrase.

Yeah, I kind of changed the central idea, but that's probably a good thing given how many folks have noted that they figured out the mirror thing really quickly, and almost everyone had figured out the "trick" long before the reveal in the original version. I'm glad you felt that it was an improvement.

5404729
I was afraid of that. I was considering adding the Applejack tag but I was afraid it would be a bit too much of a spoiler, and the other or OC tag would be a bit dishonest. :trixieshiftright:

Maybe I should add the Applejack tag? Then at least people would come into the story with the idea that the other mare was her, even though it is very quickly obvious that it is not.

I'm glad it was still enjoyable to you, though!

5405284 Ignore my comment, then. I saw the word length was the same and assumed it was the same story without reading it again. Sorry!

That was cute, but I'm going to go ahead and replace AJ with RD in my head. :trollestia:

5405318
Ah, I see. Makes sense.

5405472
Tch. You would. :heart:

Glad you enjoyed it though!

I really do need to get around to writing more stuff. I've been so lazy. :fluttercry:

You know what. I didn't figure it out until the end. Idk how everyone else got it so soon. Although I suppose it's partly because it's late and I'm not exactly thinking straight being tired and other things nagging me. I will say that is by far the most interesting story I've read concerning rarity. I find it funny looking back that rarity is indeed filtering with the pony on the other side of the glass and even goes so far as to kiss the glass. I guess there's no hope for rarity. One other thing I will mention is that I wasn't expecting this story to turn out like this. For some reason I was expecting something totally different, what a wonderful and pleasant surprise.

5407232
Well, I'm glad I managed to fool someone until the end. :raritywink: In all fairness, some of the folks here also have read it before, in a previous state, where it was made much more obvious, though I suspect a lot of folks are looking out for tricks in my writing. I didn't name the mare, so clearly I was playing games with them somehow.

Tricksy dragonses. *hiss*

So don't feel too silly for it; I'm glad it was a pleasant surprise for you! I love writing Rarity; she's a fun character.

Given that you did enjoy this, you might also enjoy my other two stories which are written from Rarity's point of view if you haven't read them yet: Wet and Temptation.

It's beautifully written, however: The gimmick was not subtle enough, I'm afraid; at least not for me. By the third sentence, I was 100% certain, and even the title gave me the suspicion. I think there's a way to do this convincingly, but it's very tricky. Rarity openly thinks and says too many flattering things about the other mare, she doesn't attempt to describe her in any detail apart from direct flattery, and the mare never speaks out loud (even though she could have). I think those three elements give it away. Something like, "Now who is this pony? A mare you don't typically see in Ponyville; the type of pony your shop was truly made for. She must be from Manehattan or Canterlot, by the looks of it: a young cremello pony with a long, dark, and carefully styled mane. She coyly looks up to you as she takes off one hat and tries on another ... you can see she's a unicorn ... etc.", followed by more interaction might help. Again, however, the writing is impeccable (Rarity would have it no other way, I'm certain), and ironically: The same voice that works for it unfortunately works against it as well. Very challenging subject! And well met. :raritystarry:

Also Rarijack is an adorable ship :raritywink:!

5405313
I think you could, and probably should, add it. As it appears in the story currently it's already a dead giveaway so it doesn't make things any more obvious. Mainly I say that because somehow Rarity knows that this socialite-looking mare is interested in a "rustic" pony, which is just a bit too much intuition (perhaps if the other mare spoke up to say she were looking for that reason). It might even be possible to write it so that it looks like Rarity's dopple is actually Applejack!- until the end of the story. AJ is the hat pony, after all: Rarity could describe that it's one of her closest friends and confidants, and the other mare could obviously be looking for something with "rustic appeal". :raritywink:

5409481
Also I apologize for rambling. I'm not trying to offer advice, just thinking about different approaches (which a good story will make one do). :pinkiesmile:

Login or register to comment