I floated over the couch idly flipping through the copy of “Musical Mare Monthly” that I had picked up. I could hear Bon Bon’s hoof tapping impatiently as she waited for Lyra to say something. Lyra on the other hoof was just standing in the doorway looking like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Well, are you going to stand there all night or are you going to tell me whatever it is you think I can’t handle?” Bon Bon’s tapping continues as Lyra stares blankly forward.
“Ummm…I…you see…”
“Come on Lyra, you know you can tell me anything.”
Lyra glances around the room, most likely looking for something to inspire a story to tell to her roommate. Her eyes fall on me and I see a glint of realization form on her face before she turns back to Bon Bon. “I met a boy today!” She declares suddenly.
Bon Bon and I share an expression of surprise, I then burst out laughing, “Ahh, clever girl Lyra, going for a half-truth I see.” She glares me down while Bon Bon stares off into the distance.
Bon Bon’s look of surprise hardens for a second before her face bursts into a grin that would make Pinkie proud. “Well? How did you meet him? What’s he like? What does he look like? You have to tell me EVERTHING!” Bon Bon grabs Lyra and yanks her over to the couch. I float out of the way as Lyra is unceremoniously plopped onto the cushions. Bon Bon takes her seat right next to Lyra, and I couldn’t help but giggle at the fact she looked like a teenage girl who just heard a juicy piece of gossip. Huh, actually I might not be far from the truth with that one there. I wonder how old these two actually are.
“He’s uhh…ummm…He.”
“Oh oh, tell her I’m a dashing rogue who swept you off your hooves and showed you a night on the town you will never forget.” Lyra glares at me for a second before turning back to Bon Bon.
“Well I saw him this morning and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t get him out of my head.”
“Ooo, a love at first sight kind of thing then. Tell me he’s handsome.” Bon Bon interjection causes me to snort.
“Well umm.” Lyra looks me up and down for a few seconds.
“Go on Lyra, tell her how devilishly handsome I am. So handsome in fact that I captured you’re heart as soon as you saw me.” Lyra’s eye twitches in annoyance.
“Well, he has a long brown mane and a scruffy beard.”
I run my hand through my beard, “Well excuse me for not properly grooming myself. It’s not like I purposely decided not to shave the day that I died.”
“Don’t leave me hanging, keep going.” Bon Bon seems to be getting impatient due to the lack of details.
“Well, I guess he’s kind of cute and he’s definitely funny.”
“Woot, I’m cute. Score one for Spooky.” I can see Lyra trying to hold back laughter as I do a little victory dance in midair.
“Sooo, did you two do anything special? Did he ask you out on a date?”
“Ummm, no but we did end up spending the whole day together and we got roped into a Pinkie party. Turns out he really likes board games.”
“Are you going to see him again? Will I get to meet this mysterious stallion of yours?”
“I’m definitely going to see him again but I’m not sure when you will get to meet him.”
“Am I going to have to set up a dinner date between you two?”
“Uhh, no Bon Bon. Don’t worry about it. I don’t think I can actually have a serious relationship with him actually but I think we are going to be good friends.”
I’m still deep in my victory dance but I notice that Bon Bon is deep in thought and when Lyra gets up to head towards the stairs I can see a look of longing on Bon Bon’s face. Hmmm, my keen ghost senses are telling me that little miss Bon Bon might have a crush. I might have to do something about this.
“Goodnight Bon Bon, I’ve had a long day so I’m going to hit the sack.”
I follow Bon Bon upstairs as she heads to bed. She’s definitely thinking about something, she’s going to hurt herself if she chews on her lip any harder.
I float into Lyra’s room to find her flopped on the bed. “So how is my favorite musical unicorn doing?” She merely grunts and rolls over. “Oh don’t be such a Grumpy Gus, you did a great job deflecting Bon Bon’s questions. Of course you could have just told her about me and saved on a difficult conversation later on.” At this she just throws a pillow at me and I giggle as it flies through me and hits the wall.
“Well if you’re going to be that way I’m not going to tuck you into bed then and seeing as we left the books at the library I’m just going to have to borrow a few of these.” I pick up a few of her music books that are lying on the floor and make my way over to the door. “I bid you a good night madam.” I give her an exaggerated bow and nearly drop the books. I was lucky they were thin paper backs or I would have had to have Lyra carry them downstairs for me.
I enjoyed the rest of the night reading through the various music books that I had brought downstairs. I had never really been one to be musically inclined other than singing. I had done quite a few musicals back in college but I had never really played an instrument before. I did find a few of these rather interesting, I wonder if I could learn how to play one of her instruments. It would have to be something that I wouldn’t have to hold or something I could put into a stand. If she could put her Lyre into a stand maybe I could play that or perhaps I could learn how to play that harp she had in the corner of her room. Now there was an idea, I wouldn’t have to hold the harp just pluck the strings. That and I could freak out Vinyl and Octavia when they came over sometime by playing them a creepy tune.
I read until the early morning and I ended up finishing a few of the books I had grabbed. They weren’t that bad of a read actually, they definitely weren’t what I was used to but I’ll take what I can get.
In the pre-morning light I decided to make breakfast for my two new roommates and I wandered into the kitchen. Once there I set about my fiendish plan and set out half a grapefruit, a glass of milk and some buttered toast for each mare.
Phase two of my dastardly plot was well underway by the time I heard hoof steps coming downstairs. Lyra trotted into the kitchen looking like she at least got some sleep last night.
“What’s this?” She asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Why this my dear is what is known as breakfast. You see most ponies believe it is the most important meal of the day. Of course I believe that the most important meal the mid afternoon snack but what do I know.”
Lyra looked at the food laid before almost as if she thought it was suddenly going to reach out and bite her. After a minute or two at staring at her food, she shrugged and then dug in.
I turned my back to her as I finished filling a brown paper bag with a few food stuffs as Bon Bon walked in, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She looks at the table and a smile appears on her face. “Lyra, did you make me breakfast? This is a pleasant surprise; I usually have to make breakfast for you.”
Lyra simply nods as Bon Bon devours the grapefruit and then nibbles on the toast. As they both finish up Bon Bon grabs her apron that is hanging on a hook by the fridge and straps it around her waist. “Thanks for Breakfast Lyra; I’ve got to get to work so I will see you tonight.”
I grab the bag I had packed earlier and float it over to Bon Bon who looks at it with confusion on her face. She lets out a giggle when she sees her name written on the side of the sack lunch with a big heart around it. “Oh Lyra, you didn’t have to make me lunch too. Thank you though.” She grabs the bag in her mouth and trots out the door.
Lyra turns to me as soon as the front door closes. “What the hay was that?”
“That was a daisy and daffodil sandwich, an apple, a can of soda and a note wishing her a wonderful day at work from her little unicorn friend.” I grin at the look of frustration that Lyra adopts and I start washing the dishes.
“You’re something else you know that?”
“No I didn’t know that, thanks for telling me.”
“No I mean it. You pop into my life literally yesterday, won’t leave me alone until I acknowledge that you’re real, take me to Tartarus in a hand basket when I visit Twilight, make me have one of the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had with my roommate and then the next morning you make me breakfast. You are definitely the weirdest… being I have ever met.”
“Why thank you, I love you too.”
“And that’s another thing, you are always saying embarrassing things all of the time. Why do you do that?”
“Well I find it extremely funny for one thing and it keeps things interesting.”
“Uhh, whatever. I’m going to go to the park and play my Lyre for a few hours. Try to at least make a few bits.”
“Alright you have fun with that.” I wave to her as she makes her way out of the kitchen. Man she was adorable when she was frustrated. I can’t wait to see how mad she will get when she finds out I put some little x’s and o’s at the bottom of the note for Bon Bon. She would probably kill me if I wasn’t already dead. Not like I care either way. I was going to have fun with this and it wasn’t my fault that Lyra couldn’t see that Bon Bon had a crush on her. Of course it was probably easier for me to see it being an outside here.
I shrug and turn back to the dishes. I quickly finish them up and make my way up to Lyra’s room where I spend the next few hours plucking away at the harp in her room. I was really glad there was nopony home at the moment because it sounded horrible, if it wasn’t for the “Harps for Dummies” that was laid out on the shelf it would have sounded like I was strangling a cat. Deciding to put my misguided musical endeavors on the side burner I float into the kitchen.
Hmm, I could do some more baking I guess. At least that way I would have a peace offering for Lyra when she finds out about the note. I gather the various ingredients from around the room and with the help of a cookbook I found on top of the cupboards I’m able to produce a pound cake for my new roommates. Of course I won’t know how good a job I did until one of them gets home as I couldn’t taste test it.
After that I went back to reading until Lyra got home. According to her I did a decent job on the pound cake. I pleasantly chatted with Lyra for the next few hours and by that I meant we went back and forth with snappy quips until Bon Bon got home. Surprisingly she didn’t mention anything about the note and had a pleasant conversation about her day with Lyra as they feasted upon my pound cake.
That’s how the next week or so went. I would read during the night going through numerous musical books of Lyra’s and I even snuck some of Bon Bon’s romance stories out of her room to read. I would have gone back to the Library for some different reading material but I was terrified of another Twilight interrogation session.
In the mornings I would make breakfast for the two of them which allowed me to try my hand at some interesting pony cuisine. I was disappointed I would never be able to share the magnificence that is my families meatloaf with them but c'est la vie or in this case c’est la mort. I also made various bag lunches for Bon Bon every day with a little note from Lyra. I kept making the notes a little more…flirty, every day. Bon Bon never mentioned them and I was hoping she would eventually break down and hug tackle Lyra and confess her feelings.
After breakfast I would spend some hours either practicing on the harp or I would explore Ponyville while Bon Bon worked and Lyra played in the park. I still visited Fluttershy and I made sure her late season harvest of squash and pumpkins were alright. I also visited the cake twins for some more impromptu play dates. This also gave me the chance to drop off some of the baked goods I had been experimenting with during the day with Pinkie for her to try. Apparently I make a mean cupcake, who knew?
It was during one of my afternoon baking sessions that something…interesting happened. I had just pulled the pan of freshly baked chocolate chipped muffins out of the oven (loved the fact that I didn’t need oven mitts) when I heard a loud bang from outside the Kitchen window. I looked outside to see a certain gray Pegasus sitting on the ground, holding her head in her hooves while muttering, “muffins?” over and over again. I giggle in amusement and I float a fresh muffin out the open window to her.
Derpy’s eyes momentarily straiten as she stares at the muffin with a look of pure joy plastered on her face. She quickly snatches up the muffin and stuffs in her mouth and with a few chews swallows the pastry. I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that she ate the wrapper. She then salutes me before her eyes cross again, “Thanks for the muffin Mr. Scary Tall Guy.” She then grabs her mailbag that had landed next to her and takes off towards the center of town.
I turn back towards the kitchen to deal with the rest of the muffins, “Well that was awfully nice of her to thank me like that…wait…she thanked me…that means she saw me.” I zip through the wall following after that adorable wall-eyed Pegasus, “DERPY, GET YOUR BUBBLE ADORNED FLANK BACK HERE!”
I zoom around town looking for Derpy but I just couldn’t seem to spot her anywhere. I pass through the park and I see Lyra is playing her Lyre with a small hat in front of her with a bit or two in it. I don’t even ask where she got the hat as I zip in front of her. “LYRA. DERPY. YOU SEEN HER?”
She seems taken aback from the volume of my request but replies anyway, “She just passed by here about two minutes ago. She was probably headed back to the post office.” I salute her as I zoom off, and I have to hold back a chuckle when Lyra blushes as she realizes some passing ponies are staring at her seemingly random outburst.
As I make my way to the post office I catch a glimpse of Derpy exiting the side entrance with a fresh bag of mail.
“DERPY WAIT!”
She turns towards me and waves, “Oh hi Mr. Nice Scary Guy, what can I do for you?”
I float over to her as she flaps idly towards a side street. “Derpy, are you telling me that you can see me?”
“Yeah Mr. Nice Scary Guy, I can see a lot of things that other ponies don’t. I try to tell them about it but they just shake their heads and walk off whenever I talk about it.”
“Uhh, you can just call me Spooky if you want Derpy…Uhh, Derpy is your real name right?”
“Nah, it’s Ditzy but everypony calls me Derpy because of my eyes and all of the accidents I get into.”
“I’m sorry about that Ditzy, nopony should have to put up with that.”
“It’s ok Spooky, I’ve learned to deal with it.” Ditzy then flies directly into a lamppost due to the fact that she was looking at me as we were talking. I sigh and reach down to help her pick up some of the letters that had spilled out of her bag.
“That’s the thing Ditzy, you shouldn’t have had to learn to deal with it. It’s not right to make fun of someone because of things that are out of their control. You’re too nice of a pony to have to put up with that kind of sh…stuff.”
“Thanks Spooky, you’re the first pony to ever take the time to talk with me this long. It’s kind of nice to talk with somepony who doesn’t get frustrated with me.”
“Anytime Ditzy. Listen, I’m certain you have a lot of letters to deliver but if you ever want someone to talk to than feel free to drop by Lyra’s house to see me. I’ll even make you some more muffins. Just make sure to not come over when Bon Bon is home though.”
“Thanks Spooky, I’ll make sure to do that.” Ditzy says as she then runs into the same lamppost again. I roll my eyes as I help her pick up the same letters as before.
Awesome-sauce, I got to make another friend today and this one can even see me without me having to go through the whole ripping my essence apart by the seams thing.
I float back to the house and I’m pleasantly surprised to see that Lyra has made her way home.
“Hay Lyra, I’m back. How was your day in the park?”
“It was fine until you showed up and made me look like a foal in front of everypony.” She calls down from her room.
“Well, you didn’t have to answer me; you could have just pointed me in the right direction.” I float over to the coach and pick up one of the numerous magazines that I had been reading and began to flip through it.
“Whatever…Hay Spooky, did you want to see my costume for Nightmare Night next week?”
“Sure, let’s see what you got.”
I look up from the article on Canterlot’s latest fashion as Lyra comes clomping down the stairs.
I immediately drop the magazine and begin to laugh my ghostly ass off. Standing at the base of the stairs is Lyra, she had a white sheet thrown over herself with two eye holes and one horn hole cut in it.
“Stop laughing, it isn’t funny. Besides, you’re going out with me.” She states as she floats a second sheet over to me.
I look down at the sheet sitting on the coffee table and stare at it for a few seconds. I then look back to the ghostly Lyra, “You, my little pony, are brilliant.”
INB4 i read the chapter
COME ON SPOOKIE GET UP INSIDE SOME OF THOSE MARES
*looks at description*
Fantastic, I finally get to visit my favorite cast of awesome talking ponies to have one small thing keeping me from enjoying it to its fullest.
Me: Eh?
I CAN"T FREAKING INTERACT WITH ANYTHING.
Me: ...
Oh, I love Spooky more and more each chapter. All of those snarky comments are briliiant.
And Derpy huh? Hmm... Well... I guess so? I'm curious what else she "sees".
623084 She sees everything...DUN DUN DUN
623151
Everything, you say? Even... even the fourth wall? But... but that's Pinkie's job!
623160 Derpy just sees the wall. Pinkie breaks it...with a sledgehammer...then lights it on fire.
623166
Touche...
But, if Pinkie can destroy the fourth wall, and Derpy just sees it... imagine what Pinkie sees!
Actually, I don't think I want to know that...
Shit's hitting the fan tonight, sonny-boy.
Looks like someone else agrees with the idea of Mad-Eye Derpy. in "A Dream" by totallynotabrony, she can clearly see out of the back of her head with her eye, and here she can see ghosts.
awesome story so far keep up with the awesome job
Congratz on being featured!
This just keeps getting better by the chapter.
this is pretty alright.
Can't wait to maybe see some interaction between Spooky and celestia and luna. Possibly even Discord when he touches the statue on accident or maybe that won't work at all.
But if you have something planned like that just take you sweet time getting there.
You, sir, have orchestrated a masterpiece, but you need an editor for those little grammar errors
623151 Derpy: I see dead ponies.
Spooky: Okay then.
. . . . . . .
that is all good day sir.
623151 She can even see people clopping
Well, I'm sure as heck announcing this masterpiece on my twitter!
It's a really fun and unique story, and I'm REALLY looking forward to see how things develop from here on out.
Oh god can't wait for the next chapter. This is amazing
Activate the Moarmobile!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_OMG_LOVE.png You sly little devil you...
Genius.
This story just kept me up until 4AM the day of my chemistry final exam, my second hardest class.
I have no regrets.
Bwahahaha
Hmmm yes... goooood...goooood... I like how he is playing with Bon Bon, ya know what I mean?
So good
...Why do I have the sudden urge to listen to the song, Ghosts n' Stuff by Deadmau5?
Very nice! Love it and I can't wait for more.
Please don't tell me you're one of thise guys who thinks Derpy is offensive. Lemme tell you, I am disabled, and I don't find her or that name offensive in the least. I'm more offended by people trying to force this Ditzy name on her, despite her being explicitly named Derpy in the show and by Lauren Faust. And why does this offend me? Because it's people trying to write her off by replacing her real name with something they're more comfortable with. Rather than tolerating who she really is, they try to change her to fit in their comfort zone instead of risk offending anyone by calling her a name that is no more offensive than Derpy. And if you think I'm being overly touchy about this, you try living your whole life with autism and having people treat you the exact. Same. Way.
TL;DR, Derpy does not offend me. The people trying to change her do.
....
By the way, I still love this story. Very unique concept. A breath of fresh air after all the other BiE stories out there.
A ghost in a ghost costume.... I shall call it, Double ghost!
Hmmm, that sucks.
How about, The Ghost has been doubled!
623922
SEE them?
Heck, sometimes she's causing them! She ain't as innocent as she looks! She got that kid from somewhere!
ponibooru.413chan.net/_thumbs/bcdb699c4797505dd53ccd904d07d4a0/thumb.jpg
710814
You and me both brudder
...On the derpy thing, not the disability thing. XÞ
It mostly irritates me because on any other show but this those same people would probably complain about the negative connotations Ditz has taken on since the 90s, where it morphed from meaning Charlotte on Making Fiends (to use an example of a recent person who fits the older definition) to obnoxiously selfish arrogant jerkface, like Usagi on Sailor Moon or DeeDee from Dexter (not to mention the HUNDREDS of 'teen comedy ditzes' who ruin their friends' lives and get away with it because teehee wasn't that silly of me.)
Ditzy if anything is the one that mainstream media has forced to become offensive, Derp has been on one show, the one that created it, and from there it went to people with eyes.
Where does the offensiveness even come in on this equation? It denotes NO mental or emotional characteristics whatsoever, aside from those foibles naturally caused by having ridiculously bad depth perception. (People with strabmisus depending on severity may have it even worse than someone half-blind with only one eye, because our brains aren't set up to process two entirely separate images at the same time like a chameleon.)
623151 By God, Derpy has WIZARD EYES!
You seem to like saying awsome-sauce a lot, what dose it taste like?
Dang that my little pony:friendship is magic ref.... Oh wait...
I Can Just Imagine Derpy Asking For/Eating A Muffin Like That.
:3
Given how comments are handled here, I'm still not sure whether I should break my catch-up commentary up into one message per chapter or give it in one long message on the last chapter it applies to. I'll bunch it all together this time (as I do over on Fanfiction.net) but if anyone who reads this can clarify what the general sentiment is here, I'd appreciate it.
You definitely chose an interesting way to portray a story-starting character death. I wish I was good enough at self-analysis to go into more detail but all I can say is that it's elegant and feels "right" for this story.
Also, great job on BSing the gatekeeper. I'm not sure I've ever seen anything quite like that in any fandom I read. I know I've never seen the "walk away from the light" twist before. :)
In Chapter 3, riské is a misspelling. It's of French origin, so it's spelled risque. (Apparently it's valid with or without the accent on the e, but spell-check dictionaries tend to only accept it without.)
Nice touch with the classical "ghostly cold" causing cloud to condense and "children and animals can sense ghosts" being used to play peekaboo.
I can already tell that Pinkie Pie is going to be a source of much fun in later chapters.
In Chapter 4, I like what you're doing with the cutie mark crusaders and the effects of magic on ghosts. I don't have enough experience with them to put it into words and it's getting close to bedtime, so I'm more at 95% brainpower than 100% and can't attempt to puzzle it out, but keep doing whatever it is you're doing right. :P
My general impression of it is "*grin* The plot thickens! We're really rocketing into the fun now (One of my favourite things is to see characters react to new situations and what can be newer than a human ghost in Equestria?)."
For chapter 5, all I can say is:
*snicker* "my new creepy friend" Oh, Pinky. :)
Unfortunately, it's less satisfying with the cutie mark crusaders in Chapter 6... probably because, with them ghost sleuthing and the main character trying to avoid them, there's less opportunity to show off the nuances of their personalities. It's just stock behaviour.
Also, gotta love a good turn of phrase: "since a still Pinkie Pie is a sign of the coming Apocalypse."
As for the "leap ahead, then flash back to explain how the previous chapter turned out... eventually." technique you use for the second time at the beginning of chapter 7, I can see why you do it, but it's not exactly comfortable for the reader and it reduces my engagement in the stuff prior to the flashback because I'm too caught up in the interrupted events to care properly about the new ones.
The Dreamwalking resulting in an ability to see Spooky was a clever twist but "elaborate prank of Pinkies" should be "elaborate prank of Pinkie's" (otherwise, you're using sloppy English to say that it's an elaborate prank made out of more than one Pinkie Pie.)
I'm honestly not sure what to think of this Lyra since most of my experience with her has been the version used in fics like Anthropology and The Dresden Fillies: False Masks (and referenced in passing in How I learned to stop worrying and love the Changeling) where she's got more of a Mulder-esque "The Humans are out there!" viewpoint.
I have to applaud "I also believe that ghosts can be very annoying.” That one got me... what's a socially-appropriate-for-men name for something half-way between chuckling and a giggling?
...and “Well…This is going to be interesting.” I'm not sure what yet, but definitely the comic understatement of the something.
Also, congrats. A cupcake ghost is such a hilariously Pinkie Pie concept... as is "kept eating all of her wagering materials". Of course, the whole concept of playing board games with a ghost is good for a grin.
Nice note to end on chapter 10. Sort of a ghostly straight man.
I'm a little torn on the Lyra-Spooky interaction in chapter 11. It's not that I dislike it but it doesn't entertain me as much as various other parts... I think it's just not quite my thing somehow but I'm not sure about the fine details of why.
"c'est la mort" was cute though. (Especially since, with me being in the process of learning French, there was no risk that I'd take long enough to make sense of it to ruin the joke.)
Nice touch introducing Derpy/Ditzy as the second character who can see Spooky. The relevance of muffins remind me of Serious Hooves by Dan Shive.
Since the following chapters are already written, I'll withhold my judgment of the ghost costume until I read about what you do with it.
Anyway. This is getting rather long and rambling. Often, when commenting at this level of detail, I'd do a quick restructure to change it from a chronological point-form list into a more article/essay-like flow (which would help to reveal whole-fic trends that I should comment on within various thematic elements) but I'm tired and busy so I guess I'll pass this time and just start a new one for chapters beyond 11. (I did notice one example just from scrolling back through it to check its length though. I'm not sure of the cause, but the earlier chapters felt like they had more potential than the later ones deliver on.)
1255117 Awesome?
I wonder how Celestia and Luna would react to him
2952512 INCOMING SHIT STORM!!!! GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!! <--------- That's what would happen.
2745287 Noooooo.....
2745287probably mostly like Rainbow Dash with a slight dash of me
Huh... I can honestly say I was not expecting that. Derpy can see him.
623040 I know this is an old post but:
See, that's not the way you do it. The way it works is he decides to learn the piano instead of the Lyre and then amazes everyone with his awesome piano playing skills because he has hands and nopony else can play nearly as good because they can't levitate that precisly and they all have hooves. Then it turns out that the piano playing pony from the gala could only play the basics compared to what we can and Pinkie can still play like she did in Castle Mania because she's Pinkie then somehow you get her to be able to see him and then they become the world famous piano playing duo from ponyville except since nopony can see Spooky and Pinkie always has her back to the crowd that it's just Pinkie then she becomes rich and famous and Spooky gets jealous and then they break up the act and Pinkie tries to do it on her own and everypony thinks she has had her 10 seconds of fame and then she gets all sad and asks Spooky to come back but oh no he doesn't then she goes all party of one and let's not forget that she has awesome powers of the 4th wall so she's able to beat the 3/4 princesses and banish them to the frozen wastes so then comes the reign of LORD EMPRESS PINKAMINA PIE OF INSANITY!
But no, it doesn't stop there. In book two, Spooky, seeing the dark side of Pinkie, starts a rebellion! He, along with Lyra, the elements of harmony (maybe minus Twilight) and rebels all across equestria fight for the freedom of Ponydom! Pinkie, who has gone bat-shit crazy, somehow convinces all of the Solor and Lunar guard to fight for her. Spooky, being the human he is, invents guns, artillery, trucks, and ect despite the fact that he only knows the bare minimum on how each works, he has magic in this world. So then, Pinkie uses her Lunar guard's awesome stealth abilities to steal the tech but not before she has lost half the nation to the Rebellion. It's at a stalemate between the 2 sides until this happens. While all this is going on the Princesses have a bit of quality time with Sombra and become completely convinced that he was completely falsified by history when we all know that he is just corrupting them with his dark magic and then they become the 3rd side of the war, taking over the crystal empire once again because the Crystal Heart doesn't work on the princesses,even when they are corrupted, and using the crystal ponies as soldiers after they have been corrupted into thinking that Sombra is God. Then they try to take over Equestria so that Sombra can "rule the world in his righteousness", but they can't because it's a complete war zone over there and they are completely out-teched. And this is taking place over hundreds of years because the princesses are immortal, Sombra can't die any more than he already has, Pinkie goes into the mirror pool and somehow makes smart, younger clones of herself and razes them like she was on the rockfarm but without the sonic rainboom, and Spooky is already dead and eventually takes the head role in the rebellion instead of whoever was head of the rebellion at first, having to go into someone's dreams every so often, so the Sombronian empire has spanned over the north east quarter of the globe, including the Deer's peaceful forest, the far north kingdoms like the Otters and Moose, and the other pony nations like Prance and all that, with Equestria filling the north west. The Saddle Arabians of the middle east have oil and gas and other resources that the Rebellion and Pinkie's kingdom desperately need for their technology. They have given all that they can to the Rebellion in hopes of equestria returning to the way it was before the war, a powerhouse, so Sombra tries to take it over, he was going to anyway, but they give up the most fight because the war hardened Griffons have sent their entire army to help defend their Arabian allies. The Zebra's have donated the majority of their army to the Rebellion, and Pengainia, the queendom of the penguins which has the roles completely reversed, you know with the males taking care of the eggs and ... ya you get it, sympathizes with Pinkamina Pie of Insanity and have used their swimming abilities to try to take water control of Equestria. But they didn't know about the sea ponies, who never show them selves to anyone unless they think they really have to, which they do, and now not only are the fields painted in red, but the oceans are a bloodbath.
You could go from there. If anyone wants to actually use this I'm fine with it, it's not like I can write. I'd appreciate if you messaged me and let me be a pre-reader or something.
I had fun writing that, even if I couldn't actually write the story if I wanted to, which I kinda do now, but been there done that, can't do it.
I tried but I just cant enjoy this story. The plot is meandering and aimless and all the characters are just flat. it's like reading a tour of Ponyville that tells anyone who has seen the show stuff would know already about the characters, all guided by a non interesting author self insert.
Obviously I'm in the minority with all the up votes this fic has but I just cant see why personally.
4158532
did pinkie take over your brain for a couple of minutes? that is a really long post. (and the plot should start with the killing of cupcakes)
4158532 Holy wall-o'-text, Batman!
Although that could be a lot of fun...
623194 She sees You!
Glad to hear it, Spooky!
5740771 cool profile pic