• Member Since 29th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen Jun 21st, 2021

Product49


"Just because your awake doesn't mean you cant dream"

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The story of the ISA War ship, The Dauntless.
After a failed attempt of evacuating the surviving ISA forces off helghan the badly damaged cruiser find's its way to anther word by mistake. The crew and those they manged to save from Helghan, soon find out that they did not make it home after all and now find themselves defending a planet they thought was a lifeless rock against an old enemy helplessly outnumbered. Well the ISA claim to be protecting the ones they found on the new world, Twilight finds out that they may only be using them to protect themselves.

(This is a crossover from the game Killzone by guerrilla games. I do NOT own Killzone or guerrilla games. I do NOT own Hasbro or My Little Pony)
Prior knowledge of the game is not required, but would be helpful. Rated Teen for harsh language and gore.

Chapters (0)
Comments ( 8 )

Make sure you start the beginning of every sentence with a capital letter!
I counted 21 lowercase letters at the beginning of them before I lost it.

i hope you can get more of this out soon. I know it takes time to make these stories but i would hope to read more soon,

5634030 Yo bro, want some advice? Get Gdocs, get this story spellchecked and edited by a good editor, get it added to some groups and make sure the information you use is accurate. The last thing you want is someone telling you that a Staff Sergeant is a higher rank than a Technical Sergeant, same goes for your game lore, check anything you might not know because it never came up in the game, it might be on Wikipedia after all. Do that and this story will be a much more enjoyable and read story.

Fix the parts where it's Dash's PoV, remember to write those as if she has no idea what they are, which means not referring to things as what they're called.

Ch: 1 Ship crashes, Mane 6 witness it.
Ch: 2 ISA deploys patrols, RD watches EXO kick ass.
Ch: 3 Guy gets captured, doesn't attempts to order EXO on his captors, Helgan navy shows up.

Wheres the build up? The drama, the pointing and shaking of spears before a uneasy alliance can be made?

Comment posted by Product49 deleted Nov 20th, 2016