Left in a dustbin
Twilight signed, as she walked down the streets of Ponyville to her bright and warm castle, the Friendship Castle. Celestia had out of the blue called her to a princess summit that afternoon and she didn't even have the chance to tell her friends, who were probably worried sick about her by now.
She passed a alleyway, which had a rather rotten smelling dustbin inside. She wondered why she passed through this alley, but in the end did not care as it was the fastest way to get to her castle by hoof. She summoned a nose peg and levitated it onto her nose, to block out the smell. She would have continued but as the rain began crackling down, a sound was brought with it, a wheezing, crying sound which wasn't normal.
The sound in question was muffled, and very weak but Twilight could hear it. Her ears went in all direction in order to pinpoint where the sound came from, cause if it was a hurt animal, she wasn't gonna leave it alone. Her ears eventually pinpointed her to the dustbin, which caused her to raise a eyebrow in suspicion and concern of what she would find.
She trotted towards the bin, and with a light glow of her magic, she opened the bin. What she saw almost made her fall back from shock, but the gasp still escaped her mouth. Her mouth was on the floor, as she peered into the bin, with tears welling up instantly in her eyes. How could somepony be this cruel towards something this fragile, she did not care to know.
Inside was two foals, two infants to be precise, barely a year old each if she where to guess, and it brought more tears to her eyes. She couldn't tell if they were fillies or colts, or one of each but it was a shocking sight.
One of the foals, a unicorn with a light blue, almost white coat and light blonde mane which reminded Twilight of Applejack's mane, even though it was a true mess. All over the young foal body was cuts and bruises, and he/she clearly had a black eye, with a broken eyelid. And her horn had it's a small bit of it's tip cut off, and it was leaking blood which was surrounding the horn and had dyed it partially red.
The other foal wasn't much better off though, whoever did this to the poor little ones made sure that they would not survive another day, that is if Twilight had not found them.
The other foal was a earth pony at first glance, but then Twilight managed to see a small pink wing coming out of it's side. The foal was a mild pink with a black mane which was scurry much like the other foal. Twilight then took note of the foal's wings, they were poorly undeveloped and it scared her, plus the one she could see had a couple of missing feathers, and the base was covered in cuts, much like the foal's body. But all in all, the pegasus was more better off then the bleeding unicorn.
Either way, Twilight couldn't just leave them here alone, she had to help them no matter what. She decided to use magic to lift them out, in order to lessen the pain that the foals were receiving from the trash they were laying on. When she got them out, she carefully laid the unicorn foal on her back, holding him steadily in her magic to prevent him from falling, and used one hoof to hold the pegasus since it had less injuries.
She slowly, but steadily, began walking towards the hospital since it was the only establishment outfitted to deal with such case. Her heart was hammering in her ears as the blood rushed to her heads; what if she was already to late for them. No she had to believe that she could save them, it was her duty as princess to safe guard her little ponies, and this is what she was going to do; save them.
She didn't dare fly, in case of the unicorn falling off her back, which she didn't want but also because it could hurt the young foal even more. Thus, she walked to the hospital, at the quickest speed possible, which wasn't too quick, but it was necessary for their safety.
She was glad that the hospital wasn't miles away, so she didn't have to worry too badly about the time spent with the foal out of a safe haven. It was a simple 10 minute walk, but for Twilight it was still like she spent an hour walking to the hospital. The unicorn had curled up on her back during the walk, and was now partly covered by Twilight's dark blue-purple mane. But apart from that he was not moving, and it only increased her worry even more.
It was late during the night, so not many nurses or doctors were still around, but one of the nurses, one that she recognized as Redheart was still there. Nurse Redheart, who was working reception at the moment spotted Twilight, holding the young pegasus foal in her hooves She scramble to her feet and rushed to the princess side.
''Princess, why do you have a foal with you? And why does it look beat?'' Redheart asked, as she looked over the young within Twilight's grasp in worry.
''Nurse Redheart, please we do not have time to waste the little ones are badly injured, save them please!'' Twilight pleaded, her vision was getting blurry by this point, because of all the tears she had shed during the walk towards the hospital.
''Them? What do you mean?'' Redheart asked, at Twilight motion to look behind her she craned her neck to look behind Twilight, and what she saw tore a gasp out of her. On Twilight's back was another foal this one a unicorn by the look of it, and it saddened her further at the state the pour dear was in.
''Okay Twilight follow me! I'll lead towards the maternity ward.'' With that Redheart started leading Twilight towards the maternity ward as fast the foal could tolerate in their state.
Twilight nodded, and followed Redheart down the corridor and into one of the empty rooms, it was the maternity ward. She was relieved when she finally reached it, and let out a sigh to express it. Now she just had to wait for Redheart instruction on what to do next.
''Put them gently in the maternity crib.'' said Redheart softly as to not agitate the foals with her voice.
Twilight nodded again, and with care she put the two foals into the crib so that Redheart could check them over. Redheart did so, and did a check on weight and length, which were both very low, with it being worse for the unicorn foal.
''Well, Twilight. They're both fillies, but they are pretty severely underweight with it being worse for the unicorn foal and I happened to notice that the pegasus foal's wings are undeveloped, have you heard of a wing surgery which can sort that out?'' Redheart once she came back to Twilight, all of this in quick succession since she knew that Twilight could understand her.
''No, but if you could I wouldn't want her to live without her abillity to fly.'' Twilight said as she looked over the little pegasus foal once more.
''Well, we need the parent's consent but since their probably orphans, I'll have to be forced to use your status to get them through the surgery. Lastly, the unicorn foal clearly has a cut horn but that is a pretty easy fix, it will heal itself as long as a bandage is put around it.''
''I see.'' said Twilight, staring down at the foals. Tears were welling up in her eyes once again, and she started crying now that she knew the extent of the damage done on them. ''Are, are they siblings?'' Twilight asked, her voice almost breaking in the process.
''Probably. Twilight, I am going have to keep them here, to run tests on them as the pegasus foal's eyesight is worrying me! She appears blind and I have noticed something about the unicorn foal, unlike her sister she isn't crying, despite looking like she is.''
''I see.'' Twilight replied in a heart broken tone.
''Twilight, I have to ask you one more thing. What are you gonna do about them?'' Redheart hoped that Twilight would know what to do about them, since her only other option was to put them in a orphanage, and it would not do any good for them since they needed love more than ever by this point.
''Well, there so young that I don't want to put them in a orphanage, I probably gonna adopt them.''
Redheart let a sigh of relief at this point, she looked up at Twilight with relief in her eyes ''Well alright, but I would like for them to have names just so the other doctors won't name them 'Mary Sue'?'' Redheart asked, ''and they don't seems to have anything on to identify them by so would you like to name them, seeing as you are the one to have found them?''
Twilight looked over the foals, and then found the names that would suit them from her point of view. ''Sure, well the unicorn.... she's like an aura....Yea, her name will be Aura. Whilst her sister's name can be....she's dazzling, isn't she? Yea, Dazzle will be her name.''
''Thank you, now it's late, and I would suppose you want to go home?'' Redheart asked as Twilight gave them their names.
''No, if it's not too much I would like to stay here and watch over them.'' Twilight said though it was more a statement.
''Very well! I won't argue against you, considering you are going to be their mother and all. So then, I bid you good night princess.'' Redheart said as she left the maternity ward to go search for a doctor for the little ones.
''Thanks you too, 'night.'' Twilight said before Redheart left.
With that, Twilight decided to go sit in the corner of the ward, ready to be there for the little ones. Minutes passed by and sleep overcame her as she felt asleep, still sitting in the corner.
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Really like the story, when will the next chapter be out?
Not a bad start will track and vote later. don't trust spell check
the pegasus was more better off [more better]???
she summons some milk for the two [summoned]
''Thanks you too, 'night.'' [Thank]
You want to see a broken eyelid?
i.imgur.com/hPSux54.png?1
You don't know broken eyelid until you've used Garry's Mod or the Source Filmmaker, son.
Also: this wasn't exactly A-grade literature, you need to work on your grammar and spelling. I suggest getting a proofreader.
Looks good so far.
But I think Twilights decision to adopt them is a bit quick. The first chapter should about how Twilight find them and takes them to the Hospital where they get treated. And then in the second chapter Twilight decides to adopt them.
That's my opinion.
I really like this story so far hope to read more soon
Good story but I can't favorite it for some reasons. One; some grammar errors, not much but just enough for me to mentally edit it in some cases. Two; the lack of emotions throughout the whole chapter is off putting in someway, Twilight found two foals in a dustbin, which were severely beat up. I'm sorry but if I was Twilight I would be panicking a lot. That is all I have to say for now.
But if you'd like I could help in the edit of your chapter, and future chapters.
5359392 You could help if you want....but I'm not that good with getting people to help me...Plus, I'm not fully sure about emotions which is probably why many of my works are rushed....
5359684 No problem I can help with that. With your permission I will start doing revision on the first chapter?
slow down!!
nice story but really, slow down.
Besides some grammatical problems, this is very heartwarming.
5359712 If you want...
aw, no earth pony.
5361834 Well, the twins will be making friends with Pound, Pumpkin and Cream Puff and Skyla, so we have all 4 actually.
Aww this is so sad. But a nice story.
I've always loved stories about adoption. I will make this my next new favourite.
I don't want to come off as insulting or anything...
But next time, don't use "Unloaded Source Engine Texture Placeholder" as your palette of choice when designing an OC.
cdn.akamai.steamstatic.com/steamcommunity/public/images/items/4000/5182552889af62a2ae66b8c79cd41d1ff66b03ad.jpg
The colours clash and are frankly painful to look at. Perhaps you could at least desaturate the pink a tad, and brighten the black to a more grey shade.
5366043 ...Um I use bases and paint to design my characters....
5366084 Oh, I think you misunderstood. What I meant is that the colours you chose for the pink OC don't go together very well. Pink and black contrast each other heavily, especially when the pink is as saturated as it is here.
A palette, if you didn't know, is a word used to describe the set of colours you use for a picture or something similar. I called yours "Unloaded Source Engine Texture Placeholder" due to the fact that the pink and black used are very similar to the ones found on the pink and black checkerboard pattern I linked. That pattern appears in Source Engine games when the engine fails to load a texture.
If you want to keep the colours, I'd recommend desaturating the pink a bit, to make it less "glowing" so to say. I'd also recommend making the black more of a dark grey.
5366856 I like using them colors, I used pink because of Aura's eye color...just to make them look more like lets say sisters...And black, because then I could give her rather cute pigtails when she grows up and have them look natural...
i.imgur.com/ZApMs3Q.png
i.imgur.com/EEgfDOY.jpg
Not.. bad so far. There's a great amount of grammatical errors and I feel like the story needs a lot of proofreading.
Also I completely agree with Dementia Ravenmane (Love the name) The pink foals colors are very veeery soar to the eye. I feel if you brighten the colors a lil, It'll be just fine.
Altho.. they really don't look like siblings to me ouo;;
Also I'd look up how much damage a small child can take, cause if a baby is underweight, beaten nearly to death, 'broken.. lid'?, and thrown into a dumpster..
They'd probably be dead. (But I suppose Twilight could have shown up before anything bad happened?)
You're a fucking nurse, you should now this
Because orphanages are so evil
5373863
I agree with this. Although this seems to have a well thought out storyline, there are some errors. It's just constructive criticism.
I would say she is not old enough to speak like that, but it is nothing important.
It is the first time that I look at something like this, but you probably have written it to often.
I can´t say much more, but I liked it.