1: What is it?!?!
1: What is it?!?!
It was the beautiful day the sun was shining brightly, a gray mare with a purple and white mane & tail, eyes of crimson red, and fangs. Her face was one of despair. Her newborn foal had been happy and giddy for attention. She had a coat of dark lavender as well as dark lavender wings and a mane of navy with purple and rose highlights. She levitated the foal out from beneath the blankets as it shivered in the frigid winter air and embraced it for the final time. She reluctantly lowered it into the dark wicker basket filled with rich velvet. The mare crept towards a high balcony of Canterlot Castle with glimmering lights and booming laughter; the hearty peals of a contented household.
She placed the basket on the balcony ever so gently and galloped away into the night. She halted abruptly about a hundred feet away and returned, gliding back with soft wing beats like those of an owl. She leaned over the now whimpering foal, compassion in her silted eyes. "Remember my little filly, your name is Ruby Sparkle. I don’t trust that two-faced tyrant any more than a Diamond Dog.” Her horn began glowing a deep gray.
“You will repeat your life cycle as often as needed and appear as a common pony until your time comes to be The Princess of The Vamponies.” Her horn faded to its gray color as a tear leaked down her face. The filly’s eyes and fangs changed to that on a normal pony’s as she stirred in her sleep.
“My sweet, I love you and always will. Remember me as I will forever know the wonder that lights your face when I teach you something new, the soft touch of your down, the—” The mare couldn’t continue.
“Stay safe,” she choked out and kissed the filly on the forehead just below her horn. She knocked thrice on the wooden door and unfurled her wings. She soared away, flew to battle with a hole in her heart and less mana than she knew to fight for her daughter left in the custody of strangers. But what choice did she have? She knew that that Terra would have killed Ruby on the spot for having such power and even for the great amount of vampony magic she had within her. But the filly would remember. She knew that Ruby would remember, but she wouldn’t get to see her real mother ever again, she just had to.
“Well, you could be at the door, at this hour?” said a famine voice from behind the balcony door. “Why would someone leave their child? Why me?" The mare fussed, lifting the sleeping foal out of the basket.
“Tia!!!! Come look at this!!”
“Luna, what is it?” asked Princess Celestia as she ran into the room, than she spotted the filly in the basket. “Lulu where did that filly come from? Why is it on the balcony?”
“I... I don’t know. But should I take it in, Tia? I mean, it could’ve been foalnapped.” Princess Luna replied in the utmost concern for the foal. But you could tell she wanted to adopt the poor filly.
Celestia noticed her sister’s expression of longing toward the little filly. “Luna, I think you should. If not you, then who else? And you know that you’ve been wanting a daughter for a long time…” Celestia passed the foal to Luna, who caught her in a dark blue aura. The filly finally awoke and curiously examined her surroundings. A lock of navy crimson mane caught her eye and promptly tugged on it with her miniature hooves. An expression of amused pain crossed the filly’s face.
Luna rocked the filly back and forth in a swaying motion, humming as she did so. Luna turned to her sister. “Tia…”
She smiled in return. “I think the same thing.”
An orange filly walked over. “What’s going on?”
“Sunset, meet your new cousin.” Luna said in her soft, yet song-like voice, levitating the filly closer to Sunset Shimmer.
Sunset’s green eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “Whoa! Where’d she come from? What’s her name?”
The sisters shared a glance. “How about you help us come up with one for her?” Celestia suggested.
“Well,” Sunset began scratching her neck with a hoof. “Her eyes are sparkly so Sparkle should be part of her name, and they’re red like the shade of sparkling rubies. I think her name should be Ruby Sparkle.”
------
As the filly grew, she grew quite slowly. She learned about Alicorn Magic, flying, and many other types of magic. She would every once in a while join her mother; Princess Luna, on her royal duties. Learning about how a princess really was, Ruby and her cousin Sunset would have a lot of fun, and would get into trouble for time to time.
Though this tactic seemed to confuse some. For when other foals saw Ruby, they picked on her just for being Princess Luna’s daughter calling her a spoiled brat, a freak, along with other cruel names. Luna would find Ruby crying her little heart out, form all of the sadness that the mean foals caused her to feel. When she was five, she seemed to look five but the strange part was she already had her cutie mark. Most five year old fillies and colts never get their cutie mark until they are either ten or in their teens. But by the time she turned ten most of those confused were gone. But when she turned ten, she started to grow like a normal pony.
She learned more and more, soon enough a person student of her own mother and learn under her care. Luckily, Princess Luna has yet to find her in the disguise she is in.
Throughout the years, Ruby Sparkle had figured out a spell to lower the dark spell that had been cast upon her and put the spell back so her true appearance couldn’t be discovered. She had found her true cutie mark was that of a magenta star with five bright stars surrounding it, with a bit of red here or there. Along with the dark blue mane with the purple streak. She also found her true coat was that of a dark lavender, and in her mouth, fangs that were meant for biting things, like ponies.
As she found out her true appearances, she started remembering her mother, and how she disappeared. Soon, she remembered her true name. Sunset shimmer had given Ruby her name, but another voice had called her that as well.
‘Ruby Sparkle’ she thought to herself over the years. She dreamed of seeing her real mother again. To be able to be held by somepony who was like her, a vampony. She was Princess of the vamponies, and nopony absolutely nopony would change that.
But, by what she had learned, most alicorns with parents are mortal and do not live over the amount of one hundred years. Even her family found it strange to see a mortal alicorn live over one hundred. But they had always known Ruby as their family. This made her the most curious, but her wisdom told her that she should not ask the lavender alicorn about how that was possible.
‘She probably doesn’t know anyway,’ Celestia, Luna and Sunset always thought. Though it still seemed strange, so they let it pass.
‘So why have I lived over nine hundred years’ Ruby had always thought to herself. The years had always felt so lonely without her true mother. ‘However, if I was truly mortal I would never be able to find my mother.’ This made her grin wickedly.
Ruby Sparkle – Age: 21
‘Why did I get this job again? Why couldn’t Sunset?’ Ruby thought. ‘This must be the worst job ever.’
She had been sent to Ponyville to supervise the preparations of the Summer Sun Celebration. She had a list ready to check everything off that was done. She stepped one foot off of the carriage and there was a pink, earth pony standing straight in front of her.
“Uh... hi?” Ruby asked nervously.
The pink pony just took a deep breath of surprise and darted off like a bullet.
“Well that was... interesting,” Ruby said trying to think of the right word. She was a bit amused at the reaction of the earth pony. With that, she checked her list to see what was first to check on.
“Okay, first the food. There is apparently a mare named Applejack making the food at a place called Sweet Apple Acres.” Ruby said as she walked in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.
After about a five minute walk, Ruby reached Sweet Apple Acres. It wasn’t too long before she heard a mare bucking an apple tree. As she walked up to the mare, she stopped in her tracks. The mare had and orange coat with a blonde mane and tail, ironically put into a pony-tail, probably so they don’t get in the way of her work.
“Good afternoon. My name is Ruby Sparkle and I...” she was cut off by the shaking of her hoof.
“Howdy! Ah pleasure making yer acquaintance. I’m Applejack. We here at Sweet Apple Acres do like making friends” the tan mare said. This caught Ruby completely off guard.
“I am not entirely sure I would be such a great fr...” once again Ruby was cut off.
“Nonsense. Now, what can I do ya for?” Applejack asked.
“I am simply here to supervise the preparations of the Summer Sun Celebration. You are in charge of the food, correct?” Ruby asked, as she had to maintain a good image until she was with her mother, but she would never know her really mother.
“We sure as sugar are! Would ya like a sample?” Applejack replied enthusiastically.
“I am actually a bit busy at the moment. You know, trying to get all the preparations ready in time. I am terribly sorry.” She started to walk off but to look back at a sad earth pony. So she forced a smile and called back, “I’ll see you at the Celebration, though!”
Applejack perked her ears and gave a happy smile back then nodded in approval. She then returned to her duties.
As Ruby walked, she pulled out her check list and read it aloud. “So... there is supposed to be a pegasus named Rainbow Dash clearing the sky.”
She put her list back in the saddle bag and sighed. ‘This is going to be a long day.’
As she was walking, she looked up to the sky. It was full of clouds that dotted the sky. Ruby thought the only thing that was on her mind, ‘She is so not doing a good job.’
Next thing she knew, she was rammed by a pegasus. She guessed it was Rainbow Dash, due to the rainbow mane and her speed.
“Let me guess,” Ruby said catching the pegasus’ attention, “You’re Rainbow Dash.”
“The one and only.” she said in an overly confident voice. “Why? You heard of me?”
“I heard you are supposed to be clearing the clouds!” she snapped in a somewhat aggressive tone, making the cyan pegasus cower. Realizing what she did, she quickly apologized to maintain that goody-good image. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
Rainbow Dash perked up and accepted the apology with a simple nod. “It’s okay. I get like that sometimes, too! Anyway, I can clear the clouds, easy. I can do it in ten. Seconds. Flat!”
Ruby desperately wanted proof. She gave a daring glare that could even dare a mountain to move. “Prove it.”
“Fine.” Rainbow Dash said. That was just before she took off at high speeds and bucked all the clouds out of the sky. She landed in front of Ruby, panting heavily. Ruby’s mouth was gaping in amazement.
‘Well this day is interesting, alright.’ Ruby thought.
“See... *pant*... told ya.” Rainbow Dash said regaining her breath. She looked at Ruby Sparkle and started to outbreak in a laughing fit. “You’re a laugh... what’s your name again?”
“Ruby Sparkle,” She said and soon added, “And you wouldn’t want to be my friend. Trust me.”
“Why?” Rainbow Dash pressed for answers, with raised eyebrows.
‘Everypony wants friends. Why wouldn’t she?’ Rainbow thought.
“You... you don’t want to know.” Ruby said sadly. She wished she could have told her, but she knew how dangerous it was until she was with her mother. Then, it would be safe.
Rainbow gave her a curious look as Ruby walked off into her next area.
Ruby pulled out her check list, “Okay, so, I need to go to the Carousel Boutique. To see a unicorn named Rarity, and check her progress.”
After about a ten minute trot, she finally caught sight of the Carousel Boutique. She went into a light gallop since she wanted to get to where she will be staying and wait for the night. She was soon in the Carousel Boutique.
“Hello? Is there a Miss Rarity here?” Ruby called. The room was empty, then a white unicorn head with violet mane poked out of a door way.
“Oh! Hello! I’m Rarity. Who might you be?” Rarity asked as she came all the way out of the room she was in.
“I am Ruby Sparkle, and I am here to supervise the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration.” Ruby spat it out fast so she couldn’t be interrupted. Again.
‘If I have to say that sentence one more time, I’ll... I’ll...’ Ruby’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the unicorn’s voice.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. The Ruby Sparkle! Princess Luna’s daughter amd student, in my boutique!” She was about to faint, so Ruby snapped her out of it before she could.
“Okay, okay. So, how are you doing in progress for the Summer Sun Celebration?” Ruby Sparkle asked.
“It is going very well. I have nearly everything done. I just have to do a few touch-ups and I will be finished.” Rarity said with great enthusiasm.
“Very well. I will leave you to do the last touch-ups needed.” She was about to walk out but she stopped and said, “Thank you for your services.” Rarity’s face beamed with happiness as Ruby walked out.
Ruby took out her check list to see that she was on her very last thing needed. “Music. A pegasus named, Fluttershy is handling this topic. This should be easy.” she said, soon to hear the tunes of music made by the chorus of birds. She peeked through the bushes to see a yellow pegasus with a mane and tail of baby pink. She walked up to the chorus.
“Hello.” she greeted, startling the pegasus and the birds. Most of the birds flew to another tree. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you or your birds. I am simply here to check up on the music. It sounds beautiful. I believe your name is Fluttershy. Am I right?”
She seemed timid at Ruby’s presence and all she did was give a slight whimper. The birds soon were back in their respective places on the tree.
“I can see your birds are back, so I will just be on my way.” Ruby said with a nervous grin.
The yellow pegasus finally peeked out from under her mane and for the first time she said, “Wait.” Her voice was soft and shy just like her name and personality.
“Yes?” Ruby asked, shocked as she finally got something out of her. But she didn’t show any shock, but she showed happiness.
“My name is Fluttershy.” Fluttershy said, although she spoke the last part of her name so quietly that it was almost inaudible.
“Nice to meet you. But I must be going. I need some rest if I am going to be awake at the Summer Sun Celebration.” Ruby said. Fluttershy nodded in approval.
“Thank you for your help with this, Fluttershy.” Ruby said and got a smile back for Fluttershy.
‘Ugh... all this trying to be normal pony stuff is exhausting. Why do ponies have to be so perfect?’ Ruby thought as she entered the place she will be staying. Which was, luckily, a library.
For some reason, it was pitch black inside. “Where are the lights?” Before she even found them the lights flicked on and she was surrounded by a hoard of ponies. The pink earth pony, which she remembered from first getting to Ponyville, was the first to speak.
“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie. I threw this party just for you! Were you surprised? Huh, huh, huh!” She seemed like a hyperactive pony that was overly excited.
“Very surprised...” Ruby made her face look exhausted in order to get away and get some sleep. Pretending to be a normal pony and work out the preparations is very tiring. Not to mention the fact you have to hide who you truly are.
“When I saw you, I didn’t know who you were. Which meant you were new! Because I know everypony in Ponyville. I mean EVERYPONY.” Then she saw Ruby’s expression. “Wait, are you tired?”
“Actually, I am a bit. The party is great and I love it. But from all that I have done today, it takes it out of you. You know what I mean?” Ruby said trying to not crush this Pinkie Pie’s feelings.
“I understand. You were in the hot sun trotting around all day. I makes since for you to be so tired.” Pinkie Pie said cheerfully but you could tell she was a bit sad by what Ruby just said.
“Thank you. You can stay here and party as long as you like. Just not too loud so I can get some sleep.” Ruby said to boost her spirits. Which it did.
Pinkie perked up and ran back to tell everypony about what’s going on. Ruby trotted up the stair and hopped onto the soft cushion of the bed.
‘What was it with these ponies perking up after they were sad, tired, or even timid? It’s just weird.’ Ruby thought.
She watched the clock, waiting for the time of the Summer Sun Celebration. Most of the time, she wish would be with her true mother once again. She stared out the window and at the moon. She was ready to see the sky in total darkness. It was her favorite time of day. Not only because she was a child of night, but because she saw the beauty in it did that others not. The way the stars gleamed, the way her adopted mother’s moon glowed in the night.
"Hey Ruby! Time to watch the sun rise!" Rainbow Dash's voice called from down stairs. Ruby grinned. She would finally be able to show her true self.
---
From the library to the tent, it was a very short walk. Probably about a minute or two.
"Are you excited? Because I'm excited. But maybe not as excited as when I first saw you but really who can top that." Pinkie Pie finally finished her babbling.
"Ladies and Gentlecolts, it is my great pleasure to host this year’s Summer Sun Celebration." the Mayor of Ponyville began.
Everypony cheered with excitement. "Now let me bring out the great, the wise, the bringers of the sun and the moon each and every day, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!" Rarity pulled back the curtains and the princesses walked out each with a smile on their faces.
Ruby watched the moon instead of Celestia and Luna as she walked out onto the terrace. The moon’s color began to turn blood red, than deepened to Crimson just like her eyes.
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3edgey5me
I'm sorry, but what do you mean?
This part at the beginning is completely unnecessary.
Lost my interest in this story from the very first line. Your wording could've been done much better and the use of a symbol really makes your story look lazy. If anything, the first line of a chapter, let alone the entire story, is meant to captivate the reader. Describing a character, even the main character, is not a good way to go about this.
One way to fix the wording of the sentence would be to write something like "It was a beautiful day as the sun shone brightly , a gray mare looking out onto the day, purple and white streaking through both her mane and tail as her eyes shone a brilliant crimson. Barely a glint of a fang could be seen edging over her lips."
Yes I made that two sentences but meh.
Last thing I gotta say, because I'm too tired to read past the first two sentences, would be you should've started with and extended the second sentence.
E.g. "Despair was written across the face of the gray mare, purple and white streaking through both her mane and tail as her eyes shone a brilliant crimson. She looked out onto the beautiful, bright day, the sun shining brightly as barely a glint of a fang could be seen edging over her lips."
I re-used some of what I wrote before but I'm hoping you get my idea.
thanks
Is this based off Second Princess of the night?
Original characters are important man. -10 awesome points
5367034, thank you.
5366704 , sort of but I thought it might be a good idea idea to give Ruby a backstory...
5367248 But wasn't Ruby an "alternate personality" to Twi? Or is this the backstory Night Walker made for her?
5367925, this kinda like the "alternate personality" to Twilight but it got me thinking... 'What Ruby really lived before Twilight did? What if she really was Princess of the Vamponies?' So I thought for about 5-6 weeks on the matter, came up with this story.
5367952 Ah. It looks interesting, but right now I'm preocuippied with the Immortal Game and Inner Glory. When I finish them, I'll have a look at this.
5367974, take your time...
interesting start good idea you have. will read if more to come.
Interesting idea.
Found an error though.
And.
It feels a little rushed though. You should draw it a little longer.
Oh, and:
DETAILS MAKE A GOOD STORY (most of the time)
But good idea, and interesting so far.
The Horse speaketh
5371146
That was a mistype... But thanks for that...
Night
You've got some grammar errors going on there and that last bit is a fragment describing the character. It has to do with which article (a/an/the) to use. This page might be useful: link Unless this particular day is exceptionally beautiful (and maybe not even then) you want the indefinite article ('a') rather than the definite article ('the'). On the other hand to say 'the sun' is appropriate because there is only one sun to which you would refer. If you had a world that had a binary star for a "sun" then you'd need to be more specific. Also, crimson is a shade of red, so 'crimson red' is somewhat redundant. Your writing could use some work in general.
P.S.
The concept seems somewhat interesting, but the reader is very much in the dark in terms of world lore. It isn't necessary for that to be the case, even if some mystery is good writing since you might like the reader to be surprised on occasion. It might be useful to explain a little about your vamponies somewhere, perhaps at the beginning. Otherwise, the implications of what Ruby Sparkle's mother said are completely lost on the reader beyond some vague contextual clues.
This could be much better if the quality of the writing were improved. You could probably also spend a couple chapters covering her early life which would make those details seem a little less flat. There's a lot of stuff sort of thrown in that doesn't really mesh well. Things like her comment regarding whatever spell disguises her a normal pony and the implication that she knows things she couldn't/shouldn't. Then there's how she's made to be Luna's adopted daughter and yet whatever of her life before Ponyville isn't mentioned and doesn't seem to affect her. It feels like you made up a character, threw her in, and then cobble together a thin backstory.