After running across the Crusaders in Manehattan, Rainbow finds out a little secret Scootaloo had been keeping from her.
Pre-reader: Kalen Nighteyes
Editors: Awesomeblaze, mobius160
Chapters (2)
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Bravo! Bravo! Another spectacular story from a spectacular author!
5331594
Ha ha ha, so cute... kinda reminds me of my sister, except she is better at modern and lyrical than ballet, and doesn't have to hide it, and... well, there really aren't that many paralells, but it still makes me think of her for some reason.
The dialogue seemed a bit off to me in parts. But will, can't argue against the fluffiness.
Hooray for fluff.
To be honest I am so tired of dark, sad, gore, and so forth, not counting " The Chase" that has enough love and fluff to balance out, that I could just scream. Yay fluff
People might scoff at ballet as girly or snobish and highbrow, but the physical conditioning it requires in easily on par with MMA or hockey players.
I always imagined Scoot to be more into Celtic or Flamenco, since hooves.
And Luna is clearly a hopak or morris dancing aficionado.
That was a good read. I like this kind of Scoots and Dash stories and this is an instand fav.
This was fantastic! Loved the first-person perspective, and the nod to Scootaloo's family. A single father is also my headcanon, though I have him as an earth pony, which is why Scootaloo has trouble with flying—she's half earth pony. Also, kudos for not having her get her cutie mark at the end. It would have cheesed it up a bit too much.
So... yeah, this was a great read!
Ohhhh, that was adorable! I haven't read a good, just-for-fluff oneshot in a while. Loved it! You need to tag Luna as a character in this, though; she definitely deserves a tag just as much as the Crusaders do. Maybe Coco Pommel, too, if you think she plays enough of a part in the story.
"Frown upon" is kind of an awkward phrase to use. To me, it has all the wrong connotations; it sounds like the wording you'd use to describe a stuffy parent's disdain for something that they see as unladylike or even morally wrong, not something that's just an activity a cool big sis might see as girly or uncool. I think the fic as a whole could stand to do a better job of showing Rainbow Dash's voice, injecting more of her mannerisms and attitude into the narration and her dialogue.
I don't get this line—Princess Luna didn't tell Rainbow Dash to let Scootaloo know about anything. That could've been stated more clearly.
Heh! The irreverent way Rainbow Dash passingly mentions the Princess's words as an afterthought is pretty good. But the nightmares "were just lies"? That wording doesn't make sense at all to me. Who told a lie? Scootaloo's subconscious?
This'd probably be better phrased as something like "Princess Luna knew you'd breeze through this and there was nothing to lose sleep over."
I think I'm going to be sick...Too much cuteness!!
Spectacular although I am not much of a fan for these types of stories but I make exceptions for a few and these is one of them and I almost died from all the fluff a great read for anyone and worth the time to read it.
Wonderful job. Nice one-shot.
Haven't read it yet but if your cover art is your own work, than I have to say it's pretty good.
You caught her motion and balance perfectly. You already got a like from me for that
EDIT: Read it. Now part of my favourites. Truly an outstanding story!
Typo spotted:
A grand story, indeed. Liked and Favorited.
Also...
A113. Just couldn't resist, could you?
5333868
I'm inclined to believe you, I have a friend who does ballet and the like, I asked her to show me how to do some of the basic and more advanced stuff.....
I ended up not being able to walk for a week, on account of me being physically worn out, on top of spraining my ankle and pulling a muscle in my thigh.....
It was fun while it lasted, though i will never do ballet again.
hmmm...
interesting.
takes the hints from the show, turns it into a story....
no glaring cliches i saw,...
rather well done, even the ballet performance itself.
Cool. I did like this.
5331890 Hey, at least the physical conditioning needed for ballet is similar :)
5331895 I can agree with you on the dialogue. I could probably make that better ^.^
5331911 Fluffiness is bestiness. No questions.
5333894 5333868 Just watching ballerinas blew my mind at how physically fit and flexible they had to be. Anyone who says it's a sissy sport gets a slap in the face by me. As for Luna, it's always been my headcanon that she's the one most in touch with the arts and whatnot. Hence knowing about dancing.
5333953 ScootaDash is best sistership :)
5334021 Ignore the sound of squeeing. I hear the wind is quite odd this time of year.
As for headcanon, it also plays into mine that he can get abusive, particularly when drunk. Haven't really explored that, but good to know I'm not the only one who thinks it ^.^
And, I must confess: I did briefly write the scene where Scootaloo gets her cutie mark. Really the only reason it was scrapped is because I didn't want to have to write AB's and Sweetie's reactions. But if the story turned out better for my laziness, then woohoo!
5334026 I had her tagged, the untagged her for some reason I can't remember. Maybe because I didn't want people coming just for Luna? I dunno. She's tagged again ^.^ Coco will be untagged, as she didn't play a vital role in the story. More of a way to pass the time and throw in a familiar face.
Changed, changed, and changed! Meh, who needs editors :P And I must admit that dding Luna's words as an afterthought wasn't something I did intentionally. A lot of the time, little things like that are just on accident. Happy little accidents :D
5334099 The cuteness is over 9000! :P I'm glad you liked it so much!
5334321 Aww, I'm happy you made an exception for mine ^.^
5334505 Thanks!
5334550 Nope, not one of mine. Definitely not one of mine. John Joseco was the fabulous artist behind that. And 5334783 's story is actually where I found it at first. Then I scoured the internet for it and wrote this :D
5334551 Thanks for catching it! I'm not perfect :)
5334682 'Course I couldn't resist. It's practically a standard that all room numbers in fics created by nerds have to be A113. It also saves me the trouble of coming up with a room number.
5334812 That art is stunning O.O Of course, the video itself isn't bad either!
5334835 I can do a little of it, but nothing as crazy as what they show. It really takes years and years of experience.
5334871 I'm glad you liked the performance! I researched... and researched... and watched videos :P
5335015
You know, would it really hurt for someone to point out that it's stupid for Dash and Scoots to be ashamed of being "girly", seeing as BOTH OF THEM ARE GIRLS?
Why is it that we bend over backwards to tell little girls "you can do anything a boy can do..." but then say nothing when the implication is that doing anything a GIRL would do is BAD?
And dang, Scoots really doesn't understand Diamond Tiara. The CMC should be conspiring to get DT into one of Scootaloo's recitals. She'd chew her own tiara in half in jealousy!
Finally, if Ballet is stunting her wings, it's time to start making some adjustments either in her physical training-- or raising an uproar over ballet fascists deforming little filly's wings!
5333868 so lots and lots of steroids
5335085
Eh, I'm not so down with the abusive bit, but I can appreciate the thought behind it. Why else would Scootaloo want to be with her friends and far away from him all the time? I more like the angle of him being the typical poor single parent, working two or three jobs to keep his daughter fed and healthy, and not being around very much as a result.
5335208 I think it has more to do with the fact that it would be so much fun (as a writer) to explore that aspect of her life where she lives in an abusive house. And then get to write a kick butt scene where Rainbow practically destroys him in rage.
5335158 For the record, I'm big into gender equality. Guys should be able to do girl things and girls should be able to do guy things, no questions asked. But these characters aren't me. Dash has a public reputation of being a tomboy and shunning "girly" things because she sees them as weak. Scoots wants to be like Dash, so she does the same thing despite liking "girly" things.
As for ballet stunting her growth, it's more because her wings are cooped up against her back so much and for so long than anything else. Just an explanation I threw in there :)
5335237
I can see that. I guess I just don't like it because I'm such a wuss that I can't put my characters through such bad things.
This was great! These are the kinds of things that need to be real episodes.
A113? You put the most famous Easter egg in media history in your story? That.Is.EPIC! Great story!
Nice, though to be honest I can't picture Scootaloo in a tutu.
5335158
We watch My Little Pony. I think we understand that girly things aren't inherently bad.
5335158
Since the other thing haa been explained, I'll do the wing and DT part:
It was STUNTING their growth, not making it so they'll never develop. So basically Scootaloo just has to wait a bit longer to fly. And lot's of exercise after ballets could help keep them healthy.
As for the CMC not understanding Diamond Tiara, that's pretty understandable. They want to avoid bullying at all costs, even if there's the chance Diamond wouldn't bully them for this.
You honestly need to stop pissing on quality stories.
5335275
just pretend they are your new cadets
Oh, I say. Author, Author!
Encore, Encore. So beautifully written (This is going in my 'best stories ever' bookshelf. Congrats. Only the best of the best make it there.)
Hey! You! Get out of my lake.
All I can say is cute. If that's the right term to use.
Into my favorites this goes!
It's nice to see a story that not only builds upon the sister-like relationship between Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo but also gives Scoots a bit more depth. While there is art that depicts her dancing, having a story behind it that deals with her insecurities is even better.
5335275 I'll throw them through a non-literal blender if I feel like it XD
5335444 O.O A real episode? Nah, this doesn't deserve that. But I'm glad you at least think so!
5335497 Of course I did! Total nerd :D
5335573 Hehe, consider it her guilty pleasure.
5335897 You rang?
5336010 That's what I meant :P I guess I was tired when I posted that comment.
5336240 YAY! I'm so, so happy you enjoyed it that much :D I'm afraid an encore won't be happening though.
5336268 Pah, I was here first. Go ship Kera and Eine or something :P
5336374 Cuterific :D
5336380 Stories and art go hand in hand so beautifully. There's a reason it directly inspires all my best work.
5336405 Eeyup.
Dawww... So cute. Heart refusing to function from the cuteness!!!
5335237
Abusive father has been done to death; it's both cliche and baseless.
Nice story, though, just long enough without cutting narrative corners. There are several grammar errors, including a subject-verb agreement issue having to do with a plural word. Apple Bloom is also two words. I would focus on characterization a little more in the future, as well. There were times when side characters said things that needed to be said to move the story along, but were not convincing coming out of their mouths. Likewise, I would be careful not to over explain; the story felt lopsided in its descriptions of the ballet its self versus basically everything else. When you wanted to, things were very detailed, but it felt selective and uneven, giving the impression you only fleshed out what you knew very well at the expense of glossing over things like setting and mood. I also found the first person perspective distasteful as the subject matter already lends itself to enamoring a reader.
Speaking of equine ballet...
You know, this kinda reminds me of some of my first Choir concerts back in middle school. Except there was less friends waiting in the back for me to take my clothes off, and more ice cream.
Great story my friend! Keep up the good work.
5335142 I am glad I had to be honest