Chapter Zero
“Twilight, darling, you simply must try one of these! I slept like a baby dragon last night!” Rarity said.
“Hey!” Spike exclaimed. “I’m right here you know.” The dragon had insistently joined Twilight when he found out that she was going to see Rarity.
“Relax, Spike. I think Rarity was just saying she slept like a rock last night. You know how sleepy you can get, too,” Twilight explained. “Why don’t you take the afternoon to yourself while Rarity and I have some girl time? I’m not sure you would like it.” Twilight levitated out a small bag of a dozen or so bits and gave them to Spike. “Here, go have some fun.”
“Thanks, Twilight!” beamed the baby dragon, running off in a different direction with the money in his claw. Rarity looked over her shoulder at him as he ran off.
“Just be back at the library in time for dinner!” Twilight called after Spike.
Rarity chuckled with Twilight as they continued walking down the road towards the spa, where they were due for their three o’clock appointment. They both were overdue for some stress and tension relief; Twilight from her non stop studying and Rarity from her non stop dressmaking. They were just as bad as each other.
When Rarity stopped by Golden Oaks the previous day to ask for a specific book pertaining to the kind of dress she was making for a client, she noticed Twilight’s dishevelled state. Twilight had stayed up all of that night too, studying as per the norm. Even though Rarity and Fluttershy had their weekly get-together a few days ago, staying up for three days running on only four hours sleep begins to show. Rarity went to the clinic in Ponyville to see if she could procure a sleeping aid, and explained the reason behind her lack of sleep.
“I’ve been working myself ragged and I’d like something that’ll give me a good night’s sleep.”
Doctor Stable gave Rarity a bottle containing a dozen small white pills and instructed her to: “Take one pill a half an hour before sleep. These are fast acting and you will want to be in bed within the allotted time. They last the good part of nine hours, so make sure you take them when needed.”
When she woke up that morning, Rarity felt as refreshed as she had ever been and thought she’d see if Twilight would be interested in trying one of the pills, given her history of all-nighters.
“To answer your question, Rarity, I’ll pass. Even though I do tend to stay up all night studying now and then, I usually go to sleep earlier the following night, having done all I intended.”
“Oh pish posh,” Rarity guffawed, trying to convince Twilight to try one. Celestia only knew Twilight needed the kind of sleep it gave Rarity. “If you have one of these at nine, you’ll wake up around six or seven in the morning, and, because you had such a good sleep, will be able to double your efforts during the day for being so focused from a good night’s sleep!”
They had reached the spa, and Twilight had stopped just short of the door to look at the bottle Rarity was shaking like a maraca in her aura.
“Well… If it’ll make me concentrate more like you say, then I’ll try one. Sure, just give me one after we’re done here alright?”
Rarity clopped her hooves together both in victory and glee, garnering a small but defeated smile from Twilight as she pushed the door to their destination open.
“Welcome!” came the thickly accented voice. “Miss Rarity, returning so soon?”
Rarity chuckled slightly. “I’m here with Twilight, Lotus. She needs some stress and tension relief so I brought her here to enjoy a treatment together.”
“Wonderful! Shall I put it on your tab?”
Twilight shot an incredulous look at Rarity. “How do you have a ‘tab’ here? Aren’t those for cider bars and other places?”
“Miss Twilight,” Lotus began. Twilight turned to look at her. “We don’t normally do that kind of thing, but since Rarity frequents so often it’s just easier if we take a monthly payment instead of trying to balance multiple payments. Other ponies usually pay for one visit as needed. Now, if you’ll follow me we can get started on the treatment.”
A day at the spa was just what Twilight needed. First the duo had their hooves and horns tended to, clipped and filed respectively to rid them of and dirt and excess keratin. After the horn filing and hooficure were completed, it was onto the next stage, the one that both ponies needed most: the massage. All the built up stress and tension had caused muscle knots to form, and the deep tissue massage, by way of comparison, ‘untied’ those knots and rid the tension from the muscles.
For Rarity and Twilight, being refreshed is a key part of their line of work, and by the time evening rolled around they were certainly feeling that way. With a relaxed and sated grin on their faces, the mares left the spa.
“So how about it Twilight, one of the sleeping aids I mentioned earlier?” Rarity began, levitating out the bottle.
“Hmm? Oh, sure. I’ll probably head home and have dinner, then have an early night so I can—”
“LOOK OUT!” screamed a voice from the heavens. A split second later, the source of the voice crashed in front of them and skidded a few metres along the path in front of the spa, spilling the contents of her saddle bags.
Rarity hurriedly cantered over to the crashed pegasus. “Rainbow Dash!” she chided. “What have we told you about your stunts over the town? You cause enough damage that the construction ponies are working overtime!” Her gaze averted to the scattered items around Rainbow. “What’s all this stuff anyway, are you pranking ponies again?” The ground was littered with items such as fake doo-doo, googly eye glasses, water pistols, and superglue.
Rainbow Dash blushed sheepishly and rubbed the back of her head with a hoof as she got up. “Heh, oops… And yeah, I figured I would have a bit of fun from my day off of weather business.” Her eyes garnered the attention of the pill bottle Rarity was holding in her aura. “Hey, what’s that?” Rainbow said as she gestured with a hoof at the floating item.
“Oh these? Sleeping pills. I was offering one to Twilight because she and I have been staying up late these past few days. We’re going home to catch an early night.”
“You know, you could be more responsible with a concept called ‘time management’, Rarity.”
Rarity did a double take, tripping over her next words as she struggled to get them out of her mouth, shocked that Rainbow had used the words ‘responsibility’, and ‘time management’ in the same sentence.
“Well I never!” Rarity finally managed to get out. “I never thought I would hear those words come from you, the pony that takes naps throughout the day!”
“Hey, I get up early to put the dew on the grass and things like that. Can you blame me for catching a few Z’s while on break for any sleep I missed out on? You can be mature and still have the sense of humour of a foal.”
“I guess not,” Rarity sighed in defeat. “But why are you pranking this late into the afternoon? Everypony is getting home from work and settling down for the evening.”
“Restocking,” she replied nonchalantly. An idea clicked in Rainbow’s head when she realized that Rarity was on her way home to sleep, figuring she was going to use the sleeping pills to put herself under. “See ya!” And with that she zoomed off, leaving her signature rainbow contrail behind her.
Rarity rolled her eyes at Rainbow Dash’s antics and turned her attention back to Twilight, popping off the lid of the bottle and giving one to her, whom then magicked it back to her bedroom. When she got home, it would be waiting on her nightstand next to a glass of water.
“Thanks, Rarity. I’ll let you know how things went tomorrow.” With that, Twilight cantered off back in the direction of Golden Oaks while Rarity began her walk back to her boutique.
“Oh man, this is gonna be great!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed to nopony in particular. She had donned her black incognito suit from her failed attempt to retrieve the Daring Do book from the hospital after breaking her wing, only this time she tucked her tail on the inside so it wouldn’t get in the way and accidentally knock something over. Rainbow also procured a black marker pen from her home in the skies and tucked it into a pocket in the suit. She elected to get up slightly earlier than normal so she could prank Rarity and still do her morning weather duties. That should leave enough time for her to get out of there by the time Rarity would wake up due to the sleeping pills wearing off.
In the wee hours before dawn, she began her flight over to the boutique. Half way across town to her destination—coming from her house in Cloudsdale, she saw a red pegasus with a black bag in his teeth and a weird, smug-looking grin on his face.
“Hey you!” Rainbow called out. The pegasus looked over at her upon hearing Rainbow call out in his direction. The look in his eyes made him look like he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. “What are you doing out this late? If you’re with the morning weather team, you’re supposed to be in Cloudsdale!”
“Who the hay are you and what are you doing out this late? Or early. Whatever,” he commanded.
“Rainbow Dash, I happen to manage the weather in this region. What are you doing and what’s in the bag?”
“Well I’m not on the weather team, and my bag is none of your business!” And with that, he pumped his wings shooting off towards the edge of town.
Rainbow watched him fly off, “Huh, what a weirdo.”
Rainbow continued flying until she hovered outside of the top floor of the boutique window where Rarity slept, spying on her. Rainbow saw Rarity through the window, sleeping as the sheets rose and fell with her breaths.
Rainbow waited another few minutes before gently pulling the window open, grateful that Rarity left the latch unlocked to let in cool breeze on warm nights. Even though the window wasn’t locked tonight, it became a bit of a habit to leave it unlocked as crimes in Ponyville were virtually naught. It’s not like other ponies sought any need for another’s possessions, which would resort to theft.
Rainbow silently flew inside, gently closing the window, not even a creak sounding. She wasn’t sure what she was worried about if these new pills were supposed to be that effective. Just to be sure, Rainbow decided to test the waters.
“Hey, Rarity,” she harshly whispered. Even though Rarity was out like a light, the cyan mare kept the noises to a minimum as to not alert anypony walking by at this unholy hour for whatever reason. Even so, she still kept things quiet, but that didn’t mean Rainbow couldn’t poke the sleeping beauty for all she was worth.
Flying over to the bedside, she set herself down on the floor and crouched to put herself lower than the mattress. Reaching a hoof up, Rainbow gave Rarity a sharp poke through the sheets with her hoof, quickly pulling it back out of sight. If she woke, Rainbow hoped she wouldn’t notice her.
“Rarity! Rainbow hissed again, careful about the volume of her voice. Rarity still laid motionless in bed, the sheets covering her barrel as it raised and fell with every breath she took. Rainbow stood upright, biting the covers and slowly pulling them down so they weren’t bundled around Rarity, giving a bit extra room to draw all over her face with the black marker.
Right off the bat, Rainbow knew she was going to draw the classic thick black glasses on her and maybe some other stuff. She thought about drawing a stallion’s pride on Rarity’s cheek, but that’d be going just a bit too far. She had to draw the line somewhere, metaphorically speaking of course.
Rainbow succeeded in pulling the sheets down to the foot of the bed. Now came the part about maneuvering Rarity onto her back so she could gain decent access to her face. Hovering above her, Rainbow used her hooves to gently nudge Rarity into position on her back. While her head was to one side, she could finish her artwork then turn her head over to do the other side.
She got out the marker from the pocket in the suit, popped the cap off and put it on the opposite end for an extra inch of reach and began to draw. The scent of the marker’s ink was always something to look forward to. A lot of the colts and fillies in school would take the caps off the markers and have a ‘huffing’ competition until the teacher returned from whatever it was she left the room to do.
In hindsight, that would probably explain why those three idiots from flight camp turned out the way they did.
Half way done with one of the irregularly shaped circles, Rainbow felt something brushing against her rear leg. Startled, she looked back and saw Opalescence laying down on the bed covers, asleep. With Opal’s tail waving around from her slumber, it had inadvertently brushed Rainbow’s leg. Rainbow froze, her eyes widening, irises shrinking to pinpricks.
“Oh buck…” she said, hoping her actions wouldn’t stir the easily aggravated cat.
Opal’s eyes opened and saw Rainbow standing over her owner. The first thing Opal did was hiss and swipe a claw at Rainbow, the fright of which caused her to lose her balance while hovering and she tumbled to the floor with a dull thud. “Opal, shush! I’m not hurting Rarity!” Rainbow half screamed while keeping her voice down. The cat backed off the edge of the bed, inadvertently falling to the floor. Rainbow thought it was always funny to see a pet make a fool of itself, and she couldn’t help but giggle. Opal backed away slowly while hissing and swiping her claw at her.
Rainbow looked over to Rarity, sighing in relief as she was still splayed on her bed. “Ugh… Thank Celestia…” she whispered. That had been quite the scare Opalescence gave her, and with the noise, it was amazing that Rarity was still asleep. Opal remained in the corner she slinked off to, watching Rainbow from the shadows with her beady little eyes.
It dawned on Rainbow Dash just how much she could get away with, so she tried getting more vocal. Hovering back up to her face and finishing drawing the glasses, Rainbow put herself down on the bed, next to Rarity.
“How are you? I’m not doing much. You know, just drawin’ glasses on your face as a prank,” she snickered. “Don’t worry though,” Rainbow asserted with a soft pat on the marshmallow-like belly. “It’ll wash off easily enough. I made sure it’s water soluble, but the ink might run like your make-up though! Pfft!” She tried hard to stifle her laugh at the last remark, putting the nail of her hoof in her mouth in an attempt to keep herself quiet, jovially hitting the mattress to contain her laughter.
“Don’t worry, nopony else is here. Your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash’ll keep you safe,” Rainbow said mockingly as she put a leg over Rarity to feign protectiveness.
As if by instinct, Rarity reacted to Rainbow’s gesture by rolling over to her and putting her own hoof over Rainbow. Shocked, Rainbow just lay there unsure of what to do.
“Mmmmm, you’re so warm Spikey-Wikey,” Rarity sing-songed in her sleep.
“Uhhhh…” That made Rainbow’s gut drop. Not only did she find out that Rarity had the same—if not similar feelings for Spike, she couldn’t tell the dragon without asking Rarity. That said, how would Rarity react when Rainbow told her that she broke into her house to prank her?
“Foooorrrreeeevvveeeerrrrrr…” echoed a voice from literally nowhere. Rainbow’s gaze darted over to the window by reflex, but nothing was there. She just chalked it down to Pinkie.. well… just being Pinkie and focused on her predicament.
“Eh heh, you can let go now, Rarity…” Rainbow said with a hint of unease in her voice. “It’s comfy and all, but this is... kinnnnd of creepy. We don’t have to become more than friends, just regular friends is fine!” she exclaimed with a sheepish smile on her face as a drop of sweat ran down her neck.
Rarity smiled in her blissful state, scooting closer and wrapping her front hooves around Rainbow Dash and pulling her that much closer.
“Oh… Oh Celestia no, stop Rarity… Staahhhp…” she spoke in a hushed tone as she slightly pushed away.
’Please don’t wake up, please don’t wake up!’ Rainbow kept mentally screaming to herself. Wouldn’t this be the best of times to have her do so?
Rarity’s mane had gotten in the way a little, brushing against the side of Dash’s face. With hooves and wings pinned to her sides, it began to itch. Rarity heaved a content sigh, telling Dash that Rarity was still asleep. Even though Rainbow Dash was trapped within Rarity’s grasp, she couldn’t help but feel how soft she was. She was definitely as soft as a marshmallow, and her mane smelled a lot like vanilla.
“Come on, Rarity, lemme go already!”
“My Spikey Wikey~…” she murmured. Rainbow felt pressure on the back of her head, and her muzzle became closer to Rarity’s. Before she knew it, her lips were pressed against the mare’s. Rainbow’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as she lay helpless in Rarity’s embrace, lips locked with the mare. ‘Oh buck! Oh buck! Oh buck!’ she screamed in her head. Rarity broke the kiss, and her hoof that wasn’t under Dash’s head moved down her side, trailing the skin until it found her flank, adorned with her trademark cloud and rainbow-coloured lightning-bolt cutie mark.
Rarity idly trailed her hoof in circles around the athletically toned thigh, eliciting an uneasy, muffled squeal as her rear got stroked and groped by her best friend. Dash honestly didn’t know how to feel about the given situation. If she closed her eyes, it felt remarkable. On the other hoof, when she opened her eyes the thrill of the kissing and stroking vanished quite quickly.
Realizing she wasn’t going anywhere unless she outright threw Rarity off of her, Rainbow closed her eyes to get the best out of the situation. ‘Just uh… pretend it’s Soarin… yeah, that’s it.’ With hesitance, she returned the kiss, relaxing slightly as her hoof also went down to her friends side, mimicking the actions Rarity was doing on her.
Rarity broke the kiss. “You certainly know how to treat a mare, Spike~” she said salaciously, still sleep-talking.
Something about this whole situation being arguably taboo—given the suggestive state of Rarity and her being Rainbow’s friend, spurred Rainbow on even more. So long as she kept her eyes closed, it wouldn’t be a problem. Hey, she could at least imagine it to be Soarin, right? Just as she thought before.
Rainbow felt a pressure on her lips as something threatened to break through the closed barrier. It took a minute for her to realize it was Rarity’s tongue. This was getting ridiculous... Thinking it couldn’t get any worse, Rainbow thought ’Meh, what the hay’, and let the muscle invade her mouth, mashing against her own tongue.
The whole situation was extremely conflicting for Rainbow. While she had always been interested in stallions, something about the more gentle physical approach from a mare had her torn. Was it mares or stallions? Soarin certainly knew how to please her, but by Celestia this felt good. The soft touch as opposed to the still good harsher physical romp was just as divine, but each in their own ways.
Rarity’s hoof left Rainbow’s flank, but it didn’t travel up, oh no. No, the leg moved between the “couple”, and Rainbow knew what was coming next. The touch came too close for comfort, or at least what Rainbow was ready for.
Rainbow just had to get away. She pushed Rarity away with all four hooves, flaring her semi-stiff wings as she hovered above the bed, breathing heavily while Rarity’s sleeping form fell over the edge of the bed with a rather loud thud.
Dash looked over in abject horror and fear, mostly at the concern the she could’ve woken her up. Drifting over to the bed, she peeked over the side and saw Rarity splayed awkwardly on the floor, much to her amusement. Giggling to herself a little, she had to put Rarity back into her bed. Hovering closer, Dash wrapped all four hooves around Rarity and lifted her into the air as Rarity also wrapped her hooves around Rainbow’s barrel in reflex.
“Oh come on!” Dash hissed slightly. “Shoulda saw that one comin’...” She released her grip on Rarity and she slowly slid off, dropping her onto the plush bed with a pomf as loud as the initial thud from falling onto the floor.
“Okay. Time to finish this.” Rainbow picked the marker back up and hovered over Rarity again. Still squirming, Rainbow pinned Rarity to the bed with her forelegs by leaning on Rarity’s legs to stop them from moving. She began scribbling two words on each of her cheeks; ‘plot’ and ‘Spikey’ with a little heart replacing the dot on the ‘i’.
Dash was too preoccupied with her prank with a stupid funny grin plastered on her face to notice the pitter patter of little hooves coming up the steps. The door creaked open and gained the attention of Rainbow Dash, whose head quickly turned in the direction of the noise.
A small head poked its way into the room, and Dash saw Sweetie Belle enter, rubbing a hoof on her eye presumably to remove the crusty crap from her eyes.
“Rarity? I heard a bang, are you—” Her sentence was cut short when she saw a figure standing over Rarity.
Everything was dead silent, even the crickets stopped chirping and Dash heared her own heartbeat as it thumped violently in her chest. “Uhhh, heeeeyy Sweets. Uhhh, how... how are you? Heh heh, yeah I was just in the neighborhood and I—”
Her half hearted explanation was cut short, as Sweetie Belle let loose an ear-piercing shriek. Rainbow dropped the marker and hurried for the window, hitting her head on the pane before clambering out of it, losing her balance, and tumbling earthward until she hit the not-so-good-to-be-there ground, which broke her fall.
Rainbow made an attempt to get up, but was greeted with the resulting pain from her fall screaming at her to lay back down. She had to leg it, but instead weakly took flight and headed into an alley to hide and then make her escape back to Cloudsdale.
Back in the boutique, Sweetie Belle picked up the marker and ran over to the window to catch Rainbow as she made her escape.
Sweetie’s scream and the noise from Rainbow’s scuffle made Rarity stir as the sleeping pills wore off. She sat up in bed and blinked a few times to clear her vision and finally saw her sister, propped up on the sill of the open window with a black ink marker in her muzzle, the cap laying on the floor. It took a moment for Rarity to put two and two together, and when she finally did, used her aura to pull the small mirror off her nightstand and looked into it.
SWEETIE BELLE!!!
“OH COME ON!”
Meanwhile, Rainbow sped to her house, chills creeping up her spine as she hoped Rarity didn’t see any of that.
’Yep, totally in the clear,’ Dash thought as Rarity’s scream could be heard throughout town. She’ll have to do something to make it up for poor Sweetie Belle in the future. Hell hath no fury like a raging Rarity...
As Dash made it to her home, she triumphantly pumped her hoof. “Yeah, mission accomplished.”
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Just to let you know, you mixed up a word in your short description:
Otherwise, looks pretty interesting. This'll be good.
It doesnt...feelcomplete...
Hmm, am I the only one thinking Rainbow's gonna draw a wiener on Rarity's forehead?
I would not want to be Sweetie right now.
This was hilarious!
5356271
Thank you, fixed!
That was great! Maybe in the future there will be a sequel where we see what happens to Sweetie Belle and Rainbow Dash; it could possibly be a slice of life.
Glad to see this put up. Alcatraz and I worked hard on it (mostly Alcatraz though)
, and I'm pretty glad that it's got good feedback. Bro Hoof-Ally! *Holds out fist*
5356325 To be fair. Rainbow could of just drawn balls under rarity's horn and made it a wiener.
This was a hilarious story. A fun little one shot i'm happy to read.
She protected her sister from vandalism and the likelihood of her raping Dash, being raped by Dash or both and that's what she gets for it?
That silly filly :(
I loved this. Dash gets to draw shit on Rarity's face, then they cuddle, make out and feel each other up, and then when the shit hits the fan, there's no blowback on Dash. Perfect!
5359028
It's always good seeing comments from you, they make me smile knowing high profile people take notice of my work.
5360203
Just like in Lunar Domination, amirite?
I'm glad my first contribution to a creative work in the Brony fandom turned out so well :D
Great story. A few grammatical errors and or style errors here and there, but after finding out what you had to go through for this story, I will limit my feedback concerning them to simply pointing them out in a quick and to the point manner.
I would've excluded the "to:", as it feels a bit distracting
possible Lavender Unicorn Syndrome? Nah, I guess that only applies if the character was previously introduced and the descriptive reference to them unnecessarily draws attention away from what is going on. Having said that, maybe you should check for yourself.
Lavender Unicorn Syndrome
okay, I don't care what you think about the first one, this one is definitely LUS. You interrupted the conversation and rarity had previously identified her as Lotus.
off of*
I think you should probably drop the semicolon.
I think that should either be "and accidentally knock" (without the comma) or "accidentally knocking".
you must have done some serious rewriting on this, because the sentence form is all jumbled.
Generally when you're trying to spite some disrespectful asshole by publishing their commission without their changes, you should make sure to give it one final personal proofreading... Unless for some reason you don't want good grammar and spelling attached to your username.
5573662
Thanks for the criticisms, I changed them all and I think it looks much better.
Also, to address the last couple points.
I don't think it would need rewriting. I think what's throwing you off is the words 'naught' and 'sought' which rhyme and could be why it sounds funny to you.
I had four people go over this. Not everyone that does proofread/edit it is going to notice everything. Different people specialize in different areas in terms of spelling, grammar, punctuation etc etc, so again I thank you for pointing out the last couple cracks which I filled in.
Also, on a side note, the "disrespectful asshole" reported me to the mods regarding this story. What the report said I have no idea, but when Eldorado bought it to my attention he told me to (after I had blocked the commissioner, whom still wanted to negotiate) "Run far far away from that guy, he's trouble." so I did just that.
Err