The Simple Life

by Thornwing

Hello and Goodbye

“How do you expect me to eat that?” Prince Blueblood dropped his salad fork with a clang against the gold rimmed china plate. The dish set before him comprised a delicate display of three miniature potatoes accompanied by a splay of sliced heirloom tomatoes. He glared at the serving filly while gingerly sliding the plate aside with an outstretched hoof. “This is an outrage!”

The junior cook’s assistant cowered away from his wrath. “I’m very sorry, Your Majesty. The kitchen is all out of carrots—we’re waiting for a shipment that should arrive—“

“I don’t care about excuses! I want my lunch, and I want it now!” Blueblood shoved the unsuitable offering over the edge of the fifty-seat banquet table set for one. His current victim of contrived royal outrage dove to catch the plate as it fell. The filly deserved an award for the acrobatic save; she deserved another for every minute spent tolerating the belligerent royal stallion.

Gathering herself and the rescued plate, the poor serving filly quivered under the steely gaze of the Prince. “I’ll speak to the head chef, Your Highness. Perhaps he can find a suitable alternative.”

“See that you do, and tell him that I shall never stoop so low as to dine on peasant food—the very idea… Potatoes—the nerve!” Blueblood slumped back in his chair and dismissed the filly with a wave of his impeccably manicured hoof. Backing away slowly, she gratefully escaped through the open door, tail tucked securely between her legs.

Tossing back his head and flicking his horn, Blueblood summoned an oversized personal mirror to his side. He admired his reflection while preening his already glowing mane. After sufficient care had been taken to assure his flowing tresses were as stunning as always, he absently motioned to the guard stationed at the door. “You there, guard. Tell the Princess I will be late to high tea. Due to the incompetence of the royal kitchen, I won’t have sufficient time to relax prior to our afternoon engagement given the tardiness of my lunch.”

“Umm, why don’t you tell her yourself?” The guard snickered as he backed away, making room as the imposing form of Princess Celestia walked past him into the dining hall. Blueblood nearly dropped his mirror as he quickly adjusted his posture.

Celestia craned her neck around to the guard. “That will be all for now, Sir Lighthoof. Please extend my apologies to Miss Bluebell and the head cook. While you do so, please ask if she would be so kind as to join me for high tea in the castle gardens this afternoon.” Bowing her head, she met the salute from Sir Lighthoof who trotted off in search of the recently departed cook’s assistant.

Oblivious to the stern glare of the approaching Princess, Blueblood launched into another typical rant. “I’m so glad you’re here, Princess. Something must be done about the deplorable menu selections coming out of the royal kitchen. To think they would ever consider serving a common potato—to me, a prince—I mean, what were they thinking? This is beyond unacceptable.”

“I agree. It is beyond unacceptable—” Celestia’s magic took hold of Blueblood’s chair and spun it around to face her. “—for a Prince of Equestria to behave in this manner. Sadly, I have allowed such behavior to continue far too long.”

The stunned Prince stared back in shock. “Wha? How? Whe—” He paused while the rusty wheels of thought creaked through a strained revolution. “M-Me? Surely you jest…” His face flushed as he tried to brush the accusation aside similar to his lunch.

“I can’t help but feel I am at least partially to blame for your egregious behavior, Prince Blueblood. Though it pains me greatly to do so, I am left with no reasonable alternative.” Celestia shook her head as if trying to muster the courage to go through with her plan. “You leave me no choice but to strip you of your title—and your magic—until such time as you learn your proper place in this kingdom.”

Blueblood tried to respond, but the only sound that escaped his throat warbled akin to a foal’s pouting grunts straining for a long overdue sip from their mother’s teat. Celestia’s magic engulfed him immediately. With her eyes glowing white, the words she spoke echoed through the vacuous space between his ears. “What is lost must be found; let your search start within. Discover the keys to rule faithfully, and find your place again.”

The horn of the young Prince glowed brightly under the assault of Celestia’s spell. As quick as a candle being snuffed, that light went out. Blueblood gasped with the extinguishing blow to his inherent magical abilities. The swiftness of the Princess’s actions left him little time to ponder his fate or appeal her decision. All was done prior to the concept of fault even registering through his fog of delusion.

With a second wave of her horn, Celestia summoned a scroll sealed with golden wax bearing her personal suncrest mark. Reaching out, she lifted Blueblood’s drooping head while guiding the missive between his waving mane and drawn back ear. “Here are your instructions—just four simple steps. Each one builds to the next. You’ll have ample time to look them over on the train.”

Fighting back tears, the sullen stallion grappled with his fate. “Auntie Celestia, why are you doing this? Where are you sending me?” The roiling shock of being stripped of both magic and title throbbed from his functionless horn.

“This is for your own good, nephew.” Celestia laid a hoof on his shoulder. All Blueblood felt was the chilling vacuum of warmth as he shied away from the unwelcome touch.

“This isn’t fair! What have I done to deserve this?”

“I hope you discover the answer for yourself, but that will depend entirely on you.” She gazed into his eyes piercing to his core. “Let’s hurry along now. You don’t want to be late. Once you get settled in, I know you’ll come to love—The Farm.”

---

Twilight peered down the tracks watching for signs of an approaching train. Applejack tapped her hoof nervously by her side. The letter from Princess Celestia hung in the air providing their only reason to be waiting on the evening train’s arrival in the gathering dusk of the Ponyville Train Station.

“I don’t get it, Twi. Why would the Princess send her nephew to Ponyville?” Applejack scanned down the message for what had to be the tenth time. “Why would she want him to work on the farm?”

“Celestia works in mysterious ways.” Twilight smiled and rolled up the letter. “Also, fun fact, since Luna never had foals, he’s technically a fourth cousin fifty-two times removed—on their mother’s side, of course. It’s just easier to say he’s their nephew since the royal family tree gets a little twisted about ten generations back.”

“I’ll keep that in mind when I get to the genealogy portion of the farm chores.” Applejack returned the smile and gave Twilight a playful shove. “I just don’t get why she thinks I can help.”

Twilight shook her head. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see. In any case, we better keep him away from Rarity while he’s here. Those two have some history.” Applejack nodded and turned back to watching the tracks. Off in the distance, the headlamp of the Canterlot Express blinked over the crest of the rolling hills. A toot of the whistle signaled the train’s imminent arrival.

As soon as the engine came to a stop, ponies of all ages poured from the forward cars. Twilight and Applejack craned their necks above the drove to try and catch sight of the awaited traveler. As the chatter of the departing throng died down, Applejack singled out a lone stallion struggling with his bag and trying unsuccessfully to command it down the steps of the caboose. Quickly, she hopped to his aid.

“Let me help you with that.” Applejack smiled reaching out a hoof to assist.

A growl rebuffed her offer. “She put me in coach—how dare she put me in coach!” Blueblood hopped over the pack and pony and landed on the platform. With a slight bend of his neck and an even slighter buckle in his knee, he addressed Twilight directly. “Princess Twilight, I hear you have a new castle and I can’t wait to see the royal guest rooms. I trust my accommodations shall attempt to make up for that atrocious method of conveyance.”

“Actually, Blueblood, the Princess wants you to stay at Sweet Apple Acres,” Applejack replied. “We should probably get a move on since it’s gettin’ dark.”

Blueblood struck an appalled stance. “How dare you address your Prince in that tone! Servant ponies should know their place.” He waved off Applejack while appealing back to Twilight. “Are you just going to stand there and let this happen, Princess?”

“Let what happen?” Twilight exchanged a confused glance with Applejack. Cocking her head askew, she rebuked the former Prince. “This is my friend—she’s not a servant pony. And even so…” He wasn't even listening.

Blueblood sat back on his haunches as he sized up Applejack. “Shall I infer you purport to be some form of attaché for said royal retreat, what was the name of it again, sweet something-or-other?” His foreleg curled into a halfhearted attempt at a greeting as he reluctantly reached out to shake hooves.

“Name’s Applejack. Welcome to Ponyville, home of Sweet Apple Acres.” Applejack grabbed hold and vigorously shook his outstretched hoof with both of her own forehooves. “You’re going to love it here.”

“I doubt it.” Blueblood pulled back his hoof and gave it a gentle rub. “I do hope your establishment knows how to properly stock a kitchen. That dreadful train ride has left me drained, and I must insist that dinner far exceeds my shallow expectations for this one-princess-town.” He stood and sauntered off in the direction of the departed crowd. His welcoming committee sat speechless just watching him go.

Twilight bowed her head with a sigh and whispered to Applejack. “I’ll get his bags. It looks like you’re going to have your hooves full for a while.”

Applejack stared awkwardly at the departing stallion. “I sure hope the Princess knows what she’s doing, ‘cause I sure don’t.”

Comments

[Aerin Silverfeather]

No one can dislike a story where bulb look learns his place

[Thornwing]

5317176
I agree!

[Cheesey Microwave]

I love this already. You've captured his whininess perfectly, and you're remedying it so well. All of the characters are well represented, no OOC here.
Ratings:

Five annoyed Applejacks out of five.

Five moustaches out of five.

Five Celestias-who-know-exactly-what-they're-doing-and-that-is-trolling-Applejack out of five.

[Alex Warlorn]

Okay. Blueblood is a jackass and NEEDS a lesson in humility to tone down his sense of entitlement, and stripping him of his title and privileges is one thing, but taking away what makes a unicorn a unicorn is cruel and usual punishment just for being a spoiled brat.

[Anar Isil]

First paragraph of the first chapter, and there's already been an assassination attempt. Potatoes AND tomatoes? They're not fooling around.

[Wellwater]

“I’ll keep that in mind when I get to the genealogy portion of the farm chores.”

Layin' down the Applesmack!