The Secret Life of Pinkamena Pie

by GWFan

Prequel Chapter: The Secret Past of Pinkamena Pie

Disclaimer: I do not own My little Pony: Friendship is Magic. That’s kind of it. What else is there to disclaim besides the world?

The Secret Life of Pinkamena Pie
By: GWFan (The Softcore Brony)

The Prequel Chapter: The Secret Past of Pinkamena Pie

Burgle laughed out loud as he counted all the bits. He and one of his comrades, Loot, had just returned from a great job of plundering. Over the course of several nights they had pillaged several different pony communities, bringing in quite a haul. He hadn’t even counted half of their plunder and already he knew they were filthy rich. Even better, his other two comrades, Spoil and Sack, would be returning soon with even more. Truly, it was a good day to be a pony.

Burgle looked up from his counting when somepony entered his secret little shack in the mountains and slammed the door. Sack was standing there, completely out of breath, holding only a single bag of their pillaged goods. Sweat dotted his face and he looked pale.

“What took you so long Sack? And where’s Spoil? Does he have the rest of our haul with him?”

“Spoil… Spoil… he… he…,” Sack sputtered, but he couldn’t formulate any words that really made any sense.

“For Celestia’s sake, Sack, slow down and spit it out. Where the hay is Spoil?”

“He’s down!” Sack blurted. “She’s coming! She’s coming!”

“On the contrary,” a voice said from the shadows. “I’m already here.”

“What the?” Burgle stood up quickly and turned to face the pony in the shadows. “How did you get in here? When did you get here?”

The intruder stepped out of the shadows and Burgle took a double take. It was a tiny little pony, probably still a foal. Based on her voice and the pink color of her clothes that covered her from muzzle to hoof, he could only assume that she was a filly. Her straight, magenta hair partially covered one eye, and the little pony’s eyes held an expression of half anger and half pleasure.

“All right, which one of you mugs let this little kid in here?” He turned to his comrades questioningly. Loot shrugged and shook his head, but Sack had turned white as a sheet.

“It’s her! She found us!” Sack screamed and raced out the door. He didn’t get very far though. Two steps past the entrance and Burgle saw Sack suddenly fly in the air. In the next moment, he was hanging just outside the entranceway, inside a net.

The little pink pony snickered. “There’s no escape from me.”

Burgle turned back to the filly and made a quick assessment of her clothes. If he didn’t know any better, he would say she was dressed like a ninja. But if so, then why pink?

“Loot,” Burgle commanded, “Take the kid outside and tell her to beat it. I’m going to cut Sack down.” With that, Burgle walked to the entrance and grabbed up a knife with his unicorn magic, intending to get Sack out of the net. Sack was struggling like crazy, as if he was deathly terrified of something.

Just as Burgle was about to try and cut the rope, he heard the sound of somepony brandishing metal, as if a sword had just been drawn. He turned back around and paled. Loot was on the floor, a dark ring of red around his shoulder, quite close to his neck, that started to form a pool on the floor. The strange foal had stood up on her hind legs and was holding a sword in her front hooves.

“Get me down Burgle! Hurry! Before she gets us!” Sack screamed.

But Burgle barely heard him. The little pony kicked Loot in the stomach, hard enough to make him puke. The her eyes were trained on Burgle. Burgle swallowed, suddenly wondering what exactly had happened to Spoil.

The little pony took a step toward him and swung her sword one time. Though she was clear on the other side of the room, Burgle’s knife suddenly split in half, the sharp tip landing noisily on the ground. Burgle gaped at the perfectly level slice on his knife. Then he stared at the pink ninja who may very well have been smiling behind her mask.

“Run,” she said.

Though he hardly knew what was going on, Burgle pushed the still struggling Sack out of his way and bolted. He galloped long and hard, nearly a full mile from his hideout. Feeling that he was at a safe distance, Burgle stopped and puffed in exhaustion. Though she had been little more than a filly, Burgle’s instincts told him that that ninja was not quite what she seemed.

“Are you tired?” A voice from in front of him said. Burgle looked and was shocked to see the same little pony, leaning on a rock.

“How… how did you…?”

“Trade secret. The way of the ninja is as mysterious as it is dangerous. Dangerous at least for you.”

Burgle took off galloping in another direction. He pushed through bushes, ducked around trees, and finally came to stop in a little clearing behind a small rock. He wiped sweat from his face, disgusted with himself that he was being pursued by a filly. Then abruptly, the rock he was standing behind morphed into the little ninja and she held her sword up too his neck. Burgle fell backwards on the ground and backed away until his back was to a tree.

“What do you want?” He screamed at her.

“To complete my mission,” The little pony screamed and lunged at him with her sword.

---

Princess Celestia grimaced after Pinkamena had finished her report on her latest mission.

“Pinkamena, your task was only to capture those thieves. Although you succeeded, you very nearly killed three of them. Two of them are in intensive care as we speak.”

“But they’re not dead,” the Pinkamena said confidently. “So I didn’t disobey orders.”

Throughout all the centuries Celestia had been alive, this was the first time she was truly at a loss for words. The secret society of ninja that Pinkamena was apart of had served her since Celestia had sent her sister Luna to the moon. Now, Pinkamena was the last of her clan who still knew the ways of the ninja, and by far the youngest to ever serve. It had always pained Celestia to call on the ninja clan to take on the most difficult and dangerous jobs of the past, but seeing the young filly before her now nearly broke her heart. If only the world didn’t need the skills of a ninja anymore.

“If that is all Princess, then I have to get back to my training.” Pinkamena opened her hooves, intending to use her special teleport technique to go back to her home village.

“Wait, Pinkamena,” Celestia said, raising her hoof. “I have a very special mission for you.”

“What kind of mission?” Pinkamena said, sounding devilishly interested.

“I would like you to relocate to a new village.”

“How is that a mission?” The little pony asked defiantly.

“The village I am sending you to is Ponyville. In a few years will be the thousandth year of the Summer Sun Celebration. If my suspicions are correct, Nightmare Moon will be able to free herself on that day. I intend to hold the celebration in Ponyville and I need you to be there.”

“Stop some old Mare from escaping the moon? I aught to be able to handle that.”

“No. Nightmare Moon is far too powerful for even you to handle alone. The only way to defeat her is with the Elements of Harmony. Your mission is to go to Ponyville and train yourself to act like a more normal pony.”

“What kind of training is that?”

“Thus far, I believe there are two ponies already in Ponyville, as well as two in the nearby city of Cloudsdale who possess the special spirit to hold four of the elements. But I still need to find two more ponies with the spirit of Laughter and Magic. At some point, I hope to find the ponies who can fill these rolls. Until then, I would like you to keep an eye on the other four to make sure nothing happens to them.”

“Huh?” The little filly stood stupefied. “What am I supposed to learn exactly?”

“If you act like a normal pony than nopony will think anything is strange about you’re being there. Basically, I want you to learn how to have fun. And how to laugh.”

“But I do have fun. I love stalking ponies and scaring the pony berries out of them. And I know how to laugh. Ha, ha, ha.” The young filly’s laugh sounded hollow and forced.

“If it makes you feel any better, there is a second reason for this training. Being as you are the only member of your clan left, rumor has spread among the land as to where and who the young mysterious ninja might be. Think of this as creating a secret identity for yourself in order to hide who you really are.”

“That’s pointless. I can protect myself from anypony who threatens me.”

“It is for the safety of Equestria. Nopony must know that you are serving Canterlot.”

“I guess I see your point. Okay, I’ll work on some kind of secret identity,” Pinkamena said, sounding rather disappointed.

“Remember Pinkamena, this is a mission,” Celestia reminded her.

Pinkamena stood up straighter and saluted. “Yes Princess. Mission accepted.” With that, Pinkamena clapped her hooves together and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

After the little pony had left, Celestia let out a sigh. In truth, she had lied. This was not a real mission. All she really wanted was for Pinkamena to have a normal life. She wanted her to have the normal fowlhood she so rightfully deserved, but had been denied because of her clans birthright.

Feeling very guilty, Celestia decided to take a walk around Canterlot in order to clear her head. What was she ever going to do about Pinkamena? The little filly was obsessed with her ninja heritage and as coldhearted as a beast. It wasn’t right. It just wasn’t right, either to expect the young filly to live that kind of life or to live the lie of being a normal pony.

That’s when it happened. An incredible explosion rocked the sky and Princess Celestia saw a rainbow light in the distance. What in Equestria was it? Before she could investigate the matter though, a dragon’s head suddenly erupted from the school Celestia had set up for gifted unicorns. The rainbow light would have to wait. Whatever was going on at the school came first.

---

Several years had past. In just a few months, Celestia would raise the sun for the thousandth, Summer Sun Festival in Ponyville. Or perhaps not, if Nightmare Moon really did return. Celestia was on her way to Ponyville to personally make the announcement to the Mayor. Secretly, she also wanted to check on Pinkamena to see if she had done anything to act the part of a normal pony. If she hadn’t, Celestia probably would have heard about it, so she wasn’t worried, though she did wonder what had become of her. Celestia hadn’t sent Pinkamena on a mission during all the years of her stay in Ponyville.

Upon arriving, she was greeted by a grand procession of ponies who all wanted to meet her. After greeting dozens of ponies, the Mayor finally made her way to Celestia.

“Welcome Princess Celestia. We’ve been expecting you.”

“So I see,” Celestia said with a bit of a giggle. It always pleased her to see her subjects so happy, even if it was just to see her.

“Please, come this way. There is a party in your honor at Sugarcube Corner.” The Mayor led the way and, although they met many ponies, made it to Sugarcube Corner relatively quickly.

The party inside was incredible. Celestia had never seen one quite like it. The decorations, the music, the streamers, so many balloons, it was absolutely fantastic.

“How do you like the party your highness?” The Mayor asked her after an hour.

“It is phenomenal, Mayor. I am truly impressed you could put something like this together.”

“Oh, don’t thank me. This was all designed and created by Ponyville’s self proclaimed party master, Pinkie Pie.”

“Pinkie Pie?” Celestia said a little surprised. Pie was Pinkamena’s family name. Could it be?

“Pinkie Pie, there you are. Please come introduce yourself to Princess Celestia. She absolutely loves your party.” The Mayor waved to a young pink pony with a poofy magenta mane. Though Celestia had never seen Pinkamena without her ninja suit, she had no doubt that this wildly smiling pony was her.

“Hiya Princess. I’m Pinkie Pie. Are you going to eat that?” Pinkie grabbed up a cupcake that was sitting on Celestia’s plate and ate it in one gulp.

“Pinkie! Please show some manners,” The Mayor warned her.

“It’s quite all right. I am just happy to see her so happy.” That was no lie. Celestia marveled at Pinkie’s wild behavior. She was an incredible actor. She didn’t seem even the slightest bit like the pony she had been a few short years ago.

---

After the party, which had lasted for a few hours, Princess Celestia had managed to pull Pinkamena aside in a private room without anypony noticing. She smiled at the pink earth pony, who smiled an even larger smile back.

“I am so happy to see you again, Pinkamena. I see you took your training very seriously.”

“Yeserito, Princess. I always take my missions seriously.”

Celestia chuckled to herself. “It’s okay Pinkamena. We’re alone. You don’t have to act in front of me.”

“What do you mean Princess? This is the way I always am. And please, Pinkamena is such a mouthful. You can just call me Pinkie!”

“Yes… of course, Pinkie.” Celestia said, though a little cautiously. Pinkamena, or rather Pinkie, was taking her acting very seriously it seemed. Maybe a little too seriously. “So Pinkie, I actually have a mission for you.”

“Another mission? Really? Wowie zowie, it’s been years. Wait right there.” Pinkie dashed into the closet and came right back out wearing her ninja costume. The only difference was that her hair was still poofy and she didn’t have the same killer look in her eye that she had when she was younger. “All ready Princess. Whatcha got for me?”

Celestia paused. Pinkie looked like she was smiling behind her mask. A real honest smile. “Pinkamena, are you feeling all right?”

“Like a million ponies Princess. I’m ready to party hard, anytime, anyplace.” She said very excitedly.

For the first time since she sent Pinkamena on her mission to Ponyville, Celestia was at a loss for words. She had noticed the pink pony’s cutie mark of three balloons, but she had simply assumed it was part of Pinkie’s disguise. “Pinkamena, I know I gave you this mission to live a secret life, but I have to ask, however did you accomplish it?”

“It was amazing Princess,” Pinkie said, her eyes growing larger. “The day you sent me on that mission, I saw this awesome explosion in the sky. I’d never seen anything like it before. It filled me with this strange feeling I couldn’t explain. It made me want to smile for some reason. So I thought, maybe I should try building an identity around that feeling. That’s when I discovered parties. It gave other ponies the same feeling I had felt. Now I know that that feeling is happiness. I’ve been practicing being a happy pony ever since. Isn’t it an awesome disguise?” Pinkie Pie then laughed a very real and happy laugh.

Celestia nearly gaped. That phenomenon that had been identified later as a Sonic Rainboom, had given Pinkamena the idea of incorporating her feelings into her new identity. Would this have happened if Celestia hadn’t ordered her to take on a new life? There was no way to know. But just how far had Pinkamena fallen into her persona?

“Pinkamena,” Celestia started, “You have accomplished your mission of disguising your true identity perfectly. But right now, I must interrupt that mission in order to give you a new one. You remember that thief, Burgle? He was released from prison for good behavior a year ago, but it seems he is back to his old ways of stealing and plundering. I would like you to recapture him.”

“Okie dokie loki, Princess,” Pinkie saluted.

“And Pinkamena, when you find him, please try not to hurt him.”

At this Pinkie looked stunned. “Hurt him? Why would I do that? Violence makes ponies so sad.”

Celestia had to suppress a smile that started to creep up on her face. “But what if things become dangerous and you must use force to detain him?”

“It’s okay Princess. See.” She clicked her tongue and a little baby alligator hopped up on her shoulder from inside her puffy hair. “This is my new ninja alligator, Gummy. Cough it up, Gummy.” The little alligator coughed up something that looked like a scroll. “This is my new summoning scroll. With it, I can summon up my secret weapon. It’s kind of mean, but if it comes to it, I’m ready for danger.”

The smile was threatening to overcome Celestia’s willpower, but she had to tell her one more thing. “I have a secondary mission for you when you return Pinkamena. In a few months I am going to send my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, to Ponyville. When she arrives, I need you to become her friend and protect her from all harm. It will be an ongoing mission for as long as she remains in Ponyville.”

“What does Twilight Sparkle look like?”

“She shouldn’t be easy to miss. She is a unicorn with a lavender coat.”

“Lavender unicorn. Okay, I’ll remember that.”

“Then go Pinkamena. Complete your mission of catching Burgle and then wait for Twilight Sparkle to arrive.”

“Will do, Princess. And please call me Pink Ninja.” She made a fierce looking pose before clapping her hooves together and disappearing in a puff of smoke.

As soon as she was gone, Celestia lowered her head and smiled. “She’s become normal. Somehow or another she has managed to live the life of a normal pony.” Celestia cried tears of joy. She had always hoped Pinkamena could live a normal life. Her duty as a ninja still called to her, but perhaps eventually, Pinkamena, no, Pinkie Pie, could put that behind her. “You’ve helped me even more than you know Pinkie Pie,” Celestia said to the spot Pinkie had been standing. “I have finally found the last pony who embodies one of the Elements of Harmony.”

Comments

[PoptartKitten]

How did she snap her fingers???

24819

This.

[Final Fantasy BRN]

Pink Ninja, oddly that sounds like a old mythological story I may have heard once.

[Final Fantasy BRN]

Pink Ninja, oddly that sounds like a old mythological story I may have heard once.