• Member Since 27th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen January 29th

Jay David


Just a guy who loves MLP.

T
Source

It is the winter holidays once more, and almost everypony is enjoying it. But for one lone stallion, things are less cheerful. However, on the eve of that special day, he is visited by the spirit of his old business partner, who warns him that his selfish and greedy life will condemn him in ways he cannot possibly imagine.

So, on this one night, the old stallion is led on a journey by three visiting spirits, each of whom will show him his past, present and future, in the hopes that he will change his ways for the better, before it is too late.

Cover art by Siansaar.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 29 )

I like it. Though the fact that it is Dickens helps with that. However, i do enjoy the dialogue as well as the reference to Greek lore. I look forward to hearing how you portray the rest of the story.

Curse you! You've found my biggest literary weakness! I cannot turn down a Christmas Carol story. ..:twilightsheepish:

This I know I am going to like. Christmas Carol stories always have attracted me, especially ones that are more serious, as this one sounds like it will be more serious, like Dickens' story is. I look forward to you continuing this one.

Nice begining to the story and I hope the rest is good as well. Clever to use the Greek thing about the coins in the eyes as MLP refferences Greek lore alot.

(Comment posted on deviantART, re-posting here.)

Ugh! My heart! The feels abound already!!!

I was so excited when I saw you'd be posting an MLP/Christmas Carol fic... A Christmas Carol is my favorite book of all time! And so far, you've done anything but disappoint! Scrooge and Marley's ponified names ("Scrounger" and "Scrimper," how awesome is that?)... opening with Scrimper's funeral, and immediately showing the strong bond between the two friends... the beautiful writing style... and of course, the painful, bitter irony of the closing words. Because of course, "reward" is hardly the correct term... but Scrounger has yet to learn that.

P.S. Oh, I did come across a single spelling error, by the by: "Honestly, when they first told be you'd passed, I couldn't quite believe it." It should read "when they first told ME you'd passed."

Also, the bit about "the minister, an elderly unicorn, the stallions carrying the casket, and a solitary earth pony stallion standing to one side" at first led me to believe that you were referring to the minister, AND an elderly unicorn, etc. Might wanna change the punctuation to make it clearer.

Finally, "He was quite elderly, even more so than himself," might perhaps be easier to follow as "He was quite elderly, even more so than the minister," because otherwise it seems like the earth pony is somehow older than himself, the earth pony.

Just suggestions. Take 'em or leave 'em. All in all, a wonderfully written chapter in what promises to be a most engaging story.

This is amazing! Im actually reading A Christmas Carol in school right now, but the dialogue, the setting, the.... the... WHOLE CONCEPT OF THIS CHAPTER!!!! makes me want to read more now

Wow, you have this following the work of Dickens perfectly! I'm loving this.

Way to capture just how...well; Scrooge-like, Scrounger is.

Props for gradually building up his nastiness--first he seems like just a grumpy old dude, then he scolds his nephew for getting married (Not getting married young, just *getting married at all*). And finally, he snarks off donating to help war orphans with some rather...Malthusian logic.

Watching this!

"What a day. I could use a peaceful night's sleep after all this."

hehe... that's cute.

My time is almost done here. I came to warn you, that you yet have a chance of escaping my face.

Shouldn't that be 'fate'?

Damn, that's a hit to the heartstrings...

Finally! A distinction from the Jim Carrey version of the tale!

JK, I actually love that version. But the dialogue on your story so far was a shameless copy from that version... which I guess it's justified since the story is so overly done. But right in this part, you started to walk away from there and still got the same message across. Great Chapter.

So far this reminds me so much of the version that starred George C. Scott. I'm loving this story.

your looking for the word wreath not reef, only a minor one but it would be rather silly of Pinkie.. err the Ghost of Hearth's Warming to be wearing a mass of dead coral exoskeletons around her neck.

Just as unnerving as Dickens' original...

One thing: The Spirit of Christmas Present doesn't hold a simple "horn", It's called "Cornucopia"

Why did Bob only have one child, Pip (Tim)? I thought he had a total of four. Also, the clock struck one and then two but then as Pinkamena left, the clock was striking twelve. I'm loving this story but it seems like the timing is a bit off.

Love the nod to the Muppets in this chapter.

Wow, the end of the visit of the spirit of the future (I'm assuming Nightmare Moon) is much more grim than what happened to Scrooge! I like this!

But instead, he found his face pressed up again what surely felt like wood.

Should be 'against', I think.

Anyway, huzzah! Happy ending! I'm sorta glad there isn't an epilogue where Princess Luna shows up with Sweetiebelle, Pinkie and the Cake Twins to offer Scrounger their apologies for scaring him straight; might've hurt the story a bit.

A good happy ending and a good interpretation of Dickens' Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future. :twilightsmile:

This was too good and too cute. Though the ending did feel like it ended a bit short but it was a very enjoyable read!

Also saw what you did there: the flaming coffin, hanging from the branch, it was from the CGI Christmas Carol movie in 2009. AND the Scrooge McDuck one in the1940s. *nods nods* Very well done good sir!

5587290 The Scrooge McDuck one was actually in the 1980's.

I had a sudden urge to see if someone had written a story like this, and I'm delighted to see one that was pretty well done. I was also ecstatic about Pipsqueak being in the role of Tiny Tim, as I had the same thought. And Scrounger was a really good name for the Scrooge Pony. And Bobbing F. Apples?
GENIUS

THIS WAS AMAZING!
I loved it! To find a pony version of this story made my day! Other then a few errors it was perfect.
Five star story!
~LATEP

5355247
The Jim Carrey version used a lot of the original novel's dialogue, which is what has been mirrored in this story. The quotes you recognize are slightly modernized and at times ponified versions of Dickens' original words, which were similarly used in the 2009 Disney version you're referring to, as well as the 1984 George C. Scott version.

In other words, it isn't a "shameless copy" of another version, but a faithful reproduction of the source material.

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