Spring Break: Friday
“Denise! Denise! Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up!”
The bed shook so much I thought we were having a particularly violent earthquake. If it wasn’t accompanied by three young voices, my awakening would have been surprised and terrified. As it was, I was just surprised and annoyed.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders were all bouncing on my bed. How they had gotten into the library and why they thought waking up a vacationing college student early was a good idea were both good questions.
I sat up and they stopped bouncing. I blearily looked at each of them in turn. “Why didn’t you go wake up Rainbow first?”
“She’s staying in Cloudsdale and since you took us there last time, we came over here to wake you up,” answered Apple Bloom.
“Or we could just wait for her. She knows she’s supposed to hang out with us today.” I put my feet over the edge of the bed. I stretched my arms and yawned deeply.
The three fillies stared at me. “Wow, I knew people had sharp teeth, but I’ve never actually seen them,” said Sweetie Belle. “It looks so strange because you’re so nice.”
“Hey,” said Scootaloo. “Are you girls thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Cutie Mark Crusader Human Food Makers, yay!” they cried.
My mom always told me that yawning without covering my mouth would get me in trouble.
The three of them dragged me downstairs and proceeded to start breakfast. I use that noun loosely. After a quick pregame huddle, the Crusaders decided to make toast, eggs, and bacon. No, I don’t know where in Equestria they got their hooves on that last one.
“Why…?” I asked, examining the package.
“Well, on the internet we found this show called Epic Meal Time and—”
I facepalmed. “Strangely enough, that explains everything.”
I washed my hands and supervised while the three of them scrubbed their hooves. They had barely finished drying before launching into the task of making breakfast.
“All right! Let’s get started!” called Scootaloo. She started shoving bread in the toaster and cranked the dial to maximum. As she turned away to help the other two, I unloaded a slice or two and turned the heat control down a little.
Apple Bloom had begun to crack eggs into a bowl. She seemed quite happy to do so, but a little lax on the quality control. When she diverted her attention to helping Sweetie Belle with the frying pan, I dipped my fingers into the bowl and scooped out the largest pieces of eggshell.
I rinsed off at the sink and watched Sweetie Belle put a frying pan full of bacon on the stove. She cranked the burner up to max, flames licking at the bottom of the pan.
The three of them paused. Scootaloo asked, “Now what?”
“We have to wait for the stuff to cook,” Sweetie Belle reminded her.
“How long is that going to take?” Apple Bloom asked.
They all looked at each other, but none of them seemed to know.
“Why don’t you three go find something interesting to read?” I said. “I’ll come with you.”
The Crusaders all scampered for the library shelves. I took half a step out of the kitchen and snapped my fingers. “Oh wait, I just remembered something. Give me a minute.”
“How did you do that? That thing with your fingers?”
I looked at my hands. “What, finger snapping?” I quickly snapped out a little rhythm with both hands. “Just a thing, I guess.”
I shook my head as they disappeared into the library, once again hit by how something I took for granted appeared so strange in a land where fingers were uncommon.
Turning back to the stove I quickly lowered the heat on the frying pan, flipping the bacon. The toast popped up and I put the slices on plates. When the bacon was done I put it all on the plate I had reserved for myself. The three fillies had started to fry the whole package and I wasn’t going to be able to eat it all. Maybe Spike could help me.
After the bacon was finished I poured the bowl of eggs into the frying pan and made quick work of scrambling them. When they were cooked, I portioned them out on each plate. “Girls, your breakfast is finished.”
They came running.
“Wow, this turned out great!”
“Maybe we’ve finally learned how to cook!”
“Did we get cutie marks?”
They all checked, but their hips remained blank. All three faces fell.
“Hey, cheer up. You’ll find your special talents soon enough.” I paused. “At least you’ll get cutie marks. People don’t.”
The Crusaders gathered around the breakfast table. “We heard about some humans gettin’ tattoos. Are those like cutie marks?”
“They might look like cutie marks, but they aren’t,” I stressed. And, to cut off any further ideas in their heads, I added, “Plus, I’m pretty sure they couldn’t be seen through your coat.”
I pushed their plates forward and the food successfully distracted them. I heard steps and Spike came into the room, looking sleepy. He sniffed. “Hey, what’s that?”
I grabbed a plate for him and transferred most of the bacon to it. “Breakfast.”
Spike grinned and began shoveling it into his mouth. The fillies giggled.
As we were finishing up, there was a knock at the door. Spike was already done eating and he got up to answer, leaving the room. “Oh hey, Rainbow.”
“Hey Spike,” I heard her say from the other room. “What’s that smell?”
“Oh, um, sorry. I haven’t washed up after breakfast.”
“Is that…bacon? Denise, what the heck!” Rainbow came into the room looking rather cross, only to be caught in a flying tackle by the Crusaders.
“Rainbow Dash! We’re so excited to see you! We’re going to have an awesome day!”
“We’re going to do fun stuff, right? We already made Denise breakfast, although Spike ate most of the bacon.”
“Denise has been super cool.”
Rainbow gave me a look, although some of her consternation had cooled since learning that the bacon wasn’t my fault.
“Hey girls, why don’t you go get ready?” I said. The three of them quickly dashed away.
I grabbed the plates from the table and transferred them to the sink. Rainbow looked around. “So they actually made breakfast and didn’t burn anything, not even the building? And why did you volunteer to hang out with them? That drives most ponies crazy.”
“I did most of breakfast, but let them take credit,” I said. “Dealing with kids is not really that hard. It’s mostly about clever trickery and deception.”
“You’re such a human,” Rainbow chuckled.
“Speaking of that, I was meaning to ask you: aren’t most ponies uncomfortable about meat? The Crusaders didn’t think bacon was any big deal.”
Rainbow thought for a moment. “I guess it’s just the way we were raised. My generation was one of the first to make contact with Earth, so we might feel a little differently.”
I nodded. “I suppose the Crusaders are younger and more impressionable. And Epic Meal Time left an impression.”
Rainbow facehoofed.
“Hey, don’t blame that one on me,” I said. “Those guys are Canadian. We’re barely the same species.”
“I still say you should hook up with that Canadian guy you met at Halloween.”
I turned to retort, but Rainbow was interrupted from further relationship advice as the Crusaders came back. “We’re all ready to go!”
“What did you have planned today?” Rainbow asked them.
“We want to go to the YMCA and try to get fitness cutie marks! You’d be great at teaching us!”
“Well, I do know a lot about working out,” Rainbow agreed.
I went to get my shoes and purse and the five of us left the library. We walked a short way down the street towards the YMCA. I frowned as a thought occurred to me and I pulled out my phone for a quick internet search.
I looked at Rainbow. “Does YMCA stand for something different in Equestria? Or did an organization calling themselves Young Men’s Christian Association really set up here?”
“I guess I’ve never really thought about it, although I don’t think anypony would have minded if they had.” Rainbow shrugged. “Maybe here it means Young Mare and Colt Association.”
She thought for a moment and then grinned. “Maybe there are denominational recreational facilities in Equestria, such as NSDPWYCPPMIYW, the Non-Specific Deity's Place Where You Can Push or Pull Metal If You Want, but the Village Ponies found it incredibly hard to write a song about it.”
It took me several seconds to process that, but I burst out laughing. The Crusaders looked confused.
“Oh gosh,” I said, still trying to get over my laughter. “I didn’t know you were such a wit, Rainbow.”
“I have my moments,” she chuckled.
“You’re funnier than the Village People,” I confirmed. I thought for a moment. “Are the Village Ponies also a gay group that dresses up?”
“I’m not sure about the gay part,” Rainbow admitted.
The Crusaders had been listening. “What does gay mean?”
Rainbow and I traded glances. I could see the panic in her eyes, and I’m sure I wore a similar expression. I opened my mouth to stammer out something that would hopefully change the subject, but fortunately was saved by perhaps the best distraction in the universe. A purple unicorn in a yellow Lamborghini came rolling down the street and stopped near us at the curb.
Twilight waved to us from behind the wheel, wearing sunglasses and a smile, her mane a little windblown from driving with the top down. “Hello! I’m back!”
For several seconds, neither Rainbow nor I was capable of forming a complete sentence. The Crusaders, on the other hand, rushed over and crowded around Twilight as she got out of the car, peppering her with questions. I noticed that she made sure to remove the keys.
“Where did you get this thing?” asked Rainbow, gesturing at the expensive car.
“The Crown Prince of Dubai gave it to me as a token of friendship,” Twilight explained. She took off her sunglasses and pulled her luggage out of the car. “It’s really flashy and I don’t need to drive very often, but it would have been rude to refuse.”
“What were you doing in the United Arab Emirates?” I asked. “Actually, what were you doing all around the world?”
“Making friends,” said Twilight. “I thought you knew.”
“I thought you were off solving some kind of ancient universal conspiracy.”
Twilight gave Rainbow a pointed look as if she knew exactly where I had heard that story. “No, that’s something I do in my free time. This was a task given to me by Princess Celestia.”
I glanced at the car again. “Well, it looks like you were successful.”
“It was mostly political outreach on behalf of Equestria,” Twilight explained. “I still got to do a lot of networking and visited some really interesting places.”
I ran through a mental list of everything Twilight had called me about in the previous week. “But what does that have to do with the International Standard Kilogram, chinchilla dietary requirements, that spell you had me read, Mardi Gras, or Russian missiles?”
“Complications; don’t worry about it.” Twilight waved a hoof. “Oh, speaking of the missiles – Rainbow, I put in a good word for you with Spitfire.”
“Thanks a lot!” Rainbow smiled.
Twilight grinned. “She wants to talk to you in Canterlot tomorrow.”
Rainbow did a lot more than just smile. “Ohmygosh, really? This is so awesome! Thanks Twilight!”
Twilight turned to me. “Also Denise, I’d like to invite you along to Canterlot, too. Call it a token of my appreciation for your help.”
“Thanks.” I nodded. “Sounds like a good last day in Equestria. I have to go home on Sunday morning.”
Just then, Pinkie slid out from under the car. “Hey Twilight! You’re back! This calls for a party! I’ll invite everypony! And Denise!”
“How did you get under there?” I sputtered.
Rainbow touched my shoulder and shook her head. “Don’t go there – it’s Pinkie.”
Regardless of how she fit under a low-slung sports car or when she’d gotten there, I was agreeable to another Pinkie party. The Crusaders were willing to put their trip to the YMCA on hold for the moment.
At the party, I saw what was apparently most of the townsponies. I still didn’t know how Pinkie managed to organize events on a whim and still manage to invite so many. Regardless, it was a very good party.
Rarity came over to me. “Don’t drink too much, I’ll need to get you fitted for a new outfit.”
“Huh? Why?”
“You’ll need one for where Twilight is taking you tomorrow,” she told me.
“Where is that?” I asked. “Twilight didn’t say.”
Rarity nodded and smiled. “It’s a surprise. So, how do you like your dresses?”
Stats
Page generated in 0.03 seconds
Total duration
1,067 users online
2,194,473 hits today, 2,571,732 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
WEEEE MORE TOTALLYNOTABRONYAWESOMENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Now just make Valient tag along with Twilight into Equestria Girls so he can deconstruct the high school cliches. THAT would be funny.
)
3240032
Its called the Willis tower now. They changed the name a couple of years ago for whatever reason. I like sears tower more, personally.
I've probably given this story three thumbs ups by now that actually register. I'm sure that's not a problem anyways.
You are going to write a story on whatever Twilight did, right? Or will that forever be a noodle incident?
3243209
THE NOODLE INCIDENT! I love Calvin and Hobbes!
So... were gonna get a story detailing twilight's adventures, right?
NOPE. Get yo flank back here. :| .... Now Twilight... you have fucked with the minds of all of the readers for way too long. That goes double for you too, author.
Answers. We need them. D: Otherwise Author gets a death glare, and Twilight gets a thousand years Magic Kindergarten
...we all need hobbies, I guess....
"Friendship" Sure.
I wonder if she drives with mostly hooves or mostly magic? And when the heck did Twilight get the free time to take driver's ed?
She probably just read the owner's manual and thought, "that's all I need to know."
fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/156/9/6/_gift__twilight_sparkle_s_lamborghini_miura_2006_by_viperdash_gts_r-d67xtoy.jpg
I, er, wow.
Hell no, little miss complications, that ain't kosher. Spill the details.
I thought I recognized that NSDPWYCPPMIYW joke.
well, now I want a picture of Twilight behind the wheel of a Yellow Lambo. And then I want Dash in a Ferrari.
this is a surprisingly fun read.
I really hope we are actually going to find out what she needs the missiles for.
It's obvious by now that those incidents are actually adventures you had in the middle of your travels Twilight. At least the good thing you confirmed is that each adventure you had was separate rather than an interconnecting problem that would've end badly for both worlds if you didn't help out... right? I really want to know but Denise seems to be the kind of person who wouldn't ask anything further about that though.
Wait, why did Russian missiles remind Twilight of the Wonderbolts? That sounds slightly worrying, to be perfectly honest.
3244781 Because she talked with Spitfire.
Obviously Twilight was celebrating Mardi Gras with new friends when a mad man with an arsenal of Russian missiles attacked the city. Twilight needed knowledge on the International Standard Kilogram in order to understand the measurements used to locate the missiles' range finder. However she was surprised to find that all the missiles had hungry chinchillas inside thus requiring knowledge on how to feed them. Not to mention spell usage in the fixing of damage.
Either that or an army of sentient hungry chinchillas attacked a Mardi Gras party that happened to be housing Russian missiles beneath it.
3245077
3244955
You forgot Bejing, Denise.
3245358 That one seemed fairly normal compared to the rest.
3243508
No Trial!
Twilight is preparing for a full scale invasion of Earth. I know it!
3243165
I think I heard something about how the people who paid money for it are pissed off because nobody is calling it the Willis Tower, and still calling it the Sears Tower.
Woman drivers
Damnit, you can't thumbs-up a story more than once... grrr.
“Those guys are Canadian. We’re barely the same species.”
Hey! I'm Canadian, and... oh, wait... never mind, you're actually right. Sorry aboot that, eh?
I lost it at the Canadian part
Feelings mutual north of the border
A Lambo? In MY Canterlot? It's more likely than you think.
3247514
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/098/174/1288224868527.jpg
“Those guys are Canadian. We’re barely the same species.”
Let's see. We're nice, polite, relative non-violent. No doubt aboot it, we're definitely not like the average human. We're far superior, eh.
3243288 It's a term commonly used to refer to events that happened off-panel or off-screen that the viewer/reader never gets to find out the details of. Calvin and Hobbes is of course the source of the trope's name. See: Noodle Incident
3316228
so... what? STDs? You'll have to forgive me. I'm one of those freaks who has chosen to be chaste and celibate until marriage, and am still a virgin.
Australians agree, Canadians are part of the human race and we have no idea what Americans are.
If you disagree with my racist view please know that I am not alone.
3356289 Thanks for the comments. I'm hoping to have a new chapter out soon.
That made me laugh so hard for a good five minutes! First the CMC somehow managing to get bacon and then the NSDPWYCPPMIYW! That was just.....wow! I can't believe how brilliant that was! I'll probably randomly burst out laughing during work tomorrow it was so funny!
3356289
Americans are the next step on the evolutionary ladder.
I'm torn between abject horror and ALL THE YES.
And Twilight? In a Lamborghini? With SUNGLASSES? Dayum, Rainbow Dash, move over. There's a new cool mare in town stealin' yo' thunder.
Totally lost my shit on that one.
Dragon
You need to write a story about Twilight's adventure around the world.
"Parklife!" 0:56-1:00