A different approach to Rainbow Dash's story in Episode 2. The most loyal of ponies faces the most difficult test of her virtue; does she hold the greater loyalty to her friends' wishes and esteem for her, or their safety and wellbeing?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Re: Foresight
Still eagerly awaiting the reveal of the new big bad, since, if not NMM or Luna, it has to fall to something or something else, right? (though I s'pose it still could be one of them, even though I wouldn't like it so much...never been one for that particular gambit)
Anyways, still enjoying this expansion (and hoo boy, how much of an expansion its become with the newly introduced kingdoms) of the pilot. I'd like to see a bit more character/relationship building here, mayhaps in some of the quieter moments before we get a storm since otherwise we have a band of heroes that is less than unified even despite the perceived betrayal. Since they're not being joined by their joint defeat of NMM, something's got to happen.
Still, really nice work.
856
Hey mate, thanks for the comment! Sorry, I tend to forget about this place.
As for the gambit/reveal thing- yeah. I'm not keen on most of the established themes we have out there. It's not that they don't work- they worked great the first time, an the 30th, and the 465th.
I'll keep your comments close to mind as I continue writing sir. ... oh wait. I don't think I've even posted chapter 4 here yet! Woops.
Re: Bereavement
And we have the from bad to worse moment, don't we? I swear, Fluttershy's starting to be the easiest target of breaking someone to elicit a response (I should know, I'm doing it as I type...well, before and after really, but yeah).
Anyways, I'm not quite on board with your Twilight...she feels right for the most part as someone that was beginning to open up for the first(?) time before being unceremoniously snakebit by a potential friend, but then she seems a helluva lot more determined and reckless than I would have thought (justifiable due to the removal of Celestia and the cutting down of what appear to be her basic belief in the Sun Princess by Luna, but off-putting all the same).
Your Nightmare on the other hand worked...definitely worked. Had me worried a moment when she went to the thighs *insert the I've seen enough anime joke here* but at least that was over quickly enough. Batshit crazy-evil genie's back in the bottle hopefully though perhaps not for long given the run away scene. Definitely not buying her account of what happened to Celestia (mostly because I'm not sure you'd go that far...too much of an equilibrium shift), but interesting all the same.
Anyways, nice job. Certainly seems to be getting darker and darker though.
Link no longer working for chapter 4?
An utterly and completely awesome story. I wish I could write anywhere near your level.
I'm sorry guys, I'm transferring the chapters over, but damned if I have the time to reformat everything. The nuances and thought italics would just take time I don't have today. Sorry. Not lazy, just really busy.
Right. So what say we all pretend I actually DO know that thoughts should be italicized? Sorry all, I just don't have the time to go into the formatting on here.
If you want to read this fic in it's properly nuanced G-Doc glory, it may be found here -
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/07/story-divergence.html
And yes, I'm afraid to say it is on hiatus. This is the first day off I've had in 2 weeks. Life is currently quite insane. Cheers all!
--
PS, Sup DJ! Long time mate! Hope you've been well :)
:3 very very good story, i really liked the fighting
D8
Oh snap. This is crazy. The good kind of crazy.
Lyra as a Mysterious Stranger type.... interesting.
That's some damn fine combat writing you have going on there. Really enjoying this.
This is by far one of my most favored stories, which, sadly, hasn't had an update in what feels like -ages-.
Nevertheless, as long as the story isn't abandoned, I'll patiently wait for an update.
A 5/5 from me and cheers for an awesome fic :)
What the hay is going on here?!
How long is this hiatus going to last?!
I need my fix of your verbal cocain!
Hey all. Life still insane, that's not going away any time soon me thinks. Regardless, I've been pluggin along as much as I'm able. More than halfway done with the next chapter. Bloody thing just won't fkn end. It's like - "Oh cool, that's gonna be an interesting sequence of events." 15 pages later I'm still trying to get through two out of five. Balls.
Thank you for your comments all, I'll do my best to respond to any direct questions within a week from now on. Cheers!
108437
As long as you're still plunking away at this, and, you know, not DEAD or anything, we should be fine.
...note to self: Find out What the Bucking Fetlocks is taking Stargate: Equestria so long to update. It must be closing in on six months by now...
108437
Don't rush yourself. Good stories take time and devoted fans will wait for you.
I've waited seven weeks for more. I can last.
New chapter incoming :)
Thank Celestia!
More is on it's way. How much longer?
201497
Oh, right about now :)
Thanks a bunch!
Wahoo! Update!
It's ALIVE!!! BUWAHAHAHAA~ ermm... excuse me, I don't know where that came from.
Glad to see this story wasn't abandoned, though, and glad to see we are finally getting some answers.
However one thing is bugging me - Lyra being new in Ponyville. Correct me if I'm wrong, but according to canon, didn't she move there or something at the same time Twilight did? During the first episode we can actually see her waving to Twilight in Canterlot, and then later in the background in quite a number of Ponyville episodes.
Wait... why am I mentioning canon in a fic that's based around an alternate timeline // universe?
Moving to the next part - the guards. Hell, when guards get an order to bring in 6 ponies alive and take that as "As long as they are still breathing we can keep breaking their limbs" it kind of makes me wonder who's the "bad guys" in this story...
Any way - cheers for the update! Hope the next one won't take so long that we start forgetting about the fic, though...
~F~
205844
Under the circumstances, I think it's likely that any loyal soldier would want nothing more than to violently abuse anyone they believed to be directly connected to the loss of their leader. Given that most Canterlot guards are likely not true soldiers, it's possible that they don't have the restraint clearly shown by their superiors.
That said, I hope that each and every one of those "guards"torturing Dash receive what they've given twofold. In fact, I hope they're not mentioned. That way, I can imagine all the horrors I like on them and no one can stop me!
As an aside, if only there was a crazed Twilight emote. It would see judicious use from me right now.
Let it be know, I greatly desire feedback comments!
205844
So the Lyra time-line thing— bear in mind that this story takes place right at the beginning of Season 1. As for her waving to Twi in the first episode... yeah, that doesn't really work for me to acknowledge in this story. AU an all that :)
> kind of makes me wonder who's the "bad guys" in this story...
Well thank you. Exactly what I wanted to hear.
208478
Fine analysis sir, and thanks for reading. Out of curiosity, what exactly is it that would inspire you to post the 'bat-shit crazy Twilight' emote?
209270
I can imagine...
Luna // Nightmare moon hasn't really done anything to contradict anything she says;
The dragons had good reasoning behind the Ponyville incident;
Lyra claims to not be involved, or try not to be;
Guards and the Council are just in disarray and desperately try to pin the blame on anyone they can get their hooves on;
As for Celestia... well, here's my prime suspect. Wonderbolts being secretly assassins? What ruler would need a secret group of killers at her side posing as stuntponies? That's just sinister. However we don't really know the full story. Obviously the world you created is very different from the canon one, adding more races, nations and history involving those, so having assassins at your side might actually be a must in your Equestria...
Either way - I am sure, with all the questions this story raised so far, we'll have one heck of a plot twist. Looking forward to it!
~F~
209270
I think it adequately described my mindset at the time, and, oddly enough, I think I'd get more than a little use out of it.
Not bad~ Forgive the pun, but that was an interesting divergence from cannon.
Oh and YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LUNA
FIGHT SCENE.
Marvelous!
Gotta get ready for work, but this is shaping up nicely! Bravo~
502967
Thank you Shy, I'm rather pleased with the fight scenes.
And snap, you're reading it here? I didn't really put the care into doing all the script editing when I put it up here. I really suggest (see Beg) that you read it from the Gdocs angle. Like, really. I'm glad you're checking it out, can't wait to hear how you like it!
510935
Alright, I'll fish out the Gdocs links.
Really though, this is some pretty good work. If I can't get back to it today, I'll definitely pick up again tomorrow.
Your Luna is very, very well composed. I'll be taking notes, I think~
512279
Thank you sir, good of you to say so.
I love notes! I'm fond of bumps too, so don't be afraid to dump them all in my thread for this fic on PC if you prefer. Looking forward to your further thoughts.
512445
I'm a dunkass and immediately forgot you said you wanted me to read the Gdocs. I'll continue these shenanigans on your ponychan thread.
Clear! *Pathunka!*
Its alive, but not responding sir. Maybe we should stop watching it like this?
Keep up hope Ignis! Seattle has to write someday.
Yes, Doctor Wind Blade. Come on Seattle...
664525
Haha, sorry Ignis. I know it's been an absurdly long time. If it's any consolation, know that I've got about 25 pages down. It's about halfway done. I've been having some serious issues in motivation finishing this chapter (hopefully the last, barring an epilogue), but it's getting there. It's really good to know there are a few people who still care about this story. That helps.
While saying these kind of things has been stupid in the past, I hope to have it done in the next few weeks.
664810 Don't rush yourself. It's nice to see you're still working on it.
Keep going. I don't want to see it end, but you da boss.
Yes for the epilogue!
25 pages you say...
"It even tore through the walls of the castle once or twice, an’ almost took me out a couple times!” Dash exclaimed, her eyes large and voice animated with the recounting."
It occurs to me that this kind of damage should be readily visible, considering the gaping holes that would be present in the castle walls. If nothing else it would serve as something of a measure of proof affirming Rainbows story, yes?
769683
That... is a fine point sir. Thank you for that.
I would like to read what Dash's reaction to twilight is and vice versa, Divergence is one of the best fanfics I have ever read and I hope you will finish it.
I see you haven't updated in months, will you ever finish it? Oh and btw the address you gave in you authors note was fine until i tried to read chapter four. It seemed to be broken. Anyways good work... Finish it... Thanks
This was the first fic I read and absolutely loved it! The only problem is I still haven't finished it!
1069870
I love you
>I would like to read what Dash's reaction to twilight is and vice versa
(It's pretty fuckin' intense, if I do say so myself)
1141695
and you
>I see you haven't updated in months, will you ever finish it?
Yep, for sure. There's... a lot to weave together in the next couple chapters. I'm working on it.
1178859
and you.
>This was the first fic I read and absolutely loved it
Really?? The first fic you read of mlp? Thats pretty touching mate.
>The only problem is I still haven't finished it!
Well that makes two of us!
It's so pretty, with them titles like that! Whoever helped you make those is a really sexy devil!
I was going to wait until I had read everything that has been released so far, but I have to comment on this. Lyra tipped it over the edge. This has my attention well and true, haha. I love the alternate timeline, and the psychological twisting 'Luna' has been getting up to has been very entertaining indeed. This is shaping up to be quite a ride, one that I am looking forward to the rest of.
Oh, and Tom Bombadil!Lyra. Need I say more, really?
Sweet mother of Celestia, it updated
An update? Hell yeah!
Looks like it is coming to an end soon , just 1 more chapter and then the epilogue?