Anime, gamer, Brony. Nough said
After being targeted by otherworldly beings, Sweetie belle is taken into the custody of C.H.A.O.S. and must help them figure out what is going on. Will sweetie belle Survive what is to come? How will she keep this a secret from The CMC and her family
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yes i will respond to everyone in the comments
This looks quite interesting. I did notice a couple errors in the Long Description, though.
Sweetie Belle
Survive
That being said, I shall go read this now, cause it does look interesting
Ok, I just read this, and I did find quite an amount of errors in this chapter. The list is long enough that it would be better for me to recommend that you find an editor to help you with your writing. Also, there are numerous writing guides out there on the net that can help you, including on this very site: FiMfiction.net Writing Guide.
I shall be following this fic, to see what you do with it.
5295090 Ya it has minor editing as of now but i have an editor that will be looking at it today
Thank you for pointing those out in the description though
5294931 Ameture or experienced, i wouldn't point out the small mistakes is saw in the first place, they were to tiny to make someone really care, good job all the way around.
Ah I remember sitting at the lunch table as he was writing this. But I am disappoint that he did not include that Scootaloo is in fact a bastard. I shall be seeing you soon. Also just a heads up Italics and bold do not work on Fim like MS Word. For Italics you have to do [ i] [ /i] and bold [ b] [ /b] (without the spaces. Its basically like working with HTML but instead of <> its []
5296196 Will fix
)
No im not going to say that (not saying its not true ether
but ya eevee was there when i started writing this.
5296168 thank you
but i still want to put out good work regardless
I will focus on the quality of the story before i worry on the grammar and spelling ect...
Nicely done! Like the story so far. keep it up!
5362848
Thanks
Chapter 3 is where it starts getting good though
Hmm. This story seems pretty interesting, but it could use a lot of work on the grammar front. I'd suggest focusing primarily on your punctuation within your dialogue. Also there were a few times where I think a simple spell check would catch a number of errors. Aside from that, these first two chapters seem kind of short and the introduction to the characters seems rather curt.
I am interested to see where it goes, but I do think it needs a lot of work, and perhaps consider mentioning in the description that it is set in the EQG universe.
~SilentBelle
5363371
Thank you so much
Most of the characters seen are secondary and based solely on attributes seen in EG/MLP and sweetie is kind of in a depression right now (Explained later) so ya this is all exposition and set up for the good stuff.
the characters of sweetie and the other main characters will develop a lot after the initial conflict.
I must say that this all means a lot to me as your story was one of my first fan fictions that i had ever read and it was an inspiration to see what could be done simply with the power of the written word. And again thank you for taking a look at my story.
Who ever can guess who is introduced in the next chapter first gets a cookie (not gonna give a cookie till its posted to avoid spoilers though)
5381543 Thanks