1. Member Since 16th Apr, 2012
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Now that I'm done with all my obligations, I shall wri- oh look, a distraction!

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#1 · 126w, 3d ago · 36 · · Dear Diary ·

i want to see how the family life goes..

#2 · 126w, 3d ago · 11 · 1 · Dear Diary ·

Oh my! :rainbowkiss:

That was interesting!

Not to mention very well written! :pinkiehappy:

Good job!

#3 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

sorry

4-12-1;2-8-4;1-1-3;2-1-1;7-3-4;3-2-1;6-1-4;7-6-3

#5 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

I just have to look to your avatar for a response to this: "Why so hilarious?" I don't know, it just is. :pinkiegasp::rainbowlaugh:

#7 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5302874 Disliking it, maybe? Still, OFC, you could at least explain why >:\

#8 · 126w, 3d ago · 11 · · Dear Diary ·

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Take my favorite, and care for it. Raise it well, so it can be the best favorite ever.

#9 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

Will there be more of this?

#10 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

That Vilian looks better as a female, sorry i forgett how to spell his name but there is only one in this story.

Not bad.

#11 · 126w, 3d ago · 5 · · Dear Diary ·

So, did the heat magic only affect the temple grounds, or did it bring a massive, although brief, orgy upon the whole of Equestria? :rainbowkiss:

I really hope it's the latter :twilightblush:

#12 · 126w, 3d ago · 2 · · Dear Diary ·

Looks like a big 'thank you' from me. I've been wondering if someone was gonna do a R63 story regarding those two. This pairing is as rare as heck, even rarer that it'd be r63.

Anyway, it's really well written. Character interaction was great, the pacing was perfect imo, and despite the fact they're gender swapped (so personality doesn't have to be perfect to canon) their personalities felt pretty dead on and quite believable. You definitely earned a fav and a thumbs up! :pinkiehappy:

#13 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5303452 more like the area of the ancient city imo. It was designed to help with the city's population problems

#14 · 126w, 3d ago · 1 · · Dear Diary ·

this was a pretty good read, I wonder how Derringer is going to handle a hormonal pregnant lady?

#15 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

Great story:pinkiehappy:

#16 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

Lol

Ok I liked this story a lot! Now I hope to see more sometime :3

#17 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5302748 what are you sorry for?

#18 · 126w, 3d ago · 1 · 1 · Dear Diary ·

How bad is the 'Sex' thing? I don't like clop.

#19 · 126w, 3d ago · 2 · · Dear Diary ·

>>5303888 its pretty vanilla, though a bit crazed due to the magic. Like on a scale of 1 to Molestia, its a 2 and that's being generous. It starts just after Ahuizota puts the final ring on, and ends at the [*****] break. After that, its some talking and simple shipping. :twilightsmile:

#20 · 126w, 3d ago · 3 · · Dear Diary ·

I was like that for almost throughout the whole story....

...until I burst out laughing.

With that out of the way, please tell me what you liked. I have plans for a bonus chapter or two if you guys want them.

Holy shit yes!

#21 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5303994 Okay, I trust you for now. Thanks for your info without spoiling... much... I will be seeing you again in the future! For now, this story's in my 'read-later'.

~All My Best

#22 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

Oh those crossed out sections....:rainbowlaugh:

#23 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

I disagree with the title some. That ancient ritual worked just fine! :derpytongue2:

Just not in the way Ahuizota thought...

#24 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

Good another!

#25 · 126w, 3d ago · 1 · · Dear Diary ·

>>5303452 Me too, and it would be great to see him write some different (and awkward) scenarios across Equestria. :raritywink:

Comment posted by Speedyblupi deleted at 9:13pm on the 23rd of November, 2014
#28 · 126w, 3d ago · 8 · · Dear Diary ·

R63 Daringzotl? All my yes! All my yes!

#29 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5304579 I had a feeling you'd like it. Was it better than you anticipated?

#30 · 126w, 3d ago · 1 · · Dear Diary ·

I thought this was so interesting. I love the idea of R63 Ahuizotl :rainbowkiss:

#31 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

I can imagine Rainbow Dash (Blitz in this case, I guess?) reading this and being like, :rainbowhuh:

Very well done, in any case. Take a thumbs up, and a favorite.

#32 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5304643 naw, she/he would either squee at the ship or cry because her/his OC (totally not a self insert >.>) isn't shipped with Derring Do

#33 · 126w, 3d ago · 1 · · Dear Diary ·

I honestly think this is one of the best fics ive ever read especially in a series.

#34 · 126w, 3d ago · 1 · 5 · Dear Diary ·

Mmmmm. Lovely. Though, I find distaste in poorlywritten mindset, (even under magical influence...) 'tis the reason why I always study the matter. While it is your story and your work, there are very few places that could ahve been a lot better. Ending is perfect, however, a few spots along the end of the climb to the apex were off, as well as nearly every bit of the wind down.

See, it's not the failure to recognize the more complicated to understand fact that people react to certain things specifically, it's more a mistake on your part for not considering their personalities. A personality change can be worthwhile and desired by some people for Ahuizota, making her more of a lust craved being, but changing the mindset of Derring as well would be a mistake.

Specifically, Ahuizota, even with a change of mindset, like one craving more towards Lustful intentions, would have given a much different reply than when she woke up. Acting with lustful intentions over the course of being influenced by the magic of the temple is perfect. Derring is on another topic and it's a bit hard for me to think it over...

I guess I could start with saying he'd give a reply better than "I'll take full responsibility." See, Derring is supposed to be one of those "cool" characters. So, something more along the lines of him replying to Ahuizota with "I don't mind.", is about mroe right than what you originally wrote him in as replying to him acting smuggly and saying he'd take responsibility.

Wah tyou could have done was get Ahuizota to react more...well, the term could be "more clearly." She overreacted and 'forgot', which people don't do. If she she reacted with a more calm reply, say her waking up abruptly, but remembering the events of the past...erm...day (?) it would be easier to understand than a comical whowhathowwherewhy. With her smooth reaction, Derring could have replied with the proper mindset.

All in all, there are a few other personality sets that could have replaced the two, of whcih one was a fatherly-motherly personality of the two. Given that the artifact was meant for breeding, it'd fit. This idea is also a bit on the original side, and this story is completely original, so, for a first, it's very well done.

4 out of 5. Makes me want to write my own evil heiress and hero love combination. I do not intend to do an Eris, based story, though I ahve a cute/sad one I coudl write about ehr...

Do you take offense to constructive criticism? Or do you jsut take offense to this in general because it doens't look like criticism to me, and I wrote it. :/

#35 · 126w, 3d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5304893 I understand where you're coming from:moustache:. I was trying my best to get the personalities right throughout it, especially at the end:twilightsmile:. I felt like Derring didn't outright hate Ahuizota, more like he didn't like what she did and tried to stop her for some reason :trixieshiftright:(much like the one for preventing the rings from coming together). Which is why he turns to liking Ahuizota at the end and, knowing that he was responsible for her pregnancy, he decides to give her a chance.:trixieshiftleft:

However, this fic was also written for the silliness of the situation:pinkiehappy:. The thoughts of a tsundere Ahuizota being embarrassed wouldn't leave unless i wrote it down:rainbowlaugh:.

Also, i like constructive critiques

#36 · 126w, 3d ago · · 1 · Dear Diary ·

>>5305001

Understandable. Although I do have distaste for tsundere, I won't berate a writer for using such a method. Or anyone for that matter. To all his own.

#37 · 126w, 2d ago · 1 · · Dear Diary ·

>>5305001 so, are you going to write another chapter for this?

#38 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5305297 Most likely. I had some silly ideas of them meeting Derring's parents, and shenanigans of the married life

#39 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

Derring-

“Let me guess.” A smug voice said behind her, “You thought you would gain control of the sun?”

Ahuizota-Uh, yeah.  That's what I just said.


Interesting story.

#40 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5302748 4-12-1;2-8-4;1-1-3;2-1-1;7-3-4;3-2-1;6-1-4;7-6-3

Ring any bells?

Anyways, I love this story. Really hoping for a sequel.

#41 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

Definitely gonna have to do the whole post-birth family epilogue thing.

It's fun, even if it is a little short.

Edit: I just realized that this could be turned into a series of slice-of-life one-shots detailing the everyday lives of these two. Fluff with comedy, romance, and some more development between them as they adjust from their...previous occupation towards a more sedate lifestyle and have it all lead up to the birth.

The diary concept is an interesting one that could persist and be used as bookends to the chapters and a means of skipping through time in a less jarring fashion.

#42 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

Overall, I liked this story. The diary bit at the start was kind of off-putting; it's probably just me, though. Everything afterwards was fantastic. You didn't go overboard with the clop, which is a small blessing in itself. The pacing was great. I never once thought a scene had overstayed its welcome, or flew by too fast. The concept was decent, but for someone with such vivid fantasies, I can't help but wonder if Ahuizota was entirely ignorant of the purpose of the rings. You also left yourself some loose ends, which is always a great thing to do if you're encouraging spin-offs or eventually plan to do another chapter. Also, rule 63, which I almost-immediately approve.

All said, if I had to rate this, it would be around 8.5/10. But I don't have to rate it, so the numbers mean nothing.

>>5305660 Is that a WoT avatar!? That's a rare sight to me!

#43 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5305697 huh, i thought that space was weird. No idea what it means. Looks like those ciphers on Gravity Falls that i don't know how to decode

#44 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5305660

You get 5 mustaches for that WoT avatar.

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

All hail Matrim Cauthon!

#45 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5305790 Thanks. Glad you liked it. Btw, if it wasn't implied enough, Ahuizota isn't exactly the best translator. Plus, she didn't quite understand the context of the temple like Derring did, hence the mistake.:twilightsheepish:

And yes, i do plan on a bonus chapter or two after this. Just silly romance shenanigans.:rainbowkiss:

#46 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5305702 Ohhh, much fluff of the romantic life after this. Next one is meeting the parents:rainbowkiss:. That one is going to be really funny. I may do some preggo and family fluff as well.

#47 · 126w, 2d ago · 3 · · Dear Diary ·

This fic started in kek, then it got hot, then ended in feels.

Gr8 job m8

"Your Mom and Dad were arch-nemeses for a long time, Sweetie," Derring said, smiling gently as he nuzzled his six-year-old daughter. She giggled. "But then we had rival sex. And it was great."

Yaocihuatl just stared at him blankly.

#48 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5306019 :rainbowderp::raritystarry:Wow, I might actually use that quote, and that name. I'll be sure to credit you.:twilightsmile:

#49 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

“Derring…” she growled out, “You were supposed to finish inside me!”

The strapped down Pegasus gulped, “Thing is, I don’t have a condom on me right now. Thanks to that ring tower’s magic, if I did finish inside you, there might have been a chance I would have gotten you pregnant. You don’t want that, do you?”

“In all seriousness, I do have another question to ask you.” His tone made Ahuizota pay attention, “After recent events and confessions, I realize I have to take some responsibility for my actions.” He glanced to Ahuizota’s belly, “What I’m asking is, will you give me a chance to help raise our child?”

:twilightangry2: God dammit, Derring, if only you listened to Ahuizota! Now she'll get pregnant, but it's good that you're maning up and taking responsibility for your reckless actions. Damn punk stallion knocking up this innocent creature who harmlessly wanted to control the world...

This isn't intended to start anything; I'm just wondering what the mindset behind it is. Good story, regardless of this nitpick, though~

#50 · 126w, 2d ago · · · Dear Diary ·

>>5305987 Prince of Ravens OP. Please nerf.

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