A Typical Morning For Earwig

by Mr. Grimm

A Typical Morning For Earwig

Earwig hovered through the palace halls in his usual grim demeanor, a tray of food held in his shriveled hooves. As he passed by numerous air-shafts and chutes he heard his fellow changelings zooming in the lower levels of the hive. Since the colony had overtaken the abandoned castle some hundred years ago, they had converted it into their liking. Beautiful palace hallways had been covered in layer upon layer of dried slime, giving it an organic, cave-like appearance. Earwig had wished that they had left some of the castle’s original beauty intact, but his brethren were a wild bunch. When they weren’t out on the Queen’s conquests, they were allowed to amuse themselves in the sublevels, where they would pass the time by racing each other or see how far they could toss priceless relics from the castle’s golden age.

Earwig started up a long stairwell into the highest tower. As he started upwards, he thought the same thoughts he had every day since his hatching, which had been so long ago he could barely remember it. As advisor to Queen Chrysalis, he had been by her side since she had hatched, and had watched her grow from a grub into the malicious creature she was today. Though ancient, he could remember that there had been no queen before her. She had always been meant to be the Queen of the Changelings, and in turn, he was always meant to be her adviser.

She was immortal, but Earwig on the other hand, was not. Not technically, anyway. Changelings were basically immortal so long as they weren't killed by an outside force. Chrysalis acted as this outside force most of the time. She had first killed him out of displaced rage very early in the colony's history. However, using her powerful magic, she had been able to revive him shortly afterwards. Since then, he had been revived three-hundred-and-forty-seven times.

Earwig had a rather grim view of the world. He seemed to have a charmed memory compared to the rest of the horde. They never seemed to recall or notice the perpetual failure of their conquests, and continued to serve under their queen with unending enthusiasm. True, they had bested a few kingdoms in their days. But they all thought that things would change for the better; that they would eventually take over Equestria as their queen envisioned they would. In reality, things always stayed the same. History repeated itself, and life would go on. Earwig saw himself, the Changelings, and Chrysalis, as cogs in some massive machine that served no definitive purpose.

Earwig took a deep breath as he knocked on the heavy oak door of Chrysalis’s chamber.

“Who is it?” came the queen’s shrill voice.

“Earwig, your majesty,” Earwig replied in his monotonous drone, “I’ve brought you your breakfast.”

“Well come on then!” snapped Chrysalis, “Hurry up! You’re late again, as usual!” Earwig sighed. He was never late. The queen was simply in a foul mood on account of yet another failed conquest. He glanced down at his hooves, which were carrying the tray of food. He reached out with his leg and nudged the door open. Immediately his eyes were greeted with the exquisitely lavish room of the Queen. Decorated with the luxurious spoils of her raids, she had fashioned it to resemble the living quarters of royals she had conquered. It was the only part of the castle that didn’t look like a catastrophe. A huge bed with down blankets sat near a stained-glass window that was riddled with cracks, and ornately carved furniture was set about in an orderly manner.

The only fault of the room was that on the wall opposite to the bed was a large tangle of green, sticky web-like substance. In the center of the cobweb was a blue unicorn, bound tight in the organic thread with only her head and neck free. A gag made of the same material was wrapped around her mouth. Surrounding her head were several dark burn marks in the stone wall. The unfortunate captive looked at Earwig with pleading magenta eyes. Earwig sighed as he walked over to Queen Chrysalis, who sat lazily on an overly plush chair with a bored look on her face.

“Here you are, your majesty,” said Earwig as he set the tray down on a nearby table, “Fresh honey and toast.”

“I hate honey,” the queen snapped without even looking at him. Her twisted horn suddenly glowed a bright green as she sent a bolt of energy soaring at the captive’s head. It narrowly missed by a few centimeters and carved out a gash in the rock behind her. The captive shuddered as her eyes clouded with tears. Earwig pitied the poor creature. She had been captured about a week ago by the palace guards who had found her snooping around the property. Earwig had personally spoken to her in the dungeon under the guise of another prisoner. While he had been hoping for some intelligent conversation, he instead found her to be dreadfully narcissistic, almost rivaling Chrysalis herself. The whole conversation had been entirely one-sided, with the unicorn talking endlessly about herself. After taking her to Queen’s chambers, Earwig was certain that she was getting an overdose of her own medicine.

“You shouldn’t play with your food, you know,” he muttered. To sustain her need to feed off of love, Chrysalis had been siphoning the unicorn’s obsession with herself. Earwig couldn’t understand how Chrysalis could stomach the stuff. Narcissistic love tasted horribly bitter and stale.

“I’ll do what I want with her,” growled the queen, “She’s my prisoner.” Chrysalis suddenly flashed an evil grin. “Watch this.” Her horn began to glow, and the foul strings that entangled the unicorn suddenly became charged with electrical energy. The mare twitched in pain as her mane and horn sparked. Chrysalis gave out a childish laugh of delight. Earwig did not approve of her behavior, but was simply sighed and went to work setting out her meal. Chrysalis eventually lost interest in her prisoner and turned to watch him. Earwig began to spread a fresh batch of royal jelly on to the toast. Chrysalis loved the stuff, almost as much as she loved the taste of love.

“I think I’ll begin plotting my revenge tomorrow,” said the queen as she snatched the toast from his hooves, “What do you know about long-distance spells, Earwig?” Earwig thought for a moment as she took a bite of her toast.

“I’m not very well educated in that particular area,” he finally replied, “But I don’t think that we should try again so soon.” Earwig personally would never have tried at all. He had none of the aspirations his queen had.

“Are you kidding?” scoffed Chrysalis, sending crumbs into his face, “We need to strike while the iron is hot! They won’t be expecting a second invasion so soon.”

“You are correct in assuming that, your majesty,” Earwig said mechanically, “It is unlikely they will expect us to attack so soon after our defeat. But I must remind you, the colony is still recovering.” Chrysalis let out a frustrated groan and fired another shot at her prisoner’s head. It almost singed off the unicorn’s ear.

“How much longer until we’re at full power again?”

“If I may say so, your majesty,” Earwig said as he moved in front of her chair, “I think it would do us all good if we took an intermission from our conquests.” Chrysalis looked at him as though his antennae had caught fire.

“Are you mad?” she asked with a roll of her emerald eyes, “How else are we supposed to get food and supplies? Or love, for that matter?”

“Your majesty, other races are quite capable of providing for themselves. I believe that we are also capable. The colony is very industrious.”

“They’re also idiotic,” Chrysalis said icily, “I have a hard enough time directing them on raids. There’s no chance in Tartarus that they’d ever be able to make anything close to a civilized society.” Earwig sighed and went over to clean up her breakfast. He was well aware that everything she was saying was false. He knew that the Changelings could in fact be just as successful as any of the other races of Equestria. The problem lay with their queen: She was just too lazy to guide them properly. Chrysalis could rule an organized kingdom if she wanted to, but found it easier to take from others. It was for this particular reason that Earwig had lost faith in his kind. They were completely able to change, but they never did.

“If you really loved your subjects,” he breathed, “you would do what’s best for them.”

“I do love my subjects!” barked Chrysalis, “And I’ve always done what’s best for them! Watch your tongue, Earwig, while you still have one.”

“Forgive me, your majesty,” Earwig apologized as he swept off her table, “It was not my place to question you.”

“Good,” said the queen, “And take that sniveling grub worm with you on your way out.” She pointed a hoof at the miserable unicorn. “She’s starting to taste stale.”

“As you wish, your majesty,” said Earwig as he picked up the tray. He started over toward the prisoner, who shivered with fear as he drew closer. Using his magic, he lifted her, cocoon and all, from the strands of webbing. “I shall look into invasion strategies immediately,” Earwig called out as he turned to leave.

“Ah, excellent,” Chrysalis purred as she rubbed her hooves together, “You’re an idiot, Earwig, but you’re a useful idiot.” Earwig sighed and began the long trip back down the stairwell.

Comments

[Municipal Engines]

Poor Earwig. Such is the tragedy of a competent adviser to a brutish, incompetent evil overlord.

This was entertaining.

[That_one_guy]

He has a mustache and a monocle.

You cannot unsee.

[Azarune]

Hmm, I feel the yearning for moar. Best wishes!

[Scoo]

507363

A changeling with a mustache and monocle?

I don't think I want to unsee that.

[madgamer1228]

This was really great. I like the whole changelings not being able to change thing.

[Drhoz]

Amusing

[Dr Gluefoot]

666 views. I'm not going to ruin that by reading it. I will favourite for later though.

[Mr. Grimm]

1486183

666 views? I AM COMPLETE!

[Seether00]

I liked this quite a bit. I wish there was more though.

[Mr. Grimm]

1620228

He did make an appearance in another one of my stories, Wrath of the Jabberwock. I actually have some more ideas about him, but it might be a while before I write any of them down.