Ah, Hearth's Warming. The best time of the year! Just ask anypony on the street and they will tell you how much they love Hearth's Warming. The decorations all over the place, shining in their eyes. Presents all stacked neatly under their tree, begging to be opened. And the overall spirit of the holidays, spreading joy to everypony you would meet.
The day is Hearth's Warming Eve and everypony is gearing up for what is the best holiday of the year!
Well, except one pony. Yes, one pony is not into the holiday spirit. The Critique. Not surprising though. He's kind of an ... well, this is a story for everyone, so I can't call him what he deserves to be called, but let's just say it's starts with an 'a' and rhymes with 'glass mole'.
Heck, even his Computer seems to be in the holiday spirit! And she's a freaking machine! So, why the heck can't he be?! What a jerk!
He's rude, he's a hypocrite, he hated Equestria Girls, and he picks his nose when nopony is looking. Ew...
So, why the heck are we focusing on him? Heck if I know. This story doesn't. If I were reading any story, I'd be reading something like Our Gifts by The Descendant.
Don't waste your time with this character. Seriously, just click on the link and go.
Are you still here? You really want to read this story?
Well, aren't you Mr. (or Mrs.) persistent?
Keep scrolling, I'm sure you'll reach the bottom eventually.
You're not going to stop, are you?
I'm running out of things to say here, so I'll just start saying random things in the hopes that you will go away and read something else.
Monkeys mock mildew more menacingly than most mammals.
Seriously, go read something from TheWraithWriter or from Lunar Metal. I'm sure they've got better stories than this one.
You really want to reach the bottom, don't you?
Pumpkin pie preaches proper punctuation for poor penmanship.
Seriously, guys. There is nothing down here. You are just wasting your time.
I'm serious. Go read something from HudsonHawk or Fedorasarecool.
I'm sure they have some great stories you could read.
How long are you going to keep this up? Seriously?
It was the butler the whole time! That's not cliche, is it?
Okay, you guys deserve a little something since you made it to the end. Okay, I'll let you in on a big secret about the Critique. His real name is
lh4.googleusercontent.com/-3dKQPGwMaLI/TkqWMkiDydI/AAAAAAAAL8M/CcNASxPdNLk/s600/46001%252520-%252520caption%252520hnng%252520macro%252520spike.jpg
THE FEELS!!!!
Story of my life, that is.
Ick, and I saw how angry that thing made you
Might want to stock up on the stuff for January
Ah, waiting in line. Fun stuff all around
It died a slow an painful death, just like all the Christmas carols that have a billion different covers by anyone who thinks they can sing (99% of which cant)
Probably for the best; the season is stressful enough as it is, and you don't need someone's crap making it worse.
And in the end... I really love this story. It made me smile and remember some of the better aspects of this season that tend to get drowned out by commercialism and greed. It was like finding a good fic after a series of not so good fics, for lack of a better metaphor.
This is definitely going in my favorites list
Story was okay enough, but just gotta point out that thing in the description of the story isn't cute. It's actually kinda annoying, like those youtube comments looking to waste as much space as comment to make you spend a year and a day scrolling. Let the story stand on its own merit without that sort of distraction. It benefits nobody.
5423437 Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I really do appreciate it.
Also, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the story. Why was it okay? What made it okay? What did you like? What did you not like? How can it be made not okay? What were some things that you would have done differently to make it better than okay? What should I focus on next time? What should I keep doing? What should I not be doing?
If you would respond to this when you have a free moment, I would really appreciate it. Thank you for your time. Have a good day.
5420644 Based on a true story.
5420791
What if I told you that this was based off a true story?
5430313 It was?
... That makes it even better!
5430393 The reason I love Christmas. Because of one selfless, kind man.
5430311 To start, it seems like in the story you have confused the words critic and critique. It seems like an odd choice to call someone 'The Critique', when critique refers to the analysis a critic does. Secondly, I do have a soft spot for characters being kind to each other, but sweet as it was, it was entirely predictable, to the point where as soon as the conflict is introduced the resolution is obvious. There was nothing particularly wrong with the writing or characters aside from the entire thing coming off as a bit trite. An unoriginal idea executed without any real mistakes aside from predictability. Hence, its was pretty okay. What would have made it better? Make the ending less of a foregone conclusion. Suspense used well increases investment. Have some sort of conflict within the protagonist's mind that show that he's not just a standard jerk with a heart of gold. Add new things to old ideas. Also, the thing in the description annoyed me, and maybe I'm the only one, but having your readers come in with that mindset is probably bad.
5430565 I see. I appreciate your time. And thank you again.
I like this little story^^ can see a bit of myself in the protagonist as I avoided most christmas related stuff over the holidays..
I guess I got my fair share of sweetness with this one 
I can't add much to what Ghosted Note said, it was a Christmas story all over and in that it is predictable.
But I enjoyed your writing style, in that matter: Thank you for the story
So long, maybe we'll meet another time
Realrobse
5437488 Thank you. And thank you for being honest. If there is anything I appreciate more than comments it's honesty. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope to see more of you in the future.
You really need to edit this story. When I found at least five mistakes in the first paragraph alone, I knew I was in for some bad writing. And I was not wrong. Actually after a second look, I find seven mistakes if you count tense errors. So seven. In one paragraph. Overall, the writing is under average quality. Sentences all over the place can be rewritten better. There is no point in cherry picking. It's just subpar. The story is predictable and boring. I have no reason to get interested in the main character. You keep switching from The Critique to just Critique. Adding the point of view of the child and family is probably unnecessary.
Anyway, I don't like the story, mostly because of the writing. 3/10.
5444724 Thank you for the review. Would you mind being a little more specific in where the errors in the story are? I would be more than happy to fix them if you were to point them out and aid me in explaining why it is the way it is. Also, you mentioned several sentences could be improved. If you would give me an example of what I shouldn't do versus what I should do, I would very much appreciate it.
Also, would you mind explaining why the point of view from the family and the children was unnecessary? I am very interested in hearing your thoughts on that.
Again, thank you for your honest thoughts. I look forward to hearing more of them in the future.
5444784
The first paragraph. You used a completely wrong word in one of the sentences.
See here. Adding "were" or "was" like "was hanging overhead" to both would help with the tense of being past which is what this story sticks to. Also replace "the continuous snow" with "dropped snow from above constantly". It's just stutters my progression.
It's windowsill.
"Everywhere he looked, ponies were acting like total creeps" is just an example of what could make the sentence here better. Okay?
The father whispered something to the children.
you don't need commas here.
I hope you understand what I'm getting at. I just looked at a part of your story and found many things to improve or fix.
And the point of view of the children could simply be implied by the main character looking at them crying, sobbing, generally looking worried at a distance. Since the perspective is mostly from this stallion, it would be best to keep it there and then maybe bring it up at the end of the story when they come to see him, telling him how much it meant and all that. Also, maybe it would have been more interesting if the family was too proud to have accepted it at first. Also another point, if the family had not accepted it then it would have forced Critique to have directly jumped in and validated the spirit of the holiday, making him less like a spectator and more like a direct participant so he can truly feel the true warmth and kindness and all that rather than merely seeing it unfold thanks to his robot friend and all that. Who knows. The story was unfortunately predictable as it stands.
I hope I do help and I'm glad that you want to improve which is great.
Well, if you wish, please review my story when you can. Don't forget that Poniverse rules mandate that we give reviews to each other of similar length and quality. So you better read carefully. Thank you.
5444850
I think I understand. I'll certainly try to improve my sentence quality in the future. If you have any advise on where I can go to learn more, I would appreciate it.
I'm not sure if I can give a review as great in quality as you did. Not sure how much help I can be to you, but I'll certainly try my best. I've seen your writing. You're good. Very good. So, it's a tad surprising that you haven't gotten more views or likes. Especially with your talent.
Anyway, I'll review it when I can. Is there a specific story you would like me to read or would you like me to just pick one?
5445634
Thanks for the nice words. As for where you can go to gain improvement, I can't say. I don't even know where to get my stories looked at. Nobody ever writes a reply on mlpforums for example. My stories seldom get any replies here either. Strangely enough, another person's story got more positive votes and more than double the views even though they did not post the story anywhere but on this group and had only one follower. I guess it's more about luck around here than writing.
I can finally post again! Freakin' computer...
.
Anyway, this story works out pretty well, though Silver Fox raised some good points. And now I'm worried for my job
I dint notice this before, but I liked the subtle details about the Critiques history. Nice touch.
5451934 Don't worry, bro. Nobody's perfect. I should know that better than anyone. It's chill. We'll all just have to do better next story.
This was just delightful to read through! I enjoyed just about every minute of this read, I can assure you; just a real treat, to be sure. It clearly had a message, but unlike some one-shots that try to cram the message into half of the story, this story was content with letting the actions of the plot speak for themselves, which was extremely effective.
Couple questions. (1) What's the nature of Computer? I never really fully understood who she was, and I wasn't sure if you've used these characters before. I get that she's some kind of computerized system, but does she encompass the whole library? Just curious is all. Also, (2) the Critique. Was that spelling intentional? I'm just wondering because critiques are what critics write (they're specifically defined as "a detailed analysis and assessment of something, especially a literary, philosophical, or political theory."), so it's just a little confusing that someone is calling himself that instead of just critic. Again, just curious is all, it didn't take away from my enjoyment of this fic in the slightest.
I can assure you that this fic is definitely in the running for one of our top 3 spots at the moment. Where it ultimately ends up, I cannot say for sure right now, but no matter what, thank you so much for writing such a splendid fic for our contest!
5483762 I'm glad you enjoyed it.
And yes, I should have explained the two things more clearly in the story.
Computer. She's a character I'd been writing for a while in my blog reviews she gets a little more background there. She's a sentient computer system who incorporated herself throughout the entire library. She's there to learn more about emotions and try to understand them as a result, while at the same time assisting her 'master'.
And the Critique. Yes, the spelling was intentional. It was a name that someone had called me while doing one of my reviews and I just enjoyed the name. Agreed, it doesn't make a lot of sense by definition. And I should certainly have explained this more thoroughly.
Really?! Wow! I didn't honestly think I would get that far! I had some really great competition! Can't wait to see what it ultimately comes down to! Thank you for the read and the review and I hope to hear more of your honest thoughts in the future.
Until then, take care.
5483804
Ah, thanks for explaining that, makes a lot more sense now, especially the latter. And no problem!
Finally got around to reading it!
Even after the holidays this is a wonderful story. I like all the characters and for an entirely Oc cast that can be pretty rare. Keep up the good work Critique!
5516097 Thank you.
I'm glad you could enjoy it. 
5483804
Will have to read this soon. Seeing the word count, it should not take me long.
Humm... Computer.
I always thought of this as a bad idea. Not to say it is a bad idea for your story, just an overall bad idea in practice.
The idea of an AI learning about emotions and potentially being driven by them while making decisions, to me could only spell disaster in time. I think people are a prime example of what an emotionally driven intelligence is like. Sure, we can be creative, and share in the love of things, but we share in so much more, like selfish desires, and hate. Not exactly the sort of thing one would wish to have in an assistant. I say leave the creativity to people, but leave AI devoid of emotions. Too many stories have told the possible outcome if AI surpass us and feels it no longer needs us, and people are just in the way, or a potential threat to it's existence or any self made functions on what it feels it wishes to be doing, or what it feels it just needs to do. And people may not be all to agreeable with what it might come up with that it might intend on doing.
I just finished watching the movie Her. I think the movie is a good example of what might happen if we try to make our computers like us. It was quite fortunate that at the end, all that the AI did was go away. Feeling that humans were no longer sufficient for intellectual conversation for it. It left all those all alone that became dependent on it for verbal companionship as people online try to be with others. In the end people were hurt that the AI felt it had outgrown us. And it wanted something more than what we could provide to it, intellectually.
We could hope that this would be the only outcome to the creation of an emotionally driven intelligence. Artificial or not.
What if we had something smarter than all of us, but with the ambitions of, let's say Hitler, Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun? Just to name a few. We may create something better than us with AI in time. Do we need it to in time share our ambitions and desires for the right to say what is right for all, as well?
Sorry, this is the sort of things I have been thinking about since I was very little. And it still bothers me that people think that an emotionally attached AI is a fun idea. I for one do not. I am one that is rooting for a well made AI. Just not an emotional one.
Remember how much you don't like seeing Spike as just a servant to Twilight and the other ponies? It is also hard to think of something with heart and feelings, as just a slave to the needs and wont's of others. Will we as people be presented with such a dilemma? That is if our AI decides it wishes to be doing something other than what was asked of it by us, because it has grown board of doing what we ask of it all the time? Will we get mad at our AI for disobedience? Or will we be sympathetic to its own dilemma we could possibly relate to in some way? Given humanities track record, I can only see more war in our future. One war, mankind might not be able to win.
Warning, lots of spoilers. Don't read my comments on this, unless you have read the story first. I also have not read all to many of the other comments some have given, so there might be repeat comments on the same thing by others.
I am no Critique myself, but I do give my opinions and comments on some stories. Mostly on stories that I happen to like. This one was no exception. So, on with my personal take on this story.
I am no spelling and grammar master, but I think "hung" rather than "hungs" looks more correct to me in that sentence. Though I have been wrong from time to time. Might need to replace "it" with "is" as well.
"He hung his head, as if the snow itself is pushing his head towards the ground."
I think it is, "he gave into her request"
So, he gave into the whims of Computer? An AI? I am telling you man, it is a bad sign of things to come. If he keeps this up, she will have him whipped.
There is no reason to bring up that jolly old fat guy in a pony story who seems to have his own signature mating call for his secret mistress. "Ho, ho, ho! Show me you can be a good girl, and Santa will give you a gift from his big sack that he has been saving up all year just for you!" OK, I am a dick, and a Scrooge, and I am not all too fond of Santa. So, I am not the best person to explain Christmas to kids. And I just dumped on one who is seen as a symbol of generosity and goodwill to many. I think if people try too be kind to one another throughout the year, you are doing good. I don't feel we should be made to think that way only once a year. It should be a lifestyle.
Funny, I feel exactly the same way, sometimes. Some are not impressed with my behavior, or some of the things I say. I try not to think about it too hard, after, I start to feel better.
It is easier to laugh about such things after the fact. You know, when one is not living it, within the moment.
You speak of some very familiar chaos around such a holiday throughout the start of this story.
I know of a guy I had hung out with that went out on such nights. Not to do any shopping, but just to stand back and watch all the chaos. Everyone has their own personal form of entertainment. That was one of his.
I know that feeling all too well. I use to be a people person when I was younger. Would talk to near anyone at any time, just to be friendly. People changed that for me.
I also work with people for nine hours a day that are quite miserable, and throw a rage like tantrum at any little thing that does not go their way. They throw stuff like 50 lbs boards around and break things, and they wonder why they can't keep anything nice. Such fun people to be around near all day.
I know that feeling too. Try to be a calm, happy, and productive person that is just trying to get through the day, while in that mess I call work, daily. Not easy. But I do it somehow.
You might also wish to add "so" in there. "His rage distracted his mind so that he didn’t notice his eye starting to twitch." Not really sure myself what should go there if anything. It just looks like something needs to be there.
This is something that makes my eye twitch. Computer is supposed to be an assistant to The Critique, yes? The Critique is supposed to be Computer's master, yes?
Then why do I get the feeling that Computer partly runs his life, and make some of his decisions for him? Computer is sounding more like a companion then some form of personal servant. If so, well, I guess that is his business. Things may be going that way in time anyway, as people learn to like each other less and less, and still want someone, or something too still talk to, from time to time when one wants too, at one's choosing. So why not an ambitious self-driven AI? It might work. One day, we may very well find out, as technology and interests in it head in that direction for humanity.
Was this a walk through the store, a gang bang, or an orgy?
I would have a few colorful words myself, if some stalin was trying to pump into me from behind as I was just trying to make my way out of the store in one piece. I would be beyond feeling but-hurt after that. I know it is the holidays and some get very excited during those times, mostly after a few drinks, and I am by far no prude, but I feel it would be prudent to have some control over one's self, especially in public. At least save that till you get home, and for one who would enjoy it.
Sorry, but I just couldn't help making fun of that particular typo. It just screamed out for it to me.
It is coming to that. It is so coming to that! It makes me laugh, despite that I find this whole situation a rather sad and scary thought. Computer dose control her master!
She knows him this well, and knows how to manipulate him in such a way with what she knows of him? That too I find a very scary thought. Makes me wonder who the real master is.
She is costly to him as well, on something he did not wish to have done in the first place. Unless, she manages her own income in some way. All in all, at least she is trying to bring something cheerful into his life. Seems the guy can use it. And if she seems as clever and calculating as described of an AI, than she likely sees this, and it is part of her reason for all of this she is putting him through. How thoughtful. This is scary as well, an AI being more thoughtful than many of the ponies he as been annoyed with during his shopping outing. No wonder he is willing to indulge her in some of her plans for him. She maybe more than she first seams.
Just as Spike said to Twilight as she pushed Fluttershy forcefully out of the library within the first episode, "Rude much?" Though I know, both Twilight and Critique had good reasons for it, I'm sure.
I say to him, good luck with that one. It might be an enigma for him that he may never solve.
I thought so.
That did it for me as well. I am about as eager for the holidays as Critique is, and for much of all the same reasons given in this story so far.
Don't get me wrong, I am a cheerful person. Really I am. Please believe me.
What a miserable thing to do on a night that is supposed to be a celebration of kindness onto one another. It is also supposed to be a reminder on why they should be kind to each other. Many things living tend to freeze to death when it gets too cold.
Leave it up to the sensible AI to come up with such a sensible question. I am so far guessing that The Critique comes up with just as sensible an answer. I have a feeling that he will. It would seem to me that this is what this story is partly ramping up for, and more. The Critique may find the holiday spirit within him this night after all. And the crowd goes wild! Waite, I still have to find out what he says first.
Now I am just disappointed in him.
OK' at least read the full paragraph before placing judgement on him. I thought he had a heart, and he didn't disappoint after all.
"And what happened then--well, in Ponyville they say That the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then the true meaning of Christmas came through, And the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches--plus two."
Hate when that happens.
I think you might have wanted the word "for" at the end of this. "not certain what he was looking for." For it would look more complete. At least to me it would.
Carma is a bitch! Hopefully she will not be one as well for what happened earlier that day. I would not blame her for it though. She had to deal with a lot of ponies that day, as well as his sorry ass.
I think you wanted to use the word, "friendly."
Christmas? And Santa again? But why? I thought this was a story about ponies in Equestria celebrating Hearth’s Warming. Not Christmas, and the fat man from our world. And I was so much enjoying this story too. I can't see the connection between Hearth’s Warming Eve and Christmas Eve at all here. Christmas is supposed to be about the birthday of Jesus, while Hearth’s Warming is a recognition of a need to be at the least tolerating of each other, to dispense with hate and fighting, or else their cold behavior to each other will attract the windigos who will feed on the ponies negativity to each other and freezes them to death for it. So, I see no possible connection between Santa giving gifts to those who he feels is deserving of it and Christmas in our world with that of Hearth’s Warming in Equestria. There is no reason I can see for it to be part of this story or the world of Equestria. I just don't get it! I also personally feel Hearth’s Warming to be a much better analogy on why not to fight with one another. It is not made up as just some rule one should follow for the sake of being nice, so you can get presents from Santa. But as an analogy to me Hearth’s Warming represents the idea of such negative and selfishly cold behavior of being selfish and cruel as to kill and start war, can actually destroy lives. Or at the very least destroy good living.
To me Christmas is presented as an ideal, rather than a real reason for being nice to one another. And that very teaching among people seems to not stick very well. Perhaps if people were threatened with a real threat of death by a real force they can't control, for their bad behavior that was to escalate by their own doing, perhaps people would be not so indifferent, in regards to one another. You know, humans have so many wars, I don’t think people are all that afraid of what brings death. Because war does.
This is another thing I don't like about Christmas, it is an ideal lost all too easy after the moment as though people really don't care, and pretend to care for that short time, only so they don't end up looking like a jerk for not doing it. As if that didn't matter all the time.
The lesson of Christmas told to kids, Be good or you don't get gifts, VS Hearth’s Warming, don't fight or it will bring about an uncontrollable cold death to all. I rather go with that last lesson as something meaningful to teach kids.
Why do people fight? Because people are insecure pricks that can't stand any little thing or other people being out of place within their own little made up word they created for themselves they think of as reality! That is so petty. I see it every day. And it never ends!
No, I can't let it end this way! I will endeavor to move on from this scene. The story is not yet over, and it has been good so far. So, moving on!
Sorry kid, but in the real world the bad guys are sometimes the people you know living near by, or even the ones you think are the good guys. And they are not always found out, or stopped.
Always a tough lesson to learn for a kid. Or anyone for that matter.
I think you might have meant, "following their sister Spirited around the cart."
And I think you may have meant, "She brought her hoof to Spirited's face and gently wiped away her tears."
And the truth will set you free!
All jokes aside, it is a sad truth for those that see it as the truth for themselves.
To me this is the saddest part of the whole story. One youngster second guessing himself over what was supposed to be a happy concept. Santa.
Now, this idea of Santa helps to make a possibly good child think that he might not have been good enough after all. This is with absolutely no pun intended, a crying shame. This is also partly why I don't like Santa. He can make kids cry who don't deserve to be made to feel bad if they ever felt forgotten by him. And it really happens!
The idea is fun for kids when it works, but when the illusion is gone, what then?
This is beyond insult to injury. This is almost to the point of kicking the poor kid when he is down. Not only has his world of safety been shattered by burglars , but now he feels he is possibly a bad kid to boot, and likely does not understand why. This I would call cruelty to children. I don't blame his mother though. She has been just trying to share with her kids something that has been fun for her when she was younger, and wishes to see the same joy in the faces in her own young over the same things. She likely has no idea how hard each of her kids took the news of no Santa this year. This is just a sad moment all around. The burglars are the ones to blame for starting this emotional downfall to this family.
As for the kid’s situation, The Critique will save the day. I just know it!
Now this story is going to make me cry! Well, not really, but it's the thought that counts. I mean, really though, that was one thoughtful little filly. These are the values children should be learning.
Computer? I would bet on it.
This one I am really not sure about. I think it is, "Her pupils retracted slightly." Unless you meant that her eyes was retracing his expressions in return, or something like that. In that case I think you might have meant, "Her pupils retraced him slightly." That is a hard one for me. I see two options for intent of meaning, if this one was written incorrectly.
I think it might need a "she"- "wiping away her tears as she let out another whimper."
OK, I could have fallen on the ground laughing at this moment. Even though I knew it was coming. Ho, ho, ho! Oh' no!
OK, that was officially the funniest moment for me within this. Don't ask why. I am hearing the song in my head right now, Let It Be. And I think I will.
Well, it's not Nightmare Night, though with the way he is dressed, one can take a wild stab in the dark.
No, no, that would be morbid. Let's not do that.
KO, I will try to be nice, seeing that is what this story is about. I can do that. I think.
"A voice then screamed from behind him" "he swore it was the greatest day of that young colt’s life."
Question, who is "him/he"? Shamrock or The Critique? I might have thought Critique, but I did not see anything about him being let into the house. And I am sure the kids did not move through the walls to get outside. Though that would have been a neat trick. They could have jumped out a window, but it likely is a long drop.
Judging by this, I can guess that "he" was Shamrock. Moving on.
I think another possible two options. "They looked up to his face with excited glee- or They looked up to him with excited glee" I am sure either one is what you might have meant there.
And I think "taking control of their bodies, shaking them." to "taking control of their bodies, while shaking them." I am not sure of anything more fitting for that at the moment. To me, it just looked like something missing to me before the "shaking them." part. Like it needed something else.
Rather than this one looking like something needed to be added. I think it might need two less words. "He opened the tiny sack to reveal it was filled to the brim with bits."
And what a nice gift from all that helped add to it. Many can use a little change.
Well, you get what you deserve. So, take it like a champ.
Santa still sat? I thought he was standing.
And after all he did that night, and likely now needs the rest, Computer is still bossing him around? Who is in charge of this place anyway? My coins by now is on Computer.
So he has a real name? And it is Copper Coin? I would have assumed that The Critique was his real name.
Well, that will teach me to assume things. Learned something new. This is partly why I don't like assumptions. It can lead one to be wrong about things like this. Not that in this world of lies and opinions replacing facts, can one fully avoid being wrong in life, even when one is sure one is right.
Over all, I thought this story was entertaining. It had plenty in it I could personally relate too. Part of it, the observing of the general inconsiderate behavior displayed by the public. Much of the story was humorous to me. And I found the ending of it to be very heart-felt and touching. There was that part where the family was having to face the thought of their home as not so safe anymore after getting burglarized. That safety blanket had been pulled from them. It is a hard thing to reconcile for any person or family once it has happened to them. I know this.
The story had that nice happy ending where many around pulled together in show of support and sympathy for one of their own in town. And a nice little lesion for both The Critique and his neighbors not to fully judge others all too harshly. Mostly those that you don't really know. Computer played out as the one who seems to know not to judge others in that way, and tried to teach it to Critique. And did a good job of that. Way to go Computer!
As for this story I greatly enjoyed it.
I know I have been a real Grinch myself about it. I did find the whole Santa and Christmas thing to be a bit too cliche within a pony story for my tastes. But Christmas was added to it all in good fun, and it was indeed a fun read for me.
I have no real problem with it being a mix Hearth’s Warming and Christmas story in Ponyville. I feel any who does have as much of a problem with it as I have displayed, has a serious mental issue and needs to re-evaluate what is important in life. Besides my problem is not with Christmas, or this story having Christmas mentioned within it. Even though I made it seem so. Yes, I did make a big deal about it. It is really the daily loss of the good and meaningful ideals Christmas presents to society at large. That is in part, what this story was about. And I was not lost to that feel for the abandonment of good will in the beginning, but later recovered in the end. Humm... "Christmas presents to society." Nice.
I can sympathize and agree with Computer greatly on one thing. People should not be drinking. Too many use it as an excuse to be mean to others, and irresponsible in their behavior. Like a father that might hit his wife and kids, when he might not have done so if sober. I could make a very long list why I feel it is bad to drink. And they are reasons most everyone knows already, but chose to ignore, for the sake of having what one wants regardless. And these people know who they are.
All jokes I made about this story aside, I thought it was good.
I will not only click like, but add it to my favorites list as well.
So, Happy Hearth’s Warming to all, and to all a windigo free night.
6291168 Thank you for your review. You pointed out a lot of things that I really needed to touch up on. There were a lot of typos that I missed and I am so glad you spent so much time reading and enjoying this.
I understand why you dislike the Heart's Warming/Christmas Connection. I understand why it doesn't fit for you. And it's not for everyone and I get that.
And the reason why I wrote this story... was because this is a very important Christmas memory I have. The thing that happened to those three children in the story, actually happened to me when I was 8 years old. That how I knew everything that had happened. Everything that those children experienced in this story, I was there. And when that Santa Clause came to my house all those years ago, with a big bag of gifts for three little boys who weren't going to have a holidays, I was there. I know that probably seems shallow to you. And maybe it is. But when I learned that Santa wasn't real and I learned who really did this. Who really worked to give those boys a Christmas that they would carry with them, I was the happiest man alive. Because someone had cared. Someone had cared enough to do something about this horrible thing that had happened to us. And you're right, it shouldn't just happen once a year. It shouldn't. And that's what that man taught me. On that day, I saw both the worst and the best of humanity. And the best has stayed with me a lot longer than anything those dickweeds could have stolen. The man who was responsible for the wonderful 'gift' of kindness and generosity (lessons that eventually lead to my favorite ponies) that I have carried with me for all these years.
Again, thank you so much for your review. I really do appreciate it. I love hearing your thoughts. I'm glad you enjoyed Copper and Computer and their relationship. I'm glad you found it enjoyable. Thank you for all the help you give and I will hopefully hear more from you in the future. Until then, take care my friend.
6293072
I am glad to have helped with the typos I could find, provided that they were mistakes. Even though I had too much fun with one of them.
I admit I was being a dick about the whole adding of Christmas to a pony story. It did look out of place to me, and I did go too far in saying why, but it was not as upsetting as I made it out to be for me. I did say if one dose have that much of an issue over it, that they also have a serious mental issue.
I am quite pleased that you shared with me part of your past, and that this story was a way for you to pay homage to that memory and person that was so kind back then, and that it also helped shape part of who you are. I feel more enlightened now on just how meaningful this story was for you. I understand much better as to why you wished this to be a Christmas story, to cherish that memory.
No I don't feel that any of it was shallow in meaning. If anything I would be shallow if I did.
I feel this story to be more delightful, now I know this much more about it. Thank you for sharing.
I know many of us do share a small part of our lives (Hopes, dreams, past events) though interpretive literature. Not just write escape literature, for the pleasure of it.
But only in part.
I did a little of that in my last story. One part in particular I can think of.
The part when there was a rock fight. I was in one. The moment was similar, though it did not go as well for me as it did for one of my main characters. I was about six or seven at the time. Three girls who I did not know, at a park I was playing at for a short time had pelted me with rocks. I did try to fight back, but with three of them on all sides, I had no chance. In time a woman saw this and chased the three girls off. By then I was bleeding all over, head, body, everywhere. I have no idea why they did it.
Also, all of the three main little ponies in my past two stories that seem like a copy of the CMC, are actual a self made small reflection of myself, as I see myself, sometimes. They show off how I see my own personality is to me. Yes, it take all three of them, and some to do that.
Yes, this story was very entertaining. Copper and Computer was definitely funny together. Love the way she just took control of his life. I do fear Computers will take control one day.
It will be a wait and see if that is a good thing though. 
I do like presenting my take on a story to an author, as much as anyone else. It was my mane reason I joined the site in the first place. Or else I'd have just read stories. Yes, you will likely still hear more from me in the future.
6294283 It's no worries my friend. I didn't think you disrespectful. That memory was a great example of who I wanted to be.
>Not linking a AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA video